Re: Help! My son has asperger's with adhd AND volume control

[Guest guest]

Any ideas for teaching volume control? My son drives me nuts with the

noise! I have tried showing him how loud he sounds by talking to him

in the same voice - he thinks it is too loud but says he can't hear how

loud he is (he does NOT have a hearing problem) so I tried saying to

always talk in a voice that sounds like a whisper to him, but that

hasn't worked either. He will rarely quiet down even briefly upon

reminders.

Time outs have never really worked for my son (now 7, Asperger's and

overactive but not ADHD) either, but I still give short ones anyway

(starts with " come back when you are calm " . If he stomps or argues, it

turns to 2 minutes and if he keeps stomping, arguing, door slamming,

etc. he gets another minute added on.

What this has been really good for is that my son's major behavior

problem at school is the meltdown when angry and this is slowly

teaching him to control his anger. We talk a lot about how if you just

TAKE your consquence then you are back in 2 minutes or less, but if you

throw a fit you lose a lot more time.

This is important to me even though I have to listen to the fit,

because it gets old getting called to pick DS up from school all

because he went from being told to move to the back of the line for

talking (or some equally minor consequence) to knocking chairs over and

screaming at the teacher.

He now will often feel very proud of himself, even if he ended up with

a 15 minute time out and say something like see, I didn't ruin the

whole day, I got control of myself. He even chose " just take my time

out " as one of his New Year's Resolutions.

[Guest guest]

> volume control??? is there such a thing with some of our aspies???

That's what I was afraid of, but thought it was worth asking

What I actually start out saying is " come back when you are calm " ; we

use " time out " for when he is required to stay a set amount of time.

Much of the time he will return in 30 seconds relatively calm. We use

the set time when the initial calm down request generates screaming,

stomping, etc and start the required time at only 2 minutes. We too

used to have up to all day tantrums and now the longest is maybe 30

minutes and that is rare.

Regarding toy taking not working:

Once when DS was three I was taking his toys for misbehavior and he

started to help me carry them out to the garage with a big smile on his

face. LOL