RE: Re: Ok, help... !!

[Guest guest]

Thank you, ah. I will share those videos with the school! I

have been doing lots of writing, and plan to go into the meeting prepared. Most

of all, I want them to know (though I’ve already told them) that they

have, in me, a completely open and honest parent, who, while my #1 priority is

advocating for my child, is completely open to working WITH them, and is

available to help at ANY time. I’ll let you know how it goes

On another topic… I had my youngest into see our family DR

today, to request that he get ON the referral so we can “Get the piece of

paper” that will open up opportunities for support for him. This “doctor”

looked at him and said “Well, based on my clinical observations (which was

45 seconds of asking my youngest a few questions, and then asking if the dr

could hold his teddy bear, which he obliged him on), he’s fine. Kids with

Aspergers won’t share their toys, and can’t be social with anyone,

and he did great with both. So he’s ok.”

I looked at him and said “It is clear to me that you have

much to learn about Aspergers and ASD’s in general. Please send the referral

and I’ll deal with people who are in the know.” And I walked out of

his office. I was shaking I was so furious. Why do we have to fight so hard???

I’m not unwilling to fight, trust me… but I still don’t think

it’s the way things should be.

=)

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of maryahmaki

Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:57 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: Ok, help... !!

Oh, Man,

Two with AS? It sounds like you will have some job ahead of you. However, your

youngest will probably benefit from your and the school's learning through your

oldest.

Well, as to the IEP: How long ago did you move? Are you in the same school

district, the same state, or a totally different area? His IEP should have

followed him (but I'm not sure all the rules for different areas if you moved

far). However, the secretary or the Special Education Teacher should have already

requested his IEP. It sounds like something you might have to spend the day at

the school requesting and waiting for the faxes from your old school.

Especially before the meeting between the principal and teachers. The IEP would

go a long way in helping to set up a behavior plan for your oldest with his new

school. You should really request that the involved people watch the online

video recommended to me on the website bcasc.org Children with Autism parts 1

and 2. It was great and it really could go a long way toward these school

workers understanding things a little better. My son had in his behavior plan

for all teachers and workers keeping an eye on him so that his frustration

could be noticed by a teacher, then he could get a time out space or sent to

the counselor to help calm him before he could get into trouble. It also states

that several warnings and meetings would have to take place before he was ever

suspended. It also gives him the right to have space around him in line, on

buses, during assemblies, etc. so that people touching him would not cause so

much frustration. All these things, plus other teacher's understanding really

has gone a long way to help.

As for your younger son, it's a very good possibility that he will just have to

get into trouble quite a bit before the school really starts to notice and

request the evaluation themselves. It still takes a while, but if the school

requests it, it can go faster. However, when you meet with principal and

teachers, you might bring up the fact that you believe that he has AS, too.

They might be willing to work with you on some of these same ideas to help keep

him out of trouble. Once a teacher really understands and sees that these

interventions really help, they are much more willing to keep doing them to

help keep peace in the classroom.

Good luck in your meeting.

ah

>

> My eyes are wide open now, and I am realizing that I don't have one child

> with Aspergers Syndrome, I have two.

>

>

>

> My youngest is in kindergarten, and has been struggling. This isn't the

> first time he's had struggles. He was kicked out of preschool, and, like a

> fool, I thought it was the terrible awful preschool (which was terrible

and

> awful), and they gave me the option of placing him in another class, and I

> said NO, and kept him home. I don't regret that.

>

>

>

> Kindergarten before we moved, she eluded to some issues with personal

space,

> but it was a VERY VERY structured classroom and the teacher was amazingly

> supportive and positive, so he thrived there. Now, not so much. Despite

the

> fact that there's only 12 children in his classroom, INCLUDING him, he is

> struggling. He struggles on the bus. He struggles going into the classroom

> (transitions much?). He struggles during unstructured times. He has been

> getting out of his seat on the bus, hitting kids in the hallway.

yesterday,

> a child was running in the hall, and he took it upon himself to

" correct "

> that child's behavior, and grabbed his shirt to get him to stop running,

> which meant he choked the other child.

>

>

>

> I already started a communication book with the teacher, which I asked her

> to write down when problems arise, WHAT is happening. She's not being very

> cooperative so far.

>

>

>

> So then, I get a call from my eldests teacher. Apparently my ELDEST hit a

> child on the bus, too. And there's been some issues with swearing.

>

>

>

> I have a meeting with the school on Thursday, I think it will be with both

> kids teachers, and the principal. I am WAITING for an appointment to get

an

> official diagnosis for my eldest, but the wait time is ridiculous. I am

> getting a referral from our family DR to the child development clinic for

my

> youngest now, too, as I am sure this is what we're facing.

>

>

>

> What should I have with me, ready, prepared, etc. going into this meeting

on

> Thursday? How do I get their teachers on board? I know I am a GREAT Mom,

and

> have NO problem advocating for my children. and yet on the other hand, I

> feel soooo lost.

>

>

>

> What kind of things can I insist for my kids? What kind of accommodations

> should I be requesting? What am I not doing that I could/should be doing

to

> make life easier for my kids?

>

>

>

> Already I've decided that my youngest will get a ride to school with me in

> the morning (the other bus isn't an issue, as it's just the 12 kids going

> home, the kids know JUST what to expect, and she sings songs with them,

etc.

> They also each get their own seat.). I am sure they will fight me on that,

> but I don't care

>

>

>

> I am sure this is sounding scattered, but that's sort of how I'm feeling

on

> all this right now anyway. So some clarification and guidance would be

MUCH

> appreciate.

>

>

>

> Thank you SO much in advance.

>

>

>

> =)

>

> Ps - youngest is 5yrs old and in Kindergarten, eldest is 8 and in grade 3.

> Eldest had an IEP before we moved, and I'm frustrated that nothing has

been

> discussed on that topic since our arrival here. I want to have something

set

> up for him going into next year, new teacher, etc. Youngest has NO iep, no

> accommodations, and has never been tested. We'd be on a wait list for an

> assessment through the school, and a private one costs $1700 and that's

out

> of the question I'd like a new one for my eldest as well, but the same

> problems exist.

>