Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 > > You did not offend me at all...you are probably right about him not being ready...but how do we protect him...he always hangs with the wrong type of kids... Jan, do you have him in a good social skills training group, not necessarily just what they give him at school? IMHO that is how you protect him--you teach him. The very first psych we took our son to emphasized that social skills training should be the root of all his interventions, and I really believe that. He told us that if he doesn't want to go--this is one thing you should exert your parental authority and not let it be a choice, because he NEEDS it. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 I'm no expert (he he) and my oldest is only a month shy of 13, but I guess, just from the crap we've been through with mean "sh*ts",,,,,,,,,,the way you try to protect him is tell him that he's not going here or there. That he's not going to the movies. Ask him if he wants to have someone over? I don't know. This is the age when they are so lucky to have video games and calling someone over to play is "ok" to do when you're a bit older. If he says that someone wants him to go to the movies, you tell him that he's not going because of what has happened in the past and that you need to know the people. Invite them over. Chances are that they won't come......but then again, maybe they will? If he gets mad, just tell him you love him, but that you're not gonna let people NOT treat him the way HE DESERVES. I'd go into how he deserves respect and sadly, sometimes, good people seem to have less friends than others. But,,,,that's ok. Cause when he gets real friends,,,,,they'll treat him right and won't try to mess with him. As far as FaceBook...ugh. I'm backwards (he he), but I don't see why a kid needs to put all his info out there........or an adult for that matter. he he. But, especially a kid. I know it's what they do, but I'd stop it. It's such a fine line, cause you want your kids to be "with it" and get out there and meet people and have fun, but they aren't on the same level. Like it or not. And they're gonna have to deal with the "real world" someday,,,,,,,and that's why we seem to have so many problems, right? But,,,,,,,,as long as our kids are in our house, we have to do what's best for them. And people picking on your kids isn't ok. I dont' care if they are 13 or 4. It's not ok. And if he can't see that and figure it out,,,,,then you have to. Again, whether he's 13 or 4. Add to all of this, the age of your son........and he's confused and in situations that he's not ready for,,,,,maybe? Hugs to you. Robin From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Sad Weekend Date: Sunday, March 29, 2009, 2:00 PM Hi everyone...it has been a great weekend...It all started on Friday...my son was invited to go to the movies at the local theatre ....(not in a mall). So, my husband took him up there and walked inside to make sure the 2 girls were there and left. The girls told my son to go buy his ticket and he did. While he was paying for it....they took off and ran up the street and crossed a 4 lane road and went to Burger King. The sad thing is my son ran after them. When he got to Burger King...they took off on him. He finally went back to the movie theatre and called his dad to pick him up. He was so upset...he called a good friend and he came over and slept over and spent Saturday with him. That day I heard him on the phone and say her name...I told him to hang up...I don't want him hanging out with him or talking to him. How mean can people be.The same Friday night, another girl's mother called and said my son said on MySpace that she was a slut. OMG. We talked and I apologized and said I would talk to my son. We talked. He said he apologized on MySpace to her...he said his friend saw it. Well, this Sunday morning...we talked about it again....he told me that he called her that becuase she hurt his friend...she broke up with him ...and he said she told him she lost her virginity at 10 years old. He said she even called herself that. I tried to explain that even if she said she was...you can write it or call her that. I said it is a fine line...but people can press charges against you for it. I explained it like how the kids were harrassing him about Poppy. Then he said...what about "Freedom of Speech"...wow that amazed me...anyways, I said we do have freedom of speech...but we can go around degrading people or speaking badly of them...even if we know it is true.And, on top of all this at church...one of the minister's asked to sit with us for a few weeks...one of the kids said used a curse word and he thought it would be better for him to sit with us at church. I felt so awful...I just wanted to run out of the church...ughhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhi just want to crawl in bed and not come out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 I think you're exactly right. In 5th grade, son was told by a nasty little boy that if he fought him, he would give him $5. My son agree'd cause he'd do anything for money.........Ian is also very skinny and didnt' like anything physical, so I'm sure that's why the kid did it.....cause it'd be "funny". My son and the other kid "fought" and honestly, Ian did it to get money....so the fighting, I'm told, wasn't 1st class,,,,but Ian did it like the world depended on it. He ended up with an in-school suspension and the kid he hurt, (am I wrong for being glad he hurt the other kid?) lost recess for the rest of the week. Hard to believe, huh? The "principal" said that they would have both lost recess but that because Ian had issues, they could be better addressed in the SPED room and needed to spend time with the SPED teacher and talk about the situation. Needless to say, as happy as I was with the teachers, this "principal" and incident was the beginning of the end of us being in that school. We yanked him out after 5th grade. ***Anyway,,,,I agree, Jill. Other sad, lonely, probably bullied-at-home, kids seek ours out. Yuck. Robin From: Jill Kern <JillBKern@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 6:02 AM Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Good point. Makes sense when you explain it that way. