Telling Others

[Guest guest]

Hi Lesli

My daughter is 15 and she has not told any of her friends.They do know that

she goes to a doctor for her " stomach pains " .She doesn't want them to know

and I think she's afraid of what they will say or how they will

react.(socially)She has noticed some OCD traits in some of her friends,but

she doesn't say anything to them.She hides her OCD at school and at the

moment,she is doing better at home.

Theresa

[Guest guest]

Kel's about given up telling others she has OCD because the other

person--adult or same-age friend--usually doesn't understand, at least to

the degree Kel would like to be understood. ly I like this better than

earlier when she would tell *anyone* " I have OCD " --mailman,

next-door-neighbor, dentist, the person behind us in the checkout line at

WalMart. Kel sometimes seems confused whether having OCD is a " good " thing,

something that distinguishes her and makes her special, or a " bad " thing

that should be kept from others at all costs. She's remarked recently that

she doesn't like being a weird kid (her word), meaning she doesn't want to

be different from the other girls. She's definitely trending toward keeping

her OCD a secret. I would like to help her distinguish between being

discrete about OCD yet not ashamed, but this is a difficult distinction for

her to make at her age.

Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/16/00 2:01:18 PM !!!First Boot!!!, pudding@...

writes:

<<

Hi Lesli

My daughter is 15 and she has not told any of her friends.They do know that

she goes to a doctor for her " stomach pains " .She doesn't want them to know

and I think she's afraid of what they will say or how they will

react.(socially)She has noticed some OCD traits in some of her friends,but

she doesn't say anything to them.She hides her OCD at school and at the

moment,she is doing better at home.

Theresa >>

I am a 15 year old with OCD. If your daughter ever wants to talk to someone

with OCD that understands what she is going through, have her e-mail me.

Please tell her that it helps to let others know. It kind of takes the

pressure off. I went through years of not telling anyone, and now a lot of

people know, including my teachers. Having a meeting with my teachers is one

of the best things I could have done. All my friends are very supportive, and

try to help me stop rituals, even though they don't understand them.

-Liz

[Guest guest]

Hi I am Lori,

My daughter is 16 and very athletic, cheerleading etc. Not really popular, but

knows a lot of kids. She told her volleyball team and cheerleading squad.

They were all amazed at how she gets through day at school and home. Granted

she has known many since preschool. This was extremely hard for her. She

could not participate in huddles at games or get real close. She is very

easily agitated (meds?) and felt the need to explain. They were beginning to

push her away as if she was a snot! She wanted them to know it was OCD not

just being a bitch? (sorry). Most have told her they feel they have something

hiding in themselves. No one has really gossiped (and some are reall ugly

girls to others) They seem so excepting compared to when I was in school.

I am telling you because it did not scar my daughter for life. Her true

friends have almost been closer to her now, once they understand how the meds

effect her, and the routine are so involved!

Please encourage her seek out her school counselor! We have a lady that got

her on the ADA 504 plan. She knows about the meds so if teachers or students

have a problem w/ her she can intervene.

Lori from California

Write back

Theresa wrote:

> From: " Theresa " <pudding@...>

>

> Hi Lesli

> My daughter is 15 and she has not told any of her friends.They do know that

> she goes to a doctor for her " stomach pains " .She doesn't want them to know

> and I think she's afraid of what they will say or how they will

> react.(socially)She has noticed some OCD traits in some of her friends,but

> she doesn't say anything to them.She hides her OCD at school and at the

> moment,she is doing better at home.

>

> Theresa

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

I notice that Ava will tell other kids who have anything themselves,

like ADD or anxiety. She lights up when she finds out a friend is also

on medication and then wants to compare notes. This happened when a new

friend was over last week and mentioned she had ADHD and took meds. It

was funny because this girl also has ocd tendencies and noticed that

Ava's room had lots of little organized things and the friend was dying

to rearrange them - Ava noticed that - and Ava didn't want her to, the

friend noticed that. Once they revealed their diagnosis's they had a

good laugh about it.

Dana in NC

[Guest guest]

Well good luck and don't stop pushing them.

I do know how rough it is. Oh yes, there must be many kids and adults

with OCD!

Smiles to you!

