Re: Kindergarten?

[Guest guest]

>

> Next school year we have the choices of:

There is a 4th choice--find a private school that is better suited.

> Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he

figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to

address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school

system keeps saying " our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't

have to be class president) UGH!!!

If the school district is already balking like this, you probably have a fight

on your hands. No, they are not forced to address his problems. YOU will have

to force them to address his problems. They may not have any difficulties

pronouncing him an evil, spoiled child with incredibly clueless, bad parents and

doing nothing. Until you get a firm diagnosis, they can, and well may, explain

everything away as bad, willful behavior.

What I would do--send in a written request for a full evaluation for autism.

See how they react. By law, if you request IN WRITING, they must respond in

writing, giving reasons why or why not they will evaluate, and perform the

evaluation within a certain time frame.

> I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I

want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this as long as you are not doing it

to avoid dealing with his social skills issues. Make sure your home program

deals with his issues in an effective manner.

> In summary, I don't mind that he is " different " from all of his classmates, he

is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to

K like " a lamb to slaughter. "

And I hope you follow that intuition. I think you know better than to send him

back to the pre-k. Quite frankly, if he were my son he would never have gone

back after the playground incident unless I could get some proof that they could

put something better in place to protect him. These things are going to happen

with an Asperger child. You're going to have to accept the fact that he cannot

be left unsupervised. He may need an aide in school (or at least closer

supervision than he is getting), and you need to stick by his side yourself

outside of school.

> I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one

of their classrooms.

This is not a bad idea either. Just be aware, considering the reaction you have

gotten so far, that this will probably be a long-term thing to get the help he

needs. Kindergarten may be a pretty rough year. Make sure you are getting him

social skills training on the side yourselves.

One word of conditional encouragement I would give. If your talks with the

school district so far have all been verbal, you may get a very different,

better, reaction once you follow protocol and give your requests in writing.

Our school district played verbal games like this with us for 2 years before I

learned about how I had to request in writing (that is how I know about this!).

They immediately dropped all the game-playing and did what they were supposed to

do (albeit, very slowly) once I learned I had to follow certain procedures and

followed them. Some school districts are just like that. They'll never

volunteer procedural information first. You have to ask.

In summary, be aware that YOU have to take the initiative. The school district

will not necessarily do anything at all. You will have to find out what needs

to happen and ask. Your first step is to get a full and individual evaluation

through the school. This will get his needs documented and they will have to

respond to that.

My two cents... (sorry, kind of rambling)

Ruth

[Guest guest]

I know that I am new at all this stuff but, my son has as/adhd and i think the best thing we did was let him go to public K his teacher doesn't know much about how to deal with him but, she as we are learning and he seems to be doing OK. I think that he may even pass the grade on the first try. but you should try it . and you may be surprised!! I read these but don't have much time to respond unless I can help. So if you like I can help with what we have learned.From: tsnoo1 <tsnoo1@...>Subject: ( ) Kindergarten? Date: Saturday, April 18, 2009, 8:40 AM

Hi all,

We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet "very intelligent" (in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me).

Next school year we have the choices of:

1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a school where he is already an outcast.

2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.

3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for highly supervised/controll ed social interaction.

Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school system keeps saying "our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't have to be class president) UGH!!!

I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day school or a larger class size.

I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.

Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4 & 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him physically beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days) was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said "Momma, every one is talking to me, that means that they like me." I sat him down and explained how

good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation).

In summary, I don't mind that he is "different" from all of his classmates, he is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to K like "a lamb to slaughter." I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here.

[My son has already been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).

Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

My son has a July birthday so he was one of the youngest kids in his class when he started. His neurological challenges has affected his maturity so he was faced with being pretty immature compared to his Kindergarten peers between his chronological age and his issues. If I could do it all over again, I would've held him back one year so he would have one more year of maturity before he started school. This would've been especially helpful when he was in older elementary and middle school. We've had some pretty strong debates for and against this issue on here though so I'm sure you're going to get all sorts of advice from every side.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: katie fletcher <katedarrell@...> Sent: Sunday, April 19, 2009 12:10:44 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Kindergarten?

I know that I am new at all this stuff but, my son has as/adhd and i think the best thing we did was let him go to public K his teacher doesn't know much about how to deal with him but, she as we are learning and he seems to be doing OK. I think that he may even pass the grade on the first try. but you should try it . and you may be surprised!! I read these but don't have much time to respond unless I can help. So if you like I can help with what we have learned.

