Re: School Trip Denial

[Guest guest]

Oh that is JUST WRONG! If your husband is going with him there should be no problem.

Tracey

In a message dated 4/7/2009 8:44:32 P.M. Central Daylight Time (Mexi, wong_brianandrew8@... writes:

I would get a psychologist to defend you. Also look up other cases. Like Bill Gates. Other famous people on the autism spectrumSincerely, A. Wong

From: jrushen <jrushen >Subject: ( ) School Trip Denial Date: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 8:08 PM

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me to write. What do you all think?Jan

Worried about job security? Check out the 5 safest jobs in a recession.

[Guest guest]

>

> My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he

thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me

to write.

Yes, you are right it is discriminatory. I think you and your husband should

fight it. If he has an iep, I don't think they are supposed to discipline him

without holding a meeting with the appropriate people to determine if the action

was caused by disability or not. Sounds like they are not doing that. Sorry, I

can't remember details of everyone's kid's situations. Does he have an iep?

Has a fba been done? How to handle these types of things should also be written

out on an fba. There should be a plan! It sounds to me like they are being

maybe a little retributive and maybe just don't want to deal with him. Does he

behave on field trips? If not, will he have an aide? Just my thoughts. Good

luck!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

I would get a psychologist to defend you. Also look up other cases. Like Bill Gates. Other famous people on the autism spectrumSincerely, A. WongFrom: jrushen <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) School Trip Denial Date: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 8:08

PM

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to.

Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too!

But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge.

My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me to write.

What do you all think?

Jan

[Guest guest]

-Honestly? it made my blood pressure jump 20 points! How DARE they? Oh this is

wrong on so many levels!

#1. Why did the school allow you to purchase tickets f they were going to punish

him in this manner?

#2. if this is in fact a punishment, why wasn't it given at the time of the

offense?

#3. How many times can they punish him for one offense?

#4. They want YOU to write and explain what?? How you are going to parent your

child???

#5. They are aware of his disability yet, they are treating him as a NT child??

#6. EVERYONE knows Aspies have trouble with socialization and yet, they are

punishing him by removing SOCIAL priviledges??

Is there anyone at this shcool with half a brain??

I would demand they institute a better disipline policy.

Carol

-- In , " jrushen " <jrushen@...> wrote:

>

> Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying

they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ

Aquarium. Why because he was in " fix it " and one day out of school

suspension...I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to.

>

> Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers...I didn't

fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he

loves the fix it room and being home was great too!

>

> But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first

dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the

park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when

they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge.

>

> My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he

thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me

to write.

>

>

> What do you all think?

>

> Jan

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, my son has an IEP and they did a FBA again this year and just finished the behavior plan and my husband was going on the trip too! Now, I am afraid my son will give up and not go. I asked him what he thought of getting the notice and he said I don't care.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School Trip Denial Date: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 8:53 PM

>> My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me to write. Yes, you are right it is discriminatory. I think you and your husband should fight it. If he has an iep, I don't think they are supposed to discipline him without holding a meeting with the appropriate people to determine if the action was caused by disability or not. Sounds like they are not doing that. Sorry, I can't remember details of everyone's kid's situations. Does he have an iep? Has a fba been done? How to handle these types of things should also be written out on an fba. There should be a plan! It sounds

to me like they are being maybe a little retributive and maybe just don't want to deal with him. Does he behave on field trips? If not, will he have an aide? Just my thoughts. Good luck!Ruth

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

I think it is actually illegal (under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) for public schools to punish students for behavior that is a manifestation of their disability. Here's a website about it:

http://randychapman.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/discipline-and-disability-determining-when-a-childs-misbehavior-in-school-is-related-to-their-disability/

It's quite clear that your son is being punished for his past behavior by being excluded from the field trip, especially if his father was planning to go along. I think you should write a letter to the school principal, with copies to the school superintendent in your district, pointing out that their decision to exclude him is illegal, and saying you would hate to have to resort to legal action to get them to change their minds. I have used this tactic in the past and it usually works.

