Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing.... ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments. This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long. do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods). Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts. .. No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 OMG Rose, You sound like you are talking about my son. He will ask the same things over and over or he will say things that may be inapropriate over and over even though every time I tell him thats not nice to say he will say it again later that day or another day. I say to him why do you keep saying that word when mom tells you not to say it and he says you didnt tell me not to say it today. So I tell him dont ever say it again anyday, but of course he still does. If he says something and someone will laugh he will say it all day long and I tell him it was funny at the time but its not funny anymore but he wont stop. He has to ask me a hundred questions on one subject until he is absolutely sure he knows everything there is to know about it. Jan and I have talked about this before and her son is the same way. My son (collin) will drive us all crazy by asking the same things and repeating the same things but if you ask him something twice he jumps down my throat and tells me to quit bugging him. That just erks me to no return. Why can he see it bugs him but he cant see that he bugs us. He also will never take the blame for anything that he does, it is always someone elses fault, even though he did it, for example if he knocks over his glass it was my fault because I should have moved it before he did it????What ??? How irritating. He even will blame the poor dog but nothing is never his fault. Same thing in school, he annoys kids around him because he is constantly talking and when he gets in trouble he blames it on the other kids and tells me that they were annoying him. How do you get them to see this?? He really cant see it any other way but his. If I see him knock something over and confront him with it he will say I didnt knock it over and he really believes he didnt. I have talked to his doctor a bout this beacause to me it seems like he is out right lying to me and I hate that but his doctor says that they are sometimes so consumed in their own world that they dont notice they knocked something over so when you confront them with it they deny it cause they really dont believe they did it. Im not sure if I believe that. What do you think?? His teacher told me one day he was running down the hall and when he got back to class she said dont run down the hall anymore and he said I wasnt and she said yes you were I saw you with my own eyes and he totally denied it and came home and was upset with his teacher and said that she lies. Who do you believe? Iknow the teacher isnt lying to me but is he or is he really not knowing he was doing it??? I also wonder if any one of your kids get startled alot when you just talk to them out of the blue like if collin is in another room or sometimes even the same room and I just start talking to him while he is concentrating on the computer or a movie I scare the crap out of him. He is always saying gee mom you scared me and Im like how can I scare you when you are right here next to me and I start talking to you?? But somehow I do. The doctor said same thing he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , > > What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. > > Roxanna > You're Unique > Just like everyone else... > Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? > > > > Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing.... > > ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments. > This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. > > That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long. > do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? > WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods). > Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts. > > > . > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 LOL Roxanna, are you saying, when my son ask, do you like pigs... that I should repeat the question back to my son and ask him if he likes pigs ?. I'm almost 100% sure he is doing this when he has nothing to say or do. I'll try that and see how it goes. I'm also 100% he is not aware of how many times he's saying it or how it sounds to others. to him ... it sounds funny, so he believes to others it sounds funny too. but annoying...Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing.... ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments. This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long. do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods). Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts. . No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yes! LOL. I thought of that because of what we've had to do with my own ds. But he was/is a little different. In his case, he does not go on all day and does not do this because it annoys anyone else. He does get stuck but it's like a skipped record and if I just rephrase it or figure out what is really on his mind, he can move on. This is not to say it doesn't come back up later. But it stops it for that moment. Before he did that, before he had language skills, he used to repeat echolalic phrases and I would just rephrase them and have him say what he really wanted - problem solved. Now of course, we did that for years before he started correcting it himself. Also, I spent last school year volunteering in my ds's 2nd grade class. And I noticed that those little sweeties (lol) liked saying things they thought would shock or embarass. So I would be calm and just say it back to them. Like one boy said to another "You probably sleep with a blankie and suck your thumb!" and I said to him, "Do YOU have a blankie?" as if I was intensely interested in hearing about his blankie. Everyone shuts up in the group, the kid turns red and he shuts up, and the kid who was getting picked on is forgotten. Then we moved on. If I had lectured him on not being mean, he would have been proud of himself for getting his digs in. I also have used this with some success in IEP meetings when a sped person