Bad night

[Guest guest]

YEah I know exactly what you mean Aisha,

You have a pretty name by the way.

Mike

[Guest guest]

"i was thinking today of what life was like 3-4 years ago - when i was areal person.... it's amazing when i think about what i did then..."

To me that seems like another world. I often wonder if that ever was me and if I ever did live that life..??

Love A.

[Guest guest]

You have a pretty name by the way.Thank you!! Aisha means Alive and Well... (heres hoping!) and Woman in Arabic (not that I am, Arabic I mean! LOL - I'm an Ozztraalian gal)

Thinking of you mike... I shall dash and get those candles lit for you my friend! Hang in there - oh I sent your first letter to my immunologist too.. he is one smart cookie so hopefully he can help - gang if you are all awake dash to the chat room!! LOL I have to dash - got too much to do as always! *HUGS TO YOU ALL*

Love ya all

Aisha.

[Guest guest]

Mike,

What symptoms bother you the most? Are you getting any relief? I

promise to call my GI - Dr. Sandborn (at Mayo) in the am to see if he has

any referrals - what big city are you near?

janalise

At 05:01 AM 4/24/00 -0400, you wrote:

YEah I know exactly what you mean Aisha,

You have a pretty name by the way.

Mike

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[Guest guest]

,

I wish there was something I could say or do. But there is nothing.

Your pain is tremendous - I can not even fathom it.

When people do not know what to say and how to say it, they end up saying

stupid things. Like your sister and Matty's toys.

Hell, I am probably doing the same.

My point is only that it hurts like no pain anyone can imagine. But we will

listen, we will cry with you, we will send you love. We can not fill your

arms. Oh how I wish we could take that pain away.

Sweetie, is there a support group in your area for people who have lost

children? I know there is one where I live and my friends said it helped

them tremedounsly.

You may not be ready for the full group just yet, but there might be someone

who can talk to you who will truly understand.

My heart is bleeding for you. For Matty. You are in my prayers. I wish I

could hold you and give you a shoulder to cry on. To let you let it out and

quit being the strong one. You do not need to take care of the others, just

yourself and the girls. Tell your sister to go suck eggs. And anyone else.

Do not tell people it is OK. Tell them it hurts like hell but you are taking

it hour by hour and if they insist on " cheering you up " , tell them to go take

a flying leap at the moon. They do not understand. But you do not have to

comfort anyone except the girls.

I am here for you, we are all here for you.

Love, hugs and prayers

Jo

[Guest guest]

Hi

-

I

know that you don't know me real well, as I just joined this group.

But I read your letter about your bad night tonight, it made me cry.

Although, I am beginning to feel like I found my "calling in life" as a

professional crier!

I

can NOT tell you that I know how you feel right now. Your baby was

over a year right? That is a long time to bond with your child, and

then suddenly lose him, even if you knew it could happen at anytime.

I was able to hold my kids for their entire young lives...

was about 20 minutes old when he died, and e was 4 hours

old when she died. But I got to hold them for their ENTIRE lives,

I was told they would be stillborn, and that they had NO hope for survival,

so that is why I got to bond with them without having the nurses and doctors

take them away from me to do the whole resuscitation thing! No one

knew why they were born alive!!

I

am truly appalled that your sister would have the "balls" to ask for 's

toys 15 days after his death. I'd be appalled even if she asked 6

months later, without even trying to show some compassion. You lost

your child!!! And giving away his things is totally up to you, and

for you to do when you are ready, even if that time never comes!

It is something that you can hold on to, since you can no longer hold on

to him! I am so sorry, that you lost your baby!

I

kind of feel like my crying over wanting to be a Mom is rubbing salt in

your wounds, and I hope that you don't think I am. I cry for my children

from the past, and I cry LOTS for the child I pray to have in the future.

I just do not want to make you feel worse!!

Do

you grieve for with your girls? I am sure that they are really

missing their little brother!!! If you are holding it all in,

then they may also be doing it too. And it could be more detrimental

to all of you, to keep all those feelings inside. I know that it

is going to be hard, but now or later it will always be hard!

