Re: Newbie here, but looking for veteran's input

[Guest guest]

One suggestion I have is to contact your state's DHS (Department of Health and Human Services);

some stated call it DPS (Department of Public health and human services), SRS (Social and Rehabilitative Services);

it is where you get food stamps, childcare assistance, medical insurance help (Title 19, Medicaid, whatever you want

to call it) and check in to your state's waiver programs and sign up right away for one for your child; we get MHI (mental

health waivers for our two special needs sons--one needs the ILL and Handicapped waiver because the manager is worried she

cannot keep him qualified for MHI due to his needs; you re-up annually but can get equipment to meet the child's needs in the

home, services (like therapy, community support, and respite) all in the home which is great for YOU, your spouse, Your OTHER

child (ren), and the child....................my 8 year old is THRIVING and diagnosed since the age of 5; our services are a blessing to

him and to us...............they will also give you ideas, tips, etc. to help him with HIS specific behaviors and issues....

As for what you are talking about; I am not exactly sure but I would suggest contacting your local OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY center

and asking for a COMPLETE SENSORY DIET EVALUATION for your child just diagnosed for Aspergers. He will be evaluated for sensory things,

our 15 1/2 year old when he was diagnosed years ago, we discovered he had vision issues that required vision therapy, as well as processing

problems, sensory issues, etc, so that is a huge benefit. In fact, our diagnostition SENT us for this evaulation upon diagnoses! So, I would

strongly encourage that. We have done O.T., which helps a lot, and they will give you ideas and solutions on how to help your child with

his specific issues. A GOD SEND>

Good luck.

Ruthie & Dolezal

From: doyourecycle@...Date: Sat, 23 May 2009 17:41:45 +0000Subject: ( ) Newbie here, but looking for veteran's input

My ds is 8 and in 2nd grade. His diagnosis is Asperger's, but I'm starting to wonder if there is another undiagnosed issue we haven't found?While he was only recently diagnosed, he's had episodes where he would suddenly explode. I thought it was just that he was a planning type and needed more notice of any transition. We chalked it up to that and we adapted ways to help him w/ transitions. He started getting upset with many other issues in his life and I found the book, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Green and it's been very helpful. I thought we had a willful child. He is my 2nd--there's a big age gap between the two.The issues now are that he explodes whenever he gets dissapointed or he doesn't get something he wants. For example: On the way home from school we started talking about items we would sell at our garage sale. He asked when we would have it. I told him I'm still getting items together but I thought it would be next Sat. or Sun. **KABOOM** He screamed, why not today??? He ran off, threw his backpack and kicked his shoes off outside and continued to scream for maybe 5 to 7 minutes.Today: We bought a new coffee machine (we still have and use the old one) and put it in the house. It was all wrapped up. He wanted to open it NOW. (We have no kitchen and no electrical outlets, so there is nothing operating in that room yet.) I told him when the electrician comes to install the outlets we can use it. **KABOOM** HIgh pitched shreiking and screaming I want to do it NOW.He refused to go to his safe place inspite of a conversation he and I had yesterday about how to handle these situations that just happened. He finally, today for the first time, went up to his safe place. (yes, this semi-thrills me, but I can't get all happy about a one-time thing yet.)Does this behavior fall into his sensory processing issues? He has some seemingly minor sensory issues with touch and sound, but how does this specific behavior fall into this category--if at all?Does this seem Asperger's related or do you think of something else from what I've described?Thanks for reading ?)

[Guest guest]

My son is 12. He was diagnosed at age 3. When he was smaller he angered

easily. It became very bad when we moved and he ended up in a school where the

staff did not get asperger syndrome at all. " Oh we know ALLL about asperger

syndrome. " Yeah, that's what they said. Always makes me think of a certain

scene in Gone With the Wind. Anyway, 's anger, outbursts and anxiety went

through the roof and we were very scared. Once we got him into the right

environment the anger issues slowly decreased and now we barely see any at all.

definitely had trouble with frustration. He had trouble waiting and

wanting things to happen immediately. I feel pretty certain that without the

early diagnosis we might have had trouble for much longer. Though I did happen

upon a parenting book before was diagnosed that I think helped immensely.

It just assumes all behavior has a cause and a function. Which is perfect for a

kid with asperger syndrome. It wasn't specifically for asperger syndrome,

however. The book is called Raising Your Spirited Child. It is a short, easy

read with practical suggestions. I bought it at a yard sale for 50 cents but I

doubt it would be terribly expensive new.