would say something totally outrageous - just repeat it back as if you didn't hear it right the first time. Sometimes hearing it said causes the person to backtrack or explain it better. So anyway, I sometimes do that here with my own kids even though getting stuck is not the same as purposely trying to annoying. But you know, join the party! If he is asking about pigs, then let's talk pigs! WHat kind of pigs do you like? Do you know there are different kinds of pigs? Would you like to have a pig for a pet? In the house? Do you think they are messy? Maybe we should look it up online? (Oh yeah, a few offers like that and he'll run for cover from you!) Or if he asks if you like hot sauce at dinner, knowing you don't, I would have stated, "Yes, you know already that I hate that stuff!" or talk about what HE likes on his food or even better, launch into a story about something you ate when you were a little girl. All kids love stories about us when we were kids. <GG> Another idea is to use something he really likes and make a "power card." There is a book called "power cards" and the basic gist is to write a short social story using a character(s) that the child obsesses about. In the story, the same problem the child is having is discussed. The character helps solve the problem. Then you make a little card - pokemon card size. Then you can put a picture of the character and have the character remind him of the general rules for that behavior. The child can carry the card around for reminders. You could make a reward chart even - each time he is able to stop with just one reminder, he gets a mark...so many marks, he gets something he would like. You can also help him remember by pointing to the card or restating the main rule being promoted. It would be a lot of work. But I definitely have seen this work. There was a boy who was very O.D.D. and out of control in our group. He had the dx of AS but he was so not AS. He was just totally O.D.D. and his mother had no way to control him. So she put together power cards. She actually had several going at once. And one time at an outing, I saw the kid come back to his index cards, flip through them and then he put his hand on one of them and moved his fingers from the character on the card to his forehead - as if he was willing the information to come to him! I would have never thought it would work with this kid, he was so out of control. But wow! Anyway, just a few ideas.... RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing.... ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments. This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long. do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods). Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts. .. No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.2/1609 - Release Date: 8/13/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 First ...I don't know how this all started ...Jan, what do you think? He He He!!!! I wonder too about the lying or not lying....blaming everything on everyone else...because my son does it too! I can see him do something and he will argue till he is blue in the face and say he didn't do it. Even when I saw him do it. I do know that I might say...don't throw your controller on the ground...and he'll say I didn't. And, I will say I saw you. And he will say I didn't throw it ...I dropped it. And then there are the times where I have folded clothes on my bed and when I walk back in my room ...they are knocked off and on the floor...cause he was play acting Wrestling. When I say something ..he will say I don't know how it happen ..I didn't do it...and there is no one else in the house. Is it due to immaturity and the ability to take responsibility???? I have no idea but it has gotten a little better but it is still there. As far as repeating himself...he only does that when he wants something and i have said no...then he rags on me....or he may get a song in his head and sing that all day... but the most fustrating thing is when he doesn't understand something...and he keeps asking questions about it and then gets more fustrated because he still doesn't get it. But once he understands he is fine and the subject is done. I think of it like this...in his mind...there is a file cabinent. If you talk about a certain subject...that becomes the file...well he doesn't understand it ...so he keeps asking questions about the subject because "he needs" to totally understand it before he puts the file away. Once he understand it...he can put the file away and close the file cabinent door. So, when I think of it like that...I realize that it is part of his Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. He must have the information inorder to put the file away otherwise he can not close the file cabinet draw. Does this make sense? Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: gina <ginak1117@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 2:54 AM OMG Rose,You sound like you are talking about my son. He will ask the same things over and over or he will say things that may be inapropriate over and over even though every time I tell him thats not nice to say he will say it again later that day or another day. I say to him why do you keep saying that word when mom tells you not to say it and he says you didnt tell me not to say it today. So I tell him dont ever say it again anyday, but of course he still does. If he says something and someone will laugh he will say it all day long and I tell him it was funny at the time but its not funny anymore but he wont stop. He has to ask me a hundred questions on one subject until he is absolutely sure he knows everything there is to know about it. Jan and I have talked about this before and her son is the same way. My son (collin) will drive us all crazy by asking the same things and repeating the same things but if you ask him something twice he jumps down my throat and tells me to quit bugging him. That just erks me to no return. Why can he see it bugs him but he cant see that he bugs us. He also will never take the blame for anything that he does, it is always someone elses fault, even though he did it, for example if he knocks over his glass it was my fault because I should have moved it before he did it????What ??? How irritating. He even