Re: Guardianship

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Sherry for your kind words. Some of my friends back in NM with DS kids found out much later after their child's 18th birthday that they needed to have full guardianship of their adult child. The longer they let it go, the worse things got because the parent didn't have a say so and there are those who step in to give the parent as much grief as they can. So, thanks for mentioning what you did about the ordeal for that one mother. That is only the beginning of grief for parents who don't need it. I strongly advise, as I stated before, for parents to have full guardianship as well as conservatorship to keep someone from taking advantage of your child and their monies. Once they become of age, look out. Your Doctor can write a statement that you will need to get the guardianship. Anyway, spare youself the nightmare and you already have things in motion and I salute you! God bless and thanks again for writing me back. If what we have been through with my son can help anyone to be spared of the same nightmare, well, I will do whatever I can.gldcst <gldcst@...> wrote: Dear Trish, Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Andy. He sounds like a great guy!! And thanks for the emphasis on getting custody as we will soon be dealing with that issue. is 17 and I'm just learning that I need to

establish guardianship in December (the month before her 18th birthday) or I am in for big trouble. Perhaps this would be different for a very high functioning child...I think you can establish partial guardianship or something, not clear on that...but with who is virtually nonverbal and in many ways still a toddler mentally we need to establish full guardianship. One of my friends let this slide and she ended up at a hospital appointment with her 18 yo daughter who is autistic and the doctors would not let Mom into the examining room. They finally allowed her in after her daughter told them that Pat Sajak was president but it gave her the push she needed to get the legal work done. I am sooooo happy you are here and sharing with us. We really need you! Sherry mom to DS/Autism in Florida.

[Guest guest]

I had an interesting experience with Medicaid. When I called about my 8 year old daughter's account, they told me I was not listed on the account and because of privacy they would not speak to me!! I asked if they would like to speak to my child about the matter. They said they are not allowed to speak to minors! This person offered no resolution, acting like this was a normal situation. I did chain up until I got the problem fixed, but what a picture of burocracy!

ette

-------------- Original message from Trish <andy2trish@...>: --------------

Thanks so much Sherry for your kind words. Some of my friends back in NM with DS kids found out much later after their child's 18th birthday that they needed to have full guardianship of their adult child. The longer they let it go, the worse things got because the parent didn't have a say so and there are those who step in to give the parent as much grief as they can. So, thanks for mentioning what you did about the ordeal for that one mother. That is only the beginning of grief for parents who don't need it. I strongly advise, as I stated before, for parents to have full guardianship as well as conservatorship to keep someone from taking advantage of your child and their monies. Once they become of age, look out. Your Doctor can write a statement that you will need to get the guardianship. Anyway, spare youself the nightmare and you already have things in motion and I salute you!

God bless and thanks again for writing me back. If what we have been through with my son can help anyone to be spared of the same nightmare, well, I will do whatever I can.gldcst <gldcst@...> wrote:

Dear Trish,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Andy. He sounds like a great guy!! And thanks for the emphasis on getting custody as we will soon be dealing with that issue. is 17 and I'm just learning that I need to establish guardianship in December (the month before her 18th birthday) or I am in for big trouble. Perhaps this would be different for a very high functioning child...I think you can establish partial guardianship or something, not clear on that...but with who is virtually nonverbal and in many ways still a toddler mentally we need to establish full guardianship. One of my friends let this slide and she ended up at a hospital appointment with her 18 yo daughter who is autistic and the doctors would not let Mom into the examining room. They finally allowed her in after her daughter told them that Pat Sajak was president but it gave her the push she needed to get the legal work done.

I am sooooo happy you are here and sharing with us. We really need you!

Sherry mom to DS/Autism in Florida.

[Guest guest]

Legally, you are your childs legal guardian, therefor entitled to the info. YOu had someone who was clueless. Until your child is 18, you are legally responsible. I would have asked for a supervisor who had a clue. Which you did.

The problem is, the person answering that phone might have no clue... They just answer the phone. Oh for the days where they actually trained folks.......

