Guest guest Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 Can your parents hire a babysitter for your son? You definitely need some kind of respite. elaine In a message dated 8/11/2008 5:38:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jrushen@... writes: First of all you are not selfish....you need time to be a wife and be yourself....being a mom is only part of who you are....and you can't be a good mom if you don't do stuff you want to do and refresh yourself....motherhood is a very very draining job....and you need to take breaks....it is good for you and for your kids. If you son is having meltdowns everyday ....then you are probably exhausted. And, you were looking forward to this time to yourself...so don't feel selfish it is all part of being human....mother are human beings with needs and wants too! And, most likely you have not been taking care of yourself and that is important.... See if you can find out why is he melting down...what is bothering him...do your parents know he has melt downs...do they know what to do...do you have anyother family around that could help? Can you get a sitter for the night or a weekend? You need to take care of yourself too! Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: garthwaitdiana <garthwaitdiana >Subject: ( ) No where eles to go. Date: Monday, August 11, 2008, 12:54 PM I am new to the group thing. I am a parent of an aspie 12 years old and emily who is 8. I am married to a great man who tries very hard to be the best dad in the world. Our parents are about 4 hours away. The kids have been with them for a few days. had a melt down last night so all of a sudden I have to go get them tomorrow instead of thursday. I know it is only two day but I really feel hurt. I really love my children but the thought of paul and the daily melt downs really have given me a knot in my stomach. I really want them home but I loved being me and being a wife to my husband. Why do I feel so selfish? Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 First of all you are not selfish....you need time to be a wife and be yourself....being a mom is only part of who you are....and you can't be a good mom if you don't do stuff you want to do and refresh yourself....motherhood is a very very draining job....and you need to take breaks....it is good for you and for your kids. If you son is having meltdowns everyday ....then you are probably exhausted. And, you were looking forward to this time to yourself...so don't feel selfish it is all part of being human....mother are human beings with needs and wants too! And, most likely you have not been taking care of yourself and that is important.... See if you can find out why is he melting down...what is bothering him...do your parents know he has melt downs...do they know what to do...do you have anyother family around that could help? Can you get a sitter for the night or a weekend? You need to take care of yourself too! Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: garthwaitdiana <garthwaitdiana@...>Subject: ( ) No where eles to go. Date: Monday, August 11, 2008, 12:54 PM I am new to the group thing. I am a parent of an aspie 12 years old and emily who is 8. I am married to a great man who tries very hard to be the best dad in the world. Our parents are about 4 hours away. The kids have been with them for a few days. had a melt down last night so all of a sudden I have to go get them tomorrow instead of thursday. I know it is only two day but I really feel hurt. I really love my children but the thought of paul and the daily melt downs really have given me a knot in my stomach. I really want them home but I loved being me and being a wife to my husband. Why do I feel so selfish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 > > Why do I feel so selfish? I don't know if I have an answer for that, but I know we all go through it. I think it comes from always wishing we could do more for our kids, make all their problems go away. And feeling desperate for help and knowing there isn't any sometimes. Can I send some cyber hugs your way? Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Jan is so right. I also used to deal with daily meltdowns and it is exhausting just being a mother let alone the other roles we have. I really enjoy the times when I have the house to myself and can just relax and not do anything. This is how I recharge and then when my son walks through the door I am happy and ready to mother him. No need to feel guilty. Sue From: garthwaitdiana <garthwaitdiana>Subject: ( ) No where eles to go. Date: Monday, August 11, 2008, 12:54 PM I am new to the group thing. I am a parent of an aspie 12 years old and emily who is 8. I am married to a great man who tries very hard to be the best dad in the world. Our parents are about 4 hours away. The kids have been with them for a few days. had a melt down last night so all of a sudden I have to go get them tomorrow instead of thursday. I know it is only two day but I really feel hurt. I really love my children but the thought of paul and the daily melt downs really have given me a knot in my stomach. I really want them home but I loved being me and being a wife to my husband. Why do I feel so selfish? Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Probably because you are really tired and burned out. Why is it that is melting down all the time? RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... ( ) No where eles to go. I am new to the group thing. I am a parent of an aspie 12 years old and emily who is 8. I am married to a great man who tries very hard to be the best dad in the world. Our parents are about 4 hours away. The kids have been with them for a few days. had a melt down last night so all of a sudden I have to go get them tomorrow instead of thursday. I know it is only two day but I really feel hurt. I really love my children but the thought of paul and the daily melt downs really have given me a knot in my stomach. I really want them home but I loved being me and being a wife to my husband. Why do I feel so selfish?No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 I totally agree with this. I have ended up so exhausted in the past that I actually collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital, just from lack of sleep and stretching myself too thin (all from taking care of my wonderful children). My doctor now has ME on meds to help me sleep, so that even if my Aspie is awake half the night, I can be of some benefit to him (and my other 5 kiddos) the next day, and my DS seems to understand about Mommy not staying up with him anymore. > > > > Why do I feel so selfish? > > I don't know if I have an answer for that, but I know we all go > through it. I think it comes from always wishing we could do more for > our kids, make all their problems go away. And feeling desperate for > help and knowing there isn't any sometimes. Can I send some cyber > hugs your way? > > Ruth > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2008 Report Share Posted August 14, 2008 I like this version of the seat belt announcement better:'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.'On Aug 12, 2008, at 5:24 AM, Todd Kotler wrote:I don't think it is selfish at all. Caregivers need some care too. ITs just like the flight attendant says "in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure put on your mask first, then help your child". Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves in order to keep being good parents. Very truly yours; Todd B. KotlerAttorney and Counselor at LawPO Box 2041Massillon, Ohio 44646-2041 330-777-0065 Phone / Fax / Voicemail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2008 Report Share Posted August 14, 2008 Thanks for the chuckle! Can I change it to " if you are traveling with more than one *relative " ?? And you are sooooo right about caregivers, especially moms of special kids, needing to take care of themselves! A close friend of mine and I, a few times a year, volunteer our business services specifically to teach women, especially MOMS, the importance and value of taking care of themselves so they have full hearts to care for their families with love. (Yeah, yeah, sometimes I have to do it too! - " healer heal thyself " and all that, I know, I know! I have time scheduled for MYSELF tomorrow afternoon! YIPPEE!) > > > > > I don't think it is selfish at all. Caregivers need some care too. > > ITs just like the flight attendant says " in the event of a sudden > > loss of cabin pressure put on your mask first, then help your > > child " . Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves in order to > > keep being good parents. > > > > Very truly yours; > > > > > > > > > > Todd B. Kotler > > Attorney and Counselor at Law > > PO Box 2041 > > Massillon, Ohio 44646-2041 > > > > 330-777-0065 Phone / Fax / Voicemail > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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