Lori

Theresa wrote:

> From: " Theresa " <pudding@...>

>

> Hi LoriEllen does have a 504 plan(finally),but the school counselors

> are absolutely worthless when it comes to dealing with anything other

> than school related problems,schedules,placements,etc.The school

> psychologist is wonderful,but she deals with 4 schools.She is trying

> to get the high school to designate someone that will be responsible

> and be an intermediary for the children that have 504 plans.The school

> counselors keep passing the buck and do not want the

> responsibility.Something interesting that I learned at the beginning

> of the school year was that Ellen is the only one in the high

> school(that they know of)who has OCD.Amazing!!There are approximately

> 1000 students .I'm sure there are others,but either they haven't been

> diagnosed or they are hiding it. Theresa

> -----------------------------------------------------------------------

> [

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, there is that old fashioned attitude towards our type

of problem. I never mentioned that I had taken anti depressants

except to a very few close relatives since it is no body's business

anyway. After all, if you have a headache, is it bad to take an

asprin?

My story is a bit different though since I have quit SSRI's. I am

still suffering with anxiety, depression and the like but the

suffering from the sides that these meds caused me has also stopped.

I really think I would rather be in the shape I am in now, but that

is a decision for each of us to make!

When things like you are going thru overwhelm you, you should act in

your own best interest and to heck with what others think. (they

have their own buried secrets!!)

Good Luck

jeff

> Do your loved ones (family members and friends) know you are

taking

> anti-depressants? I haven't told my family (except my hubby)

yet. Began Lex 2

> weeks ago. I told one friend, who freaked out, and proceeded to

tell me that I

> " copped out " , and " should take more responsibility for my health " ,

yaddah,

> yaddah, yaddah... I was really ticked off. She knows what I've

been through in

> the past few months (father terminal, sister-in-law battling

cancer, hubby had

> surgery to remove half his thyroid - thought it was cancer - thank

God it

> wasn't, unmarried daughter met loser and got pregnant, etc....)

Not to whine, but

> there's been a TON of crap happening, and that's only the " big "

stuff, not to

> mention the small, daily annoyances of life.

>

> I was floored by her reaction. Ifelt so condemned and

worthless. Being

> in a depressed state, my first thought was " I should kill myself,

and then

> she'll be sorry for not being supportive. " Don't worry, I'm NOT

suicidal - now!

> But I was really thinking about it a while back. How do you

handle other

> people? Do you tell the people you love? How do you bring it

up? I feel like

> I'm hiding something, but I can't handle reactions like that of my

friend. I

> need SUPPORT now - not CONDEMNATION. Thanks for your replies.

>

>

> ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

<<<< <cybellarain2004@y...> writes.. I tell them Unless they've Walked in My

shoes and havethe Nightmares , flashbacks , anxiety attacks & depression then

they should keep their views to themselves....>>>>

Thanks for sharing. I am also a survivor a sexual abuse, and people who have

not gone through that just don't understand. You know, the old, " get over it

already " . I made a mistake telling this friend. I thought she'd understand,

I was wrong. A lesson learned.

´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

[Guest guest]

,

I want to tell you that I understand how you feel. I've been taking

anti-depressants for atleast 2 years and when people find out they

tend to have mixed reactions... I've Had people who judged me in a

bad way and I've had people tell me I am doing the right thing..

When I come across a person who is entirely negative about it... I

explain to them that My step dad raped me on a weekly basis from

ages 3 till 17 and my Mom sit there and did nothing but take drugs

etc etc.. I tell them Unless they've Walked in My shoes and have

the Nightmares , flashbacks , anxiety attacks & depression then they

should keep their views to themselves.

People who really care about you will not have a problem with it.

You need to do whatever you need to to take care of yourself.

People in my life who know me well know that its definetely for the

best that I take meds or I can be very hard to live with. I have a

hubby & 2 year old daughter and I have to be my very best... And if

that means taking meds to feel normal and function so be-it.

Anxiety, Depression is a medical problem just like diabities etc etc

and has to be treated like a medical problem.

Hope this helps..

> Do your loved ones (family members and friends) know you are

taking

> anti-depressants? I haven't told my family (except my hubby)

yet. Began Lex 2

> weeks ago. I told one friend, who freaked out, and proceeded to

tell me that I

> " copped out " , and " should take more responsibility for my health " ,

yaddah,

> yaddah, yaddah... I was really ticked off. She knows what I've

been through in

> the past few months (father terminal, sister-in-law battling

cancer, hubby had

> surgery to remove half his thyroid - thought it was cancer - thank

God it

> wasn't, unmarried daughter met loser and got pregnant, etc....)

Not to whine, but

> there's been a TON of crap happening, and that's only the " big "

stuff, not to

> mention the small, daily annoyances of life.