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Jill Kern <JillBKern@...> Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 6:02:03 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 I think you should get to know the kids he wants to hang with before letting him hang alone. It might mean that he can't go to movies and such if you don't have the time to be around. But I would meet these kids first, call their parents just to chat and say "hi". I'm not good at that but my dh is great at it. So he will call up and say, "Hi!, our boys seems to have a plan....blah blah blah" and he can get a feel for things from that conversation. Invite the kids over to play or out to McD's for lunch or whatever might be a "cool" thing to do where you can observe them and get an idea if they are creeps or actually nice kids. One thing I found interesting was at a conference where the speaker (I think it was Lavoie) discussed friendships and kids with AS or ADHD. He explained that our kids can go from 0 to 60 in two seconds...so for instance, they meet someone and that person says one nice thing to him and suddenly he feels this is his best friend. But in real life, we don't make friends that way and we don't make a best friend in one meeting. Anyway, I wouldn't rely on his ability to judge who is a friend and who is not a friend. I agree, I would not let him go alone to these things. If you don't know the kids and their parents, then he can't go or he can go if you hang out at the mall/movie theater and wait on him. Like our movie theater is one parking lot over from a target store. So I could leave him at the movie and tell him to come to target if he has a problem before the movie ends. Of course, he will totally hate that. But the alternative is dangerous for him. And maybe you can chat with him about his experience. See if he can look back and see ways in which these two were not good friends even before they ditched him. Or perhaps he has had no interactions with these two before this? That should be a warning right there. How can we tell if someone is a good friend? Let him know he should "get to know someone" over a period of time before he trusts them. Teach him to notice previous examples of when that person let him down or when that person was a great friend before (proving that he is a good friend vs a bad one.) A lot of this stuff should be taught in his social skill group. But that doesn't mean you can't bring up these things and talk about them or find another person who can do it if he trusts them a lot and will listen. All of these areas of thought and reason are areas that are part of his disability. So he probably isn't thinking these things as he meets and interacts with people. As for church - ugh. Another "sex" reference. Well, you just have to keep telling him that people do not talk outloud about other's - if they are homosexuals, sluts, sexually active, etc. - it's all private information and not for saying outloud or in a group (and especially on myspace). Some kids do joke about these things. But it tends to get HIM in trouble because he doesn't know the right time and ways to say these things. He should start becoming aware that this is a problem he has and learn to not speak about it unless he comes and asks you or his dad about it first. He might come and say, "Joe said....so how come he didn't get in trouble for that?" and you could then explain things like context and the people who are in the group at the time, the place, etc. Now, my ds is 12 yo and any mention of "S-E-X" has him leaving the room and saying, "Well, uhm, I don't want to talk about that." lol. This includes saying someone is "really cute." He got uptight when we recently did the glands of the human body. Eeek. lol. So I kind of have the opposite problem as you in that I have to tell him it's ok to like girls, it's ok to think someone is cute, boyfriends/girlfriends will kiss, yadda yadda. And as for his myspace page, I would have access to it at all times and check it out all the time or else not allow him to have it. And rather than freak out if he has something inappopriate on his my space (not saying you do that, but just in a general sense) you could use these opportunities to discuss what is appropriate and ask him questions like, "What happens when (so and so) sees what you wrote? What might they think? Will they be upset with you?" etc. Hang in there Jan! You are not alone! Roxanna The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan ( ) Sad Weekend Date: Sunday, March 29, 2009, 2:00 PM Hi everyone...it has been a great weekend...It all started on Friday...my son was invited to go to the movies at the local theatre ....(not in a mall). So, my husband took him up there and walked inside to make sure the 2 girls were there and left. The girls told my son to go buy his ticket and he did. While he was paying for it....they took off and ran up the street and crossed a 4 lane road and went to Burger King. The sad thing is my son ran after them. When he got to Burger King...they took off on him. He finally went back to the movie theatre and called his dad to pick him up. He was so upset...he called a good friend and he came over and slept over and spent Saturday with him. That day I heard him on the phone and say her name...I told him to hang up...I don't want him hanging out with him or talking to him. How mean can people be.The same Friday night, another girl's mother called and said my son said on MySpace that she was a slut. OMG. We talked and I apologized and said I would talk to my son. We talked. He said he apologized on MySpace to her...he said his friend saw it. Well, this Sunday morning...we talked about it again....he told me that he called her that becuase