will blame the poor dog but nothing is never his fault. Same thing in school, he annoys kids around him because he is constantly talking and when he gets in trouble he blames it on the other kids and tells me that they were annoying him. How do you get them to see this?? He really cant see it any other way but his. If I see him knock something over and confront him with it he will say I didnt knock it over and he really believes he didnt. I have talked to his doctor about this beacause to me it seems like he is out right lying to me and I hate that but his doctor says that they are sometimes so consumed in their own world that they dont notice they knocked something over so when you confront them with it they deny it cause they really dont believe they did it. Im not sure if I believe that. What do you think?? His teacher told me one day he was running down the hall and when he got back to class she said dont run down the hall anymore and he said I wasnt and she said yes you were I saw you with my own eyes and he totally denied it and came home and was upset with his teacher and said that she lies. Who do you believe? Iknow the teacher isnt lying to me but is he or is he really not knowing he was doing it??? I also wonder if any one of your kids get startled alot when you just talk to them out of the blue like if collin is in another room or sometimes even the same room and I just start talking to him while he is concentrating on the computer or a movie I scare the crap out of him. He is always saying gee mom you scared me and Im like how can I scare you when you are right here next to me and I start talking to you?? But somehow I do. The doctor said same thing he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , >> What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. > > Roxanna> You're Unique> Just like everyone else...> Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ?> > > > Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing....> > ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments.> This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. > > That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long.> do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? > WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods).> Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts.> > > . > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 This is funny, because my son tells on himself! He is so honest it is scary sometimes. He has four siblings to tell on him, but if they don't he will. Jean In a message dated 8/13/2008 2:34:12 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jrushen@... writes: First ...I don't know how this all started ...Jan, what do you think? He He He!!!! I wonder too about the lying or not lying....blaming everything on everyone else...because my son does it too! I can see him do something and he will argue till he is blue in the face and say he didn't do it. Even when I saw him do it. I do know that I might say...don't throw your controller on the ground...and he'll say I didn't. And, I will say I saw you. And he will say I didn't throw it ...I dropped it. And then there are the times where I have folded clothes on my bed and when I walk back in my room ...they are knocked off and on the floor...cause he was play acting Wrestling. When I say something ..he will say I don't know how it happen ..I didn't do it...and there is no one else in the house. Is it due to immaturity and the ability to take responsibility???? I have no idea but it has gotten a little better but it is still there. As far as repeating himself...he only does that when he wants something and i have said no...then he rags on me....or he may get a song in his head and sing that all day... but the most fustrating thing is when he doesn't understand something...and he keeps asking questions about it and then gets more fustrated because he still doesn't get it. But once he understands he is fine and the subject is done. I think of it like this...in his mind...there is a file cabinent. If you talk about a certain subject...that becomes the file...well he doesn't understand it ...so he keeps asking questions about the subject because "he needs" to totally understand it before he puts the file away. Once he understand it...he can put the file away and close the file cabinent door. So, when I think of it like that...I realize that it is part of his Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. He must have the information inorder to put the file away otherwise he can not close the file cabinet draw. Does this make sense? Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: gina <ginak1117att (DOT) net>Subject: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 2:54 AM OMG Rose,You sound like you are talking about my son. He will ask the same things over and over or he will say things that may be inapropriate over and over even though every time I tell him thats not nice to say he will say it again later that day or another day. I say to him why do you keep saying that word when mom tells you not to say it and he says you didnt tell me not to say it today. So I tell him dont ever say it again anyday, but of course he still does. If he says something and someone will laugh he will say it all day long and I tell him it was funny at the time but its not funny anymore but he wont stop. He has to ask me a hundred questions on one subject until he is absolutely sure he knows everything there is to know about it. Jan and I have talked about this before and her son is the same way. My son (collin) will drive us all crazy by asking the same things and repeating the same things but if you ask him something twice he jumps down my throat and tells me to quit bugging him. That just erks me to no return. Why can he see it bugs him but he cant see that he bugs us. He also will never take the blame for anything that he does, it is always someone elses fault, even though he did it, for example if he knocks over his glass it was my fault because I should have moved it before he did it????What ??? How irritating. He even will blame the poor dog but nothing is never his fault. Same thing in school, he annoys kids around him because he is constantly talking and when he gets in trouble he blames it on the other kids