Re: Also new here

[Guest guest]

Welcome Ine,

It sounds as if you are already taking all steps to help your son and

are becoming a powerful advocate. You are correct: The person who

dismissed your concerns simply because you do not have a paper degree

in psychology was not at all helpful, nor accurate. Any Family-

Centred Care practioner will be the first to admit that the parent

has a good deal to offer regards to information on their child; after-

all, certainly you spend the greatest amount of time with him and

know him best! Do not ever allow anyone to convince you otherwise. As

I say, seems like you are right on track in contacting another

fascility for further evaluation.

Regards to the military: That is true, I have also heard some

speculation on military personnel and Autism, but I suspect it may be

more of a genetic basis... The military is very routine, it can be a

perfect spot for persons who have ASD! Similarly, you will find that

a lot of professionals: Engineers, scientists, doctors even police

sometimes fit too. When I looked back at my father-in-law (police

background) it makes so much sense that he was likely on the

spectrum. He was 'different' and quite frankly, a bit annoying

because of his self-centredness which was not helped by drinking.

However, in hindsight, I believe there was more going on: His ability

to make friends, but not retain a friendship, his fascination with

hoarding everything, limited interests, but very mechanical and

intelligent in that regard. When I look at our son with Aspergers-

like qualities, my heart softens towards the memory of my FIL because

perhaps if his 'quirks' had have been recognized and his good

qualities nurtured, he might have achieved a more interactive and

pleasant relationship with others - as we hope to do for our son.

Initially, our son, by some, was seen as uncooperative. I found that

difficult to fathom because he is the sweetest person I know who will

do anything for you. It made so much sense why he was such a visual

learner as opposed to an auditory one when we began evaluations and

learned that he had CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder).

Although he hears well, it is difficult for him to interpret words

and he listens to all background noises with the same intensity of a

voice speaking with him. So, it wasn't that he was purposely being

uncooperative, not listening to instructions, but missed what was

required of him. We now know that it is important to alert teachers

in advance that they need to repeat and rephrase queries and it is

helpful to wear an FM headset in the classroom to amplify their voice

above others. Imagine, how difficult life must have been for a person

born in the 1930's to receive understanding if they had similar

issues going on... For my FIL, (whose own father was military and

supposedly a quiet man of few words, but great authority) he was

probably cuffed for not following up on a request.

We have come far, but still so much further to go...

You are doing great, Ine, and you will continue to.

Velvet

>

> Hi all,

>

> I too am new here, however I have been lurking and trying to

learn.  Recently I have learned that my son might have Asperger's.  I

have been reading up on it but all the information is so

overwhelming.  2 weeks ago we went to the local mental health center

for evaluation.  The first session was mainly me talking, family

history and such.  When the psychologist asked me what I thought the

problem was and I mentioned Asperger's she shook her head and told me

to leave the diagnoses up to the professionals.  Well... I was not

impressed with that remark as I am his mother and I know what is

going on in the home, she asked me what I thought the problem was and

I gave her an answer.

>

> Here is my story:

> My son Xander is 5 years old and is the oldest of 3. He has a

brother that is 3 and a sister that is 2.  From the beginning Xander

was different then other babies.  He was much more demanding and

smart but then again behind in other things.  As I am Belgian (living

in the USA) I started teaching him both Dutch and English.  He is

fluent in both but chooses to say the word that is easiest for him

which means that he speaks a mixture of both languages.  Because of

this his speech did develop a little later as this is normal for bi-

lingual raised children (at least that is what I was told). 

>

> Xander has always been intrigued by trains.  We live very close to

a track and even though we have lived here for the past 2 years,

every train that passes still seems to be the first train he sees. 

He only plays with his the Tank Engine set and everything has

to be exactly in order for him to be able to enjoy it.  When Riley

(brother) or Kaitlyn want to join in they have to play by Xander's

rules. 

>

> After baby gates did not work anymore we have had to resort to

multiple gates to block the kitchen.  Otherwise he will get in there

and make huge messes. Knowing he will get in trouble for it.  He has

no sense of danger.  He knows how to open the childlocks and gets

into chemicals that now I have hidden in an extra room that is

actually locked.  Same goes for the bathroom.  We can't lock this as

all of us need to be able to go to the bathroom.

>

> He is a wonderful child but has problems with anger outbursts when

something does not go his way.  I have to sit down with him and hold

him until he calms down, then we can start talking about what the

problem is.  At school (preschool) the teachers are wonderful and

have a lot of experience with special need kids.  He wants to be

friends with the other kids, but they lose interest in him as he

always wants them to follow his rules and gets really upset when they

don't.  He is also very hyper and will be rough with other kids and

the teacher's will take him out of the situation as this is not ok.

>

> He already has an IEP in place for social and emotional issues.  He

gets 1 hour of one on one with the spec. ed teacher every monday but

she does also spent time with him while they are in group.  Xander

does not like the groups and will ask to go to the bathroom or to

get a drink of water.  The teachers and I have agreed that they will

have Xander go to the bathroom and get a drink of water before and

after group time.  But if he feels the need to remove himself from

the group he may go to the 'safe place' this is a quiet corner with a

few pillows and stuffed animals, that is right by the group area. So

he does not really miss out on group time.

> He  is also very attached to grown-ups in his life and demands

their attention.  both his teachers and one para that he is really

attached to and myself and my husband's mother.

>

> My husband was in the military and I did read about several studies

that show that Asperger's is becoming more and more frequent in

military families.  Possibly something to do with exposion to certain

chemicals.

>

> I know this is a lot to read but I am asking for your help.  What

do I really look for in a 5-year old?  I already have contacted a

different center in a nearby town, they are an actual school for

autistic children and different types of behavior issues.

>

> Thank you

> Ine

>