I

know that when I was still working as a paramedic, and we would respond

to calls involving children. Even if we had NEVER before seen this

child or their family... if that child was critically injured or even died

no matter what we did... after the call, and usually for days following

the call, we would grieve for that child too.

Children

are innocent, and the innocent should not die! But since no one really

has any control over "Life" for anyone including themselves, we just have

to work on living one day at a time until it doesn't hurt so badly anymore!

Sadly, it will take a long time for the severity of the hurt to go away.

My

kids were born and died on April 4, 1987. I still think of

them daily. And every April 4th, it is best to stay away from me,

because I am just NOT a happy person that day... I only had my kids for

hours, and that was 13 years ago. You had for much longer,

but you also have happy memories to reflect back on!

I

don't know if any of what I have said has helped you to feel better.

I just want you to know that it is okay to have all the feelings you are,

and that you will get through this... No part of it will ever be fun!

But you are a very strong person, and you and your girls will survive!

As

for always crying.... go for it! It may feel bad at first, but you

are expressing your feelings and that is VERY important !!!!

Great

Big Hugs!!!

Love

Always,

Anne

[Guest guest]

*gentle hugs to you *

" I'm so very sad, and I just can't quit crying tonight. "

Dearest one, allow yourself to cry. Crying is a strength not a

weakness. If we were not meant to cry we would not be given the gift

of tears.

" I'm so lost...what am I supposed to do now?? "

Give yourself the gift of time. Expect nothing of yourself. Live

moment to moment allowing the feelings to come to the surface as they

do. You cannot possibly *do* anything just now . Just be.

" It's NOT okay, dammit, was MY baby, why the hell am I

telling them that it's okay?? that everything will be allright?? It's

not okay, and nothing will ever be the same again. "

Conditioning makes us say " I'm fine " when you are not. I find that I

say that so I dont have to cope with their emotions on top of my own.

Or perhaps you are guarded just now and just need some space? Or do

not feel comfortable talkin about it with them? Perhaps you are

putting on a brave face for their sake or your own? Maybe you know

that they cannot cope with the reality or simply would not

understand? Speak from your heart. If you need to be guarded then be

so, if you need to open up then let them in. You will know.

" She had the fucking nerve to ask me if she could have Matty's toys

for her baby. HOW DARE SHE ASK ME FOR MATTY'S THINGS??????? "

That is so insensitive...... *hug*

" People just pretend like Matty never existed...and he's only been

gone for 15 days. Like his life didn't mean anything at all. OHHHH,

I'm so pissed off. How can people act like he was never here??? "

Its their way of coping. (or not coping?)

" It just hurts so bad...I swear, I've never felt anything like this

in my whole life. "

My dear friend, I cannot possibly know how you feel other then to

empathise and try to comprehend such a loss. *hug*

" I've been trying so hard to keep it together for my girls, but I

don't know how much longer I can handle it. "

The last thing you need right now sweet one is to add more pressure

onto yourself. Live moment to moment, allow the feelings to surface

and be felt. You have spent the last however long in a state of hyper

alertness looking after Matty, and now that is over there is just a

void. This is not something you can just " get over " to " get on with

your life. " You need time to heal, grieve, and slowly learn to live

on a different level. You dont need to keep all the pieces together.

You dont have to cope. You dont have to be super woman anymore. Give

yourself the gift of time, and just be.

" AAAHHH, shit. Sorry for dumping this on y'all...just needed to 'say'

it instead of just 'feel' it I guess. "

You need not apologise, we all dump our shit onto each others virtual

shoulders. We love you and have gone through this with you to some

extent, others more so from their own experiences. But you are not

alone, and you can ALWAYS turn to us. We love you and are here for

you unconditionally.

Be gentle to yourself , and give yourself the gift of time to

just be.

If there is anything we can do you know we will. Just ask.