When we moved again about 18 months ago I interrogated and visited schools

before we bought our house. The school we ended up choosing has the book

Raising Your Spirited Child in their guidance counselor's office. It is

well-thumbed. LOL. This wasn't the sole deciding factor but everyone there was

so easy going and kind and they said things that really showed they knew about

AS. It has been an excellent place for and his aggression and outbursts

have all but disappeared. No physical aggression at school at ALL this year.

NOTHING! Wow.

We live in NH which is, supposedly, a really good place for special education.

It has been my experience here that there is truth in that. We went to a doctor

who also worked with Dr. Volkmer (sp?) at Yale. He really DOES know all about

asperger syndrome. He explained things to me that I'd always wondered about and

that no other doctor could address. Anyway, he said some things about

co-morbidity that made so much sense.

He said that a lot of asperger kids will develop, or seem to develop other

conditions due to stress and that once the stress is gone the other condition

will disappear. This happened with . Seriously, I was scared out of my

mind. We thought was having psychotic episodes. He had just been placed

in a regular math classroom. He had been slowly working toward having all of

his classes in the regular room but in TX they didn't have 1:1 people most of

the time. They had a separate social skills classroom in the good school we

finally found. It was a new thing. They aren't good at inclusion there.

So a few days after was placed in the regular math class he suddenly

screamed a terrible scream and ran out of the room. He said he saw a man on the

ceiling who said he was going to hurt 's sister. He tried to run away from

school and he was still upset several hours later when he got home from school.

He ran to his sister and gave her a hug relieved that she was okay. He really

seemed quite sure this is what he saw. Shortly afterwards 's brilliant and

wonderful special ed teacher said, " We think he's too stressed in the new math

placement and we'd like to bring him back to the centralized room for a while

and try again next year (it was almost the end of the school year). I was all

for it. We did that and within a short while we stopped hearing about the man

on the ceiling. We never were sure if it was a psychotic episode. One

counselor was quite convinced it was and insisted we medicate him. Another

seemed unsure and said the only way to tell was to put him on medication and see

if the episodes go away. Well, since we only had 2-3 episodes over a pretty

long period it would have been impossible to tell if they went away due to

medication. Once 's stress levels were gone the episodes were gone. I told

the doctor here in NH about this and he said, " Yes, you have just described what

I'm talking about and in a much better way than I ever could. That is exactly

what I mean. "

It is very important to structure an asperger person's environment. What that

means is looking for triggers and eliminating them as much as possible. Using

Social Stories to prepare you son for disappointments and frustrating situations

can be a big help too. " When we get the new coffee maker it will be in a box.

My mom and dad will want to leave it in the box until they are ready to set it

up and use it. " Come up with alternatives for things he can do other than

opening the box. " It is okay for me to be upset about not being able to open

the box. When I feel upset I can go to my safe place. I can tell my parents I

am upset. " You can give him something small that is in a package and let him

open that instead. Like a dollar store toy that is in a box or package. You

can surprise him with it when you arrive home and say, " Well, we can't open the

coffee maker right now but you can open this. "

For social Stories look for books by the author Carol Gray. The books I'm

mentioning are all in regular bookstores or on amazon. You can probably get

them used in a local used bookstore or from ebay.

Not sure if I'm making much sense. Let me know. I have a TON of ideas for

specific situations. Anticipating stressful and frustrating situations will be

good. Keep a log of when the explosive behavior happens. Note what happened

before and after. Think about several hours prior to the actual explosion

because if several smaller upsets happen througout a day then that can

eventually build up and lead to an explosion.

You are doing great. Hugs,

Miriam

In , " lovetoeatchocolatecake " <doyourecycle@...>

wrote:

>

> My ds is 8 and in 2nd grade. His diagnosis is Asperger's, but I'm starting to

wonder if there is another undiagnosed issue we haven't found?

>

> While he was only recently diagnosed, he's had episodes where he would

suddenly explode. I thought it was just that he was a planning type and needed

more notice of any transition. We chalked it up to that and we adapted ways to

help him w/ transitions. He started getting upset with many other issues in his

life and I found the book, " The Explosive Child " by Ross Green and it's been

very helpful. I thought we had a willful child. He is my 2nd--there's a big age

gap between the two.

>

> The issues now are that he explodes whenever he gets dissapointed or he

doesn't get something he wants. For example: On the way home from school we

started talking about items we would sell at our garage sale. He asked when we

would have it. I told him I'm still getting items together but I thought it

would be next Sat. or Sun. **KABOOM** He screamed, why not today??? He ran off,

threw his backpack and kicked his shoes off outside and continued to scream for

maybe 5 to 7 minutes.