Hugs,

-- Re: Re: Guardianship

I had an interesting experience with Medicaid. When I called about my 8 year old daughter's account, they told me I was not listed on the account and because of privacy they would not speak to me!! I asked if they would like to speak to my child about the matter. They said they are not allowed to speak to minors! This person offered no resolution, acting like this was a normal situation. I did chain up until I got the problem fixed, but what a picture of burocracy!

ette

-------------- Original message from Trish <andy2trish@...>: --------------

Thanks so much Sherry for your kind words. Some of my friends back in NM with DS kids found out much later after their child's 18th birthday that they needed to have full guardianship of their adult child. The longer they let it go, the worse things got because the parent didn't have a say so and there are those who step in to give the parent as much grief as they can. So, thanks for mentioning what you did about the ordeal for that one mother. That is only the beginning of grief for parents who don't need it. I strongly advise, as I stated before, for parents to have full guardianship as well as conservatorship to keep someone from taking advantage of your child and their monies. Once they become of age, look out. Your Doctor can write a statement that you will need to get the guardianship. Anyway, spare youself the nightmare and you already have things in motion and I salute you!

God bless and thanks again for writing me back. If what we have been through with my son can help anyone to be spared of the same nightmare, well, I will do whatever I can.gldcst <gldcst@...> wrote:

Dear Trish,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Andy. He sounds like a great guy!! And thanks for the emphasis on getting custody as we will soon be dealing with that issue. is 17 and I'm just learning that I need to establish guardianship in December (the month before her 18th birthday) or I am in for big trouble. Perhaps this would be different for a very high functioning child...I think you can establish partial guardianship or something, not clear on that...but with who is virtually nonverbal and in many ways still a toddler mentally we need to establish full guardianship. One of my friends let this slide and she ended up at a hospital appointment with her 18 yo daughter who is autistic and the doctors would not let Mom into the examining room. They finally allowed her in after her daughter told them that Pat Sajak was president but it gave her the push she needed to get the legal work done.

I am sooooo happy you are here and sharing with us. We really need you!

Sherry mom to DS/Autism in Florida.

[Guest guest]

Goodmorning Sherry! Yes, there are the different types of guardianship and our attorney just had to take one look at my son to see he has DS along with the Drs. statement that Andy cannot ever live on his own, etc. to see that we needed the full guardianship which my husband and I share. I asked my husband how much we paid way back when in NM and he said he thought it was $600 for us and $100 for my son's Attorney At Liatum (however it is spelled). We had our gurardianship blocked by some unscrupulous people at the Group Home because they wanted control of my son. Well, we have had to do a lot of fighting for our own son. A total nightmare for us and just for all other parents, spare yourselves and get the guardianship to prevent others from doing things with your child that isn't right. A lot of people out there trying to figure out how to get some easy money and our kids are prime targets unless the parent moves in and makes sure no

one can take advantage of our sweethearts. I have a friend in NM whose son has DS and lives in a group home. My friend finally listened because of all the garbage whe was going through and became her son's legal guardian and legal conservator to keep the theives from robbing her son! Well, I am off to Plymouth to my eldest daughters for Andy's tutoring. He is reading so well now! It is so exciting for him, he loves reading more and more stories. His sister is a Godsend! I have to say, both of his sisters are. They are very special young women that I have the joy of being their mother and Andy's. Well, we all know what a special kind of joy our DS kids are. The world has no idea just how blessed we are to have these little angels from the Lord in our lives. He picked us to be the parents of our sweeties to love and enjoy and see a little piece of Heaven in their happy faces. We have sure learned things we wouldn't have, the Lord

has taught us over and over to take time to not only smell the roses in life but to let the world see our DS kids are not thorns in our lives but just a sweetness only some of us have the joy of knowing. God bless each and everyone of you as you walk hand and hand with your precious Ones who are from God's Hand to us. I know how the road can get trying but the Lord has always been there for us to keep us standing proud and strong. He has brought us through so many hurdles for a reason. My Son has been through a lot but he is such a good guy who loves the Lord with all his heart. He always tells us how much he loves Jesus and when he is self talking, he tells us he is talking to Jesus! Wow! God Bless you Sherry, and I am happy to help in any way I can to spare other parents from treading through the troubled waters we have. Have a super terrific day! Trish gldcst