Good luck!

Jill

[Guest guest]

You know Roxanna...you make a great Advocate...when you write it down..it all makes sense to me...I guess I was tired of fighting...but I guess that is what I have to do and I am going to print out your note and make additional comments to it...so I go in fully charged.

Ha Ha!

God Bless YOU......You are the BEST! Thank you ...Thank you!!!!

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) School Trip Denial"Asperger" < >Date: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 3:07 PM

First, do not let these instances pass without comment. DO fight them every single time. You want them to connect his behavior to his disability and to understand that this is a social disability. This is not to excuse his behavior but to get them to recognize this as a severe problem that he needs help with.

Remember Lavoie's discussions about how to deal with social problems? He uses an example of being at someone's house for dinner and their dd said something inappropriate. The father yelled at her and sent her to her room. When things calmed down, he asked Lavoie what HE would have done in that situation. Lavoie replied that just as we wouldn't scream, yell and send kids to their room for not getting the answer to a math problem correct, we shouldn't do that for these social deficit problems. What would we do if she had missed a problem in math? We would have her redo it and explain to her where she was doing it wrong. We want her to LEARN so that next time, she doesn't make the same mistake. It is the same with social problems.

Here are some things I would recommend you do:

Every single time he gets in trouble, go to bat for him. Go to them, explain things from his perspective because he can't. Advocate for him. No, you are NOT excusing his behavior. But he isn't going to learn the traditional way. Punishing him does not change his behavior because, like math problems, he has to learn how to solve problems socially. And that isn't going to fall from the sky and land on his head anytime soon.

Every single time he gets in trouble, meet, advocate, mention words like "discrimination" a lot, and write follow up letters. Document all incidents. Request help, request an aide, request social skills be taught to him as HE needs it, not just a lunch bunch (which are nice) but specific step by step learning in science of social human interaction!

Argue against detention or suspension each and every single time. This is because he is not going to learn from these punishments. He hasn't yet! (Ask who is the slow learner here, as Lavoie puts it! lol) He needs a different approach due to his disability. He needs concrete cause and effect, he needs help navigating the social world he is caught in and only then, can he really have control over his reactions to the bullying behavior.

I would make a case that separates a "bully" or "brat" from someone who is socially disabled. The behaviors might look similar or the same. But the problem is different and so is the solution. Be his advocate no matter what!

Find out the school board policy on sped kids and field trips. They will say they can refuse him access because of his behaviors. But if you make a long paper trail showing that the behavior is related to his disability and that the behavior is due to disability harrassment, then you can manuever around these things.

Ask for an aide every time. My ds had an aide in in 7th through 10th grade. He doesn't need one now. But he really needed one in middle school because those kids were awful. Maybe it's the age or stage of development. Maybe it's the way the school is run? I don't know. But the kids were torturous and when they tripped my ds on purpose, he went "nuts" on them, then got in trouble for fighting. He wasn't upset that they tripped him. He was holding the science class lizard and when he fell, the tail fell off. He was beyond upset by that. In addition, he couldn't help fighting when the kid who tripped him ran forward and started pummeling him with his fists. Now, they said, "Oh they both are suspended" but we argued successfully to get him an aide and also got rid of his suspension. My ds is not a behavior problem and he wasn't then either. But

he would react to what was happening to him and I let them know that someone could have been seriously hurt (my ds or someone else in that room.) They had no adults in the area either. That only heightened my curiosity. I wanted to talk to the adults who were in charge, I want to know what was seen and where the adults were. (uhm....there were no adults...it was indoor recess time...blah blah blah.) Longer story shorter, he got an aide and we never had these problems again.

Keep track of his suspensions even when they are at school or in that stupid class (fix it class?) Anytime he is taken out of his normal class schedule for punishment, count it.