and tells me that they were annoying him. How do you get them to see this?? He really cant see it any other way but his. If I see him knock something over and confront him with it he will say I didnt knock it over and he really believes he didnt. I have talked to his doctor about this beacause to me it seems like he is out right lying to me and I hate that but his doctor says that they are sometimes so consumed in their own world that they dont notice they knocked something over so when you confront them with it they deny it cause they really dont believe they did it. Im not sure if I believe that. What do you think?? His teacher told me one day he was running down the hall and when he got back to class she said dont run down the hall anymore and he said I wasnt and she said yes you were I saw you with my own eyes and he totally denied it and came home and was upset with his teacher and said that she lies. Who do you believe? Iknow the teacher isnt lying to me but is he or is he really not knowing he was doing it??? I also wonder if any one of your kids get startled alot when you just talk to them out of the blue like if collin is in another room or sometimes even the same room and I just start talking to him while he is concentrating on the computer or a movie I scare the crap out of him. He is always saying gee mom you scared me and Im like how can I scare you when you are right here next to me and I start talking to you?? But somehow I do. The doctor said same thing he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , >> What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. > > Roxanna> You're Unique> Just like everyone else...> Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ?> > > > Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing....> > ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments.> This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. > > That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long.> do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? > WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods).> Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts.> > > . > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM> Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 I don't know why he's lying. But I think when my kids say, "I didn't..." and I saw that they did, I decide they need a course in how to "whatever" they did but didn't do. So if they had thrown the controller and told me, "I dropped it, I didn't throw it." I would go over and show him how to set it down neatly on the counter or tv table or wherever. Then have him do it correctly. Now he can't say he doesn't know how to do it properly as you've shown him. I then say, "This is the way you put your controller down. This is the only way - by setting it quietly onto the (whatever). If it falls, drops or is thrown, that is not correct." If he does realize he threw it but is arguing, then he'll not appreciate having to redo it with a lesson from you. If he really did not realize how he was dropping/throwing it, you've shown him the right way to do it. Either way is win/win for the expensive controllers! RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ?> > > > Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing....> > ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments.> This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. > > That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long.> do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? > WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods).> Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts.> > > . > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM>No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.2/1609 - Release Date: 8/13/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 > The doctor said same thing > he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it > startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin > has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , I don't know if I agree with your doctor. My son is a different kid, but I'm identifying strongly with some of what your son does--like nothing ever being his fault, blaming other people for things that make no sense, doing things and not being aware of it. My son's speech therapist works on these things with him (as well as us, of course). My understanding is that this is called " attribution " . It is caused by executive dysfunction that causes sequencing problems, i.e. the child processes thoughts, visual images, etc. out of order, so his sense of cause and effect is messed up. I think this is very typical of Asperger. I also have a pretty impossible time trying to get through to him. I assume this will be a long-term problem, although he is getting better, very slowly. His blaming is not as wild as it was even a couple of years ago (he is 13yo). Is your son taking speech for pragmatic language and non-verbal communication? Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 Oh,,,,that's too funny!!! Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: gina <ginak1117att (DOT) net>Subject: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 2:54 AM OMG Rose,You sound like you are talking about my son. He will ask the same things over and over or he will say things that may be inapropriate over and over even though every time I tell him thats not nice to say he will say it again later that day or another day. I say to him why do you keep saying that word when mom tells you not to say it and he says you didnt tell me not to say it today. So I tell him dont ever say it again anyday, but of course he still does. If he says something and someone will laugh he will say it all day long and I tell him it was funny at the time but its not funny anymore but he wont stop. He has to ask me a hundred questions on one subject until he is absolutely sure he knows everything there is to know about it. Jan and I have talked about this before and her son is the same way. My son (collin) will drive us all crazy by asking the same things and repeating the same things but if you ask him something twice he jumps down my throat and tells me to quit bugging him. That just erks me to no return. Why can he see it bugs him but he cant see