Re: [SPAM] Re: [SPAM] Wants to come Home

[Guest guest]

Betty,

I know how stressful Christmas can be. My stepson, Mack, has problems with anger and agression and is now in RTC due to these issues. On Christmas Day 2005 and 2005 he attacked me and we had to call the police. He attacked me because I told him to pick stuff up from the floor in his bedroom before taking new stuff into his room. This year was so much more peaceful. Through the program at the RTC he is learning to control and recognize his triggers and we are learning how to deal with Aspergers. He was just diagnosed in February after years of other diagnoses. Although he is also ADHD, bipolar, and RAD, knowing that he is also dealing with Aspergers has helped us to put all of that into perspective and understand that everything is filtered through aspie eyes and logic. I am happy to report that he had a wonderful Christmas Day and in fact about 8PM reported to me, "Hey, Mom, I didn't attack you this year!" He was very proud and the rest of us were very relieved. His "Momma" came to visit him the day after Christmas at our house. She brought presents and then all of us went to lunch. This was the recommendation from the therapists at the RTC, because they have seen her interactions with him and do not feel that they are appropriate or healthy for him. She does not understand Aspergers and is doing little or nothing to learn. If anything, she denies that he has any issues, except that he needs to be with her and according to her, my husband (her ex-) has anger management issues! She left when Mack was 7yo (he is now 15yo) and went to England to live with a man she met on the internet. That lasted about a year and then she came back to the US and found another internet man who she married 5 years ago. He threw her out the day before Thanksgiving and left her stranded in a city with no one or no place to go. She called us. We gave her phone numbers for her family and she called a cousin who went and picked her up. Her husband is an alcoholic who abuses her, but she thought that was an appropriate place for her son because "she needs him." We have involved her in Mack's therapy and psychiatrist visits for the past 3 years, mainly so that others besides us could see and document her total cluelessness (is that a word?) in regards to Mack. She thinks that we are being so generous to include her and has no clue that her inappropriate behavior, failure to show up for appointments, etc. has been documented by all of the professionals concerned, including those at the RTC where he is currently in treatment.

It has been difficult dealing with her, but we have chosen to make all visits supervised - no overnight stays. This may be more difficult once he is living back home this summer and now that she is living only an hour and a half away with her brother. She will probably argue for more visits, but we will stick to our guns, because we have the backing of several professionals who have dealt with her and Mack.

I hope that you can work out a plan for that will work for him. He is the most important person in this situation. Unfortunately the dysfunctional people involved don't see it that way.

Donna

[sPAM] ( ) Wants to come Home

I e-mailed 's mother this morning & told her if wants to come back home before the New Year to call me because I promised he could. He's been there since Dec.24th but was at dad's the weekend of the 21st, then right down to his mom's. A few minutes later I get a voice mail from Jon saying to please call him which I did. I got the mom on the phone instead with loud music in the back ground & she says can come home tomorrow after she takes her daughter to the hospital for some tests at 2:30 (like he really wants to spend time sitting in the hospital) & all his clothes were in the washer anyway so he'd just have to wait. This was at 7pm tonight.I said I could meet her at 7:30 tonight. But she said all his clothes were being washed. She said had a meltdown wanting to come home to play with his new Wii (game system) & he needed to know that just because he wanted to come home he wasn't going to go ASAP so she then said she just let him go on with his meltdown & ignored him. I told her that I will meet her at 12:30 tomorrow not after her daughter gets tests & the wash was done. I can bet she hurried & threw all his clothes in the washer because he wanted to come back home. A Control thing.

