Re: homeschool/public school/Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Roxanna – So glad things are going well for your older

son. I hope it continues. I am worried about how well Tyler will do

once he is in community college and we don’t have the connection we now have

with his school and teachers. To answer your question, I have volunteered

one day a week at the school for the two years he has been there. I do

whatever is teachers or school head need me to. This year I also volunteered

to co-chair the fundraising event (dinner and silent auction) as the other

co-chair is a lot of fun and had done it the year before (which had also been

the first one). Sadly, her 16 year old son (her NT child) died three days

after Christmas. Needless to say, she was just devastated. So, I

wound up doing it basically by myself. I am very anal and a perfectionist

(GRIN) so I drove myself nuts as I so wanted it to be successful. We were

blessed as even with the economic challenges we managed to raise a little more

than we did last year. The event was awesome and I am still getting told

how great it was. My husband (Tyler’s stepdad) deserves a lot of

credit, too as he basically became my administrative assistant and helped with

all sorts of stuff. I plan to stay involved next year by helping with

this event again. I am really going to miss the students.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Roxanna

Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 11:27 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool/public school/

Hi ,

Thanks!

I used to think

this: " They all can't be Temple Grandin. " I mean, people

would always write and say how great their kids were once they turned 18 or 20

or something. Suddenly, things kicked into gear for them or they hit

college and were successful. I was a bit wary and felt that it must only

be for the very high functioning kids...all this success.

BUT, I must say,

that it's true for us - things have improved with time. Either

we get used to it all (lol) or it improves, not sure which.

<G> My 20 yo is doing really very well. Just a few years ago,

he could not even go to school and he had shut down completely. I was

afraid that he was not going to go any farther than where he was. That is

probably why I thought, " Hey, things are supposed to be getting better and

they are worse than ever! " He finished his last two years of high

school via home tutoring. At the time, it seemed like defeat to have to

do that but it turned out to be one of those surprises life throws at

you. He was successful at school finally with the 1-1 tutoring,

better than any year of school he'd ever been in. I think that success

helped build up his confidence so that he could go back to school and into

a classroom, where he has been for the last two years. He is really

thriving now that he can focus on something he is interested in vs. doing

" every subject. " I don't know how college will go. Can he

deal with the " regular " classes? I guess we'll find out.

When I think back

in his life and my experiences as his mom, I can think of two time periods that

were really tough/the hardest. One was the toddler years.

He couldn't talk and he screamed and headbanged a lot. We knew nothing

about autism, sensory processing, speech development. What a fall

into another world that was! Second worst was puberty. I didn't

think I would live to tell the tale with that period and unlike his toddler

years, so much was out of my personal control (school, friendships, etc.)

You know, as a toddler, we could buy him something with wheels and he was good

for a few hours of spinning. lol. That didn't work so well as a

teen....big sigh.

But when I think

of the best time period's - so far, this is it. He's 20 and he's starting

to find success with computers. The more success he has, the better he

does. It's a self feeding cycle. So I do have a lot of hope and I

must say that I finally do see how things do get better.

Even though we

knew early on that he had autism (by age 3), he has not had the early

intervention that kids today get. He went to school in the years before

" social skills " were buzz words. I had to argue to get

everything along the way and even then, people did not know how to work with

him once I did get services or therapies. There are different worries

now. But I didn't see a path to independence before. I see a path

now. It's blury but hey, it's there. lol.

Anyway, glad to

hear yours is doing well too! Fingers crossed things keep going up for

these guys!

What will you do

at the school/what do you do now?

Roxanna

" Suppose

you were an idiot.

And suppose you were a member of Congress.

But I repeat myself. "

~ Mark Twain

-----

Original Message -----

From: CIndy SBC

Sent: Sunday, April 05,

2009 12:22 PM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool/public school

Roxanna

- I love it when you say things like " I wanted to choke it right out of

him. " I just broke out laughing when I read that. And, many of

us feel like that with our children. I admire you as you seem to have so

much patience and you just keep plugging away. And, you have done this

for years upon years as you have several kids on the spectrum. I don't

know how you do it.