Request an FBA and a positive BP be put together asap! Yes, they've done that but it isn't working. So either you've got to change the BP because it doesn't work or you have to change the supports to make the current one actually work. It is ridiculous to have a kid who has an FBA and BP get suspended for the same problems. To me, it just says in bright red letters, "BP IS NOT WORKING." So I would want to see the FBA and if it is accurate and describes his problems and needs. I would want to go over the BP and decide what needs changing or tweeking to make it work.

Also, here are two links, just for starters.

http://www.listen- up.org/rights2/ osep16.htm

http://www.mcandrew slaw.com/ articles/ disability_ harassment2_ 17_09.pdf

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) School Trip Denial

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for

me to write. What do you all think?Jan

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.45/2045 - Release Date: 04/07/09 06:41:00

[Guest guest]

Someone will take those pompons away from me someday. lol. Go Jan!

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) School Trip Denial

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for me to write. What do you all think?Jan

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.45/2045 - Release Date: 04/07/09 06:41:00

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.49/2050 - Release Date: 04/09/09 10:27:00

[Guest guest]

I am agoing ...as long as I have you behind me...I am going fully charged and super charged and fully loaded with information on my son's rights!!!!!

Love and Hugs ..thank you all and keep those pom poms flying!!!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Roxanna <madideas@zoomintern et.net>Subject: Re: ( ) School Trip Denial"Asperger" < >Date: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 3:07 PM

First, do not let these instances pass without comment. DO fight them every single time. You want them to connect his behavior to his disability and to understand that this is a social disability. This is not to excuse his behavior but to get them to recognize this as a severe problem that he needs help with.

Remember Lavoie's discussions about how to deal with social problems? He uses an example of being at someone's house for dinner and their dd said something inappropriate. The father yelled at her and sent her to her room. When things calmed down, he asked Lavoie what HE would have done in that situation. Lavoie replied that just as we wouldn't scream, yell and send kids to their room for not getting the answer to a math problem correct, we shouldn't do that for these social deficit problems. What would we do if she had missed a problem in math? We would have her redo it and explain to her where she was doing it wrong. We want her to LEARN so that next time, she doesn't make the same mistake. It is the same with social problems.

Here are some things I would recommend you do:

Every single time he gets in trouble, go to bat for him. Go to them, explain things from his perspective because he can't. Advocate for him. No, you are NOT excusing his behavior. But he isn't going to learn the traditional way. Punishing him does not change his behavior because, like math problems, he has to learn how to solve problems socially. And that isn't going to fall from the sky and land on his head anytime soon.

Every single time he gets in trouble, meet, advocate, mention words like "discrimination" a lot, and write follow up letters. Document all incidents. Request help, request an aide, request social skills be taught to him as HE needs it, not just a lunch bunch (which are nice) but specific step by step learning in science of social human interaction!

Argue against detention or suspension each and every single time. This is because he is not going to learn from these punishments. He hasn't yet! (Ask who is the slow learner here, as Lavoie puts it! lol) He needs a different approach due to his disability. He needs concrete cause and effect, he needs help navigating the social world he is caught in and only then, can he really have control over his reactions to the bullying behavior. I would make a case that separates a "bully" or "brat" from someone who is socially disabled. The behaviors might look similar or the same. But the problem is different and so is the solution. Be his advocate no matter what!

Find out the school board policy on sped kids and field trips. They will say they can refuse him access because of his behaviors. But if you make a long paper trail showing that the behavior is related to his disability and that the behavior is due to disability harrassment, then you can manuever around these things.

Ask for an aide every time. My ds had an aide in in 7th through 10th grade. He doesn't need one now. But he really needed one in middle school because those kids were awful. Maybe it's the age or stage of development. Maybe it's the way the school is run? I don't know. But the kids were torturous and when they tripped my ds on purpose, he went "nuts" on them, then got in trouble for fighting. He wasn't upset that they tripped him. He was holding the science class lizard and when he fell, the tail fell off. He was beyond upset by that. In addition, he couldn't help fighting when the kid who tripped him ran forward and started pummeling him with his fists. Now, they said, "Oh they both are suspended" but we argued successfully to get him an aide and also got rid of his suspension. My ds is not a behavior problem and he wasn't then either. But

he would react to what was happening to him and I let them know that someone could have been seriously hurt (my ds or someone else in that room.) They had no adults in the area either. That only heightened my curiosity. I wanted to talk to the adults who were in charge, I want to know what was seen and where the adults were. (uhm....there were no adults...it was indoor recess time...blah blah blah.) Longer story shorter, he got an aide and we never had these problems again.