From: tsnoo1 <tsnoo1 (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Kindergarten? Date: Saturday, April 18, 2009, 8:40 AM

Hi all,We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet "very intelligent" (in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me). Next school year we have the choices of:1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a school where he is already an outcast.2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for highly supervised/controll ed social interaction.Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school system keeps saying "our tests show that he is

very bright. Your son doesn't have to be class president) UGH!!!I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day school or a larger class size.I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4 & 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him

physically beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days) was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said "Momma, every one is talking to me, that means that they like me." I sat him down and explained how good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation). In summary, I don't mind that he is "different" from all of his classmates, he is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to K like "a lamb to slaughter." I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here. [My son has already

been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

We homeschool, and I totally recommend it. You sound like me - very

concerned about my boy being picked on. It shouldn't have to be that

way. I think that type of rejection is a major factor in encouraging the

child to act out badly. My son is 6 and very kind and doesn't get picked

on. I get to pick the social activities and there are plenty of them if

you join a homeschool group (or start one yourself if you have to)

Clearly, whatever you're doing, you need to totally change. Because once

you find the right environment for him, he can thrive. Mother really

does know best. (you!)

Oh, and Aspies desperately need smaller groups and lots of individual

attention from (the experts say) one or at most two teachers. They say

that too many different teachers is much harder and sometimes just too

hard for them to handle. I found that to be true, as aspies bond very

strongly with people, but they seem to prefer a few close relationships

(even if we're just talking teacher/student) over hundreds of " friends. "

tsnoo1 wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old

son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary

play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet " very intelligent "

(in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me).

>

> Next school year we have the choices of:

>

> 1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a

school where he is already an outcast.

>

> 2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.

>

> 3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for

highly supervised/controlled social interaction.

>

> Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he

figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to

address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school

system keeps saying " our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't

have to be class president) UGH!!!

>

> I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day

school or a larger class size.

>

> I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I

want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.

>

> Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for

personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about

one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all

have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on

the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4

& 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their

children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could

break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him physically

beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days)

was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My

son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said " Momma,

every one is talking to me, that means that they like me. " I sat him down and

explained how good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was

painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he

can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation).

>

> In summary, I don't mind that he is " different " from all of his classmates, he

is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to

K like " a lamb to slaughter. " I do feel, however, that the school system will

be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice

would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here.

>

> [My son has already been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return

to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

If you feel called to homeschooling and you have access to support groups and/or resources, I would strongly suggest it as well. What you describe is very similar to what has happened to my aspie too. Luckily, he has a big brother, unfortunately, the kid beating him up didn't have a parent present (what mother allows her 7 year old alone on a playground????) and my older son, seeing the predicament but afraid to leave his brother, returned the blows to the boy and "protected" his little brother. By the time I got across to them, it was full out. I too decided at that moment that as long as it was in my power, he would not go to school. He already has a hard enough life, I do not need him learning "the hard way" at school. We modified curriculum, we get our assistance privately (not through the school who also commented

on his intelligence - and wouldn't comment on what they could do for his aspergers) and we have a great home environment that's non threatening and stable. He does group get togethers with other homeschoolers and is on the chess team with his brother (though the understanding is that he won't always play - depends on mood and tolerance level of the day). It is very liberating. I am of the opinion that with the right support and information, I can be the one to address his issues and I can do it better then they can since I don't have a class of 20 or 30 to worry about as well (or even 5 others in a special needs class). We sat down, wrote out pros and cons of schooling traditionally (including drive time and gas cost) and found in the end our cons for homeschool far outweighed the other option. Please do some research and open dialogue with your DH

and make sure you're on the same page, unfortunately not everyone is glowingly supportive so it is good to have someone to back you up. Feel free to email me with more questions if you like. We do live in FL so the homeschool laws are very easy on parents. I've been gone for a bit, just had baby #3 Monday so it's been hectic around here. I wish you the best and certainly wish I could have gotten through all the emails, I always get some good ideas through others stories and these ladies have good information! lol. --Connie

tsnoo1 wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet "very intelligent" (in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me).

>

> Next school year we have the choices of:

>

> 1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a school where he is already an outcast.

>

> 2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.

>

> 3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for highly supervised/controll ed social interaction.

>

> Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school system keeps saying "our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't have to be class president) UGH!!!

>

> I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day school or a larger class size.

>

> I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.

>

> Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4 & 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him physically beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days) was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said "Momma, every one is talking to me, that means that they like me." I sat him down and explained

how good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation).

>

> In summary, I don't mind that he is "different" from all of his classmates, he is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to K like "a lamb to slaughter." I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here.

>

> [My son has already been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

>

>

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ------

>

>

[Guest guest]

Connie,

Congrats on the new baby!!

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

Re: ( ) Kindergarten?

If you feel called to homeschooling and you have access to support groups and/or resources, I would strongly suggest it as well. What you describe is very similar to what has happened to my aspie too. Luckily, he has a big brother, unfortunately, the kid beating him up didn't have a parent present (what mother allows her 7 year old alone on a playground????) and my older son, seeing the predicament but afraid to leave his brother, returned the blows to the boy and "protected" his little brother. By the time I got across to them, it was full out. I too decided at that moment that as long as it was in my power, he would not go to school. He already has a hard enough life, I do not need him learning "the hard way" at school. We modified curriculum, we get our assistance privately (not through the school who also commented on his intelligence - and wouldn't comment on what they could do for his aspergers) and we have a great home environment that's non threatening and stable. He does group get togethers with other homeschoolers and is on the chess team with his brother (though the understanding is that he won't always play - depends on mood and tolerance level of the day). It is very liberating. I am of the opinion that with the right support and information, I can be the one to address his issues and I can do it better then they can since I don't have a class of 20 or 30 to worry about as well (or even 5 others in a special needs class). We sat down, wrote out pros and cons of schooling traditionally (including drive time and gas cost) and found in the end our cons for homeschool far outweighed the other option. Please do some research and open dialogue with your DH and make sure you're on the same page, unfortunately not everyone is glowingly supportive so it is good to have someone to back you up. Feel free to email me with more questions if you like. We do live in FL so the homeschool laws are very easy on parents. I've been gone for a bit, just had baby #3 Monday so it's been hectic around here. I wish you the best and certainly wish I could have gotten through all the emails, I always get some good ideas through others stories and these ladies have good information! lol. --Connie

tsnoo1 wrote:> Hi all,>> We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet "very intelligent" (in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me). >> Next school year we have the choices of:>> 1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a school where he is already an outcast.>> 2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.>> 3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for highly supervised/controll ed social interaction.>> Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school system keeps saying "our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't have to be class president) UGH!!!>> I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day school or a larger class size.>> I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.>> Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4 & 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him physically beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days) was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said "Momma, every one is talking to me, that means that they like me." I sat him down and explained how good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation). >> In summary, I don't mind that he is "different" from all of his classmates, he is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to K like "a lamb to slaughter." I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here. >> [My son has already been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).>> Sincerely,>> >>>> ------------ --------- --------- ------>>

[Guest guest]

Where are you located? Schools can't dismiss kids with disabilities due to their intelligence. He should have a full educational evaluation done which should look at all areas of suspected disability. My ds (12 yo, hfa) is gifted and has an IEP and always has. It is harder, I think, to navigate things when the kid is obviously bright. But that is what happens to a lot of people who have HFA/AS kids. If you want to learn more about sped laws, go to www.wrightslaw.com Also, if you tell us where you are located, we can look up your local parent/information center.

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) Kindergarten?

Hi all,We are slowly making our way through the evaluation process for my 4-year-old son. I believe he is PDD-NOS or Asperger's. He has trouble with imaginary play, can't fuction with peers, is physically awkward, yet "very intelligent" (in quotes b/c that's what his teachers & drs. keep telling me). Next school year we have the choices of:1) sending him to a private pre-K program (5 days a week, 3 hours a day) at a school where he is already an outcast.2) sending him to all day K at the local public school.3) homeschooling him while trying to get him therapy and taking him out for highly supervised/controlled social interaction.Any thoughts/advice on what we should do? My hubby is in favor of K b/c he figures once our son is in the public school system, they will be forced to address his developmental problems (as of now, the early intervention school system keeps saying "our tests show that he is very bright. Your son doesn't have to be class president) UGH!!!I'm in favor of pre-K b/c I don't think my son can handle either all-day school or a larger class size.I'm considering homeschooling b/c he is smart, and I don't know how long I want to hold him back to develop social skills that he may never develop.Aside from the monotone voice, arm flapping, shirt chewing, no respect for personal space, etc that set him apart as different, I'm really worried about one thing: he doesn't understand when children are being mean to him. You all have probably already been here, but the other day I saw my son get beat up on the playground by a group of boys (he was knocked down, punched & kicked by 3,4 & 5 year-olds). This was while parents (including me) were supervising their children. Everything happened so fast (mere seconds) before the parents could break it up. The boys routinely tease/taunt my son, so seeing him physically beat up was upsetting. But, what really shocked me ( & had me crying for 2 days) was afterward when the parents sent their boys up to my son to apologize. My son was so thrilled that these boys were talking to him that he said "Momma, every one is talking to me, that means that they like me." I sat him down and explained how good friends/bad friends act & tried to get his input. It was painfully clear that he couldn't comprehend the difference in actuality (like he can tell me good/bad behavior, but can't apply it to a situation). In summary, I don't mind that he is "different" from all of his classmates, he is my son & he is who he is. But, I can't stomach the thought of sending him to K like "a lamb to slaughter." I do feel, however, that the school system will be more help once he is in one of their classrooms. I don't know....any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks for being here. [My son has already been diagnosed with Dyspraxia & we are supposed to return to Children's Hospital for further testing in 6 months).Sincerely,