Sending you lots and lots of love,

Aisha and Gwydion.

[Guest guest]

Dear sweet . I am so sorry for you loss and for my loss of words to

make you feel better. Although I am not sure where your sisters head is at

it is evidentally not in the right place. How inconsiderate of her to ask

you for your babies toys. I am not going to pretend to know how you are

feeling because I do not but I am thinking about you daily and am very sorry

for your loss. You are in my prayers and although I am sure you will always

feel the loss of your sweet Matty I hope in time you can heal enough to feel

some comfort somehow with his passing. Please forgive me if this doesnt

sound quite right. My head isnt always screwed on right but my heart is in

the right place. Please feel free to email me if there is anything at all I

can do for you.

Tina1

>From: Hyten <whyten@...>

>Reply-egroups

>egroups

>Subject: bad night

>Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2000 22:54:13 -0700

>

>Hi all.

>OH, geez, I don't even know where to start. I don't even know what I

>want to say. I'm just having a very bad night, I guess. I'm so very sad,

>and I just can't quit crying tonight. And I'm so damn MAD---I hate

>feeling this way.

> I miss my baby so much. I feel like my whole life is gone. I'm so

>lost...what am I supposed to do now?? And I'm so fucking sick to death

>of telling every one else that it's okay. It's NOT okay, dammit,

> was MY baby, why the hell am I telling them that it's okay??

>that everything will be allright?? It's not okay, and nothing will ever

>be the same again.

> I want so badly to hold him, to feel his soft sweet skin next to

>mine, his baby fine hair brushing my cheek, to kiss his little face and

>hands...

> My sister was here today. We finally celebrated my oldest daughter's

>birthday, that was on June 5. She had the fucking nerve to ask me if she

>could have Matty's toys for her baby. HOW DARE SHE ASK ME FOR MATTY'S

>THINGS???????

> People just pretend like Matty never existed...and he's only been gone

>for 15 days. Like his life didn't mean anything at all. OHHHH, I'm so

>pissed off. How can people act like he was never here???

> It just hurts so bad...I swear, I've never felt anything like this in

>my whole life. I mean, it hurt when my older son died, but I never

>really got the chance to know him...that was more like mourning for what

> could have been. But with , it hurts so bad because I

>miss what he WAS...

> I've been trying so hard to keep it together for my girls, but I

>don't know how much longer I can handle it. I have to find a job, and

>daycare for the girls, and through it all, I can't stop thinking about

>my Matty...

> I love my girls very much, don't get me wrong, and I cherish them so

>very much. But even they can't make my heart stop hurting so bad...they

>have their own places in my heart, and it's Matty's place that is

>empty...

> AAAHHH, shit. Sorry for dumping this on y'all...just needed to 'say'

>it instead of just 'feel' it I guess.

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

my heart goes out to you. Get one of Matty's snugglies and go

lay down with it and cry yourself to sleep. It's normal to be

feeling so empty. You can still hear him around the corner can't

you. But when you look he's not there. It's ok for the girls to see

you cry, maybe they need to also. Children are amazing. They know

more than we give them credit. As for your sister that was totally

uncalled for, stupidity is the only thing I will allow my self to

say. Family members seem to be the worst ones to be around as they

won't let you talk about what you want to and that is your son. If

you want to talk about him then do so, they will get the

message,hopefully. I have been in your shoes and that's a

pair I wish on no one. We lost our daughter at 16 mo's of age many

years ago from a brain disease. Love Helen

[Guest guest]

I get trembling from the PA all the itme. It; trembling due to muscle

fatigure

> From: Patty Bacon <pbacon@...>

> Reply- egroups

> Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2000 06:54:13 -0500

> egroups

> Subject: [ ] Bad Night

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> There have been some bad nights for me but last night was not only

> uncomfortable but 'strange'. After going to bed about 10 pm,

> I awoke after midnight hurting and trembling all over and got

> up to spend the next couple hours in a recliner with a heating

> pad. Then I went to a spare bedroom to sleep in spurts

> until just after 6 am. Is this trembling common with fibro?