<gldcst@...> wrote: Wow Trish, thanks for the info on the guardianship. On another list where most of the kids are coming up on 18 they were talking about 2 different types of guardianship...one of which would lose your child's right to vote etc. I'm sure you're way ahead of us with this game so this is great information. I'll pass it along. So Andy can have you as his legal guardians and still be able to vote? Do they ask any questions about mental competency when you apply for guardianship? You say you need a

doctor's letter? Shoot, I've got so much to learn. Glad you're here. Sherry

[Guest guest]

Somehow, my response got lost.

I'm in Du Page County. This link:

http://www.dupageco.org/generic.cfm?doc_id=1723

lists all the court forms. I downloaded and filled out the following

forms:

Letters of Office - Guardian of a Disabled Person

Report of a Physician

Petition for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled Person

Summons for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled Person (yep, had

to have the sheriff give my Angel a summons)

Oath of Office Probate

Bond of Legal Representative - No Surety (this form I didn't know

about and we had to fill it out at the court house)

Order Appointing Plenary Guardian for a Disabled Person

Since my husband and I were both seeking guardianship, I filled out

forms for each of us and signed our name as attorney pro se.

In DuPage County, guardianship is in court room 2009, Judge Popejoy.

Judge Popejoy and his staff are extremely helpful and nice.

This website may also help:

http://gac.state.il.us//guardfaq.html#top

> We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , it's nice to see a familiar name, I used to work for Ken Popejoy before he became a Judge!! He is a very nice man :-) Take care, cmfinato <CMFinato@...> wrote: Somehow, my response got lost.I'm in Du Page County. This link:http://www.dupageco.org/generic.cfm?doc_id=1723lists all the court forms. I downloaded and filled out the following forms:Letters of Office -

Guardian of a Disabled PersonReport of a PhysicianPetition for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled PersonSummons for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled Person (yep, had to have the sheriff give my Angel a summons)Oath of Office ProbateBond of Legal Representative - No Surety (this form I didn't know about and we had to fill it out at the court house)Order Appointing Plenary Guardian for a Disabled PersonSince my husband and I were both seeking guardianship, I filled out forms for each of us and signed our name as attorney pro se.In DuPage County, guardianship is in court room 2009, Judge Popejoy. Judge Popejoy and his staff are extremely helpful and nice.This website may also help:http://gac.state.il.us//guardfaq.html#top--- In IPADDUnite , Patt <pattcatt@...> wrote:>> ,> Can I ask how you do it yourself?> > Thanks,> Patt> > cmfinato <CMFinato@...> wrote: > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work > >

[Guest guest]

Great info for our members in Du Page County...thank you.

Keep in mind, each county is slightly different.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

Re: Guardianship

Somehow, my response got lost.I'm in Du Page County. This link:http://www.dupageco.org/generic.cfm?doc_id=1723lists all the court forms. I downloaded and filled out the following forms:Letters of Office - Guardian of a Disabled PersonReport of a PhysicianPetition for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled PersonSummons for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled Person (yep, had to have the sheriff give my Angel a summons)Oath of Office ProbateBond of Legal Representative - No Surety (this form I didn't know about and we had to fill it out at the court house)Order Appointing Plenary Guardian for a Disabled PersonSince my husband and I were both seeking guardianship, I filled out forms for each of us and signed our name as attorney pro se.In DuPage County, guardianship is in court room 2009, Judge Popejoy. Judge Popejoy and his staff are extremely helpful and nice.This website may also help:http://gac.state.il.us//guardfaq.html#top--- In IPADDUnite , Patt <pattcatt@...> wrote:>> ,> Can I ask how you do it yourself?> > Thanks,> Patt> > cmfinato <CMFinato@...> wrote: > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work > >

[Guest guest]

:

I hope you don't mind, but I took your information and put it into our IPADDU file on guardianship.