that he bugs us. He also will never take the blame for anything that he does, it is always someone elses fault, even though he did it, for example if he knocks over his glass it was my fault because I should have moved it before he did it????What ??? How irritating. He even will blame the poor dog but nothing is never his fault. Same thing in school, he annoys kids around him because he is constantly talking and when he gets in trouble he blames it on the other kids and tells me that they were annoying him. How do you get them to see this?? He really cant see it any other way but his. If I see him knock something over and confront him with it he will say I didnt knock it over and he really believes he didnt. I have talked to his doctor about this beacause to me it seems like he is out right lying to me and I hate that but his doctor says that they are sometimes so consumed in their own world that they dont notice they knocked something over so when you confront them with it they deny it cause they really dont believe they did it. Im not sure if I believe that. What do you think?? His teacher told me one day he was running down the hall and when he got back to class she said dont run down the hall anymore and he said I wasnt and she said yes you were I saw you with my own eyes and he totally denied it and came home and was upset with his teacher and said that she lies. Who do you believe? Iknow the teacher isnt lying to me but is he or is he really not knowing he was doing it??? I also wonder if any one of your kids get startled alot when you just talk to them out of the blue like if collin is in another room or sometimes even the same room and I just start talking to him while he is concentrating on the computer or a movie I scare the crap out of him. He is always saying gee mom you scared me and Im like how can I scare you when you are right here next to me and I start talking to you?? But somehow I do. The doctor said same thing he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , >> What would happen if you turned the question back on him? I imagine that is really stressful to hear it all day like that. > > Roxanna> You're Unique> Just like everyone else...> Re: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ?> > > > Roxanna, this link relates more to what I'm seeing....> > ***Third, the process may exhibit as a failure to alter inappropriate behavior into an appropriate behavior. For example, your child may often make annoying remarks to others knowing they will get into trouble, but he will be unable to change their comments.> This condition may be easily confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. > > That is what he is doing. he gets it stuck into his head and repeats it all day long.> do you like pigs ?, Hi, do you like pigs?. tapping on my arm, MOM, do you like pigs? > WHO CARES ABOUT PIGS !!!!!!! today can be pigs, tomorrow something else. or he'll ask a question that I can't believe he'll ask. He knows I HATE winter and snow. then on the coldest day, out from nowhere, he'll ask me if I would like to take a trip to the Antarctica. then when I don't answer him because HE knows I HATE the cold. he will repeat it. He knows my daughter HATES hot spicy foods and will offer her some hot sauce. She will say you know I hate hot sauce and he'll say: but do you want it. so she won't answer and he'll keep repeating it. I'll step in and say, why are you still repeating that question to her? and he'll say because she didn't answer. She said she doesn't like hot sauce and he'll say but she didn't answer when I asked do you want some. I said, her saying she doesn't like it is her answer. (he wanted her to say no). then the next day were eating dinner, he ask her if she wants hot sauce. if she decides to answer and say no, he'll ask why. after this happening over and over it gets annoying. then I have to say - don't ever ask you sister if she wants hot sauce !. I won't mention about him asking about hot pepper. this is what I mean about him being annoying. I explained this to his skills teacher and he said to ask him if he wanted to talk about something. (besides spicy foods).> Now one of his friends said to me, why does he keep asking me the same question over and over. that time it was do you like frogs. she said yes, and he'll say, HI, do you like frogs, she'll say yes, and he'll ask again. we talked about this while he was there and I explained to him - see it's annoying even to others. I'm hoping this behavior will stop before school starts.> > > . > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM> Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 Oh thank you Ruth...i am saving this post...because this is my son to a tee. And, he is being tested for speech this year and now I know what to ask for and what to call it. oeeee!!!! Thankeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love going in looking all "smart and educated" Heheheheheh cause otherwise they just say NO ....but when we are armed with knowledge ....they can't say boo! Love it Love it Love it!!!! Thanks!! Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Jan, what do you think ? Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 6:05 PM > The doctor said same thing > he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it > startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin > has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , I don't know if I agree with your doctor. My son is a different kid,but I'm identifying strongly with some of what your son does--likenothing ever being his fault, blaming other people for things thatmake no sense, doing things and not being aware of it. My son'sspeech therapist works on these things with him (as well as us, ofcourse). My understanding is that this is called "attribution" . Itis caused by executive dysfunction that causes sequencing problems,i.e. the child processes thoughts, visual images, etc. out of order,so his sense of cause and effect is messed up. I think this is verytypical of Asperger. I also have a pretty impossible time trying toget through to him. I assume this will be a long-term problem,although he is getting better, very slowly. His blaming is not aswild as it was even a couple of years ago (he is 13yo). Is your sontaking speech for pragmatic language and non-verbal communication?Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2008 Report Share Posted August 13, 2008 > > Oh thank you Ruth...i am saving this post...because this is my son to a tee.� And, he is being tested for speech this year and now I know what to ask for and what to call it.� oeeee!!!! Thankeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love going in looking all " smart and educated " Heheheheheh cause otherwise they just say NO ....but when we are armed with knowledge ....they can't say boo! Love it Love it Love it!!!! > � > Thanks!! Jan, I feel terrible having to tell you this, but if you are talking about a school evaluation, they will probably never be able to dx this. PS SLPs just don't get that kind of training typically. For this type of dx they don't use conventional speech testing but have to use observation and they have to be able to think outside the box. Not that they don't use conventional speech testing, but that is just a small part of it since nothing shows up for aspies typically. Now, I have met a few people (online) who have PS SLPs with this type of training, almost all of them from Massachussetts, I think (MA has great special ed), but that is not typical. I had to find a speech therapy center that specializes in autism, and we had him evaluated and treat him on our own dime (with insurance coverage). There aren't very many SLPs period that have training on how to evaluate people with Aspergers. There is definitely a trick to it. So, I hope I'm not discouraging you--I'm trying to encourage you to not give up but be prepared for this to take some time and effort. It is worth it. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Hi Rose, This sounds very interesting. You said this is called (attribution?) Is this another symptom of AS? I have never heard of this before, I will have to talk to his doc about it. You have opened my eyes to a few new things and I thank you very much. All I know is that it is very irritating to deal with and sometimes I just want to call him a liar and punish him but I know that he really does not believe he is doing these things. I can tell when he is lying just by the tone in his voice and the way he acts so I know when these things happen he truly believes what he is saying is truthful so I cant punish him for something he doesnt realize he is doing. gina -- In , " r_woman2 " <me2ruth@...> wrote: > > > > The doctor said same thing > > he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it > > startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin > > has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , > > I don't know if I agree with your doctor. My son is a different kid, > but I'm identifying strongly with some of what your son does--like > nothing ever being his fault, blaming other people for things that > make no sense, doing things and not being aware of it. My son's > speech therapist works on these things with him (as well as us, of > course). My understanding is that this is called " attribution " . It > is caused by executive dysfunction that causes sequencing problems, > i.e. the child processes thoughts, visual images, etc. out of order, > so his sense of cause and effect is messed up. I think this is very > typical of Asperger. I also have a pretty impossible time trying to > get through to him. I assume this will be a long-term problem, > although he is getting better, very slowly. His blaming is not as > wild as it was even a couple of years ago (he is 13yo). Is your son > taking speech for pragmatic language and non-verbal communication? > > Ruth > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Hi , Try to sit with him and explain....even if it is the next day. Talk about the situation and try to clarify it to him... Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. >> > > The doctor said same thing > > he is in his own world and when noise comes in from the outside it > > startles him. Has anyone heard this or do your kids do this?? Collin > > has alot of little quirks like that. thanks for listening , > > I don't know if I agree with your doctor. My son is a different kid,> but I'm identifying strongly with some of what your son does--like> nothing ever being his fault, blaming other people for things that> make no sense, doing things and not being aware of it. My son's> speech therapist works on these things with him (as well as us, of> course). My understanding is that this is called "attribution" . It> is caused by executive dysfunction that causes sequencing problems,> i.e. the child processes thoughts, visual images, etc. out of order,> so his sense of cause and effect is messed up. I think this is very> typical of Asperger. I also have a pretty impossible time trying to> get through to him. I assume this will be a long-term problem,> although he is getting better, very slowly. His blaming is not as> wild as it was even a couple of years ago (he is 13yo). Is your son> taking speech for pragmatic language and non-verbal communication?> > Ruth> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 > > Hi Rose, > This sounds very interesting. You said this is called (attribution?) > Is this another symptom of AS? I have never heard of this before, I > will have to talk to his doc about it. I'm not Rose, but I was the one who brought that up. You might also want to look up " theory of mind " although it just confused me until I saw it explained somewhere as " knowing what others know " . It's all related. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Sorry Ruth, My mind is not working well lately. Thank you so much Ruth I will get on that when I get some spare time. I really appreciate the info. Thanks again ruth and Im sorry about the name mix-up, > > > > Hi Rose, > > This sounds very interesting. You said this is called (attribution?) > > Is this another symptom of AS? I have never heard of this before, I > > will have to talk to his doc about it. > > I'm not Rose, but I was the one who brought that up. You might also > want to look up " theory of mind " although it just confused me until I > saw it explained somewhere as " knowing what others know " . It's all > related. > > Ruth > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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