Re: New to the Group.. Son, age 7 has AS & ADHD with Depression

[Guest guest]

When I was living with my ex-boyfriend (father to my younger NT daughter, "step" father to my son who at the time was diagnosed w/ ADHD and later Aspergers) we had difficulties too. My parents lived in town and Dylan would stay with them a couple of times per week to give everyone a break. It helped tremendously. I'm not sure if you have any type of option like that, but it made a difference. We eventually broke up and that probably made an even bigger difference in terms of the affect that relationship was having on my son. Not advocating divorce here though. They get along good though now! It was from 5-9 that we had the most problems.

They seemed to get along best when it was just the two of them. Can they go do things outside of the home together? Like maybe fishing or bowling or something similar? I got to the point of being so sensitive of what was happening between the two of them, I constantly put myself in the position of referree. Not to say it wasn't warranted quite often, but I don't think it always helped the situation.

I'd also make sure you were spending one-on-one time w/ your husband whenever possible. I could see a direct relation between how much and my son got along w/ how well me and were getting along.

Good for you for the therapy! I'd say to hang in there and don't expect miracles overnight. It's a slow process.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Amber Wolfe <amberbloodwolfe@...> Sent: Monday, May 11, 2009 6:29:08 AMSubject: ( ) New to the Group.. Son, age 7 has AS & ADHD with Depression

Hi All, Name is . We are from NW Pennsylvania. I am a newly married mother to a 7 year old son who has Asperger's and ADHD. Mainly I am here to get support and hopefully make some new friends.My son, Liam, and husband, Sam, are having major difficulties. We all see a family and private therapist to help with this. However, my guys just can't seem to get along until the rare occasion I am not around. Sam has a really hard time dealing with Liam's... 'personality' and symptoms. Is there anyone here who is a step-parent to a child with AS or AS/ADHD or even PDD-NOS.. or anywhere on the spectrum?These two really need help.. and I'm tired of being wedged into the middle. Love & Blessings, A

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I can understand your situation. My husband also has problems dealing with my

son's differences. He is really trying, but can't seem to get that his son is

nothing like him, and probably really doesn't want to be.

My son's obsession is with insects and reptiles, two things my husband really

can't stand. I'm fine with them, so I get along better with my son through

these mediums. However, my husband, I think, could deal better with my son's

other obsessions of building with blocks and creating things that way. If only

my husband could have the patience to deal with him. Again, he is trying. As

long as the adult will try, little times of communication can come.

I would suggest that your husband read books on Aspergers, and maybe Parenting

the Explosive Child. If he doesn't read, read them to him. Or get them on

books on tape. I think it really helps to understand that your child is not the

only different one out there, and that there are better ways to help you deal

with those differences. And that those differences can help your child be

amazing, too.

Good luck.

ah

>

> Hi All, Name is . We are from NW Pennsylvania. I am a newly married

mother to a 7 year old son who has Asperger's and ADHD. Mainly I am here to get

support and hopefully make some new friends.

>

> My son, Liam, and husband, Sam, are having major difficulties. We all see a

family and private therapist to help with this. However, my guys just can't seem

to get along until the rare occasion I am not around. Sam has a really hard time

dealing with Liam's... 'personality' and symptoms. Is there anyone here who is a

step-parent to a child with AS or AS/ADHD or even PDD-NOS.. or anywhere on the

spectrum?

> These two really need help.. and I'm tired of being wedged into the middle.

> Love & Blessings, A

>