Thanks again for the great information.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

Re: Guardianship

Somehow, my response got lost.I'm in Du Page County. This link:http://www.dupageco.org/generic.cfm?doc_id=1723lists all the court forms. I downloaded and filled out the following forms:Letters of Office - Guardian of a Disabled PersonReport of a PhysicianPetition for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled PersonSummons for Appointment of Guardianship for Disabled Person (yep, had to have the sheriff give my Angel a summons)Oath of Office ProbateBond of Legal Representative - No Surety (this form I didn't know about and we had to fill it out at the court house)Order Appointing Plenary Guardian for a Disabled PersonSince my husband and I were both seeking guardianship, I filled out forms for each of us and signed our name as attorney pro se.In DuPage County, guardianship is in court room 2009, Judge Popejoy. Judge Popejoy and his staff are extremely helpful and nice.This website may also help:http://gac.state.il.us//guardfaq.html#top--- In IPADDUnite , Patt <pattcatt@...> wrote:>> ,> Can I ask how you do it yourself?> > Thanks,> Patt> > cmfinato <CMFinato@...> wrote: > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work > >

[Guest guest]

No problem, Ellen. I'm glad to be able to help. I spent a lot of

time researching and only missed one form. I suggest to anyone who

does it on their own in DuPage to remember this: The Sheriff

require's a two week notice to serve a summons so make sure your

court date is at least two weeks in the future or you have to make

another trip to the court house.

> > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

, I was so impressed with the patience he showed the families

that filed pro se.

> > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, ...I will add the addendum and also, I had forgotten to credit you for the information!

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

Re: Guardianship

No problem, Ellen. I'm glad to be able to help. I spent a lot of time researching and only missed one form. I suggest to anyone who does it on their own in DuPage to remember this: The Sheriff require's a two week notice to serve a summons so make sure your court date is at least two weeks in the future or you have to make another trip to the court house. > > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Hi , Ken is a wonderful father so I'm not suprised :-) Great man!! And good for you for taking things into your own hands, I'm very impressed. Have a great day! cmfinato <CMFinato@...> wrote: , I was so impressed with the patience he showed the families that filed pro se. > > We didn't use a lawyer for guardianship, I did all the leg work

> > > >>

[Guest guest]

This link will take you to the information for Lake County. The

pamplet you can down load is excellent and all the forms are there.

http://www.co.lake.il.us/circlk/probate.asp

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

I will add this to the IPADDU files on guardianship.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

Re: Guardianship

This link will take you to the information for Lake County. The pamplet you can down load is excellent and all the forms are there.http://www.co.lake.il.us/circlk/probate.asp

[Guest guest]

My brother has High Functioning Autism, very similar to Aspergers. He is his own guardian and has done fine with that. My husband is his health care power of attorney which takes care of HIPPA problems and my sister is his rep payeee for SS. This seems to work and is much less burdensome than guardianship. I know this because my sister is also the guardian of my other two brothers with intellectual disabilities. Hope this helps. Nora

In a message dated 4/20/2007 9:20:26 A.M. Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes:

A friend of mine is in the throes of indecision regarding guardianship for her almost 18 year old son who has aspergers. He is high functioning and will be going away to college or junior college most likely this fall. What have others in similar circumstances done in regard to guardianship?Thanks.Ellen

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Nora.

I will pass this on to my friend.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

Re: Guardianship

My brother has High Functioning Autism, very similar to Aspergers. He is his own guardian and has done fine with that. My husband is his health care power of attorney which takes care of HIPPA problems and my sister is his rep payeee for SS. This seems to work and is much less burdensome than guardianship. I know this because my sister is also the guardian of my other two brothers with intellectual disabilities. Hope this helps. Nora

In a message dated 4/20/2007 9:20:26 A.M. Central Daylight Time, egskbsbcglobal (DOT) net writes:

A friend of mine is in the throes of indecision regarding guardianship for her almost 18 year old son who has aspergers. He is high functioning and will be going away to college or junior college most likely this fall. What have others in similar circumstances done in regard to guardianship?Thanks.Ellen

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, .