>

> I was floored by her reaction. Ifelt so condemned and

worthless. Being

> in a depressed state, my first thought was " I should kill myself,

and then

> she'll be sorry for not being supportive. " Don't worry, I'm NOT

suicidal - now!

> But I was really thinking about it a while back. How do you

handle other

> people? Do you tell the people you love? How do you bring it

up? I feel like

> I'm hiding something, but I can't handle reactions like that of my

friend. I

> need SUPPORT now - not CONDEMNATION. Thanks for your replies.

>

>

> ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello. We are at a big point in our 14 yr old son's life now. We now are aware

that he has AS,

and he knows he has it and is seeming to grasp the idea more and more. Now, do

we need to

take this to his school counselor and his teachers? When we had conferences a

couple of

weeks ago, it was just days after we had learned of this AS thing, and it was

very interesting

to hear his US History teacher (who had no idea our ds has AS) describe him by

saying " While

the other kids in the class are processing 2 + 2, Tyler is already at 3 + 4 +

5 " , and yet he was

very concerned that he had no friends in the class, and wasn't willing to speak

up when he

knew the answers. He even thinks Tyler " dumbs down " his essays to match the

others in the

class. We sat there biting our tongues, wanting Tyler to process this before

others, but when

is a good time, and how, to tell teachers? had mentioned that others can

take it so

wrong and it can have a very negative impact. Our son goes to a small Christian

school, a

real advantage for him. Please help me to delicately introduce this to his

world.

Janet

[Guest guest]

HI,

My husband did an abilities awareness fair on Asperger's Syndrome. It was a power point presentation for 6th graders that lasted about 45 minutes. It went very well. I would recommend it. No one needs to know it is your son who has AS- they can just know that it is ability awareness of Asperger's Syndrome. My son is very sensitive to his Aspergers. He does not want anyone to know unless they have AS too. Then it is okay for them to know because they are just like him.

There are also some good videos that introduce Asperger's to the classroom. I can get you the names of them if you are interested or I can get you a copy of my husband's presentation although a lot of it is in his head. Where do you live? If you are in MO or IL or KS or IA or AR or somewhere else close, my husband, would come to your school if you want. I don't think he would mind. He loves our kids (we have a 10 year old with AS)

I think it would benefit for the teachers to know. Your child does not need to know that the teachers know. The reason it helps is that if he needs a sensory break or if he needs to do some occupational therapy or if he needs to go into a dark room to calm himself or if he is just anxious and needs to take a walk, they will understand better and be able to assist. Especially at a Christian School. I think they are more understanding.

Good luck. Please visit our website www.stlaspergers.org if you would like further information on AS or e mail me with any questions and I will try to help.

Shauna Craig

Saint Louis Asperger's Syndrome Support Network

www.stlaspergers.org

( ) Telling Others

Hello. We are at a big point in our 14 yr old son's life now. We now are aware that he has AS, and he knows he has it and is seeming to grasp the idea more and more. Now, do we need to take this to his school counselor and his teachers? When we had conferences a couple of weeks ago, it was just days after we had learned of this AS thing, and it was very interesting to hear his US History teacher (who had no idea our ds has AS) describe him by saying "While the other kids in the class are processing 2 + 2, Tyler is already at 3 + 4 + 5", and yet he was very concerned that he had no friends in the class, and wasn't willing to speak up when he knew the answers. He even thinks Tyler "dumbs down" his essays to match the others in the class. We sat there biting our tongues, wanting Tyler to process this before others, but when is a good time, and how, to tell teachers? had mentioned that others can take it so

wrong and it can have a very negative impact. Our son goes to a small Christian school, a real advantage for him. Please help me to delicately introduce this to his world.Janet

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Shanna,

Hi, this is Jan. My son was just dx as AS....before

it was ADHD and then PDD. Anyways, I work in the

school district he goes to in the Poconos in PA. If

you could give me a list of good videos we could watch

at home and for teachers I would truly appreciate it.

A lot of the teachers, including the Asst. Principal,

don't know anything about aspergers. I would love to

share the videos with them. I am going to a

conference/seminar in April and will share that

information with the others.

My son is picked on and teased mainly on the bus. So,

we decided to move him to a smaller bus which will

start on Tuesday when we come back from vacation. None

of the kids knew. But, then the bus driver announce,

so DR when are you starting on the new bus, what

school are you going to? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh! Now of

course they all bugged him till he told them. I am

angry, angry that the bus drivers have no

understanding of our children and consider them " bad " .

