mouth breather

[Guest guest]

My son is a mouth breather also. He used to have bad eating habits too, but we would just remind him to eat with his mouth closed and why he should. I would tell him he would gross girls out. He always wanted a girlfriend. Sometimes when you give them a reason they care about they do better with it. Or this has been true with my son. With all of their problems, they just need to be reminded, it's a constant, and somethings they may never get what we feel is right, but we have been able to teach my son things. He uses eye contact with me almost all the time too, but when he was younger teachers would work with him on this, and it helped. Now with other people if he is not comfortable around them or does not care for them, or strangers, he won't

use eye contact, I don't tell him anything about it because I know why. He doesn't want to carry on a conversation with them.

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[Guest guest]

I have been reminding my son for at least a year now to chew with his mout closed. His counselor who comes here twice a week has been working with him for a few months but he still has to be reminded constantly at every meal which makes my husband either mad or irritated.

( ) mouth breather

My son is a mouth breather also. He used to have bad eating habits too, but we would just remind him to eat with his mouth closed and why he should. I would tell him he would gross girls out. He always wanted a girlfriend. Sometimes when you give them a reason they care about they do better with it. Or this has been true with my son. With all of their problems, they just need to be reminded, it's a constant, and somethings they may never get what we feel is right, but we have been able to teach my son things. He uses eye contact with me almost all the time too, but when he was younger teachers would work with him on this, and it helped. Now with other people if he is not comfortable around them or does not care for them, or strangers, he won't use eye contact, I don't tell him anything about it because I know why. He doesn't want to carry on a conversation with them.

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[Guest guest]

When wants to "close down" he almost closes his eyes or looks the other way. He sometimes does this in Therapy says he can't breath with his mouth shut & it doesn't feel right with it closed while he eats. I do remember that he has a deviated septum. I wil have that checked. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363@...> wrote: My son is a mouth

breather also. He used to have bad eating habits too, but we would just remind him to eat with his mouth closed and why he should. I would tell him he would gross girls out. He always wanted a girlfriend. Sometimes when you give them a reason they care about they do better with it. Or this has been true with my son. With all of their problems, they just need to be reminded, it's a constant, and somethings they may never get what we feel is right, but we have been able to teach my son things. He uses eye contact with me almost all the time too, but when he was younger teachers would work with him on this, and it helped. Now with other people if he is not comfortable around them or does not care for them, or strangers, he won't use eye contact, I don't tell him anything about it because I know why. He doesn't want to carry on a conversation with them. Looking for last minute shopping

deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty

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[Guest guest]

Here is what we do / have done; we make it very private, planned, and do it like this; we basically make that the goal--that is the one thing we focus on (NO MATTER WHAT ELSE IS DRIVING US IN SANE AT THE TIME---we just want to stop--in your case, MOUTH OPENED EATING)----so, that IS what we reward, praise, etc.---

Personally, I have allergies and have always breathed through my mouth; I CAN breathe thru my nose but I don't get enough air so always do the deep breath about every 30-45 seconds to 'catch my breath.' As an adult now, I know that; no matter what I have done, meds, cleaning my nasal with the netty pot, etc., I cannot breathe well through my nose---I HAVE to breathe though!!

That being said, you child with special needs has to breathe, too!! And, while it may be gross, it can be worked on and taught....does child need to have some OT? I would start there; my son could NOT blow his nose / blow the air through it (she taught him to in OT)---he could not do lots of things actually but she taught him to; hard to breath through your nose if you cannot do it, physically! And, hard to blow your nose, if you cannot figure out how to blow air out it to do that; it is hard to learn for them!

So, start there; then, after medical reasoning is taken care of, that would be the goal until he chews with his mouth shut. Do rewards.....free ones; like your time, especially your husband, since he is the one that is most angered by something the child is doing, something which the child probably WISHES he could do but cannot help it; he is eating the best he can, 'cuz my guess is he cannot breathe through his nose and / or eat at the same time; in fact, he probably does not know how to breathe through his nose at all! I would check in to that. And, then, perhaps your husband needs to understand your son has ASPERGERS and CANNOT HELP IT but HE can learn how to work with him better and understand his son by learning about him, and being more tolerant; he looks at you because you have demanded and taught him to do so; adults with aspergers will STILL tell you they look at you because they were taught to but they still think it is dumb to do----they view it very literally, of why do I need to stare at you, and look in to your eyes all the time-while they LEARN to do it, they never really outgrow the 'dumbness' of it----and, when you think of it NT now, it really IS kind of ridiculous that we are so ridiculous about it; if they hear us, why do we care if they 'stare' at us?? (I don't know---I teach all of the right things by societal standards and expectations but realistically---I have started to 'see' through my two son's eyes, and we DO expect some 'dumb' things!! THEY ARE RIGHT!! Sometimes now, I think living in their shoes would NOT be all that bad (if we would just leave them alone-----I know I would go nuts and act out if I were them---wouldn't you if you weren't NT? and THEY were trying to make you ASPERGER'S, telling you everything you do is wrong, needs fixed----when you LOOK at it through their eyes, it becomes obvious they are being sooooo much more great and patient than probably any of us could be.....now, tonight at supper, maybe you should try breathing through your mouth the whole time you eat....OR YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD! Since he can breathe through his nose, your son can't, have your husband eat with only the ability to breathe through his nose---perhaps he could wear a clothes pen on his nose to the dinner table----GOOD LUCK!!! And, that should teach him to be more tolerant to his son---it won't be easy---and it is not for your son, either!! Instead of trying to make him do something he cannot, teach him a more polite way to chew with his mouth shut while breathing---he can breath through his mouth respectfully while chewing----and, if you show him the right way, a more polite way, he will do it---remember, they love 'rules' to follow, so give him a 'rule' to use---research if needed, but let us know how the clothes pin worked!!!! (your son will respect him more for trying to see his way, too!!!!)

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Oh, my....good luck. Where are you located? Probably NOT by Cedar Rapids, IA? I would even suggest finding ONE OTHER COUPLE with an ASPIES child, and 'running in to them'---they know you know, but they know your husband DOES NOT---and let him hear things FROM ANOTHER FAMILY JUST LIKE YOU---as we all are it seems.....

Perhaps the therapist needs to talk with the dad one-on-one, and see where he is (or isn't)---or, is it even more than he can handle, and you can, so he has reserved himself? My husband is extremely involved and I know that, but you probably would say he is not!! I am the leader by all means but most couples have that any way; I am married to my complete opposite; if I did not do everything, nothing would get done; if I did not have him we would always be in 'trouble' doing something we should not (could not afford, don't need to) going some where, etc.----we keep each other perfect and 'normal' yet we BOTH drive each other crazy. I do wonder if he is more involved than perhaps you know, and if he even is just frustrated because he tells him over and over (like we all do) and that doesn't work.....while it should, with aspies it doesn't.....

Solution, keep doing SOMETHING until something does; instead, sounds like he has reserved himself to giving up (which we all do some times)----and, he is doing it manly, the way it sounds....and, I must admit, it IS gross, so I see what he IS saying.

Good LUCK!!! Sounds like parenting class would be great but make sure they say IT IS THIS, IT HAS TO BE DONE THIS WAY---otherwise, he may just argue the semantics and it may do nothing helpful (great English but you know what I mean).

Ruthie