Keep track of his suspensions even when they are at school or in that stupid class (fix it class?) Anytime he is taken out of his normal class schedule for punishment, count it.

Request an FBA and a positive BP be put together asap! Yes, they've done that but it isn't working. So either you've got to change the BP because it doesn't work or you have to change the supports to make the current one actually work. It is ridiculous to have a kid who has an FBA and BP get suspended for the same problems. To me, it just says in bright red letters, "BP IS NOT WORKING." So I would want to see the FBA and if it is accurate and describes his problems and needs. I would want to go over the BP and decide what needs changing or tweeking to make it work.

Also, here are two links, just for starters.

http://www.listen- up.org/rights2/ osep16.htm

http://www.mcandrew slaw.com/ articles/ disability_ harassment2_ 17_09.pdf

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) School Trip Denial

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for

me to write. What do you all think?Jan

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.45/2045 - Release Date: 04/07/09 06:41:00

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.49/2050 - Release Date: 04/09/09 10:27:00

[Guest guest]

Dear Roxanna,

I must add my congratulations to Jan's for your very focused, useful advice

on just what she has to do to combat the school system's discrimination

against her son. Everything you said is right on!

And Jan, we were lucky that our experience with my son's school wasn't as

bad as yours -- but that doesn't mean that either he or we had an easy time.

There were many times when teachers who misunderstood his disability would

punish him (or tell me they were going to punish him) for behaviors that

were the result of his disability. These ranged from screaming in a

teacher's ear when she wouldn't let him into her classroom for an

after-school activity because she was finishing a previous activity with

some other students, to walking down a hallway yelling and kicking at locker

doors because he was frustrated for some reason. These incidents both

happened in middle school. Things improved a great deal after our county's

autism specialist, his teachers, and I got together and worked out a

positive behavior plan. It included drawing up a written list of the

behaviors they wanted him to adhere to (sitting in his own seat, getting out

the books and materials he needed for each class, keeping his hands to

himself, keeping his voice down in class, etc.) and and also a list of

rewards for good behavior. Each teacher would give him 0, 1, or 2 points

for his behavior in class. He had six classes. If he had 8 points or more

by the end of the day, he would get a reward at home (being allowed to play

computer games). If he had five " good " days in a row, he would get a big

reward (like being allowed to buy a book or a new computer game). He also

got a very good personal assistant around this time who helped him figure

out more acceptable ways of dealing with frustration. She also played

canasta with him during lunchtime! And he started taking a very small dose

of imipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant that seemed to curb his verbal and

physical tics and keep him from acting out when he was upset.

The same personal assistant stayed with him until the middle of 10th grade,

when she said she felt increasingly superfluous. But we still stayed in

very close touch with his teachers and the administrators at his high

school, either by e-mail or face-to-face contact. My constant message to

them was that we were all on the same side -- even when I was very angry at

someone for trying to do something unfair! I also looked for allies on the

staff to plead my son's case whenever he was in trouble.

Long story short, my son graduated last year from college and now has a job

as a software engineer with the federal government. We never would have

guessed this would happen when he was in middle school.

Good luck!

