Guest guest Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 Does your grandson have an IEP? What kind of school program is he attending? I would recommend getting in touch with your local mental health center. Sometimes there are programs that can be implemented to keep the family intact by added extra supports. Pam In a message dated 4/19/2009 10:28:54 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, sascott0247@... writes: I am the grandmother of a AS teenage boy (15). His mother has MS and tho she is in advanced stages, she still has total function. But the boy is becoming too much for her to handle. I have taken on his 13 year old sister to keep her out of the crossfire. But my daughter has come to the point where she has "given up on him". He is a large boy - almost 300 lbs - and I am so afraid that he will lose control and hurt his mother. He won't mean to but he's just so big and stronger than he knows. Please, does anyone know if there is somewhere in Arizona that schools AS teens or some sort of group home or something? This is breaking my heart to watch the two of them fight constantly and she gets so mean with words and sometimes just ignores him altogether. At 15, no boy should be left on his own and ignored, much less an Aspie. I'm at my wits end. Access 350+ FREE radio stations anytime from anywhere on the web. l?ncid=emlcntusdown00000003"> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 Wow. I'm so sorry for your family. That is really heartbreaking. What's the plan when his mom can't function any longer? Who is he supposed to end up with? I wonder if she lashes out with her words b/c she's scared about what will happen when she's unable to care for him anymore and she's frustrated? That just sounds horrible. What kind of assistance does he get in school? Is there a counselor or someone there you know that you can ask about schools where he can live? I'm just so sorry for you guys. Sounds like a tough situation. There are a bunch of smart ladies in this group and they will have all sorts of ideas for you too. Hang in there. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Sherry <sascott0247@...> Sent: Saturday, April 18, 2009 8:08:28 PMSubject: ( ) Need Help Badly I am the grandmother of a AS teenage boy (15). His mother has MS and tho she is in advanced stages, she still has total function. But the boy is becoming too much for her to handle. I have taken on his 13 year old sister to keep her out of the crossfire. But my daughter has come to the point where she has "given up on him". He is a large boy - almost 300 lbs - and I am so afraid that he will lose control and hurt his mother. He won't mean to but he's just so big and stronger than he knows. Please, does anyone know if there is somewhere in Arizona that schools AS teens or some sort of group home or something? This is breaking my heart to watch the two of them fight constantly and she gets so mean with words and sometimes just ignores him altogether. At 15, no boy should be left on his own and ignored, much less an Aspie. I'm at my wits end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 Hi, just some quick thoughts. Have you contacted any of the local or state autism agencies? Also the state developmental disability programs maybe can guide you in some direction. Here are some links to sites I looked at for Arizona: http://www.phxautism.org/agencies.html https://egov.azdes.gov/cmsinternet/main.aspx?menu=96 & id=2454 Here in NC, with the state developmental disabilities program, if a person qualifies they can get services to help them and, thus, the family. And this could be like someone working 1:1 with your grandson or into group services. Again, quick thoughts, > > I am the grandmother of a AS teenage boy (15). His mother has MS and tho she is in advanced stages, she still has total function. But the boy is becoming too much for her to handle. I have taken on his 13 year old sister to keep her out of the crossfire. But my daughter has come to the point where she has " given up on him " . He is a large boy - almost 300 lbs - and I am so afraid that he will lose control and hurt his mother. He won't mean to but he's just so big and stronger than he knows. Please, does anyone know if there is somewhere in Arizona that schools AS teens or some sort of group home or something? This is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Thank you for your response, . There is some irony in the fact that you responded. My maiden name is McAlister and I have a cousin named whose maiden name is also McAlister. Just different spelling. Anyway. Among the problems in our situation is that my daughter and grandson are living in Prescott Valley right now and I have my granddaughter with me in Page Arizona. So I can't speek to anyone down there. I know that there is one teacher he has who has been trying very hard to help DJ all year, but DJ sees him as "a mean man who wants me to do things I don't want to do" - things like go on a camping trip with other boys, walk everywhere he goes so that he gets excercise and might posibbly lose some weight, socialize with the other students, etc. This teacher is knowledgeable about AS and is only trying to do small bits at a time. But to DJ he's just another mean teacher. There are so many