Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Five years ago I got custody of my AS nephew who is now 9 and his sister who is now 6. I quit my job to stay home with them, now that the my husband's construction business has been extremely slow and we are having a hard time financially I feel like I need to go back to work. We live in a very small community and it is next to impossible to find a babysitter for him and I have no family to help out. My only choice is to work nights and have my husband watch him. I know I would never get any sleep when the kids are home on holiday breaks. This is frustrating because my own children are alot older, 2 are living on their own and my youngest is 16. I feel like I should be contributing financially. How do you handle working with a AS child? Thanks for letting me vent. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 > > My only choice is to work nights and have my husband watch him. What is your profession? Are you sure this is the only option? Can your husband handle your nephew and niece by himself? Does he WANT to do this? The way I am managing is by working with a company that offers both flexible hours and working from home if I need to. Even with that, we haven't had real vacation in several years because I end up using all my sick/vacation days on school meetings/prep, evaluations, other medical stuff, and just getting things done because I never have time. My husband is home days, but he is blind and not in great health, so he can't drive, help the kids with homework, and he can only do so much housework. Not that he is not a big help, but it gets pretty busy! Is your 16yo in a place where he/she can help? That could make a huge difference in your quality of life. When I was 16, my best friend's parents both worked and she had 2 elementary-aged siblings. She had no choice in baby-sitting after school every day and all school breaks, getting supper started, etc. All for free; they didn't have money to pay her. They didn't mind if I came over and hung out with her, so I spent a lot of time over there. We certainly survived. Since they didn't mind if she had her friends over, I'm not sure we really did anything different than we would have otherwise. We just had to either hang out at her house or take the kiddies with us. Of course, this won't work if your 16yo gets wild without supervision. Some kids are just like that, I'm afraid. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Thanks for your response and your ideas. My 16 y/o has had a pretty hard time with the kids moving in. He probrably isn't the best choice to depend on. He also has alot of trouble handing in his homework so stays alot after school to keep caught up. He has ODD so that speaks for itself. I don't have a profession- I live in a very small community and have worked in our local nursing home off and on for years before I got the kids. I think we have decided we will wait if we can and see how work goes for my husband. Hopefully things will get better there. Thanks, Lori From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: working and babysitters Date: Monday, March 30, 2009, 7:41 PM >> My only choice is to work nights and have my husband watch him. What is your profession? Are you sure this is the only option? Can your husband handle your nephew and niece by himself? Does he WANT to do this? :)The way I am managing is by working with a company that offers both flexible hours and working from home if I need to. Even with that, we haven't had real vacation in several years because I end up using all my sick/vacation days on school meetings/prep, evaluations, other medical stuff, and just getting things done because I never have time. My husband is home days, but he is blind and not in great health, so he can't drive, help the kids with homework, and he can only do so much housework. Not that he is not a big help, but it gets pretty busy!Is your 16yo in a place where he/she can help? That could make a huge difference in your quality of life. When I was 16, my best friend's parents both worked and she had 2 elementary-aged siblings. She had no choice in baby-sitting after school every day and all school breaks, getting supper started, etc. All for free; they didn't have money to pay her. They didn't mind if I came over and hung out with her, so I spent a lot of time over there. We certainly survived. Since they didn't mind if she had her friends over, I'm not sure we really did anything different than we would have otherwise. We just had to either hang out at her house or take the kiddies with us. Of course, this won't work if your 16yo gets wild without supervision. Some kids are just like that, I'm afraid.Ruth------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Can you check with the school district and you local family services to see if there is any help available? Becky > > > > My only choice is to work nights and have my husband watch him. > > What is your profession? Are you sure this is the only option? Can your husband handle your nephew and niece by himself? Does he WANT to do this? > > The way I am managing is by working with a company that offers both flexible hours and working from home if I need to. Even with that, we haven't had real vacation in several years because I end up using all my sick/vacation days on school meetings/prep, evaluations, other medical stuff, and just getting things done because I never have time. My husband is home days, but he is blind and not in great health, so he can't drive, help the kids with homework, and he can only do so much housework. Not that he is not a big help, but it gets pretty busy! > > Is your 16yo in a place where he/she can help? That could make a huge difference in your quality of life. When I was 16, my best friend's parents both worked and she had 2 elementary-aged siblings. She had no choice in baby-sitting after school every day and all school breaks, getting supper started, etc. All for free; they didn't have money to pay her. They didn't mind if I came over and hung out with her, so I spent a lot of time over there. We certainly survived. Since they didn't mind if she had her friends over, I'm not sure we really did anything different than we would have otherwise. We just had to either hang out at her house or take the kiddies with us. Of course, this won't work if your 16yo gets wild without supervision. Some kids are just like that, I'm afraid. > > Ruth > > > > ------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 > > Thanks for your response and your ideas. My 16 y/o has had a pretty hard time with the kids moving in. He probrably isn't the best choice to depend on. He also has alot of trouble handing in his homework so stays alot after school to keep caught up. He has ODD so that speaks for itself. I don't have a profession- I live in a very small community and have worked in our local nursing home off and on for years before I got the kids. I think we have decided we will wait if we can and see how work goes for my husband. Hopefully things will get better there. I hope it works out for you, Lori. I wouldn't wish working full-time with a couple of disabled people in the family on my own worst enemy. Keep us posted; we like to hear. Yes, you're right, the ODD speaks for itself. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Can you see if they are hiring at the school? Then you would be on the same schedule as the kids? Maybe? Roxanna The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan ( ) Re: working and babysitters >> Thanks for your response and your ideas. My 16 y/o has had a pretty hard time with the kids moving in. He probrably isn't the best choice to depend on. He also has alot of trouble handing in his homework so stays alot after school to keep caught up. He has ODD so that speaks for itself. I don't have a profession- I live in a very small community and have worked in our local nursing home off and on for years before I got the kids. I think we have decided we will wait if we can and see how work goes for my husband. Hopefully things will get better there. I hope it works out for you, Lori. I wouldn't wish working full-time with a couple of disabled people in the family on my own worst enemy. Keep us posted; we like to hear. Yes, you're right, the ODD speaks for itself. :)Ruth No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.32/2030 - Release Date: 03/30/09 08:40:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 That's a good idea. I have always worked, and my son (9) is in before and after school childcare. The ladies who work there get him involved with crafts and other things they do. Sometimes he has a problem with other kids there, but they let me know and we deal with it. He is much better talking to adults than to other kids, and the ladies there think he is cute, so he does spend time a lot of talking with them. It works for us. I think you have to give situations like that a chance, most schools have latchkey or some kind of childcare. Even if he doesn't interact with the other kids much, he can do homework or read a book for an hour or two until you would be able to pick him up. You could even try it out before you would go back to work, to make sure you are happy with the situation first. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Suzanne suzmarkwood@... From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: working and babysitters Date: Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 6:16 PM Can you see if they are hiring at the school? Then you would be on the same schedule as the kids? Maybe? Roxanna The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan ( ) Re: working and babysitters >> Thanks for your response and your ideas. My 16 y/o has had a pretty hard time with the kids moving in. He probrably isn't the best choice to depend on. He also has alot of trouble handing in his homework so stays alot after school to keep caught up. He has ODD so that speaks for itself. I don't have a profession- I live in a very small community and have worked in our local nursing home off and on for years before I got the kids. I think we have decided we will wait if we can and see how work goes for my husband. Hopefully things will get better there. I hope it works out for you, Lori. I wouldn't wish working full-time with a couple of disabled people in the family on my own worst enemy. Keep us posted; we like to hear. Yes, you're right, the ODD speaks for itself. :)Ruth No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.32/2030 - Release Date: 03/30/09 08:40:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 I always tell my daughter that she should put " extensive time with AS kids " on her babysitting resume...she is really good with my son and my neighbors son, more petient and caring then I was as a teen. bobbie in NJ -- In , Suzanne Markwood <suzmarkwood@...> wrote: > > That's a good idea. > I have always worked, and my son (9) is in before and after school childcare. The ladies who work there get him involved with crafts and other things they do. Sometimes he has a problem with other kids there, but they let me know and we deal with it. He is much better talking to adults than to other kids, and the ladies there think he is cute, so he does spend time a lot of talking with them. It works for us. > I think you have to give situations like that a chance, most schools have latchkey or some kind of childcare. Even if he doesn't interact with the other kids much, he can do homework or read a book for an hour or two until you would be able to pick him up. You could even try it out before you would go back to work, to make sure you are happy with the situation first. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Suzanne > suzmarkwood@... > > > > > From: Roxanna <madideas@...> > Subject: Re: ( ) Re: working and babysitters > > Date: Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 6:16 PM > > > > > > > > Can you see if they are hiring at the school? Then you would be on the same schedule as the kids? Maybe? >  > Roxanna >  > The government’s view of the economy > could be summed up in a few short phrases: > If it moves, tax it. > If it keeps moving, regulate it. > And if it stops moving, subsidize it. > Reagan > > ( ) Re: working and babysitters > > > > > > > > Thanks for your response and your ideas. My 16 y/o has had a pretty hard time with the kids moving in. He probrably isn't the best choice to depend on. He also has alot of trouble handing in his homework so stays alot after school to keep caught up. He has ODD so that speaks for itself. I don't have a profession- I live in a very small community and have worked in our local nursing home off and on for years before I got the kids. I think we have decided we will wait if we can and see how work goes for my husband. Hopefully things will get better there. > > I hope it works out for you, Lori. I wouldn't wish working full-time with a couple of disabled people in the family on my own worst enemy. Keep us posted; we like to hear. Yes, you're right, the ODD speaks for itself. > > Ruth > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.32/2030 - Release Date: 03/30/09 08:40:00 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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