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Donna for your post. Did you read my post about what she was saying to JOnathan when he wanted to come back home? She called me on New Years Eve but I just wasn't in the mood for her phoniness (is that a word?) & she would deny everything calling Jon a liar & a trouble maker as she has done before when he told me things. starts to get stressed out in September about Christmas to the point of crying his eyes out everyday. I feel so bad about your son attacking you & I bet that's how some of these kids feel only he acted on that. I am glad he is doing so much better now. He probably didn't know what & why he did that. It can be a very overwhelming time for these kids.His mom knows about Asperger but she thinks he uses that as an excuse & He is also Bipolar/OCD/Chronic Motor Tic Disorder/ADHD. He was really upset with her & she makes matters worse by her idiotic comments while he is struggling to get himself

together.before the meltdown. I have to watch so I don't say nothing negative about her & that is so hard for me because I want to beat her up LOL. His visits with her are not always bad he does good there most times. All they do is sit around,never going out of the house & play video games day & night. He doesn't go to bed till whatever time & when he gets home he is so out of schedule that it takes days for him to settle again. His dad gets him this weekend & is looking forward to that. No showers or teeth brushing there at all. Ugh! Take care,Betty Donna <donnalmoore@...> wrote: Betty, I know how stressful Christmas can be. My stepson, Mack, has problems with anger and agression and is now in RTC due to these issues. On Christmas Day 2005 and 2005 he attacked me and we had to call the police. He attacked me because I told him to pick stuff up from the floor in his bedroom before taking new stuff into his room. This year was so much more peaceful. Through the program at the RTC he is learning to control and recognize his triggers and we are learning how to deal with Aspergers. He was just diagnosed in February after years of other diagnoses. Although he is also ADHD, bipolar, and RAD, knowing that he is also dealing with Aspergers has helped us to put all of

that into perspective and understand that everything is filtered through aspie eyes and logic. I am happy to report that he had a wonderful Christmas Day and in fact about 8PM reported to me, "Hey, Mom, I didn't attack you this year!" He was very proud and the rest of us were very relieved. His "Momma" came to visit him the day after Christmas at our house. She brought presents and then all of us went to lunch. This was the recommendation from the therapists at the RTC, because they have seen her interactions with him and do not feel that they are appropriate or healthy for him. She does not understand Aspergers and is doing little or nothing to learn. If anything, she denies that he has any issues, except that he needs to be with her and according to her, my husband (her ex-) has anger management issues! She left when Mack was 7yo (he is now 15yo) and went to England to live with a man she met on the internet. That

lasted about a year and then she came back to the US and found another internet man who she married 5 years ago. He threw her out the day before Thanksgiving and left her stranded in a city with no one or no place to go. She called us. We gave her phone numbers for her family and she called a cousin who went and picked her up. Her husband is an alcoholic who abuses her, but she thought that was an appropriate place for her son because "she needs him." We have involved her in Mack's therapy and psychiatrist visits for the past 3 years, mainly so that others besides us could see and document her total cluelessness (is that a word?) in regards to Mack. She thinks that we are being so generous to include her and has no clue that her inappropriate behavior, failure to show up for appointments, etc. has been documented by all of the professionals concerned, including those at the RTC where he is currently in treatment. It has been difficult dealing with her, but we have chosen to make all visits supervised - no overnight stays. This may be more difficult once he is living back home this summer and now that she is living only an hour and a half away with her brother. She will probably argue for more visits, but we will stick to our guns, because we have the backing of several professionals who have dealt with her and Mack. I hope that you can work out a plan for that will work for him. He is the most important person in this situation. Unfortunately the dysfunctional people involved don't see it that way. Donna [sPAM] ( ) Wants to come Home I e-mailed 's mother this morning & told her if wants to come back home before the New Year to call me because I promised he could. He's been there since Dec.24th but was at dad's the weekend of the 21st, then right down to his mom's. A few minutes later I get a voice mail from Jon saying to please call him which I did. I got the mom on the phone instead with loud music in the back ground & she says can come home tomorrow after she takes her daughter to

the hospital for some tests at 2:30 (like he really wants to spend time sitting in the hospital) & all his clothes were in the washer anyway so he'd just have to wait. This was at 7pm tonight.I said I could meet her at 7:30 tonight. But she said all his clothes were being washed. She said had a meltdown wanting to come home to play with his new Wii (game system) & he needed to know that just because he wanted to come home he wasn't going to go ASAP so she then said she just let him go on with his meltdown & ignored him. I told her that I will meet her at 12:30 tomorrow not after her daughter gets tests & the wash was done. I can bet she hurried & threw all his clothes in the washer because he wanted to come back home. A Control thing. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