Jill

[Guest guest]

He may be able to go...but you know I think you are right...my son doesn't get to go to a lot of things but I think he really doesn't want to go...when they went to Hershey Park and his father went with him...he had a horrible time...he didn't want to go on the rides the other kids did and he ended coming home fustrated...he didn't go to the play this year in town...I think they know not to go...it is different, they are afraid, don't like new, don't like the unfamiliar....and that is why even in 7th grade...he still wants his dad there ...I think for secrurity....he acts like he is 18 sometimes and then the little 5 year old comes out and he really is 13 1/2. But AS children are generally less mature than NTs. So, if he doesn't want to go on a field trip or is denied...like going to the park...I let him stay home and do something he

wants...I figure that the other kids are out doing something...not sitting in school plus what is he going to do in school when all the other kids are not there...it works for him and me too! Especially if the school denied him...I guess it is my way of say "pooh" on you to the school. LOL

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: jmckim4184aol (DOT) com <jmckim4184aol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) School Trip Denial Date: Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 5:44 PM

Fight it!

Jean

In a message dated 4/7/2009 8:08:30 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jrushen (DOT) com writes:

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for

me to write. What do you all think?Jan

Feeling the pinch at the grocery store? Make dinner for $10 or less.

[Guest guest]

hehehe..I say pooh on the school, too...lol! =)

From: jmckim4184aol (DOT) com <jmckim4184aol (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) School Trip Denial Date: Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 5:44 PM

Fight it!

Jean

In a message dated 4/7/2009 8:08:30 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jrushen (DOT) com writes:

Well, just wonderful news I got today. My son brought home a letter saying they may deny him to go on the field trip to the Phil.Zoo and Camden NJ Aquarium. Why because he was in "fix it" and one day out of school suspension.. .I just paid $50.00 for his ticket and my husband was going to. Most of his discipline was due to actions related to his aspergers... I didn't fight the school as I felt he needs to learn he can't act this way...but he loves the fix it room and being home was great too! But I feel like this is discriminating ....he never got to go to the first dance in 5th grade and now won't go at all...they denied him the trips to the park in 5th grade and 6th. And, he doesn't go on many field trips ....like when they went to the Serman Theatre in town to see Scrooge. My husband is livid. Should I fight this? My son is suppose to write why he thinks he can't go and how he can fix things and then there is a section for

me to write. What do you all think?Jan

Feeling the pinch at the grocery store? Make dinner for $10 or less.

[Guest guest]

had one very bad trip to a farm and the whole thing was just SO badly put

together for small kids. It was just a NIGHTMARE for . The parents went

along to help with the kids and had screaming tantrums through much of it.

He was not quite 3.5 and was in a typical preschool which we left because of

some stupid stuff they did that had nothing to do with 's asperger syndrome

but which certainly set off when it didn't seem to bother the other kids.

Anyway this field trip was to a huge farm. The " exhibits " or " stations " were

all spread so far apart that the walking was too much for little legs to begin

with. Then for no sensible reason that I could discern they didn't do them in

order which made the walks even LONGER. It also meant that had to pass

things which he was interested in without actually STOPPING. The lines were

ridiculously long. Then there was a hayride that required being still in line

for about 20 minutes. eventually got under the truck carrying the hayride

to throw his tantrum and we had to grab him out. I took him home with BOTH of

us crying at that point. It was ridiculous. This wasn't the incident that made

us leave. I'll tell that in another email if anyone really wants me to tell it.

LOL.

The next year when was in a much better preschool (the public school early

childhood program) we visited another farm that had exhibits close together,

required much less waiting and no going past exhibits without examining them and

a whole classroom of disabled kids and there were no meltdowns.

has done pretty well in all of the other field trips. The hardest thing is

that can decide to walk off. So far he hasn't done that most years except

last year and I was there with the understanding that might want to explore

on his own so I let him.

I wasn't much of a chaperone but since there were TWO chaperones in our group of

6 5th graders it was fine. I wasn't considered a group chaperone, just an

chaperone.

One year he didn't want to go on a field trip to hear music. He was scared he

wouldn't like it or it would be too loud. He was actually able to TELL me that

so I gave him ear plugs which he hardly used but he had JUST IN CASE so he did

really well. He always has a 1:1 person with him here in New Hampshire so he

doesn't usually need me to be on field trips. I love taking them, however, so

I'm hoping I can go with him on one.

