Re: PLEASE ADVISE!-younger sibling behavior difficulties

[Guest guest]

Our 6 year old is the same way right now, and he is medicated but STILL like this. He does see things one way (like most aspies) but he is instantly mad right now about things; his 5 year old brother acts about like him now (he's NT) because the 6 yr old yells loud at him and thus 5 yells back, and off we go----it is as if he has changed lately and at school, he, too, is great.

I would tell you that I am 'concerned' with your belief that he is acting up "....but to be disrespectful......" Honestly---he is NOT; this is where we have to practice, roll model, etc.; he is NOT trying to be rude. Something we have been taught to do with our son is hold him accountable instantly by asking saying something like, "Derrick, if I started screaming at you and calling you a stupid idiot right now, how would you feel?" And, is it nice to call names? What would happen at school? We have been told to show him other places and such and then attach it to him so he can start thinking differently about it; remember, these kiddos (often most of them--not all I am sure) believe that we know everything they do, so we are driving them nuts, too but they are NOT doing it on purpose. It does get better.

I would suggest meds if not doing them already (or at least CONSIDERING them), therapy (if not already), O.T. (if not already---our son is headed back to it again now--he was in it once for about 9 months and he, too, is struggling right now)----and patience; hang in there, Rada!!

Also, there IS light at the end of the tunnel; our son also got a waiver through the state about 2 months ago, and he has been learning and improving soooo much; he even voluntarily comes up and gives me hugs and kisses now (he has NEVER, EVER done that) and he has started to swallow his pills without chewing or dumping them in-----so, we are grateful for other's help, too; he will listen to them but we are still the parents!!!! That is NORMAL for all kids though!

Ruthie Dolezal

( ) PLEASE ADVISE!-younger sibling behavior difficulties

Hello,I am the mother of a 10-year-old with Aspergers. His younger brother is 6 years old and is neurotypical. I am having some disturbing behavior difficulties with my younger son. He is aware that his older brother has some "differences" that cause him to have difficulty at some times. Both of them love each other and have been raised in a loving, caring, Christian home. I have always tried to encourage them to love each other and take care of each other, and they have always had the normal sibling squabbles. But overall, they have had many more good times together than bad.In the past few months, my 6-year-old has become defiant and aggressive. Not 24-7, but often enough that it is alarming to me. He has never had this difficulty in the past. He is normally very loving. Most of his verbal and physical aggression is aimed at his older brother. The physical aggression towards me is not meant to hurt me, but to be disrespectful (ex., walking by me and giving a little push when he's angry). Thankfully, he has not had any problems at school!Please, if there is anyone who has had this experience with your own children, I would GREATLY appreciate any input you can give me about how you handled this situation. Or if some of you have ideas about what my help or books that you know of that specifically address aspergers and younger sibling issues, I would welcome those also.Thanks so much for listening,Rada

[Guest guest]

My (almost) 5 year old (NT) has started picking on his 8 1/2 year old

(aspie) brother. He likes to sit next to him and poke him in the ribs

or tickle him a little at a time until he tantrums. In our case he is

acting out for attention. It's like " Hey! Look what I can do!! "

In all honesty what has helped the most is family counseling.

---K

>

> Hello,

>

> I am the mother of a 10-year-old with Aspergers. His younger brother

> is 6 years old and is neurotypical. I am having some disturbing

> behavior difficulties with my younger son. He is aware that his

> older brother has some " differences " that cause him to have

> difficulty at some times. Both of them love each other and have been

> raised in a loving, caring, Christian home. I have always tried to

> encourage them to love each other and take care of each other, and

> they have always had the normal sibling squabbles. But overall, they

> have had many more good times together than bad.

>

> In the past few months, my 6-year-old has become defiant and

> aggressive. Not 24-7, but often enough that it is alarming to me.

> He has never had this difficulty in the past. He is normally very

> loving. Most of his verbal and physical aggression is aimed at his

> older brother. The physical aggression towards me is not meant to

> hurt me, but to be disrespectful (ex., walking by me and giving a

> little push when he's angry). Thankfully, he has not had any

> problems at school!

>

> Please, if there is anyone who has had this experience with your own

> children, I would GREATLY appreciate any input you can give me about

> how you handled this situation. Or if some of you have ideas about

> what my help or books that you know of that specifically address

> aspergers and younger sibling issues, I would welcome those also.

>

> Thanks so much for listening,

> Rada

>