This is very helpful.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeldegskb@...

guardianship

I would simpy do a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. Both of my children have one..... If she is concerned about financial fraud then she can simply get a limited guardianship for the estate....or a credit card with a limit also wroks..... cathyfickerterrill@... Ficker Terrill683 Prospect AvenueELmhurst, Illinois 60126__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- Lew <lisamlew@...> wrote:

> Great point about not EVERYONE needing a guardian.

> There are certainly

> alternatives to guardianship.

>

> If you choose to pursue guardianship, you also do

> not NEED to use an

> attorney. The county clerks office can usually

> supply you with the forms and

> instructions that are necessary and you can do it

> yourself. Check their

> website for instructions.

>

> --

> Lew, Service Facilitator

> Clearbrook

> lisamlew@...

> phone/fax 847-681-1357

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

[Guest guest]

Certainly, I agree that ALL people with disabilities do NOT need guardians.

However, those

individuals with SEVERE cognitive/behavioral involvement typically do. For

example,

there's no way that I'd turn to ashes without having guardianship for Luke.

As has been said: ya gotta look at each person individually and make what you

hope is the

right decision.

Ron

>

> Great point about not EVERYONE needing a guardian. There are certainly

> alternatives to guardianship.

>

> If you choose to pursue guardianship, you also do not NEED to use an

> attorney. The county clerks office can usually supply you with the forms and

> instructions that are necessary and you can do it yourself. Check their

> website for instructions.

>

> --

> Lew, Service Facilitator

> Clearbrook

> lisamlew@...

> phone/fax 847-681-1357

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

 Hello Everyone,

I recall several posts regarding Guardianship. Pro and cons of guardianship and

necessity of a lawyer or not. As we are about to embark on this quest for or

son, I was wondering if anyone has had experience with Chicago Volunteer Legal

Services Foundation? They were recommended to me by Children's Memorial

Hospital.

Thanks,

Thais

[Guest guest]

Thais, I have no experience with them. We did go see a lawyer last week and

after talking to him we are only seeking guardianship for his medical. This was

our choice and you have to evaluate your child. We also are setting up Wills

and a special needs trust. Good luck. Shirley

fpalluau@... wrote: Hello Everyone,

I recall several posts regarding Guardianship. Pro and cons of guardianship and

necessity of a lawyer or not. As we are about to embark on this quest for or

son, I was wondering if anyone has had experience with Chicago Volunteer Legal

Services Foundation? They were recommended to me by Children's Memorial

Hospital.

Thanks,

Thais

[Guest guest]

Roxanna – I think one of my biggest

worries is that he will get taken advantage of. I have already seen some

of that, e.g., if he goes somewhere with a friend and they want something and

don’t have enough money or have no money, he will give them what they

need or buy it for them. While I know how truly kindhearted and generous

he is, I think we have to teach him how to understand when he is being taken

advantage of. This has been a real struggle as due to his social immaturity

or whatever you want to call it he truly doesn’t realize that people,

including people he considers friends, would take unfair advantage of

him. He is so naïve in so many ways! And, as my husband says,

he truly doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Unfortunately, there

are many people out in the real world who are mean and would take advantage of

him if possible.

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Monday, August 04, 2008 3:41

PM

To:

Subject: ( )

Guardianship

,

I think we got the same line from the

lawyer regarding guardianship - no need to do that. The lawyer had the

idea that we should just wait and see how things go because we have/had no idea

how independent he will become still. And then, because he still relies

on us, he seemed to feel there was no need since he will certainly ask us

before doing anything major. Still, I am hugely concerned about so many

things and of course, the chance that sometime he would be taken advantage of

without us there to stop it. Since he is not very social, this is not as

likely as it might be for some people. But even the medical and

educational aspects - these people look at us (mostly me, as the mother) as if

we are interfering and they are just humoring me by letting me participate.

