Re: Help! My son has asperger's with adhd and I need ...

[Guest guest]

Jolinna that is ridiculous. How could you have stopped her from having a meltdown anyway. I carry a card from The National Autism Registry around with me that explains 's meltdowns. Take care,Betty Jolinna <jolinna@...> wrote: You can't avoid meltdowns b/c

they are going to happen on some occasions. But you can't be manipulated into not holding your children accountable for their behavior due to your fear of the meltdowns, you just have to get creative. We went through my now 19yod screaming herself into an asthma attack because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. I actually had a social worker (I was turned in for telling my kids I would leave them if they didn’t put their shoes on) tell me letting her scream herself into an asthma attack and then giving her a nebulizer treatment was abuse. I ask her if I was

just supposed to give in every time she decided to throw a fit. She didn’t have an answer. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of MacAllister

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[Guest guest]

Where did you get this card - was it pre-made that you bought, or did you make something up? J. Jewel <truegrittle@...> wrote: My card says it all. It explains why & also that it is not because of poor parent skills. Everyone should have this card. I love to see the faces on these people that I hand it to. I always make sure I get it back. Betty BRYAN DOLEZAL

<DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: I agree with you, Betty; this is where you should get out a book on Asperger's and MAKE THE WOMAN read about the symptoms and characteristics Aspies / Autistic kids do......the reason the social worker did not answer was because you are right but they have removed kids from their parents for lesser things; they think WE are crazy; I often post with a concern of that, because we are seen as the bad parents / that is PART OF THE PROBLEM----the system thinks we are sooooo horrible we created our children to be like this by ill parenting, when in fact it is because it is part of a diagnosis; what is unfair is how we are treated... That is why I GET ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED when there are postings about

how we have to hold our kids accountable, not be manipulated, etc.....because THAT is the very mentality of the professionals very opinion for YEARS to us as parents and THAT IS WRONG----I have always help my children accountable for THAT WHICH THEY CAN CONTROL----but, that is like telling a diabetic to quit being diabetic (in my opinion) or someone pregnant to just not be pregnant today-----THAT is how I see it----especially in MY children---as they age, you can ASK them--they hate acting that way as much as we do and want to STOP but do not know how----THAT is, in other words....beyond them. WE DO talk of coping skills, and ways to possibly prevent it in the future / identifying when it is coming on, etc. but we just have to ensure we meet each of our own unique children at THEIR own levels..... Ruthie ----- Original

Message ----- From: Jewel Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 6:14 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Re: Help! My son has Asperger's with adhd and I need ... Jolinna that is ridiculous. How could you have stopped her from having a meltdown anyway. I carry a card from The National Autism Registry around with me that explains 's meltdowns. Take care,Betty Jolinna <jolinnacableone (DOT) net> wrote: You can't avoid meltdowns b/c they are going to happen on some occasions. But you can't be manipulated into not holding your children accountable for their behavior due to your fear of the meltdowns, you just have to get creative. We went through my now 19yod screaming herself into an asthma attack because she wasn't getting what she wanted. I actually had a social worker (I was turned in for telling my kids I would leave them if they didn't put their shoes on) tell me letting her scream herself into an asthma attack and then giving her a nebulizer treatment was abuse. I ask her if I was just supposed to give in every time she decided to throw a fit. She didn't have an answer. From: [mailto: ]

On Behalf Of MacAllister Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

This reminds me of a time when my youngest son's speech therapist called and my son with autism answered the phone and said that mommy was not available at the moment, she was in a parental time-out. With five kids, there are times I just have to say that unless someone is bleeding to leave me alone.

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[Guest guest]

When my kids were little I had no support

system and I would get really overwhelmed at times,. When this happened I

would tell them, “Mommy is not doing a good job controlling herself.

Mommy has to go in time-out.” That was a way they could understand

that they needed to leave me alone. I would go to my room and leave the

door open, have my oldest put in a movie for them and then spend some time

calming down.

Jolinna

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Monday, January 07, 2008 6:29 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Re: Help! My son has asperger's with adhd and I need ...

I don't

know about that! My son is 19 and " timeouts " himself when things get

rough. He goes up to his room and closes his door (slams it if things are

REALLY bad) and hangs out or reads until he feels better. I like positive

reinforcers, but think there is a definite place for timeouts in this world.

Liz

On Jan 6,

2008, at 2:33 AM,

MacAllister wrote:

Since your

children are older, the timeout method I've used for my son over the past 6

years really isn't appropriate.