>

> There just doesn't seem to be a lot of info out there on fibro,

> although I've read of cases that become severe enough to disable.

>

> I don't know what to make of this. I did have a miserable day

> yesterday with either a spring cold or allergy; itching eyes,

> sneezing and a runny nose for which I took the recommended

> remedy. And there was a big change in the weather with the

> temp dropping about 40 degrees.

>

> Any ideas to share?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Patty B in the Pineywoods of East Texas

>

> Moderator note: sounds like a recipe for a flare of something -- weather

> changes, colds, etc. -- could be fibro, could be arthur. I've never

> experienced the trembling that you're talking about, at least not that I

> recall, but I'd think trembling of muscles wouldn't be out of the ordinary

> with fibro, given what fibro is.

>

> Have you ever looked at the newsgroup alt.med.fibromyalgia? Maybe if you did

> a power search of that newsgroup at deja.com you might find some instances

> where people experienced the trembling you have. If you need more information

> about newsgroups and searching at deja, let me know offlist. If that doesn't

> work, a I'd put a call into your fibro doc, if only to ease your mind about

> it.

>

> Patty PHDRWD@..., moderator from OH

>

>

>

> Please visit our new web page at:

> http://www.wpunj.edu/icip/pa

>

> This past year had moderated a chat on arthritis at

> www.about.com on Thursday evenings and hopes to start up doing so again soon-

> we will keep you posted! Meanwhile, if anyone would like to start a weekly

> chat on egroups, please contact or . Thanks

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I understand your concern for planning ahead and being financially o.k., but

remember you have to be physically safe first. I've been divorced twice (both

abusive, although not physical), and I understand starting over. I did it with

two small children. If you don't have children at home, then all you need to do

is worry about YOUR health and safety. Planning is a good idea, but also have a

plan in case you need to leave immediately. Co-dependency is a very hard thing

to deal with (been there too!), but you can do it. It took me 30 something years

to realize I could take care of myself.

As far as effecting your health (the stress of the situation), my health

problems started after my first divorce (mono, depression, etc.) and I was

diagnosed with PA not long after my second divorce. Kind of makes you wonder if

there's some correlation with the high stress and increase in my health

problems.

I'll be thinking about you and hoping you can resolve your problems, so that you

can concentrate on getting better.

Prayers and Hugs,

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

Fiorinal brings back so many memories! Had horrible headaches almost all of

my life, and still get them periodically. I call them " animal headaches "

since they were never referred to as migraines. They actually began when I was

about four, when I had something related to rheumatic fever. I am absolutely

sure that they are related to my scoliosis, and my " weird " use of my neck. They

begin in my neck, climb up my head, my sinuses slam shut and I used to begin

literally talking to God! I've been told to try ice, to try heat, etc. The

best thing for me is Fiorinal, my bed in a darkened room and self hypnosis. My

point in writing this is to tell you how sorry I am that you are having such

pain. I hope that, somehow, these terrible headaches will go away. Have you

ever been to a headache clinic? I have not, but have been to neurologists,

etc.

I wish you well. I hope you lose these awful headaches. I give you credit

for even crawling to the computer during one!

Carole (the older one)

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I understand. I had bad migraines almost every day of my life from age 28 to age

33. Don't know why they started, don't know why they stopped. I often had

classical prodromes and sometimes paresthesias and olfactory hallucinations as

well. The pain was a bitch. I am sorry you are suffering this way.

bad night

Hi, all! I went to my school's gym for my fake work-out yesterday

and went for a light swim today. And tonight I promptly got one of

my migraines. I'm about to put myself to bed so I have a chance of

getting to work tomorrow. I just needed to whine. This is exactly

why I have had such a problem with my weight. Exercise causes other

nasty problems. And no one, NO ONE in the medical world seems to

understand the headaches. I experience them as bad headaches that

turn into migraines (sensitive to light and sound, and sometimes

nauseated). Anyway, one PT thought they were triggered from

stretching the lower back when sitting forward. Who knows? Exercise

can bring it on. Fiorenol helps, but so does a good night's sleep.

