Re: Re: School Trip Denial-Jill

[Guest guest]

Jill,

OMG...Thank you too!!!!!!!!!! Your post is Wonderful and I am so happy for You and Your Son...Wow! Tell him please that I am very very very very PROUD of him and happy for the two of you. You just gave me a Ray of Sunshine on a VERY gloomy day...God Bless you and keep you.

When you wrote what things your son did...(now this might sound odd..strange) ...you helped me realized...that what my son is doing is not that different...but they are looking at him as a "terrible" student...a "bad" kid ...punk...whatever...and he may come across that way because he has picked up a lot of "bad" habits and vocabulary from all those around him. The difference is that they know when and where to use certain words ...he doesn't. And, he gets so fustrated. They perceive his as a kid with an "attitude". He slouches in the chairs, wears his pants too loose (he hates anything tight), and hangs with the wrong bunch ...

But in short...you gave me hope. I just emailed the school after receiving Roxanna's so "perfect" post and reiterated what she said and I suggested we look for an aide for him. I think the right person would be good for him...to work with him as the aide did with your son.

Anyways...thank you. And, Happy Easter to all!!!

Jan

feeling soooooooooooooo much better

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Jill Kern <JillBKern@...>Subject: ( ) Re: School Trip Denial Date: Friday, April 10, 2009, 7:22 AM

Dear Roxanna,I must add my congratulations to Jan's for your very focused, useful adviceon just what she has to do to combat the school system's discriminationagainst her son. Everything you said is right on!And Jan, we were lucky that our experience with my son's school wasn't asbad as yours -- but that doesn't mean that either he or we had an easy time.There were many times when teachers who misunderstood his disability wouldpunish him (or tell me they were going to punish him) for behaviors thatwere the result of his disability. These ranged from screaming in ateacher's ear when she wouldn't let him into her classroom for anafter-school activity because she was finishing a previous activity withsome other students, to walking down a hallway yelling and kicking at lockerdoors because he was frustrated for some reason. These incidents bothhappened in middle school. Things improved a great deal

after our county'sautism specialist, his teachers, and I got together and worked out apositive behavior plan. It included drawing up a written list of thebehaviors they wanted him to adhere to (sitting in his own seat, getting outthe books and materials he needed for each class, keeping his hands tohimself, keeping his voice down in class, etc.) and and also a list ofrewards for good behavior. Each teacher would give him 0, 1, or 2 pointsfor his behavior in class. He had six classes. If he had 8 points or moreby the end of the day, he would get a reward at home (being allowed to playcomputer games). If he had five "good" days in a row, he would get a bigreward (like being allowed to buy a book or a new computer game). He alsogot a very good personal assistant around this time who helped him figureout more acceptable ways of dealing with frustration. She also playedcanasta with him during lunchtime! And

he started taking a very small doseof imipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant that seemed to curb his verbal andphysical tics and keep him from acting out when he was upset.The same personal assistant stayed with him until the middle of 10th grade,when she said she felt increasingly superfluous. But we still stayed invery close touch with his teachers and the administrators at his highschool, either by e-mail or face-to-face contact. My constant message tothem was that we were all on the same side -- even when I was very angry atsomeone for trying to do something unfair! I also looked for allies on thestaff to plead my son's case whenever he was in trouble.Long story short, my son graduated last year from college and now has a jobas a software engineer with the federal government. We never would haveguessed this would happen when he was in middle school.Good

luck!Jill