Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 My wife and I are parents of a soon to be 14 year old girl that has been diagnosed with Aspergers. Our therapist recommended reading Tony Attwood's book and it has been a real eye opener. We could have written many of the chapters based on our experience. All through Elementary School she was an all A student and her issues really surfaced when she attended our Middle School (Grades 6-8) gifted program within our public school system. We couldn't understand why she couldn't turn in her homework and read in class. Through Tony's book we are now starting to understand. We are now starting discussions with her school and wanted to know if you had suggestions on what has worked with dealing with the homework issue and specifically organizational skills? She is going to begin CBT with her therapist and we hope this will help her develop coping skills. Thanks...Jeff Dentler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 Wow! I hope that's what happens with , too! She is a freshman. In her science class, her teacher told me that has over a 100% average (extra credit!) on her tests, but because she doesn't do her homework or turn it in, she is only getting a 48%! refuses to write in her planner. When I ask her if she has homework, she tells me no. I don't know anything about it until the school starts calling me. had 5 chapters of homework to do in science class! The end of the marking period is this week. She was supposed to stay after school for help but all she did was get the assignments from the teacher and leave. I made stay up until 10 pm on Thursday night to get through as many chapters as she could, but she didn't finish all of it. I called the school on Friday to talk to the school therapist and she said she would talk to the teacher because at least is showing an effort. She has to have everything finished by tomorrow. She hasn't started on anything yet. So I'm going to have to start yelling at her soon. She just went for a walk. Arrgh!!! She is so frustrating. had trouble with her combo lock so they gave her a locker with a key, but she lost the key, even though it's on a long chain, I guess it's called a lanyard. She finally found it again. She has no clue where her house key is. We just had a new door put up and I don't want to give her the extra key because I know she'll lose it. Deb In a message dated 1/13/08 10:54:34 AM Eastern Standard Time, @... writes: Just adding a comment to 's great ones: With my son, I told the school that when it comes to organization, don't expect it. It's something we continually work on (and by middle school, that's HOW many years??) but that I didn't want his grades affected by his *not* being organized (having some notebook he's supposed to keep up, teacher looks at, etc.). Good news - for some reason in high school (maybe 9th grade...but 10th for sure), he suddenly kept it all organized! It was like a miracle to me, LOL. He's 19 now, first year in college. Debbie Salerno Maine Coon Rescue Board Member DNA Manager Eastern Regional Director Vice President www.mainecoonrescue.com ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ http://www.animalrescuelinks.org **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 Jeff, My daughter Alyssa is 14 and was diagnosed with Asperger's right after 5th grade. It took us a while to get our head around it, but there's no question she's classic. Sixth grade was a complete disaster for her organizationally. Seventh was marginally better. Her mom and I put her into a public school for 8th grade and this year she's really thrived! I wish I could attribute it to great parenting but it really came from her own internal motivation. She now gets all her homework done and I basically don't see it. Does your school have kids put assignments down in assignment books? If not, get one and enlist her teachers' help in getting her to fill it out properly. Also work with her on extremely basic organization. Get a homework folder where she puts incomplete assignments on the left, finished ones on the right, and the folder goes with her to every class. Alyssa never used to turn in homework, either, and her grades were awful as a result. The key thing will be teacher support, therapist support (having a third party harp on her about organization will likely help, too), and social worker support at school. Organizational things that seem simple to us might need to be explicitly work out and reinforced many times a day for a long time before it sticks. I'm glad your daughter was diagnosed! It's so easy for girls to get missed since Aspergers presents differently in them. I'm happy to help in any way either on or off list. > > My wife and I are parents of a soon to be 14 year old girl that has > been diagnosed with Aspergers. Our therapist recommended reading Tony > Attwood's book and it has been a real eye opener. We could have > written many of the chapters based on our experience. All through > Elementary School she was an all A student and her issues really > surfaced when she attended our Middle School (Grades 6-8) gifted > program within our public school system. We couldn't understand why she > couldn't turn in her homework and read in class. Through Tony's book > we are now starting to understand. We are now starting discussions > with her school and wanted to know if you had suggestions on what has > worked with dealing with the homework issue and specifically > organizational skills? She is going to begin CBT with her therapist > and we hope this will help her develop coping skills. > > Thanks...Jeff Dentler > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 Just adding a comment to 's great ones: With my son, I told the school that when it comes to organization, don't expect it. It's something we continually work on (and by middle school, that's HOW many years??) but that I didn't want his grades affected by his *not* being organized (having some notebook he's supposed to keep up, teacher looks at, etc.). Good news - for some reason in high school (maybe 9th grade...but 10th for sure), he suddenly kept it all organized! It was like a miracle to me, LOL. He's 19 now, first year in college. > > Jeff, > > My daughter Alyssa is 14 and was diagnosed with Asperger's right > after 5th grade. It took us a while to get our head around it, but > there's no question she's classic. Sixth grade was a complete > disaster for her organizationally. Seventh was marginally better. Her > mom and I put her into a public school for 8th grade and this year > she's really thrived! I wish I could attribute it to great parenting > but it really came from her own internal motivation. She now gets all > her homework done and I basically don't see it. > > Does your school have kids put assignments down in assignment books? > If not, get one and enlist her teachers' help in getting her to fill > it out properly. Also work with her on extremely basic organization. > Get a homework folder where she puts incomplete assignments on the > left, finished ones on the right, and the folder goes with her to > every class. Alyssa never used to turn in homework, either, and her > grades were awful as a result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 needs more help at school throughout the school year to make sure she is getting her work in on time. There are so many reasons why these kids will fall behind and not do it/get it done. But because it is part of her disability, she should be getting help. Someone can check in with her to help "chunk" assignments on a regular basis. Maybe she could spend study hall with a tutor or her special ed teacher in order to accomplish this? You should get it put in her IEP that all teachers need to report daily or weekly if she is missing anything. Sometimes the sped teacher will gather that information and take care of it. If not, have them email you. This is such a common problem for kids with AS. If you look up "Executive Function" or "executive dysfunction" you should come up with some good articles discussing these exact problems. One of my pet peeves in life is giving a kid a bad grade because they have a disability and not because they earned it. The grade needs to reflect what they know and can do and not the fact that they have a disability. RoxannaAutism Happens Re: ( ) Re: Girls and Aspergers Wow! I hope that's what happens with , too! She is a freshman. In her science class, her teacher told me that has over a 100% average (extra credit!) on her tests, but because she doesn't do her homework or turn it in, she is only getting a 48%! refuses to write in her planner. When I ask her if she has homework, she tells me no. I don't know anything about it until the school starts calling me. had 5 chapters of homework to do in science class! The end of the marking period is this week. She was supposed to stay after school for help but all she did was get the assignments from the teacher and leave. I made stay up until 10 pm on Thursday night to get through as many chapters as she could, but she didn't finish all of it. I called the school on Friday to talk to the school therapist and she said she would talk to the teacher because at least is showing an effort. She has to have everything finished by tomorrow. She hasn't started on anything yet. So I'm going to have to start yelling at her soon. She just went for a walk. Arrgh!!! She is so frustrating. had trouble with her combo lock so they gave her a locker with a key, but she lost the key, even though it's on a long chain, I guess it's called a lanyard. She finally found it again. She has no clue where her house key is. We just had a new door put up and I don't want to give her the extra key because I know she'll lose it.DebIn a message dated 1/13/08 10:54:34 AM Eastern Standard Time, hotmail writes: Just adding a comment to 's great ones: With my son, I told the school that when it comes to organization, don't expect it. It's something we continually work on (and by middle school, that's HOW many years??) but that I didn't want his grades affected by his *not* being organized (having some notebook he's supposed to keep up, teacher looks at, etc.). Good news - for some reason in high school (maybe 9th grade...but 10th for sure), he suddenly kept it all organized! It was like a miracle to me, LOL. He's 19 now, first year in college.Debbie SalernoMaine Coon RescueBoard MemberDNA ManagerEastern Regional DirectorVice Presidentwww.mainecoonrescue.com ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.- Ralph Waldo Emerson~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~http://www.animalrescuelinks.org**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 I am going to call another IEP meeting. Our problem now is that our case manager keeps changing. When started high school, they switched us from Dr. Hamilton to Mrs. Sankpal - Mrs. Sankpal said she had a lot of experience dealing with AS. Unfortunately for us, she was pregnant and had a hard time - she delivered a premature baby and the baby is still in the hospital. So I've only ever spoken to her twice. Then they switched us to Mrs. Healy for about a month. Then to another case manager, and that one left today. So I don't know who we will be getting now. But the school therapist is really a big help. She went and spoke to 's teachers - 's teacher told her she handed the assignments in on time. As far as I know, she doesn't have any other homework this week! On another note - a boy in 's special ed English class asked her to the prom! But doesn't like him so she told him no. Deb In a message dated 1/15/08 9:06:44 AM Eastern Standard Time, madideas@... writes: needs more help at school throughout the school year to make sure she is getting her work in on time. There are so many reasons why these kids will fall behind and not do it/get it done. But because it is part of her disability, she should be getting help. Someone can check in with her to help "chunk" assignments on a regular basis. Maybe she could spend study hall with a tutor or her special ed teacher in order to accomplish this? You should get it put in her IEP that all teachers need to report daily or weekly if she is missing anything. Sometimes the sped teacher will gather that information and take care of it. If not, have them email you. This is such a common problem for kids with AS. If you look up "Executive Function" or "executive dysfunction" you should come up with some good articles discussing these exact problems. One of my pet peeves in life is giving a kid a bad grade because they have a disability and not because they earned it. The grade needs to reflect what they know and can do and not the fact that they have a disability. Roxanna Autism Happens ----- Original Message ----- Debbie Salerno Maine Coon Rescue Board Member DNA Manager Eastern Regional Director Vice President www.mainecoonrescue.com ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ http://www.animalrescuelinks.org **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hi, Jeff! It's frustrating, isn't it? She has more papers at home that look like homework to me! I asked her when they are due (she didn't write it down next to due date) and she said not yet! Makes me crazy. I like the idea of the school letting me know what she's missing. That's what I told the school therapist - I don't know if they don't tell me! She agreed . :-) Deb In a message dated 1/13/08 6:40:04 PM Eastern Standard Time, dent804@... writes: After I read your email, I called my wife into read it because this is exactly what we go through marking period after marking period. I empathize with you and completely understand the frustration you are encountering. We continue to ask for weekly updates on missing assignments so we do not have to complete a semesters worth of work in a week. Glad to hear we are not alone. Jeff Dentler Debbie Salerno Maine Coon Rescue Board Member DNA Manager Eastern Regional Director Vice President www.mainecoonrescue.com ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ http://www.animalrescuelinks.org **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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