Since it's late I'll just go to bed.

OK. that's my rant. Thanks for listening. :-)

Deb M.

Support for scoliosis-surgery veterans with Harrington Rod Malalignment

Syndrome. Not medical advice. Group does not control ads or endorse any

advertised products.

[Guest guest]

I really feel bad reading messages like this and realizing how much I've been

missing lately.

I think I did read the Topamax correspondence " wrong, " or in the wrong order.

This comes from skimming/hurrying through everything to minimize my online time

and the strain on my back. (Probably time to rearrange my " office ergonomics. "

)

I have sent out some personal email messages apologizing for possible

misinterpretation on my part.

Best,

Re: bad night

,

Do you think it is possible that people are just reading the first article

that pops up when one links into it? (this note is reTopomax problems) I

noticed that what pops up first is an article directed to pediatric patients

regarding a medicine with a similar spelling (different med, though).

Carole

[Guest guest]

I will plan to review all of this soon to see if I goofed up. I remember a link

that led to a letter dated Dec. 2003, alerting health professionals to a problem

with Topamax that showed up during postmarketing surveillance. I thought an

appended document updated prescribing information as well. The material I saw

did lead off with a statement suggesting that statistically significant findings

were strongest or were perhaps even limited to pediatric patients only. But

when I read further, there was some additional information about significant

findings in the adult population as well.

At this point, though, I am thinking we may not even be talking about the same

link!

Anyway, I very much appreciate your questions. This kind of thing is important

beyond the Topamax data per se. In the past week I have been privileged (?) to

see an amazing misunderstanding at another group, involving a number of

different people who jumped into the fray. The whole thing apparently began, in

part, because one person neglected to include another person's joke from a

previous message. The second person had sent this joke out in private, which the

first person did not realize, thinking she had been reading a post to the entire

group. Thus the first person, thinking everyone knew what she was talking

about, made a remark relating to a joke in the private email. Without the

original joke, though, the humorous response looked like a gratuitous and rather

shocking insult to the second person. At least one person has now been booted

out of the group entirely, stripped of posting privileges or access to anyone

else's posts. Others have pleaded for this person to be reinstated. Still

others have stated that the correspondence flying back and forth has become so

complex that they no longer know what is going on and can not follow the

discussion. A committee of people, meanwhile, has convened to decide what to do

next. So far there is no end in sight (or on site).

This brouhaha has made me think long and hard about how to improve my own posts

and email messages so as to avoid this type of sad and ridiculous and sometimes

disastrous downward spiral of ill feeling and large-scale befuddlement.

Best,

Re: bad night

,

Do you think it is possible that people are just reading the first article

that pops up when one links into it? (this note is reTopomax problems) I

noticed that what pops up first is an article directed to pediatric patients

regarding a medicine with a similar spelling (different med, though).

Carole

[Guest guest]

Seems like everyone is having a rough time. Does your son tell you

the promises he has made to God? Does it have anything to do with

lent. My daughter has been quite worried about that.

You always seem so calm and collected when you post, even your bad

days seem kind of pleasant, and you seem so experienced in dealing

with this. Sorry if I don't sound very compassionate, I really don't

have any experience with scrupulousity. I am sorry that he struggles

this way. I can only emagine the fear related to this.

I hope all goes well tonight, take care,

candice

>

> SIGH, bad night for . Bad week, really. But tonight he

> couldn't eat. Back to those promises to God. Maybe they were OCD

> but maybe some weren't...shouldn't he keep them anyway...! Plus he

> can't do his schoolwork. Report due Friday and one Monday (the

> latter being research on the internet again, which will involve

those

> website names he can't look at.

>

> I was frustrated too. He commented to me after I said or made some

> expression that I seemed mad at him. I told him " no " (thinking

that

> I did feel mad at *him* some), that I was mad at OCD not him. With

> this scrupulosity/religious stuff, I have to remind myself I'm not

> mad at God or religion either sometimes.