[Guest guest]

What is RTC?Donna <donnalmoore@...> wrote: Betty, I know how stressful Christmas can be. My stepson, Mack, has problems with anger and agression and is now in RTC due to these issues. On Christmas Day 2005 and 2005 he attacked me and we had to call the police. He attacked me because I told him to pick stuff up from the floor in his bedroom before taking new stuff into his room. This year was so

much more peaceful. Through the program at the RTC he is learning to control and recognize his triggers and we are learning how to deal with Aspergers. He was just diagnosed in February after years of other diagnoses. Although he is also ADHD, bipolar, and RAD, knowing that he is also dealing with Aspergers has helped us to put all of that into perspective and understand that everything is filtered through aspie eyes and logic. I am happy to report that he had a wonderful Christmas Day and in fact about 8PM reported to me, "Hey, Mom, I didn't attack you this year!" He was very proud and the rest of us were very relieved. His "Momma" came to visit him the day after Christmas at our house. She brought presents and then all of us went to lunch. This was the recommendation from the therapists at the RTC, because they have seen her interactions with him and do not feel that they are appropriate or healthy for him. She does

not understand Aspergers and is doing little or nothing to learn. If anything, she denies that he has any issues, except that he needs to be with her and according to her, my husband (her ex-) has anger management issues! She left when Mack was 7yo (he is now 15yo) and went to England to live with a man she met on the internet. That lasted about a year and then she came back to the US and found another internet man who she married 5 years ago. He threw her out the day before Thanksgiving and left her stranded in a city with no one or no place to go. She called us. We gave her phone numbers for her family and she called a cousin who went and picked her up. Her husband is an alcoholic who abuses her, but she thought that was an appropriate place for her son because "she needs him." We have involved her in Mack's therapy and psychiatrist visits for the past 3 years, mainly so that others besides us could see and document her

total cluelessness (is that a word?) in regards to Mack. She thinks that we are being so generous to include her and has no clue that her inappropriate behavior, failure to show up for appointments, etc. has been documented by all of the professionals concerned, including those at the RTC where he is currently in treatment. It has been difficult dealing with her, but we have chosen to make all visits supervised - no overnight stays. This may be more difficult once he is living back home this summer and now that she is living only an hour and a half away with her brother. She will probably argue for more visits, but we will stick to our guns, because we have the backing of several professionals who have dealt with her and Mack. I hope that you can work out a plan for

that will work for him. He is the most important person in this situation. Unfortunately the dysfunctional people involved don't see it that way. Donna [sPAM] ( ) Wants to come Home I e-mailed 's mother this morning & told her if wants to come back home before the New Year to call me because I promised he could. He's been there since Dec.24th but was at

dad's the weekend of the 21st, then right down to his mom's. A few minutes later I get a voice mail from Jon saying to please call him which I did. I got the mom on the phone instead with loud music in the back ground & she says can come home tomorrow after she takes her daughter to the hospital for some tests at 2:30 (like he really wants to spend time sitting in the hospital) & all his clothes were in the washer anyway so he'd just have to wait. This was at 7pm tonight.I said I could meet her at 7:30 tonight. But she said all his clothes were being washed. She said had a meltdown wanting to come home to play with his new Wii (game system) & he needed to know that just because he wanted to come home he wasn't going to go ASAP so she then said she just let him go on with his meltdown & ignored him. I told her that I will meet her at 12:30 tomorrow not after her daughter gets tests &

the wash was done. I can bet she hurried & threw all his clothes in the washer because he wanted to come back home. A Control thing. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.