Secondary school - how to get along with teachers

[Guest guest]

Everybody, I always end up alienating my sons teachers. I try different

strategies every year, and it always turns to mud. It is always something

different, although usually related to me being one of those bad parents. How

does one not get put into that bag?

My son doesn't have an IEP, so this is all general ed teachers with no training

in autism. So, I'm put in this position of forever having to try to explain

what my son needs. They ALWAYS take this as my never being happy with anything,

being unreasonable, being a helicopter parent, being a parent who does nothing,

just wanting my kid to get special help so he can get better grades, being a

parent who doesn't care--I know all of you with kids in public school have heard

it all too! Last year when I tried to describe my son's outbursts about

homework, how what happened at school led to that, and my intervention methods

(emphasizing how much of our evening this was taking up and how long it was

taking him to get just simple assignments done)--somehow they twisted this

around to my being an abusive parent!?

All this year, all of my son's teachers have been blatantly not following my

son's 504 Plan. So, what do they expect me to do? When I have asked the 504

coordinator about it, he asks the teachers if they are following it, they say

" yes " . And that is all he has to say about it. Yep, real energetic guy there.

Don't worry, I've kept pushing LOL. Anyway, so all these teachers are mad at ME

because they are not following this 504 plan and I constantly complain. They

are shutting down just like our aspie kids shut down.

So, I've been thinking and thinking about how I can avoid this environment of

everybody pointing fingers and nobody wanting to do anything. I figure the

leadership has to come from me; can't see as it is going to come from anybody at

the school.

I have called a meeting for the 504 Team and all core teachers, which will be in

the middle of April (soonest everybody had a clear schedule). My plan is to

just ask questions and try to get their side of the story, for starters.

Anyway, that is all background. What I really want to know is how other people

get along with their kids teachers in jr/sr high school. I think one mistake I

made was not meeting with ALL the teachers at the beginning of the year and

doing what we are going to be doing at our April 504 meeting--going through it

line by line and making sure everybody is on board and make any needed changes.

Then, I guess I need you need to meet again in the middle of the year to make

sure everything is still okay. I'm thinking about automatically requesting ALL

core teachers come to 504 meetings (they had no problem with that--don't know

how the high school will be) and make sure EVERYBODY is happy with everything.

By default, they only have one of the teachers at 504 meetings. She is supposed

to speak for all teachers and spread the word afterwards, but that doesn't

appear to have ever happened after any of our meetings.

We just happened to get our roof fixed (from Hurricane Ike) on the same day they

had parent open house, so I missed that. So, I especially needed to hold a

meeting, I guess. I did send my intro letter, which got a great response,

although said great response didn't last long.

The thought has occurred to me that, if they are gossiping with teachers from

last year, maybe I am still supposed to be an abusive parent? Maybe that is why

they are being so stinky? I have to kinda laugh at that, although I suppose I

shouldn't.

Anyway, please give me your thoughts and advice, BTDT.

Ruth