>

> Talked to him about how *he* is the only one holding himself to

these

> promises, he is the one who can't let go of them and just forgive

> himself for making them. Of course, his OCD and his general...oh,

> need-to-do-right I guess, won't let him.

>

> Oh he is MUCH more frustrated than me, of course. Hit himself in

the

> head a few times. I can see him going " crazy. " Another SIGH!

>

> With all the illness going around here lately (me, his twin, their

> friends, classmates), I'm wondering if something hasn't made this

> *spike* in a bit although he hasn't caught anything like

the

> rest of us have had (yet).

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's hard sometimes to keep the OCD separated from the kid and

remember to be frustrated at the right thing. Been guilty here too.

It sure makes sense that they have trouble separating in their own

heads sometimes.

So sorry, that you both had a bad day.

Hugs,

BJ

>

> SIGH, bad night for . Bad week, really. But tonight he

> couldn't eat. Back to those promises to God. Maybe they were OCD

> but maybe some weren't...shouldn't he keep them anyway...! Plus he

> can't do his schoolwork. Report due Friday and one Monday (the

> latter being research on the internet again, which will involve those

> website names he can't look at.

>

> I was frustrated too. He commented to me after I said or made some

> expression that I seemed mad at him. I told him " no " (thinking that

> I did feel mad at *him* some), that I was mad at OCD not him. With

> this scrupulosity/religious stuff, I have to remind myself I'm not

> mad at God or religion either sometimes.

>

> Talked to him about how *he* is the only one holding himself to these

> promises, he is the one who can't let go of them and just forgive

> himself for making them. Of course, his OCD and his general...oh,

> need-to-do-right I guess, won't let him.

>

> Oh he is MUCH more frustrated than me, of course. Hit himself in the

> head a few times. I can see him going " crazy. " Another SIGH!

>

> With all the illness going around here lately (me, his twin, their

> friends, classmates), I'm wondering if something hasn't made this

> *spike* in a bit although he hasn't caught anything like the

> rest of us have had (yet).

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks BJ! He was eating today when I got home from work (mac &

cheese). He still has a paper to write for English tonight but said

it only has to be about 4 or 5 paragraphs so maybe that will go OK

(cross fingers!). But the project due Monday where he'll have to

research on the internet - I foresee myself again doing the research

for him some since he can't look at certain sites (like that end

in .org or something). We'll see!

>

> It's hard sometimes to keep the OCD separated from the kid and

> remember to be frustrated at the right thing. Been guilty here too.

> It sure makes sense that they have trouble separating in their own

> heads sometimes.

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry thinks are bad right now, although it sounds like he was

able to eat today (thank goodness). My son has scrupulosity issues

also (in addition to other ocd things). He can't go to church because

of it (sad). He feels " God is punishing him, " has blasphemous

thoughts, and feels he is " cursed. " He's currently taking Prozac (1

week); he was on Celexa for quite a while. He's manageable but not

very functional right now. I hope gets through this rough

spot. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best, Patty

>

> SIGH, bad night for . Bad week, really. But tonight he

> couldn't eat. Back to those promises to God. Maybe they were OCD

> but maybe some weren't...shouldn't he keep them anyway...! Plus he

> can't do his schoolwork. Report due Friday and one Monday (the

> latter being research on the internet again, which will involve those

> website names he can't look at.

>

> I was frustrated too. He commented to me after I said or made some

> expression that I seemed mad at him. I told him " no " (thinking that

> I did feel mad at *him* some), that I was mad at OCD not him. With

> this scrupulosity/religious stuff, I have to remind myself I'm not

> mad at God or religion either sometimes.

>

> Talked to him about how *he* is the only one holding himself to these

> promises, he is the one who can't let go of them and just forgive

> himself for making them. Of course, his OCD and his general...oh,

> need-to-do-right I guess, won't let him.