But,

as you have seen with your older son things do get easier and better as they

age and mature. My son will be 19 in May and will graduate from high

school. He spent the last two years at a private high school for kids

with Aspergers, ADHD, dyslexia, etc. They even have a lower functioning

group of kids that are what I call " classic autistic " . It has

been amazing to see the changes and growth he has made as well as many of the

other kids. I have been very involved with this school and truly

love the people there. In fact, I plan to stay involved even after Tyler

graduates. He is ready for community college and wants to study

computers. I do think at some point he can be independent but know that

is still several years away. We do still struggle with some things and

personal hygiene is a biggie. It just drives me crazy but I do think he

has sensory issues which we did not realize he had for years. He also has

not a clue about money or managing his money. This is something we are

working on as he has to learn this if he is ever going to be independent.

We have encouraged him to find a part-time job for the summer. He has

gone on his own to a game store and got an application, filled it out, and

returned it to the store.

Of

course, he was 15 before we got the Aspergers diagnosis. I do think it

would have been beneficial to him if we had gotten a diagnosis earlier.

Another thing we found very helpful for him is a " social

understanding " group that meets weekly. He has been doing this for

the last 3 years and we will continue with it for a while.

Like

you, I just continue to plug away and celebrate the progress he makes.

-----

Original Message -----

From: Roxanna

Sent: Sunday, April 05,

2009 11:00 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool/public school

My older ds did

school with a tutor the last two years of high school. The school

provided the tutor and we just changed the LRE to " home. " He

did REALLY well with the 1-1 tutoring. He went twice a week to the

library for a few hours, I think a total of 5 hours per week. After more success

in that program, he was able to go back to school the past two years now in a

computer program. I was worried he would never be able to go to a class

again but he is and is doing fine. Well, understatement, he is doing

FANTASTIC.

With my 12 yo, the story is similar to Robin's. My ds started having

problems in middle school (6th grade) and I chose to pull him out vs. argue

with the school. I have had to " advocate " with the school many

many times in the past. I decided that this time, we could not wait on

the bureaucracy to catch up to what he needed.

We e-school as

well and our ds has real teachers and classmates. He goes to class online

in " rooms " - like chat rooms. The kids can type in their

responses, questions, there is a " raise hand " icon and so

forth. Teachers present material or write on the screen and

lecture. My ds has books - one real life book and the rest are online

books. But they are " real " books, real curriculum. If he

doesn't make a class, they archive the classes so we watch them later.

My ds has a short

attention span as well. Geez, lol, but he spent all day Friday discussing

his " short attention span " until I wanted to choke it right out of

him. lol. He would just stare blankly at the material and say,

" I can't do this because I have a short attention span " then smack

himself in the head. Ugh. At any rate, the good thing with our

e-school is that they give you 7 days from the due date for all

assignments. So when we have bad days like Friday was, I can just say, " time

for a break " and not worry about having to do it right now. I can

" chunk " work that way and it works. The downside is that I have

to do A LOT of work with him. He doesn't work on his own so I have to

work with him most of the time. I really want to get him to the point where

he is more independent. But this is not happening right now. I keep

trying to give him work and have him do it on his own and it is spotty

still. It's just a process. And he is not that interested in

learning these things either. So we have to deal with that part of it as

well.

Roxanna

The

government’s view of the economy

could be summed up in a few short phrases:

If it moves, tax it.

If it keeps moving, regulate it.

And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

Reagan

-----

Original Message -----

From: and/or Robin Lemke

Sent: Sunday, April 05,

2009 11:14 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) homeschool/public school

My son couldn't do his

homework, either. It was horrible. Hours. Then we decided

we woudn't " do " homework. The teachers worked it

out so that he didnt' need to do much.

They modified.

It helped a lot. School was school (which

sucked). Home was home (his haven).

I think there's a lady on this " site " who's

child does school with a tutor. hmmmm.

Maybe that would get her out of the school environment yet

have her taught by more of a " professional " ....?????

Robin

From: susanonderko

<susanonderko@...>

Subject: Re: ( ) homeschool/public school

Date: Sunday, April 5, 2009, 8:30 AM

Robin your story of your

son's stuggles at school are ours now. She averages 40 tardies or school

refusal days a year. It is not only social isolation that is her issue but

she has the cognitive deficits that make written expression and math

difficut. I would like to follow your path but my concern is how would

sustain her attention.

She has a very low frustration tolerance and is highly reactive to

any stress. I have a hard time getting her to do any work at home.

I wish there was a way to structure a homeschool envionment with a few

teachers and a few students.