At the last IEP meeting, they said four times that my signature was " not

necessary. " I wanted to tell them to get a grip because my kid would

not sign until he saw that I had signed. And I am a participant. I

think they got all excited that now he is past 18 and they could " get rid

of the evil parent. " lol. lol. Or, hey, maybe that was

just my imagination? lol.

Anyway, great topic and I agree I would

like to hear more about it! Any lawyers out there with information or

anyone with good links or experience?

Roxanna

You're Unique

Just like everyone else...

( ) Re: new member intro/

Roxanna,

I am so right there with you. The coordinator for the parent

support group at our school insisted that we had to avoid complaining

about the school's IEP process and focus on positive things. It was

just worthless to me, so I quit going.

I really do envy people who have children who have AS the way my

husband has AS. He meets the diagnostic criteria, but it's mild.

Mild enough that he has a Ph.D., a job he loves, and a family with a

wife and five kids. If my son (who's 17 now) looked to be on track

for all of that, I'd be so happy.

Unfortunately, my son's therapist recently warned me that sending him

to college is unlikely to work out. She says she's seen numerous

children/young adults with his degree of impairment crash and burn

when they have to take on the degree of personal autonomy that college

demands.

And just three days ago my son's psychiatrist advised me to start

investigating establishing a guardianship for him once he's 18. I

must have looked stunned. I mean, I know he has a lot of trouble with

various things, but he's also very bright, and all these years I've

been hoping that I'd be able to make things work out for him. His

psychiatrist asked me if I thought he could take care of himself in

the world any time soon, and I have to admit that there's no way he's

going to be ready for that--maybe never. She says if that's the case,

we need to arrange things legally so that we can take care of him.

Sigh. Just writing about it makes me tear up. It's like have a child

with AS is one long series of disappointments and adjustments for me.

I make all these sunshiny plans for how I'm going to get him to

independence, and one after another they wind up being pipe dreams. I

*need* somebody to understand how that feels and to help me cope with

it and figure out how to unravel the complex issues you face when it

looks like your child *isn't* going to be OK in the end. It's just

depressing.

Sue C.

On Aug 4, 2008, at 7:35 AM, Roxanna wrote:

<snip>

I later realized that the people who had real and serious problems

with their kids and autism did not come to the meetings any longer,

had stopped coming or never come at all. It was really only the people

who had raised their kids and their kids had done well or had kids

with more minor problems who came and had fun chatting. They thought I

was a wet blanket and I thought they were in need of a real problem in

life.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1589 - Release Date: 8/3/2008 1:00 PM

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1590 - Release Date: 8/4/2008 8:09 AM

[Guest guest]

Our son tipped the pizza delivery guy $20 when he ordered a pizza

while we were out. Laughing and crying!

Sue

> <snip>

> I later realized that the people who had real and serious problems

> with their kids and autism did not come to the meetings any longer,

> had stopped coming or never come at all. It was really only the

people

> who had raised their kids and their kids had done well or had kids

> with more minor problems who came and had fun chatting. They

thought I

> was a wet blanket and I thought they were in need of a real problem

in

> life.

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1589 - Release Date:

8/3/2008

> 1:00 PM

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1590 - Release Date:

8/4/2008

> 8:09 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I totally am with you on that. I worry about that a lot, too. My older ds shuts down when he is around people he does not know well so that is the only reason I feel he would hold his own - just because he would not offer them anything. He would just look at the ground and ignore them until they went away. My younger ds (11 yo, hfa) is the one who will be taken advantage of more often and he already does get that from neighbor kids. He has the kindest heart and believes that the other kids are what they say they are. I just keep hoping he does better when he is older or it will be a big big problem after age 18.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Re: new member intro/