>

> Oh he is MUCH more frustrated than me, of course. Hit himself in the

> head a few times. I can see him going " crazy. " Another SIGH!

>

> With all the illness going around here lately (me, his twin, their

> friends, classmates), I'm wondering if something hasn't made this

> *spike* in a bit although he hasn't caught anything like the

> rest of us have had (yet).

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is good news, (him eating). Mine was eating more normally

today too. It's a relief.

BJ

> >

> > It's hard sometimes to keep the OCD separated from the kid and

> > remember to be frustrated at the right thing. Been guilty here too.

> > It sure makes sense that they have trouble separating in their own

> > heads sometimes.

>

[Guest guest]

How are you feeling this morning? Sorry to hear that you've had a

bad night - did you eat something different last night?

I hope you're feeling better and managing to maintain your confidence

in trying food today.

xx

>

> It's 4:30 am and I have been up for the last 2 hours with pain in

my

> chest. I've tried milk, water, gaviscon and nothing helps.

>

> I can tell from the pain that it is either something stuck, gas,

> reflux or all of the above. The pain went from my right side below

> the breast, through to the back and now is sitting in the back of

my

> throat. Weird, I know.

>

> This is the first time since I've been home from hospital that I've

> had a pain last that long. Makes one want to go right back to

> liquids and not even try solids.

>

> I do have pain killers but don't want to take them because they

will

> probably stick in my throat.

>

> Hopefully it will go away soon. I was hoping that with surgery I

> wouldn't have this problem. Guess I was wrong.

>

> I go back to the surgeon next Monday. I'll make sure I mention this

> to him. He did a partial fundoplication, and I am on Nexium to stop

> reflux.

>

> Just needed to vent to help the time pass. Sitting up seems to help.

>

> Well hope eveyone had a good night and thanks for listening to my

> vent.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , Sorry to hear about your bad night. I certainly know what you are going through. I haven't had thus severe spasms last night, but as of 04.00h in the morning I keep having light to medium spasms. I know I am facing a major spasm attack, as that tends to happen after such day. Like I read it you are having spasms. They can occur until about 3 months post op, that seems to be pretty normal (and yeh, pretty bad!!!). The pain is awfull. Yet, when it's gone I always tend (to try) to forget pretty soon. There is nothing else you can do, you need to go on. That's what I am doing right now, hanging in there, going on, looking forward to my next Botox and looking forward to my surgery. It's hard on me, I know I can and I will manage, but it's a long long road ahead of me. If I were you, I wouldn't worry. Like I wrote above, your spasms are part of the game (according to

both my surgeons). They will disappear in time. I know this doesn't help you while having those terrible pains, but I hope it helps you stay positive and looking ahead. You know what, I try to laugh about my situation and it helps! Maybe my situation of today can make you laugh as well: I was sitting in a meeting with 4 men, talking sales and technics. I had those spasms and when nobody watched me I tried puffing the spasms away like a woman does when having a baby -LOL-. Just imagine and you'll laugh too (best part is that puffing sometimes does help and it helped me get through the meeting!!!). Hidden message to all poor achalasian men: you now know what to do: go to a course where women learn the correct way of puffing -LOL-. You'll get through, just like we all do!!! Love, Isabella . jamiemcrae33 <jamiemcrae33@...> wrote: It's 4:30 am and I have been up for the last 2 hours with pain in my chest. I've tried milk, water, gaviscon and nothing helps.I can tell from the pain that it is either something stuck, gas, reflux or all of the above. The pain went from my right side below the breast, through to the back and now is sitting in the back of my throat. Weird, I know. This is the first time since I've been home from hospital that I've had a pain last that

long. Makes one want to go right back to liquids and not even try solids.I do have pain killers but don't want to take them because they will probably stick in my throat.Hopefully it will go away soon. I was hoping that with surgery I wouldn't have this problem. Guess I was wrong. I go back to the surgeon next Monday. I'll make sure I mention this to him. He did a partial fundoplication, and I am on Nexium to stop reflux. Just needed to vent to help the time pass. Sitting up seems to help.Well hope eveyone had a good night and thanks for listening to my vent.

Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit.

[Guest guest]

>

> It's 4:30 am and I have been up for the last 2 hours with pain in

my

> chest. I've tried milk, water, gaviscon and nothing helps.

>

> I can tell from the pain that it is either something stuck, gas,

> reflux or all of the above. The pain went from my right side below

> the breast, through to the back and now is sitting in the back of

my

> throat. Weird, I know.

>

> This is the first time since I've been home from hospital that I've

> had a pain last that long. Makes one want to go right back to

> liquids and not even try solids.

>

> I do have pain killers but don't want to take them because they

will

> Hopefully it will go away soon. I was hoping that with surgery I

> wouldn't have this problem. Guess I was wrong.

>

> I go back to the surgeon next Monday. I'll make sure I mention this

> to him. He did a partial fundoplication, and I am on Nexium to stop

> reflux.

>

> Just needed to vent to help the time pass. Sitting up seems to help.

>

> Well hope eveyone had a good night and thanks for listening to my

> vent.

>

>

> probably stick in my throat.

>

Hi knoew how you feel with the chest pain is awful you think

with the other problems you get some relief but hey these things are

set to try us and trying they are . What dosage of nexium you on my

doc increased mine to 40mg which has helped and tend to take it night

just befoore going to bed

Potty

>

[Guest guest]

Hi there, I take 40 mg once a day of Nexium. I think I might mention the nefridimine (?) as mentioned by , when I go to the surgeon on tuesday. When I was first diagnosed 20 years ago they gave me nitro pills under the tongue. There has to be something that can help the pain in today's society. Maybe I'll just smoke a joint (just kidding I don't smoke). It should relax you though. Thank you for your response and support, it is greatly appreciated. Hope everyone has a peaceful night and a stress free day. potty_58 <potty_58@...> wrote: >> It's 4:30 am and I have been up for the last 2 hours with pain in my > chest. I've tried milk, water, gaviscon and nothing helps.> > I can tell from the pain that it is either something stuck, gas, > reflux or all of the above. The pain went from my right side below > the breast, through to the back and now is sitting in the back of my > throat. Weird, I know. > > This is the first time since I've been home from hospital that I've > had a pain last that long. Makes one want to go right back to > liquids and not even try

solids.> > I do have pain killers but don't want to take them because they will > Hopefully it will go away soon. I was hoping that with surgery I > wouldn't have this problem. Guess I was wrong. > > I go back to the surgeon next Monday. I'll make sure I mention this > to him. He did a partial fundoplication, and I am on Nexium to stop > reflux. > > Just needed to vent to help the time pass. Sitting up seems to help.> > Well hope eveyone had a good night and thanks for listening to my > vent.> > > probably stick in my throat.> Hi knoew how you feel with the chest pain is awful you think with the other problems you get some relief but hey these things are set to try us and trying they are . What dosage of nexium you on my doc increased mine to 40mg which has helped and tend to take it night just befoore going

to bed Potty >

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[Guest guest]

My son just told me a boy in PE slapped him in the face and kicked him

twice because he was joking around with him b/c he missed the ball and

the boy got mad. Dylan said he didn't mean it in a bad way, but the

boy got mad anyway and kicked and slapped him in the face. Then at the

end of class, a group of boys surrounded him and started kicking him

because they thought he tripped a boy (he says he didn't.) I'm so

sad/mad/lost right now. My dad is coming over here and we're going to

talk through what to do, but wow, I'm so sad. And pissed off. Dylan

said after this happened (they were supposed to be going into the

locker room to change) Dylan went to one of the offices and just sat in

there for awhile. He missed part of his lunch. I think it's brilliant

that he didn't enter the locker room. And I'm proud he handled himself

well, given the circumstances. I'll be having a conversation with the

Vice Principal first thing in the morning. I'll let you all know what

happens.