In fact, she told me all he (my son) needs is a good

swift kick in the butt! Then she told a nosy mom down

the street why he was sitting in the front sit.

Great....the neighbor now has more gossip to spread! I

am so TIrED of everyone assuming or judging my son as

a " DELINQUENT " . It is sad to say...but I am beginning

to see how the kids get to the point that they bring

guns to school! I work in the high school, my son goes

to the middle school on the other campus. I see how

cruel the kids have become and what language they use.

It is so sad! But, I am really tired of my neighbors

or teachers who bunch all the kids into one

group... " bad kids " !

Jan

P.S. any video list would be appreciated! I will share

it with the Supervisor of Sp.Ed.

--- Craig <stlaspergers@...> wrote:

> HI,

> My husband did an abilities awareness fair on

> Asperger's Syndrome. It was a power point

> presentation for 6th graders that lasted about 45

> minutes. It went very well. I would recommend it.

> No one needs to know it is your son who has AS-

> they can just know that it is ability awareness of

> Asperger's Syndrome. My son is very sensitive to his

> Aspergers. He does not want anyone to know unless

> they have AS too. Then it is okay for them to know

> because they are just like him.

>

> There are also some good videos that introduce

> Asperger's to the classroom. I can get you the

> names of them if you are interested or I can get you

> a copy of my husband's presentation although a lot

> of it is in his head. Where do you live? If you

> are in MO or IL or KS or IA or AR or somewhere else

> close, my husband, would come to your school

> if you want. I don't think he would mind. He loves

> our kids (we have a 10 year old with AS)

>

> I think it would benefit for the teachers to know.

> Your child does not need to know that the teachers

> know. The reason it helps is that if he needs a

> sensory break or if he needs to do some occupational

> therapy or if he needs to go into a dark room to

> calm himself or if he is just anxious and needs to

> take a walk, they will understand better and be able

> to assist. Especially at a Christian School. I

> think they are more understanding.

>

> Good luck. Please visit our website

> www.stlaspergers.org if you would like further

> information on AS or e mail me with any questions

> and I will try to help.

>

> Shauna Craig

> Saint Louis Asperger's Syndrome Support Network

> www.stlaspergers.org

>

>

> ( ) Telling Others

>

> Hello. We are at a big point in our 14 yr old son's

> life now. We now are aware that he has AS,

> and he knows he has it and is seeming to grasp the

> idea more and more. Now, do we need to

> take this to his school counselor and his teachers?

> When we had conferences a couple of

> weeks ago, it was just days after we had learned of

> this AS thing, and it was very interesting

> to hear his US History teacher (who had no idea our

> ds has AS) describe him by saying " While

> the other kids in the class are processing 2 + 2,

> Tyler is already at 3 + 4 + 5 " , and yet he was

> very concerned that he had no friends in the class,

> and wasn't willing to speak up when he

> knew the answers. He even thinks Tyler " dumbs down "

> his essays to match the others in the

> class. We sat there biting our tongues, wanting

> Tyler to process this before others, but when

> is a good time, and how, to tell teachers?

> had mentioned that others can take it so

> wrong and it can have a very negative impact. Our

> son goes to a small Christian school, a

> real advantage for him. Please help me to delicately

> introduce this to his world.

> Janet

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>

>

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

Tony Attwood has really great conferences. I think he has some on video. http://www.mapleleafcenter.com/ is one place to get them. Just put Attwood into the search box at this link.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Telling Others> > Hello. We are at a big point in our 14 yr old son's> life now. We now are aware that he has AS, > and he knows he has it and is seeming to grasp the> idea more and more. Now, do we need to > take this to his school counselor and his teachers?> When we had conferences a couple of > weeks ago, it was just days after we had learned of> this AS thing, and it was very interesting > to hear his US History teacher (who had no idea our> ds has AS) describe him by saying "While > the other kids in the class are processing 2 + 2,> Tyler is already at 3 + 4 + 5", and yet he was > very concerned that he had no friends in the class,> and wasn't willing to speak up when he > knew the answers. He even thinks Tyler "dumbs down"> his essays to match the others in the > class. We sat there biting our tongues, wanting> Tyler to process this before others, but when > is a good time, and how, to tell teachers? > had mentioned that others can take it so > wrong and it can have a very negative impact. Our> son goes to a small Christian school, a > real advantage for him. Please help me to delicately> introduce this to his world.> Janet> > > > > > >__________________________________________________________> Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. >http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ> > Janice RushenMom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board ArtistNanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,Student, Believer, and Giver.__________________________________________________________Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