unusual circumstances in our situation: The fact that I have just remet an old highschool flame and for the third time in our lives we have decided we want to spent the rest of our lives together. (At 62 and 63, it may not be a long time!) And we have decided that the 3rd time is the charm and we are really going to do it this time. But we really don't want any teenage grandchildren living with us. (Is that selfish??) Then my daughter's MS being in advanced stages and she was actually hoping to have DJ ready and able to live in society on his own before she is gone. She is on SSDisability and cannot afford to send him to a group home or to any of those camps or even a school unless the state will pay for it, and they don't pay for much. I'm sorry to run on. I've never had anyone to talk to about all this before. My daughter and DJ both are very private people and neither want me to discuss this with anyone they know, might know, or might ever know. Leaves very few people to talk to! Anyway, thank you for listening. Just if you have any ideas or hear of any, please let me know. Thank you so much. Sherry From: MacAllister <smacalli@...> Sent: Sunday, April 19, 2009 11:44:38 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Need Help Badly Wow. I'm so sorry for your family. That is really heartbreaking. What's the plan when his mom can't function any longer? Who is he supposed to end up with? I wonder if she lashes out with her words b/c she's scared about what will happen when she's unable to care for him anymore and she's frustrated? That just sounds horrible. What kind of assistance does he get in school? Is there a counselor or someone there you know that you can ask about schools where he can live? I'm just so sorry for you guys. Sounds like a tough situation. There are a bunch of smart ladies in this group and they will have all sorts of ideas for you too. Hang in there. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: Sherry <sascott0247@...> Sent: Saturday, April 18, 2009 8:08:28 PMSubject: ( ) Need Help Badly I am the grandmother of a AS teenage boy (15). His mother has MS and tho she is in advanced stages, she still has total function. But the boy is becoming too much for her to handle. I have taken on his 13 year old sister to keep her out of the crossfire. But my daughter has come to the point where she has "given up on him". He is a large boy - almost 300 lbs - and I am so afraid that he will lose control and hurt his mother. He won't mean to but he's just so big and stronger than he knows. Please, does anyone know if there is somewhere in Arizona that schools AS teens or some sort of group home or something? This is breaking my heart to watch the two of them fight constantly and she gets so mean with words and sometimes just ignores him altogether. At 15, no boy should be left on his own and ignored, much less an Aspie.. I'm at my wits end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Thank you so much for the excellent ideas. I have saved the websites you suggested and intent to look closely into what help we might get from them. I didn't even know where to begin. You've been a big help. Sherry From: <@...> Sent: Sunday, April 19, 2009 12:58:00 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Need Help Badly Hi, just some quick thoughts. Have you contacted any of the local or state autism agencies? Also the state developmental disability programs maybe can guide you in some direction. Here are some links to sites I looked at for Arizona:http://www.phxautis m.org/agencies. htmlhttps://egov. azdes.gov/ cmsinternet/ main.aspx? menu=96 & id= 2454Here in NC, with the state developmental disabilities program, if a person qualifies they can get services to help them and, thus, the family. And this could be like someone working 1:1 with your grandson or into group services.Again, quick thoughts,>> I am the grandmother of a AS teenage boy (15). His mother has MS and tho she is in advanced stages, she still has total function. But the boy is becoming too much for her to handle. I have taken on his 13 year old sister to keep her out of the crossfire. But my daughter has come to the point where she has "given up on him". He is a large boy - almost 300 lbs - and I am so afraid that he will lose control and hurt his mother. He won't mean to but he's just so big and stronger than he knows. Please, does anyone know if there is somewhere in Arizona that schools AS teens or some sort of group home or something? This is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Sherry, you're welcome. Hope you can at least get pointed in a good direction. Here in NC, there's not much in the way of group homes that target autism only, generally they combine lots of diagnoses, behaviors in them. I think even for adults there are only 1 or 2 places for actual residential living that are aimed at autism. It'd be great if he and mom could get some services/programs to help them at home and around. > > Thank you so much for the excellent ideas. I have saved the websites you suggested and intent to look closely into what help we might get from them.. I didn't even know where to begin. You've been a big help. > > Sherry > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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