Re: In the middle of a meltdown

[Guest guest]

,Sometimes a child's depression/suicidal feelings can be related to his Asperger's Syndrome. When was 12, he went to a private school for kids with ADHD. All the boys in his class decided that was weird. Every last one of them turned against him. They learned which buttons to push to get him into trouble. They got very sneaky and pushed buttons while the teacher wasn't looking. Then would explode. He was not normally an explosive kid. His very best friend led the anti- parade. I would admit that must have some genetic propensity for depression; it's in the family, after all. However, it seems clear to me that in this case, his depression was clearly related to his Asperger's. He was depressed due to the way other children were treating him. They were treating him badly because of his Asperger's. LizOn Aug 8, 2008, at 6:39 PM, MacAllister wrote:I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me. The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/characterizations of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved. ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.

[Guest guest]

I'm not saying kids with Aspergers can't be suicidal. I totally understand some will be at certain points. Man, I feel for you and your son! How horrible for something like to happen. I completely get it. The previous poster though said her son had had suicidal tendencies or thoughts or something like that since the age of 4. That's very different than what happened to your son in a particularly difficult situation. I was trying to say, in case I wasn't clear enough, that it's not a "normal" situation for a child w/ Aspergers to be suicidal since the age of 4. And how we need to be clear about our child, his/her diagnosis or diagnoses, so people reading these posts can get a true picture.

I'm so sorry for your son. Something, on a much smaller scale, happened to my son in the 2nd grade. He just started a new school and had only one friend in the whole school, who also happened to be put in the same classroom with Dylan and lived down from the street from my parents (we were staying with them after I broke up w/ my boyfriend, my daughter's dad.) Once school started though, his friend wouldn't play with him or acknowledge Dylan as his friend. Dylan would say to him, in front of other boys, "you're my friend, right?" and he would say "no". At first I was mad, but then I looked at the situation. Dylan's friend was shy, painfully shy. So to have ridicule or be called out or made fun of was just horrendous for him so he denied Dylan. It was so bad though. Broke my heart (and Dylan's even more so) over and over again. Now though, Dylan and him are friends again. They have been

for about 3 years. They don't go to the same school anymore though, which helps. He's probably Dylan's 2nd best friend right now. Dylan's 1st best friend is moving to Arizona this fall. Very, very sad. Very sad.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I am

happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept

our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.

[Guest guest]

You said something that reminded me of what my son does or did....Your my friend, right? It is like they are not confident in themself and they are constantly checking...sometimes I know my son would check to much and annoy the kids and thus push them away.

I think we need to help build our children's self-esteem. I know my son has very low self-esteem and used to call himself stupid....even though I would tell him that is not true! I think he would look at other kids and see how self-confident they were and that would make him feel bad like he was not equal to them.

I have told my son....if they are not your friend, then that is okay because they are the ones losing out....I tell him he is a true friend...a giving and loving child and if they don't want to be his friend then they will lose out on all the cool stuff we do and fun we have....I tell him all he needs is one good friend....and if all the kids in the world were mean...then I would rather not be friends with any of them....that I would rather be by myself doing my own thing then be with them getting hurt all the time.

Thanks for understanding...it was really hard for a long time.

jan

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

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I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me. The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/ characterization s of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some

kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I

am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.

[Guest guest]

Oh how sad...how horrible...I hate to hear stories like that!!!!! It like what happened to my son....this one boy on the bus use to be his BF but then his step-dad didn't want them to hang out any more....I guess he felt that my son caused his step-son to get in trouble all the time...well, this boy got everybody on the bus to tease me son all the time. We finally put him on a smaller bus and of course this kid went around telling everyone that my son was on the TART CART....but for the first time in his life...my son went up to his teacher like I told him to and reported it...and boy did that teacher ream all those kids out!!!!

Kids can be so very very cruel especially in the middle grades.

jan

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me.

The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/ characterization s of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some

kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I

am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.

[Guest guest]

Oh how sad...how horrible...I hate to hear stories like that!!!!! It like what happened to my son....this one boy on the bus use to be his BF but then his step-dad didn't want them to hang out any more....I guess he felt that my son caused his step-son to get in trouble all the time...well, this boy got everybody on the bus to tease me son all the time. We finally put him on a smaller bus and of course this kid went around telling everyone that my son was on the TART CART....but for the first time in his life...my son went up to his teacher like I told him to and reported it...and boy did that teacher ream all those kids out!!!!

Kids can be so very very cruel especially in the middle grades.

jan

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me.

The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/ characterization s of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some

kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I

am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.

[Guest guest]

I think it might do us all well to ask questions for clarification if someone makes a statement & then generalizes it to all of "our" kids. Perhaps we should mention that we have never had that particular problem rather than doing just much generalizing by stating that a certain way of parenting or doing things is THE way. Afterall we are here to support one another not pass judgement. I, for one, will be very hesitant to vent with this group & think it would be best if this topic of conversation was put to rest. I am politely asking the moderator to help get us back to a healthy supportive group. I don't need criticism, I get enough of that everywhere else.Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Aug 11, 2008, at 4:54 PM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

Oh how sad...how horrible...I hate to hear stories like that!!!!! It like what happened to my son....this one boy on the bus use to be his BF but then his step-dad didn't want them to hang out any more....I guess he felt that my son caused his step-son to get in trouble all the time...well, this boy got everybody on the bus to tease me son all the time. We finally put him on a smaller bus and of course this kid went around telling everyone that my son was on the TART CART....but for the first time in his life...my son went up to his teacher like I told him to and reported it...and boy did that teacher ream all those kids out!!!!

Kids can be so very very cruel especially in the middle grades.

jan

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me.

The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/ characterization s of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some

kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I

am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

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[Guest guest]

Yeah,,,,I agree and I started the topic (LOL)! But I started it becuase I was down in the dumps and I guess I wanted support and I needed to vent....it is so hard when you child is in the middle of it and it does happen and you know what ...i am not the strongest person in the world and parenting has been very difficult on me. I will be the first ot admit it. But I just wanted support so I agree ...enough. I guess it is time to move on.

Jan

Janice Rushen

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I don't know how you got that I was trying to say my life was harder? That completely escapes me. The reason I thought your initial post proved my point was b/c (if memory serves me correctly, I'm not searching through my trash bin to find the original email) you mentioned in your post how your child was suicidal since the age of 4 and then was making other generalizations/ characterization s of "our" kids which I thought was sort of irresponsible in terms of posting. Not that it was your intention, but we have to be clearer on here. I'm pretty certain your son has other problems besides having Aspergers so it might be helpful to list those things too so parents on here can see and decide if your post is relevant to them in terms of similarity in diagnoses. And feeling or even being clinically depressed vs. saying you want to die or trying to kill yourself are VERY different things. We have to be careful about what we say on here and how we make sweeping generalizations about "our" kids when some

kids on here have multiple diagnoses and are lots of super-duty medications while others just have Aspergers and minimal, if no medication. That was my point that you proved.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I

am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tearsalmost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didntwork for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from

her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos.