Re: Yelling at School

[Guest guest]

wrightslaw.com is the best for trying to figure out how to get the school to do the right thing

( ) Yelling at School

My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about a library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He turned around and kicked her.My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be denied. So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more positive intervention.HELP!

[Guest guest]

Oh, hello! I would be seeing your principal IMMEDIATELY, then sup., and work your way up the food chain; GET YOUR TEACHERS EDUCATED ON ASPERGERS to start with; you are describing aspergers!!! So, they will have to teach him differently, just like we do.

Secondly, I would consider a psychological evaluation and consider (and then give a rational decision about trying a trial of) medications for anxiety (especially) and adhd or add meds if warranted. You would be surprised how that can help. We are lucky; our six year old does all that at home / did a year or so ago/ but he would pull himself together for school (but he has to be on meds to do it).

I would also do sensory stuff / have a sensory evaluation at your local Occupational therapy business (it's not a mental health therapy place but a like an physical, occupational therapy business (all hospitals have one---or I am sure ALL do----I cannot think of any even small town hospitals in our area or any previously lived in that don't have one).

Good luck.....And you may soon discover that the school reques and that home schooling or private school is better for our children. We spent tens of thousands of dollars fighting the school, and it started with your minor battles like this----In 8th grade, we started home schooling. Good luck; some schools listen; others are ignorant; which sounds like your journey to ignorance is starting. If your child is not making another student or teacher actually about to die (it seems), then they won't do the f.b.a. (functional behavioral assessment)....we got one finally but if they said no all along, they will ensure your child does not need one then, either! Our son spent 30 plus months in treatment (living there none the less), strangled himself until he turned blue, as injured others, and run from school (hit other students and teachers there) and they had excuse after excuse of why he did not need one)-----he never did get one!!!! So, remember, it is a school; they want to do very little to help you out.

Teachers are great; schools are not; teachers have to do what that school tells them. That is the most important thing to remember; most teachers HATE it but they have a boss.....I know that, because two of my best friends are currently teachers (both left school and tutor, sub, and do everything they can to advocate for kids like ours now)------so, that is current information and the truth!! They got fed up!!!

Ruthie Dolezal

( ) Yelling at School

My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about a library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He turned around and kicked her.My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be denied. So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more positive intervention.HELP!

[Guest guest]

I've been through this myself. did a lot of screaming and became

more and more physically aggressive and the school was doing nothing

except punishing him and blaming me. They did a terrible job with

their functional behavioral analysis because they were not trained to

do one. It was during all of this that I started to think of

's behavior in a new way and I think it is what helped get us

into a better situation. You son is advocating for himself in the only

way he knows how. I don't know why it helps. I remember the special

ed team leader saying to me, " Mrs. Banash, this behavior has to stop. "

She was really nasty about it. I said, " Yes, it does, so what are you

going to do about it. " I am pretty sure that reaction came directly

from my new attitude about 's behavior. The special ed team leader

then threatened me with an IEP meeting. ROFL. Seriously, this made me

laugh and I said, " Oh yes, this is a great idea, lets have it

tomorrow. " Major backpedaling ensued. I stopped trying to work with

on social stories related to school because no social story will

work for a kid who is being handle horribly. They punished for good

behavior because they weren't paying attention and the rewarded bad

behavior without realizing it. Once when I was observing (much to

their extreme anxiety) was pushed by another child while standing

in line to go to " specials " (music, art, pe). said very clearly

and without any anger, " Don't push me " . He even laughed a little. The

teacher said, " ALEX! NO TALING IN LINE! " I was SOOO angry. I went to

and said, " I know you did the right thing, you used your words and

that was great. " Then I let everyone know that this was NOT a good way

to deal with . He was so totally appropriate at that moment but

the teacher didn't catch him being good!

Later, on field day, wanted to go back outside when field day was

over. He wanted me to be there so I could watch and I wasn't because I

didn't think about it some how. I should have been there. Anyway,

was upset and the aide just flat out refused to let him go and

that would have been FINE but she could have given him some limited

choices like, " would you like to visit the break room " . Instead they

waited until he was screaming and hitting people with his lunch box.

Then they took him to the resource room for a break! WHAT THE HECK?!

So they rewarded his bad behavior instead of encouraging him to talk

and then rewarding that with something fun even if it wasn't the thing

he wanted exactly. It works VERY well with him.

It will be hard to watch him deteriorate but if it becomes difficult

enough for teachers they will eventually have some enlightened self

interest about it. We were sent to another school in the district that

had a program for kids on the high functioning end of the spectrum. It

was much much better.

Remind them that until he gets his needs met his behavior will continue

to get worse and that nothing you can do at home will fix it. Remind

them that punishment means nothing to these kids. They're already

upset and punishment makes it worse and the more punishment they pile

up the less a kid with AS will cooperate. They just don't see the

point of putting in all that work to conform if they get punished for

things they don't understand.

More teachers need training in dealing with AS kids, the need extra

support staff in the classroom if they have a child with AS. The

behavior of kids with AS can be deceiving. They're so smart and people

think that means they should " understand the rules " . Nobody gets that

the rules make no sense to them and nobody gets that being smart has

nothing to do with it.

>

> My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is

> yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was

> because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack

> and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about a

> library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He

> turned around and kicked her.

>

> My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be

denied.

> So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more

> positive intervention.

>

> HELP!

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the advice. How ironic that my son is named

also. The thing is I know he loved his two years in special ed

preschool (all the kids had an IEP). Now he doesn't want to go to

school anymore. They tell me is not aggressive toward the

other children (so that makes it okay?)

> >

> > My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He

is

> > yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was

> > because they were making more demands that he hang up coat,

backpack

> > and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about

a

> > library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not

yell. He

> > turned around and kicked her.

> >

> > My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be

> denied.

> > So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a

more

> > positive intervention.

> >

> > HELP!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I feel for you!!! This is so hard, especially when our kids are younger. My son's school decided to send Dylan out of the classroom and to the learning lab when he was being disruptive to the other students. The learning lab was monitored by one of the Special Ed teachers and used for a variety of purposes. This wasn't used as a punishment but a way for Dylan to go to a calmer, less distracting environment that was quiet so he could finish his work, calm down, etc... The best part is that Dylan could also choose (and was encouraged) to go the learning lab when he wanted to so he also had control over his environment and saw the learning lab as a choice and not so much as a

consequence. They prefered that he choose to go there vs. being told to go there. I was unsure about this at first but realized it was probably the best solution. I'd rather have Dylan be able to choose or quietly be asked to go to there instead of him being "punished" for breaking a class rule that's nearly impossible for him to follow in the first place. Always being called out by the teacher isn't good for a child's social development. I think the more he was called out, the more anxious he would get and the more his behavior would escalate. It's a viscious cycle. As he grew older, he used it less frequently. Now that he's in middle school, that option is gone and it doesn't seem to be a problem.

( ) Re: Yelling at School

I've been through this myself. did a lot of screaming and became more and more physically aggressive and the school was doing nothing except punishing him and blaming me. They did a terrible job with their functional behavioral analysis because they were not trained to do one. It was during all of this that I started to think of 's behavior in a new way and I think it is what helped get us into a better situation. You son is advocating for himself in the only way he knows how. I don't know why it helps. I remember the special ed team leader saying to me, "Mrs. Banash, this behavior has to stop." She was really nasty about it. I said, "Yes, it does, so what are you going to do about it." I am pretty sure that reaction came directly from my new attitude about 's behavior. The special ed team leader then threatened me with an IEP meeting. ROFL. Seriously, this made me laugh and I said,

"Oh yes, this is a great idea, lets have it tomorrow." Major backpedaling ensued. I stopped trying to work with on social stories related to school because no social story will work for a kid who is being handle horribly. They punished for good behavior because they weren't paying attention and the rewarded bad behavior without realizing it. Once when I was observing (much to their extreme anxiety) was pushed by another child while standing in line to go to "specials" (music, art, pe). said very clearly and without any anger, "Don't push me". He even laughed a little. The teacher said, "ALEX! NO TALING IN LINE!" I was SOOO angry. I went to and said, "I know you did the right thing, you used your words and that was great." Then I let everyone know that this was NOT a good way to deal with . He was so totally appropriate at that moment but the teacher didn't catch him being good!