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.12.0/2066 - Release Date: 04/18/09 09:55:00

[Guest guest]

Dear Tammy,

Your daughter needs to visit the school, ride a bus and meet the teacher ahead

of time at a minimum. Some social stories about what to expect ahead of time and

maybe some pretend play featuring school and or bus riding ahead of time would

be good. Could you talk to the teacher and find out what the schedule of a

typical day looks like so you can show it to your daughter? You also need to

talk with the teacher ahead of time and get her the information she will need,

especially if she is unfamiliar with dealing with spectrum kiddos. You'll have

less trauma if you lay the groundwork.

As for holding her back a year, if you feel she is unready, why not?

Just my .04 opinion (more than .02 worth!

Rose

Subject: kindergarten?

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Date: Saturday, April 25, 2009, 8:48 AM

I have a 4 yr old with hfa who'll be 5 in July and starting kindergarden in the

fall.  Her special ed preschool teacher asked if we'd prefer she attend her

'local' school or another school in the district where there are autisim

classrooms/more autism specialists.  We opted for the school with the most

support.  We won't have her IEP until late next month so I'm not sure what her

day will be like.  She spends more of her time in a 'regular' preschool class at

the district's pre-school now, so I expect they'll mainstream her as much as

possible.  She seems ready academically (knows her colors, shapes, letters,

numbers, etc.), but her speech is still 1-2 years behind her peers, which of

course impacts her socially. 

My question for the group is, have you ever held your child back a year to see

if her speech could 'catch up'?  If so, are you glad you did?  If you haven't ,

do you wish you would have? 

With her birthday being in July, she's going to be one of the youngest kids. 

I've considered having her repeat 1st grade or some other early grade...she' d

only be slightly older than most if I did.  

Also, any advice about transitioning to a new school would be helpful.  I'm

worried how those 1st few weeks will be.  Riding a bus for the 1st time, new

school, new teachers, new friends, new 'after care' program, so much change!  To

top it all off, we'll be in San Diego for 12 days visiting her grandma and going

to Disneyland just before school starts (we return on a Saturday, school starts

on Tuesday).

thanks,

Tammy 

[Guest guest]

We live in Fairfax, VA.

--

[Guest guest]

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> We live in Fairfax, VA.

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Hi ,

I'm brand new here (haven't even written the post that brought me here looking

for answers to MY question yet, lol), but wanted to respond because we live in

the same county. Our experience with FCPS was NOT good. It was so bad, in fact,

that I moved to Montgomery County so that my ds (now 12) could be enrolled in

that county's GT/LD program which was amazing. We had to move back to Fairfax

because of other circumstances and have chosen to homeschool rather than put my

son into the ps here (and I work fulltime so it's been a real juggling act to

get this to work..that's how committed I am to never having my son back in ps

here in Fairfax).

I can tell you that if your son is bright but struggles with any sort of output

issues there will be nothing on offer from FCPS to accommodate his stengths only

remediation for any areas of weakness. Like any other system YMMV slightly

regarding this depending on the principle and your son's teachers. Have you

approached your local elemntary school to discuss your son's situation?

As far as bullying goes, all the schools my son has been to (including Nysmith

- a private school in Fairfax county) have done a decent job regarding bullying,

but the fact of the matter is that they can't watch 100% of the time AND, of

course, they will never be able to 'force' kids to be friends with other kids.

So my son was essentially just ignored or excluded by his classmates for the

most part.

He knew he was different from a very early age (he was in daycare/preschool

from age 2) and has grown up feeling 'defective' (the word he used to describe

himself when he was five) because he clearly wasn't liked by peers (and sadly

more than one teacher) AND his significant strengths were never recognized by

the school (except in meetings to discuss test results always to be followed

with BUT he has significant problems with _______ (fill in the blank with

attention, written output, etc) which then became the focus of the meeting).

Of course every child and every situation is different, but if I had it to do

all over again I would have either moved to Montgomery County from the beginning

(Wyngate was and is an incredible ps there btw) or I would have found a way to

homeschool him. His experiences in daycare/preschool and FCPS left psychological

scars on him that I'm not sure will ever heal (and that's what I need help

with...so now on to my post).