Miriam

>

> He may be able to go...but you know I think you are right...my son doesn't get

to go to a lot of things but I think he really doesn't want to go...when they

went to Hershey Park and his father went with him...he had a horrible time...he

didn't want to go on the rides the other kids did and he ended coming home

fustrated...he didn't go to the play this year in town...I think they know not

to go...it is different, they are afraid, don't like new, don't like the

unfamiliar....and that is why even in 7th grade...he still wants his dad there

....I think for secrurity....he acts like he is 18 sometimes and then the little

5 year old comes out and he really is 13 1/2.  But AS children are generally

less mature than NTs.  So, if he doesn't want to go on a field trip or is

denied...like going to the park...I let him stay home and do something he

wants...I figure that the other kids are out doing something...not sitting in

school plus what is he going to do in

> school when all the other kids are not there...it works for him  and me too!

Especially if the school denied him...I guess it is my way of say " pooh " on you

to the school.  LOL

>  

> Jan

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I am interested ...I would like to hear the rest of the story....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Miriam <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School Trip Denial Date: Saturday, April 11, 2009, 9:13 AM

had one very bad trip to a farm and the whole thing was just SO badly put together for small kids. It was just a NIGHTMARE for . The parents went along to help with the kids and had screaming tantrums through much of it. He was not quite 3.5 and was in a typical preschool which we left because of some stupid stuff they did that had nothing to do with 's asperger syndrome but which certainly set off when it didn't seem to bother the other kids.Anyway this field trip was to a huge farm. The "exhibits" or "stations" were all spread so far apart that the walking was too much for little legs to begin with. Then for no sensible reason that I could discern they didn't do them in order which made the walks even LONGER. It also meant that had to pass things which he was interested in without actually STOPPING. The lines were ridiculously long. Then there was a hayride that required being still in line for about 20 minutes.

eventually got under the truck carrying the hayride to throw his tantrum and we had to grab him out. I took him home with BOTH of us crying at that point. It was ridiculous. This wasn't the incident that made us leave. I'll tell that in another email if anyone really wants me to tell it. LOL.The next year when was in a much better preschool (the public school early childhood program) we visited another farm that had exhibits close together, required much less waiting and no going past exhibits without examining them and a whole classroom of disabled kids and there were no meltdowns. has done pretty well in all of the other field trips. The hardest thing is that can decide to walk off. So far he hasn't done that most years except last year and I was there with the understanding that might want to explore on his own so I let him.I wasn't much of a chaperone but since there were TWO chaperones in our group of

6 5th graders it was fine. I wasn't considered a group chaperone, just an chaperone.One year he didn't want to go on a field trip to hear music. He was scared he wouldn't like it or it would be too loud. He was actually able to TELL me that so I gave him ear plugs which he hardly used but he had JUST IN CASE so he did really well. He always has a 1:1 person with him here in New Hampshire so he doesn't usually need me to be on field trips. I love taking them, however, so I'm hoping I can go with him on one.Miriam>> He may be able to go...but you know I think you are right...my son doesn't get to go to a lot of things but I think he really doesn't want to

go...when they went to Hershey Park and his father went with him...he had a horrible time...he didn't want to go on the rides the other kids did and he ended coming home fustrated... he didn't go to the play this year in town...I think they know not to go...it is different, they are afraid, don't like new, don't like the unfamiliar.. ..and that is why even in 7th grade...he still wants his dad there ...I think for secrurity... .he acts like he is 18 sometimes and then the little 5 year old comes out and he really is 13 1/2. But AS children are generally less mature than NTs. So, if he doesn't want to go on a field trip or is denied...like going to the park...I let him stay home and do something he wants...I figure that the other kids are out doing something... not sitting in school plus what is he going to do in> school when all the other kids are not there...it works for him and me too! Especially if the school denied

him...I guess it is my way of say "pooh" on you to the school. LOL> > Jan> >