Later, on field day, wanted to go back outside when field day was over. He wanted me to be there so I could watch and I wasn't because I didn't think about it some how. I should have been there. Anyway, was upset and the aide just flat out refused to let him go and that would have been FINE but she could have given him some limited choices like, "would you like to visit the break room". Instead they waited until he was screaming and hitting people with his lunch box. Then they took him to the resource room for a break! WHAT THE HECK?! So they rewarded his bad behavior instead of encouraging him to talk and then rewarding that with something fun even if it wasn't the thing he wanted exactly. It works VERY well with him.It will be hard to watch him deteriorate but if it becomes difficult enough for teachers they will eventually have some enlightened self interest about it. We were

sent to another school in the district that had a program for kids on the high functioning end of the spectrum. It was much much better.Remind them that until he gets his needs met his behavior will continue to get worse and that nothing you can do at home will fix it. Remind them that punishment means nothing to these kids. They're already upset and punishment makes it worse and the more punishment they pile up the less a kid with AS will cooperate. They just don't see the point of putting in all that work to conform if they get punished for things they don't understand.More teachers need training in dealing with AS kids, the need extra support staff in the classroom if they have a child with AS. The behavior of kids with AS can be deceiving. They're so smart and people think that means they should "understand the rules". Nobody gets that the rules make no sense to them and nobody gets

that being smart has nothing to do with it.>> My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is > yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was > because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack > and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about a > library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He > turned around and kicked her.> > My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be denied. > So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more > positive intervention.> >

HELP!>

[Guest guest]

I don't blame you . Good luck. I know some one on here will help you. Take care,Betty na Gagliardi <ginagagliardi@...> wrote: My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack and put his shoes on. Well today he

yelled at the teacher about a library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He turned around and kicked her.My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be denied. So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more positive intervention.HELP!

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search.

[Guest guest]

Put the request for the FBA in writing and cc it to the building principal, director of special education and superintedant. If they continue to deny, contact your local parent information training center and they can help you navigate filing a complaint. Pam :)Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

[Guest guest]

I didn't know the American laws.. But I was thinking the same thing. They can't deny you in Canada either. That's crazy.

-- Re: ( ) Yelling at School

Put the request for the FBA in writing and cc it to the building principal, director of special education and superintedant. If they continue to deny, contact your local parent information training center and they can help you navigate filing a complaint. Pam

Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

[Guest guest]

Does he have a definite diagnosis of Asperger's? If so you need to get a

doctor

behind you to push that request through and show the school you have an

advocate.

You also need to familiarize yourself with FEDERAL law regarding the schools and

the Americans With Disabilities law. When you begin talk federal code and

putting

down section numbers you will definitely get their attention. Nice people do not

get

ANYTHING from the Public School System in my experience and you have to learn to

be assertive first and foremost, and aggressive with legal action threats if

assertion

does not work well.

Dee

>

> My son is in kindergarten and is having a rough year so far. He is

> yelling at his teacher and aides. They told me initially it was

> because they were making more demands that he hang up coat, backpack

> and put his shoes on. Well today he yelled at the teacher about a

> library card. His aide told him to use nice words and not yell. He

> turned around and kicked her.

>

> My request for a functional behavior analysis continues to be denied.

> So far he is losing privleges and getting time outs. I want a more

> positive intervention.

>

> HELP!

>