Inappropriate behaviors and anxiety

[Guest guest]

Hi Group,

I'm looking for your ideas.

Our daughter presents as anxious some days/times at home. She is

four years old, and diagnosed with Aspergers and is also undergoing

treatment for Sensory Integration. Sometimes she is " calm-alert " but

at other times she gets hyper or anxious. We are faithfully

completing her sensory diet. Her OT is going to try Cranial Sacral

therapy for the first time this week, which she thinks may help with

anxiety.

Her anxiety is often in regards to her 18-month old brother getting

her stuff. (her room, which is off-limits to him and she closes the

door regularly; her toy she's playing with at the time or her drink

etc.) We are consistent with giving her support if he interferes or

gets in her space, and vice versa. We work on turn taking and

waiting until one child is finished with a toy before the other can

use it.

At other times she is also anxious/demanding towards us, her

parents. She panics and wants things a certain way. She is very

controlling.

Some of the inappropriate things she does when she's anxious and not

calm/alert is screaming, grabbing objects, pushing brother. Also an

issue with throwing objects but it could be caused by sensory needs

which we are working on.

So, what do we do to help her to be calm, besides the sensory

things? Could this be a stage which she'll grow out of?

How do we address the negative behaviors? We use consequences, but

I'll admit it hasn't been consistent because I'm not convinced that

she always knows what she's doing, or could control these reactions.

She can go from playing calmly to a sudden anxious and impulsive

reaction after a trigger. Or she could be in a general state of

anxiety, about to tantrum, at which point I try to do calming sensory

things.

I really appreciate your ideas. Medication is the last thing we

would want to consider, especially at this young age. My husband has

also not accepted the diagnosis yet.

[Guest guest]

First off, you are wrong. One of the symptoms of Asperger's deals with their

inability to understand " normal " social cues, expectations and behavior. She

truly hasn't a clue that her behavior is inappropriate and not acceptable to

non-Aspie population.

Consistency is key to helping these kids.

The consequence must fit the crime. Remember one thing: these kids have no

sense

of time. Grounding, for example, should not be as long as other kids.

Explain the rationale of all expectations. Never assume they know. THEY don't.

Too much activities, commotion, noise will cause anxiety. Watch for triggers

that tend to

make her worse.

Their memories are not that great. This means you will need to sound like a

parrot

and repeat it again, and again, and again until they get it. However, a

bright side to

this. Once they get it they don't forget.

Aspies have a hard time reading faces and social cues. They need help to

recognize these

things. So keep that in mind.

The above will help decrease anxiety. Also try pressure on her body to help

decrease her

anxiety. Many parents will buy or make a vest or sorts with weights in it

that " hug " the

body to calm the child through the day. So, see if just holding her tightly

for a moment

ot two as you explain why her behavior is not appropriate. You may need to

really

break it down into " Do you remember how YOU felt when .......... " or " If

you were

(doing such and such) put her in the other shoe ... would you feel sad or

happy if

(whomever) did such and such to you? "

There is a little to consider. <g>

Dee

>

> Hi Group,

>

> I'm looking for your ideas.

> .........snip...........................

So, what do we do to help her to be calm, besides the sensory

things? Could this be a stage which she'll grow out of?

How do we address the negative behaviors? We use consequences, but

I'll admit it hasn't been consistent because I'm not convinced that

she always knows what she's doing, or could control these reactions.

>

>

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