Thanks for sharing yor experiences,

Pam

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[Guest guest]

What if they would let him video tape it in private and then show it, could that

possibly work? Has he ever been interested at all in a drama class, or anything

related? Sometimes a " script " can help, but hey, they say people fear public

speaking more than death! LOL

Wow that he can even think about college tho is wonderful... all the statistics

point to the advantage through out life of even some college. Now my DS, that

would be his favorite class! The way the culinary instructor motivated him was

to tell him to pretend he was starring in his own Food Network Show everyday in

class...it worked!

sue in tn

>

> I was looking at the degrees from a local college here yesterday for my ds.

As soon as I saw " public speaking " I left my desk wondering how we would get

past that hurdle. I am not sure he would even attend such a class, let alone

speak in it. I don't know how we will navigate college at all. It can be

frustrating. I guess we should go talk to the office of disabilities but we are

slow here.

>

[Guest guest]

My ds is the opposite - not an "outie" like yours but an "innie." <g> He would hate drama class and doesn't really see the point in a lot of social stuff. People talk "too much", he says. lol.

I did talk to him yesterday about a speech course in college and he said he could probably get through such a class if he had to. I was surprised but pleased that he would agree to try it. So maybe it is not as hopeless as I thought. Also, the sped people at the school said we may be able to get accommodations like you just said - taping it or giving speeches to just the teacher, etc. It will depend on which school and their policies. So I told my ds to get busy and look at which school he would want to attend so we can start figuring out how much help they will provide, the cost and all that good stuff. We are so far behind in getting this stuff done but I guess, better late than never.

They are all wearing me out lately. I am trying to juggle this "think I want to go to college stuff/end of IEP stuff" with one, MFE eval with the youngest, and then my middle ds (hfa) is getting really depressed and lethargic and is not keeping up with his e-school stuff. So we see the med doc with that today. I wish I had a few clones and could send them all out to deal with things while I just napped. Or hid. Or jumped. lol.....Wah!

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) Re: homeschool/public school/Roxanna

What if they would let him video tape it in private and then show it, could that possibly work? Has he ever been interested at all in a drama class, or anything related? Sometimes a "script" can help, but hey, they say people fear public speaking more than death! LOLWow that he can even think about college tho is wonderful... all the statistics point to the advantage through out life of even some college. Now my DS, that would be his favorite class! The way the culinary instructor motivated him was to tell him to pretend he was starring in his own Food Network Show everyday in class...it worked!sue in tn>> I was looking at the degrees from a local college here yesterday for my ds. As soon as I saw "public speaking" I left my desk wondering how we would get past that hurdle. I am not sure he would even attend such a class, let alone speak in it. I don't know how we will navigate college at all. It can be frustrating. I guess we should go talk to the office of disabilities but we are slow here. >

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[Guest guest]

I am going to title this post... " and people in hell want ice water! "

Re college, definitely look at the the College Learning Experience Web site for

some ideas to at least ask his school for.

College Living Experience (CLE) helps students with special needs attend college

and learn the skills necessary to live as independent adults. CLE provides

academic, social and independent living skills support to young adults with a

variety of special needs. It, of course, sounds, fantastic! It is like MOM in a

program! The catch of course, is cost. Starts at $33,000. The representative I

spoke with was wonderful and sent me a whole list of resources of scholarships

and student loans. It was very discouraging. If you have a student with special

needs, most likely they are not " scholarship material " for the vast majority.

And, most likely they are not going to have job with $700/month for ten years to

spare to pay off studen loan.

Yes, there are a few that are great students, class presidents, started their

own business at age 10, etc. but not my child!

In a way, what they do is very much like what JobCorps does. However, he has not

gotten everything out of Job Corps that he could possibly absorb. That is his

modus operandii. So I have consoled myself that even if we had $33,000 to spend,

he probably would not get that kind of benefit out of it. So after reading the

high bar they set in terms of scholarships, the enormous costs, etc, I felt like

I was in " hell " and wanted some icewater!

On the other hand, she did tell me that New Mexico and Colorado office of

disabilities for their states had paid for a student to have CLE program. (They

do have a program in Denver) but most of the states were not willing to spend

any on someone going out of state or in Tennesse's case, spend on someone in

state. But what CLE does sounds like a success guarantee!

That is fantastic that he is going to college and willing to do a speech class.

Like I said, people (as in adults and NTs!) fear public speaking over death.

Sue in Tn

> >

> > I was looking at the degrees from a local college here yesterday for my

ds. As soon as I saw " public speaking " I left my desk wondering how we would get

past that hurdle. I am not sure he would even attend such a class, let alone

speak in it. I don't know how we will navigate college at all. It can be

frustrating. I guess we should go talk to the office of disabilities but we are

slow here.

> >

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