she hurt his friend...she broke up with him ...and he said she told him she lost her virginity at 10 years old. He said she even called herself that. I tried to explain that even if she said she was...you can write it or call her that. I said it is a fine line...but people can press charges against you for it. I explained it like how the kids were harrassing him about Poppy. Then he said...what about "Freedom of Speech"...wow that amazed me...anyways, I said we do have freedom of speech...but we can go around degrading people or speaking badly of them...even if we know it is true.And, on top of all this at church...one of the minister's asked to sit with us for a few weeks...one of the kids said used a curse word and he thought it would be better for him to sit with us at church. I felt so awful...I just wanted to run out of the church...ughhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhi just want to crawl in bed and not come out.... No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.31/2028 - Release Date: 03/28/09 07:16:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 He he. My son is like that too, with the "sex" talking and "ladies". he he. He will not listen to stuff. He knows it cause he has to,,,but wants no part in talking about it. he he. He'll leave the room, too. Say, "Ok then...." and wander out. He's also started looking away when someone kisses on tv. I guess this is the "becoming aware of it" time. I think it's adoreable. From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Sad Weekend Date: Sunday, March 29, 2009, 2:00 PM Hi everyone...it has been a great weekend...It all started on Friday...my son was invited to go to the movies at the local theatre ....(not in a mall). So, my husband took him up there and walked inside to make sure the 2 girls were there and left. The girls told my son to go buy his ticket and he did. While he was paying for it....they took off and ran up the street and crossed a 4 lane road and went to Burger King. The sad thing is my son ran after them. When he got to Burger King...they took off on him. He finally went back to the movie theatre and called his dad to pick him up. He was so upset...he called a good friend and he came over and slept over and spent Saturday with him. That day I heard him on the phone and say her name...I told him to hang up...I don't want him hanging out with him or talking to him. How mean can people be.The same Friday night, another girl's mother called and said my son said on MySpace that she was a slut. OMG. We talked and I apologized and said I would talk to my son. We talked. He said he apologized on MySpace to her...he said his friend saw it. Well, this Sunday morning...we talked about it again....he told me that he called her that becuase she hurt his friend...she broke up with him ...and he said she told him she lost her virginity at 10 years old. He said she even called herself that. I tried to explain that even if she said she was...you can write it or call her that. I said it is a fine line...but people can press charges against you for it. I explained it like how the kids were harrassing him about Poppy. Then he said...what about "Freedom of Speech"...wow that amazed me...anyways, I said we do have freedom of speech...but we can go around degrading people or speaking badly of them...even if we know it is true.And, on top of all this at church...one of the minister's asked to sit with us for a few weeks...one of the kids said used a curse word and he thought it would be better for him to sit with us at church. I felt so awful...I just wanted to run out of the church...ughhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhi just want to crawl in bed and not come out.... No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.31/2028 - Release Date: 03/28/09 07:16:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 DH and I were watching American Idol recently with my son (10 years old). He says " She's hot " about one of the contestants. I asked him how he knew she was hot, maybe she is cold, you don't know the tempature. He says: " not hot like that, hot like (catcall whistle). DH and I cracked up! Don't know where he gets this stuff. Vickie > > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com> > Subject: ( ) Sad Weekend > > Date: Sunday, March 29, 2009, 2:00 PM > > > > > Hi everyone...it has been a great weekend... > > It all started on Friday...my son was invited to go to the movies at the local theatre ....(not in a mall). So, my husband took him up there and walked inside to make sure the 2 girls were there and left. The girls told my son to go buy his ticket and he did. While he was paying for it....they took off and ran up the street and crossed a 4 lane road and went to Burger King. The sad thing is my son ran after them. When he got to Burger King...they took off on him. He finally went back to the movie theatre and called his dad to pick him up. > > He was so upset...he called a good friend and he came over and slept over and spent Saturday with him. That day I heard him on the phone and say her name...I told him to hang up...I don't want him hanging out with him or talking to him. How mean can people be. > > The same Friday night, another girl's mother called and said my son said on MySpace that she was a slut. OMG. We talked and I apologized and said I would talk to my son. We talked. He said he apologized on MySpace to her...he said his friend saw it. Well, this Sunday morning...we talked about it again....he told me that he called her that becuase she hurt his friend...she broke up with him ....and he said she told him she lost her virginity at 10 years old. He said she even called herself that. I tried to explain that even if she said she was...you can write it or call her that. I said it is a fine line...but people can press charges against you for it. I explained it like how the kids were harrassing him about Poppy. Then he said...what about " Freedom of Speech " ...wow that amazed me...anyways, I said we