[Guest guest]

J, You just google "National Autism Registry" & the first thing that comes up is (Dimensions Therapy Center) then click on it & the cards will come on, There are two cards for different reasons & I sent for both of them. They will come in the mail. Good Luck,Betty "Jo T." <jort2001@...> wrote: Where did you get this card - was it pre-made that you bought, or did you make something up? J. Jewel <truegrittle > wrote: My card says it all. It explains why & also that it is not because of poor parent skills. Everyone should have this card. I love to see the faces on these people that I hand it to. I always make sure I get it back. Betty BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: I agree with you, Betty; this is

where you should get out a book on Asperger's and MAKE THE WOMAN read about the symptoms and characteristics Aspies / Autistic kids do......the reason the social worker did not answer was because you are right but they have removed kids from their parents for lesser things; they think WE are crazy; I often post with a concern of that, because we are seen as the bad parents / that is PART OF THE PROBLEM----the system thinks we are sooooo horrible we created our children to be like this by ill parenting, when in fact it is because it is part of a diagnosis; what is unfair is how we are treated... That is why I GET ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED when there are postings about how we have to hold our kids accountable, not be manipulated, etc.....because THAT is the very mentality of the professionals very opinion for YEARS to us as parents and THAT IS WRONG----I have always help my children accountable for THAT WHICH THEY CAN CONTROL----but, that is like

telling a diabetic to quit being diabetic (in my opinion) or someone pregnant to just not be pregnant today-----THAT is how I see it----especially in MY children---as they age, you can ASK them--they hate acting that way as much as we do and want to STOP but do not know how----THAT is, in other words....beyond them. WE DO talk of coping skills, and ways to possibly prevent it in the future / identifying when it is coming on, etc. but we just have to ensure we meet each of our own unique children at THEIR own levels..... Ruthie RE: ( ) Re: Help! My son has Asperger's with adhd and I need ... Jolinna that is ridiculous. How could you have stopped her from having a meltdown anyway. I carry a card from The National Autism Registry around with me that explains 's meltdowns. Take care,Betty Jolinna <jolinnacableone (DOT) net> wrote: You can't avoid meltdowns b/c they are going to happen on some occasions. But you can't be manipulated into not holding your children accountable for their behavior due to your fear of the meltdowns, you just have to get creative. We went through my now 19yod screaming herself into an asthma attack because she wasn't getting what she wanted. I actually had a social worker (I was turned in for telling my kids I would leave them if they didn't put their shoes on)

tell me letting her scream herself into an asthma attack and then giving her a nebulizer treatment was abuse. I ask her if I was just supposed to give in every time she decided to throw a fit. She didn't have an answer. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of MacAllister Looking for

last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

as an R.N. I have seen many doctors and psychologist and other

" professional "

types of people in my career and one thing that I know for a fact is this:

Fifty percent of all licensed people graduate at the BOTTOM on their class. Lay

people

should always remember that.

PDD is NOT a diagnosis. It is a label placed on a child when the " doctor " is not

sure what i

a real diagnosis is, but it is NOT a diagnosis in and of itself.

In my nursing career I have worked psych (staff nurse, charge nurse, then

evening hospital

supervisor for a private psych hospital for short term care. I can tell you that

I have never

seen a patient with more than two psych related diagnosis. Most of the time the

correct

diagnosis will cover the symptoms of the other (previous) diagnosis so IME one

will not

have Asperger's, a mood disorder and OCD. Ad for having Bipolar disorder maybe

our 17

year old experiences both manic and depressive episodes and does not truly have

ADD. It

may actually be the depression presenting itself with the bipolar personality.

As for struggling for two decades with no help I can feel your frustration and

pain in that.

I did that for so long with my daughter who is yet to be diagnoses but is now 21

and

married. And society as a whole STILL silently (most of the time) looks at a

child's behavior

as resulting from parental inadequacies. I have been so angered by some of my

own

neighbor's actions that I have found myself wishing an Aspie child on THEM just

so i could

see how THEY handle it all. Then I stop, because I would feel sorry for the

child to have

such a parent. <vbg>

Here is link that describes Asperger's a bit. Do you see your child(ren)

anywhere in here?

Good place to start to try to sort throughall these diagnoses you have gotten.

Take care to

include the entire link.

http://www.autismsociety.org/site/PageServerpagename=about_whatis_asperger#diagn\

os

is

Dee

>

> Hi, I am new here. My son is 18 now, diagnosed with PDD-NOS with Asperger's

> tendencies. He also has anxiety, mood disorder, OCD, etc. I have been

> struggling with meltdowns and no concept of money and all sorts of things for

> almost two decades now. My problem is that I have 4 other kids. If I pay

him

> to do chores then I will have to pay the 17 year old (bipolar and ADD) and

the

> two 14 year old girls (frankly, that is the definition of mood disorder). We

> don't have the money. Anyone else out there dealing with this with siblings

> in the mix? Also, it is so nice to hear these behaviors from other people.

> For so long I thought I was a terrible parent.

>

> Jean

>

>

>

> **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

> http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

>