Miserable couple of days...

[Guest guest]

I screwed up.

I thought we had a week left of my sons Concerta, and we didn’t.

I ran out on the weekend, and of course the dr’s office was closed

Saturday, Sunday AND Monday. So three days without medication for my son, for

the first time since he started taking it over a year ago.

I thought… ok. This should be interesting. It was FAR from

interesting It was MISERABLE !!!

He was miserable. He told me he couldn’t listen to me

because he couldn’t hear me… too many other noises. As the days

went on, he got worse. I realized that not only has the Concerta helped his “ADHD”

type symptoms, but WOW has it helped in other areas too. Stimming is one area.

For him, it’s ALWAYS been echolalia. From Kindergarten, there was always

the comments from teachers about “nonsense noises”. Well my boy has

been making them NON STOP for the last three days. And it took that to show me

how LITTLE he’s been doing it while TAKING the Concerta. Another area? He

has been so LIPPY the last few days Really, really terrible. Completely no

thought about anyone else but himself, and up to this point, he’s

actually been making huge efforts to be concerned about others, etc. But today?

My gosh… we went into the DR to get a prescription refill (PHEW!) and

every time the DR would say something, he’d “talk back” to

him. Thankfully, our dr is wonderful and just laughed it off… but I was

quite honestly shocked. And another thing I was? Completely scared, and lost

Despite the research I’ve done, I realized how much that medication has

helped him and continues to help him, and I don’t know that we could

focus on helping my son with all his other areas of struggle without it. I hate

giving it to him, but I can’t deny that it helps. He told me… “Mom,

my brain is just spinning too fast.” and “Everything is too hard,

too confusing, and too scary!” I also learned that I have MUCH

to learn when it comes to AS and how to help him. We will be waiting a long

time for that DX, but I need to know how to help him NOW! Oy.

To make the last few days even worse, my youngest broke his

elbow. The boys were playing, beautifully actually, driving their cars around.

They’d decided that underneath my bed was a “Garage”. I was

thrilled to see their creativity, esp. my eldest, because that’s not a

strength for him when it come to play. He was even letting his little brother

come up with a few ideas, and that’s not something that EVER happens lol.

Anyway… all of a sudden I heard this blood curdling scream. Apparently my

youngest was under the bed, with his arms up on the bed, and my eldest was on

top of the bed. He moved over, and it pushed my boy’s arm down with a

twist to the side, and he told us it “cracked”. It was one of

those things that neither of them planned, or had any control over. It was a

complete accident.

WELL my eldest, he lost it. When I went to help my youngest out

from under the bed, he was SCREAMING, and my eldest was on the floor looking

under the bed, frozen like a deer in headlights. He had NO idea what to do.

After we checked my youngest out, and realized we had to take him to the DR, my

eldest was running around the house, crying, angry… lashing out. I tried to

talk to him and he kept pushing me away (SO not like him… esp. with me.

Normally he’ll push others away, but NEVER me!). He said “I am

going to kill myself” I finally helped him calm down, and figured out

that he thought he was somehow responsible for what happened to his little

brother. It took me FOREVER to convince him that it was JUST an accident, and

it wasn’t anything he did. I was quite shocked by his response… but

given that he hasn’t been taking his medication, I guess I’m not AS

surprised, because he was SO quick to negativity before medications, too. Never

that severe… that really scared me

I am trying to remind myself that a GOOD chunk of this is just

the shocking “cold turkey” of it all for him. His body had gotten

used to it. And if I’ve ever had my doubts about giving him medication,

and it being the right thing for him, but I can’t question it anymore. I

don’t care about how he behaves, and if it makes things easier for me,

etc. I love him no matter what. But it REALLY does make things easier for

HIM!!!

MAN it’s been a long few days I’m gonna go have a

rum and put my feet up lol…

=)