do have freedom of speech...but we can go around degrading people or speaking badly of them...even if we know it is true. > > And, on top of all this at church...one of the minister's asked to sit with us for a few weeks...one of the kids said used a curse word and he thought it would be better for him to sit with us at church. I felt so awful...I just wanted to run out of the church...ughhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh > > i just want to crawl in bed and not come out.... > > > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.31/2028 - Release Date: 03/28/09 07:16:00 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 DH and I were watching American Idol recently with my son (10 years old). He says " She's hot " about one of the contestants. I asked him how he knew she was hot, maybe she is cold, you don't know the tempature. He says: " not hot like that, hot like (catcall whistle). DH and I cracked up! Don't know where he gets this stuff. Vickie > > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com> > Subject: ( ) Sad Weekend > > Date: Sunday, March 29, 2009, 2:00 PM > > > > > Hi everyone...it has been a great weekend... > > It all started on Friday...my son was invited to go to the movies at the local theatre ....(not in a mall). So, my husband took him up there and walked inside to make sure the 2 girls were there and left. The girls told my son to go buy his ticket and he did. While he was paying for it....they took off and ran up the street and crossed a 4 lane road and went to Burger King. The sad thing is my son ran after them. When he got to Burger King...they took off on him. He finally went back to the movie theatre and called his dad to pick him up. > > He was so upset...he called a good friend and he came over and slept over and spent Saturday with him. That day I heard him on the phone and say her name...I told him to hang up...I don't want him hanging out with him or talking to him. How mean can people be. > > The same Friday night, another girl's mother called and said my son said on MySpace that she was a slut. OMG. We talked and I apologized and said I would talk to my son. We talked. He said he apologized on MySpace to her...he said his friend saw it. Well, this Sunday morning...we talked about it again....he told me that he called her that becuase she hurt his friend...she broke up with him ....and he said she told him she lost her virginity at 10 years old. He said she even called herself that. I tried to explain that even if she said she was...you can write it or call her that. I said it is a fine line...but people can press charges against you for it. I explained it like how the kids were harrassing him about Poppy. Then he said...what about " Freedom of Speech " ...wow that amazed me...anyways, I said we do have freedom of speech...but we can go around degrading people or speaking badly of them...even if we know it is true. > > And, on top of all this at church...one of the minister's asked to sit with us for a few weeks...one of the kids said used a curse word and he thought it would be better for him to sit with us at church. I felt so awful...I just wanted to run out of the church...ughhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh > > i just want to crawl in bed and not come out.... > > > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.31/2028 - Release Date: 03/28/09 07:16:00 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Oh how true...my son got in trouble all the time for that...one day this boy "B" told my son to go to boy "C" and tell him to pants boy D. So what does my son do....just want the boy said...instead of thinking about it..hey I could get in trouble or if this kids wants this done,,,he should do it. Anyways, the boy C says to my son,,,ok...if you give me $2. So my son gives him $1 and boy B give $1. And, after all this ...guess who got in trouble...my son!!!! But I made sure the school knew the truth. The principle says to my son...why didn't you tell me this yesterday. And, I said, #1. He was afraid and #2. Would you rat out a "friend". Some friend. But this has been happening all his life. I think part of it has to do with his placement in what classes....he is in a lot of pull out...and sometimes the kids there are not the best influence. Second, and most important, I think our children don't have the self -esteem to feel adequate to be friends with the "so called better smarter kids". Another thing is "bad" kids tend to accept anyone...and they see our kids as easy ...easy to pick on and use. And, our kids don't see it and deny it....And, you are so right...if the kid is nice once or comes over once...they are his B.F. My son wants friends so badly...he will take just about anyone. And, he will do just about anything...act like the class clown, try to be cool...whatever just for friendship. How sad. Jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 9:21 AM Good point. Makes sense when you explain it that way. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Jill Kern <JillBKernverizon (DOT) net> Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 6:02:03 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Ruth, what is IMHO? And,no he is not in any social skills group. I don't know of any here in the Poconos. But he does have a TSS, Mobile Therapist and Casemanger. The TSS is taking him to the Y to work out and he really likes that. Jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Sad Weekend Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 7:33 AM >> You did not offend me at all...you are probably right about him not being ready...but how do we protect him...he always hangs with the wrong type of kids...Jan, do you have him in a good social skills training group, not necessarily just what they give him at school? IMHO that is how you protect him--you teach him. The very first psych we took our son to emphasized that social skills training should be the root of all his interventions, and I really believe that. He told us that if he doesn't want to go--this is one thing you should exert your parental authority and not let it be a choice, because he NEEDS it. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 > > Ruth, what is IMHO? And,no he is not in any social skills group. I don't know of any here in the Poconos. But he does have a TSS, Mobile Therapist and Casemanger. The TSS is taking him to the Y to work out and he really likes that. IMHO In My Humble Opinion Regarding the social skills group--it might be worth the hunt and the drive to go to the nearest biggish town once a week or whatever you can manage. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Wow Janice, I think you just described my son. In grade 2, he was shipped off for 8wks to this specialized program. They picked him up in a taxi from our house every morning, and took him (45mins) to this other school. They picked up 4-5 other kids along the way. This program was for “troubled children”, and was a program typically accessed as a “last resort” for the school, when they’d exhausted all their efforts (which was CRAP with that school, I’m so glad he’s no longer there!). Anyway… One of the other children on the taxi told my son to show another child his penis. So he did. And he got into trouble, but the boy who suggested it didn’t. My son was the scapegoat for SO many things. And I always tried hard to make sure teachers/principals knew the truth, and knew that I wasn’t excusing my son’s behavior, but that the WHOLE picture needed to be addressed. Yeah… this all just kept going back to the fact that NO ONE would listen to me about Asperger’s, and wanted ONLY to talk about his “ADHD” and how “impulsive” he was. It just NEVER added up for me So comforting to know I’m not alone… Big (((HUGS))) to you, Jan… I do have one question. The other girls parent called to let you know about the MySpace situation… I have to ask, did you phone their parents about the “Take off on your son at the movies” situation? =) From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janice Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 7:38 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Oh how true...my son got in trouble all the time for that...one day this boy " B " told my son to go to boy " C " and tell him to pants boy D. So what does my son do....just want the boy said...instead of thinking about it..hey I could get in trouble or if this kids wants this done,,,he should do it. Anyways, the boy C says to my son,,,ok...if you give me $2. So my son gives him $1 and boy B give $1. And, after all this ...guess who got in trouble...my son!!!! But I made sure the school knew the truth. The principle says to my son...why didn't you tell me this yesterday. And, I said, #1. He was afraid and #2. Would you rat out a " friend " . Some friend. But this has been happening all his life. I think part of it has to do with his placement in what classes....he is in a lot of pull out...and sometimes the kids there are not the best influence. Second, and most important, I think our children don't have the self -esteem to feel adequate to be friends with the " so called better smarter kids " . Another thing is " bad " kids tend to accept anyone...and they see our kids as easy ...easy to pick on and use. And, our kids don't see it and deny it....And, you are so right...if the kid is nice once or comes over once...they are his B.F. My son wants friends so badly...he will take just about anyone. And, he will do just about anything...act like the class clown, try to be cool...whatever just for friendship. How sad. Jan Janice Rushen " I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope " From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 9:21 AM Good point. Makes sense when you explain it that way. " Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out. " From: Jill Kern <JillBKernverizon (DOT) net> Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 6:02:03 AM Subject: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 No, I didn't...becuase I already know the response...so why bother....their kids are GREAT ..it is our kids. Like in church,,,,this girl tattled on for cursing and now 3 weeks later....he is told to sit with us...huh???? I am getting disgusted with the whole thing. And, now I just found out what other thing went on....where was told he was disrespectful...no one told me about it...but I finally learned from . The boys called "Bobby ..come over" and copied them "Yeah, Bobby, come over". Now he may have used his squeeky voice or something but I don't think he was disrespecting Bobby because my son said he likes him. Well, thanks ...I am about to quit going to the church. I am upset. jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 9:21 AM Good point. Makes sense when you explain it that way. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Jill Kern <JillBKernverizon (DOT) net> Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 6:02:03 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009  Wow, they didn't address the problem until 3 weeks later? Maybe you could give the pastor some information on AS? It might help if he understood the problems? Some churches are better than others at this. Roxanna The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan ( ) Re: Sad Weekend Dear Jan and others, Maybe what's really happening is that our children don't gravitate toward deviants -- they just don't always have the social skills to distinguish kind and friendly people from mean ones who will act friendly, then try to trick them. I actually heard another boysuggest to my son (when he was in elementary or middle school) that he do something mean to another child. Fortunately a teacher heard this boy and warned him not to do it again, or he would be in trouble. Jill No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.35/2033 - Release Date: 03/31/09 13:05:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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