Roxanna, I am so right there with you. The coordinator for the parent support group at our school insisted that we had to avoid complaining about the school's IEP process and focus on positive things. It was just worthless to me, so I quit going.I really do envy people who have children who have AS the way my husband has AS. He meets the diagnostic criteria, but it's mild. Mild enough that he has a Ph.D., a job he loves, and a family with a wife and five kids. If my son (who's 17 now) looked to be on track for all of that, I'd be so happy.Unfortunately, my son's therapist recently warned me that sending him to college is unlikely to work out. She says she's seen numerous children/young adults with his degree of impairment crash and burn when they have to take on the degree of personal autonomy that college demands.And just three days ago my son's psychiatrist advised me to start investigating establishing a guardianship for him once he's 18. I must have looked stunned. I mean, I know he has a lot of trouble with various things, but he's also very bright, and all these years I've been hoping that I'd be able to make things work out for him. His psychiatrist asked me if I thought he could take care of himself in the world any time soon, and I have to admit that there's no way he's going to be ready for that--maybe never. She says if that's the case, we need to arrange things legally so that we can take care of him.Sigh. Just writing about it makes me tear up. It's like have a child with AS is one long series of disappointments and adjustments for me. I make all these sunshiny plans for how I'm going to get him to independence, and one after another they wind up being pipe dreams. I *need* somebody to understand how that feels and to help me cope with it and figure out how to unravel the complex issues you face when it looks like your child *isn't* going to be OK in the end. It's just depressing.Sue C.On Aug 4, 2008, at 7:35 AM, Roxanna wrote:<snip>I later realized that the people who had real and serious problems with their kids and autism did not come to the meetings any longer, had stopped coming or never come at all. It was really only the people who had raised their kids and their kids had done well or had kids with more minor problems who came and had fun chatting. They thought I was a wet blanket and I thought they were in need of a real problem in life.No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1589 - Release Date: 8/3/2008 1:00 PMNo virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1590 - Release Date: 8/4/2008 8:09 AM

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[Guest guest]

Oh how I hear you....my son thinks everyone is his friend and he would give them anything of his...he is good hearted. Sometimes I see kids using him...and I had to put my foot down on him giving his stuff away or letting kids borrow things. My son also does things other kids tell him to....like when a classmate told him to go over to S and tell S to pants W. Instead of my son say...you do it if that is what you want...no he does what the other kids says and when S says okay I will do it for $2.00 ....my son gives him $2. Ughhhhhhh! And, guess who ended up in the principal's office. And, guess who did not tell the whole truth...my son....why 1. he is intimidated 2. he doesn't want to get his friend in trouble becuase the kid won't like him any more. UGH...Double UGH.

I saw this at the Votech I attended with my student. They used to outright tease this boy...I have no idea what his DX was ...but I was disgusted by it all. They would tell this boy ® oh, sos and so thinks you're cute and wants to go out with you. he would believe them and go over and sit with the girls and they would taunt him.

I put an end to it. My student got embarrassed ...said it was none of our business...and I told him yes it was...I was not going to sit there and see these kids make a fool out of R. The would laugh behind his back and all kinds of things. Let me tell you...I gave them all an ear full. Kids today are cruel....not all...but I see it a lot in the high school...they are disrespectful, rude, cruel to each other and down right ignorant. Now I am not saying all the kids...but let me tell you there is quite a handful.

Another student I worry about is a girl...she is so naive...now her parents are very protective of her and she has a TSS in school but she could never make it on her own and she would definitely be taken advantage of ....especially sexually. It is frightening out there. And I do worry for all the kids including mine.

Jan

Janice Rushen

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<snip>I later realized that the people who had real and serious problems with their kids and autism did not come to the meetings any longer, had stopped coming or never come at all. It was really only the people who had raised their kids and their kids had done well or had kids with more minor problems who came and had fun chatting. They thought I was a wet blanket and I thought they were in need of a real problem in life.No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG -

http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1589 - Release Date: 8/3/2008 1:00 PMNo virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1590 - Release Date: 8/4/2008 8:09 AM

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1590 - Release Date: 8/4/2008 8:09 AM