Re: [SPAM] Re: Great Pysch Appointment

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My stepson's "momma" who is actually his adoptive mom (my husband's ex), also has major issues which she will not address. She left him and my husband when my stepson was 7yo to go to England to live with a man that she met on the internet. A year later she was back and trying to be in his life. Many times she did not show up when she promised to visit. Then she moved to TX to live with and eventually marry another man she met on the internet. That lastest almost 5 years - he threw her out while in a drunken rage the day before Thanksgiving. She is now back living with her brother about 70 miles from us. My stepson has her on a pedestal and loves her dearly. Yet he still will talk about how she broke her heart and left him. He is very angry with her and has Reactive Attachment issues due to all of this. He also says that he loves me and that he knows that his dad and I will be there for him. However he still wants to see his mother. On the advice of his therapist, we have insisted that his visits are short and supervised by us. He is in RTC right now and she is allowed to visit him there, but they also insist that the visits are supervised, sometimes through a one-way mirror and she is not allowed to take him off campus, even though we are.

It is hard because, I know that my stepson wants to protect his momma. He especially felt that the should go visit her when she was married and living with the drunk. However, when the husband attacked his momma while he was there and we find out, that is when we cut the visits. is older than Mack, but I still think that with the Aspergers that you may need to have more say in when and if he visits his mom. We were advised to keep visits in our home or public places, such as restaurants or movie theaters where we could be in the same place, just a short distance away. Then he has an escape, if needed. It also keeps him out of the drama of her home and life that he is not able to handle. It also keeps him from regressing when we are making progress.

Just my thought based on our experience.

Donna

[sPAM] Re: ( ) Great Pysch Appointment

I wonder if, when says he loves his mother and wants to visit with her. If that means, She is 's mother., and he knows she needs help, so he wants to visit with her to help her? (because she is his mom)? Just a thought. I haven't been on this site daily but do check in once in a while. this post was the first I've read about athan. So, If I'm way off, sorry.

Rosetruegrittle <truegrittle > wrote:

had a good long talk with his psych yesterday about meltdowns & his mother & all the Christmas stress he had. I am so happy can be open to this new psych & also to be able to open up for his new Therapist. We were in there for a long time talking about his feelings. I found out about why Jon was crying at the table the other night...Jon's mom couldn't handle the other kids fighting & not listening so she had a meltdown & was screaming & crying.. really out of control I guess & said she felt like putting a gun in her mouth & blowing her head off. This was a few months ago that she said that & it finally came out. She has multi dx's herself but she was wrong in saying that around the kids even if she did feel that way. Psych explained to Jon that we can't change people or what the say & do or how they act. Psych told to visit if he wants but be prepared for anything. said he loved his mother & wanted to visit her. The Dr said that was ok to love her & want to visit. feels so much better getting that load of his chest. Poor guy!Take care,Betty

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