>

> Today: We bought a new coffee machine (we still have and use the old one) and

put it in the house. It was all wrapped up. He wanted to open it NOW. (We have

no kitchen and no electrical outlets, so there is nothing operating in that room

yet.) I told him when the electrician comes to install the outlets we can use

it. **KABOOM** HIgh pitched shreiking and screaming I want to do it NOW.

>

> He refused to go to his safe place inspite of a conversation he and I had

yesterday about how to handle these situations that just happened. He finally,

today for the first time, went up to his safe place. (yes, this semi-thrills me,

but I can't get all happy about a one-time thing yet.)

>

> Does this behavior fall into his sensory processing issues? He has some

seemingly minor sensory issues with touch and sound, but how does this specific

behavior fall into this category--if at all?

>

> Does this seem Asperger's related or do you think of something else from what

I've described?

>

> Thanks for reading ?)

>

[Guest guest]

>

> My ds is 8 and in 2nd grade. His diagnosis is Asperger's, but I'm starting to

wonder if there is another undiagnosed issue we haven't found?

>

> While he was only recently diagnosed, he's had episodes where he would

suddenly explode.

I have heard these called outbursts. Yes, they are very much a part of

Asperger, as far as I can see.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, e.g. teaching him to go to

his safe place and get himself together in privacy LOL. That is how it worked

for my son. He is 14 now and he still has outbursts sometimes, but he can get

himself together fairly quickly. Still nerve-wracking and disruptive, but only

for a very short while, so it is manageable. I kinda think that by the time he

is an adult, he'll be okay.

I used to lead my son to his safe place if he didn't go himself when he was your

son's age and require him to stay there, by himself, talking to no-one, until he

had calmed himself down. It usually took about 15 minutes, although sometimes I

had to repeat the process a couple of times if he was really on edge. I learned

this technique of time-out from a book called " Setting Boundaries With Your

Strong-Willed Child " . It sounds mean, but it really helped him learn to

self-calm himself by himself. What the authors stressed that was different from

other time-outs was not talking to the child at all while you lead them to the

safe place and making sure they are isolated with a closed door and make sure

nobody talks to them. It is important that there is nothing to distract the

child from dealing with their emotions. Then, when they come out, you let them

know you are happy to see them ready to join the family, but don't overdo it and

mainly just act normal and move on.

I noticed my son's teachers were either doing similar things with him or not

making a big deal out of it if he removed himself from the classroom himself for

stretches of time. When he wasn't with teachers who would put him outside in

the hallway when he got too stressed, he would claim he didn't feel good and go

up and visit with all the ladies in the front office for awhile by the nurse's

office. They liked him, and would chat with him and be very nice to him. The

principal's office was right there; I'm surprised she put up with it, but she

did. Sometimes, he would get a restroom pass and stay there a really long time.

It might have been better if he'd had an IEP and this had been better planned

and monitored, but it worked out.

Anyway, other than interventions like this, unfortunately, you may just kind of

have to wait it out, both at the time and for the long run. But it will get

better.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

This is totally like my son. He can go from calm to explosive in seconds. In

my perspective I see this as a fight/flight reaction. When he is fearful or

frustrated or anxious or hurt he goes into fight mode. Some kids will cry or

retreat into themselves but s will lash out at anyone or anything. When

he was little if he would trip and fall he would start screaming and hitting the

floor for causing him to fall and hurt himself.

Since I believe that this is a reaction to stress,frustration, anxiety or fear I

have chosen to use calming techniques when he reacts like this. The same way

that I would cuddle with my 4 year old if she was crying. While it is not quite

that easy because he is angry it has been for me the best way to get him to calm

down. What doesn't work for my son at that point is to try to reason with him

about whatever set him off. When he is in that state he cannot discuss anything

rationally.

Vickie

>

> My ds is 8 and in 2nd grade. His diagnosis is Asperger's, but I'm starting to

wonder if there is another undiagnosed issue we haven't found?

>

> While he was only recently diagnosed, he's had episodes where he would

suddenly explode. I thought it was just that he was a planning type and needed

more notice of any transition. We chalked it up to that and we adapted ways to

help him w/ transitions. He started getting upset with many other issues in his

life and I found the book, " The Explosive Child " by Ross Green and it's been

very helpful. I thought we had a willful child. He is my 2nd--there's a big age

gap between the two.

>

> The issues now are that he explodes whenever he gets dissapointed or he

doesn't get something he wants. For example: On the way home from school we

started talking about items we would sell at our garage sale. He asked when we

would have it. I told him I'm still getting items together but I thought it

would be next Sat. or Sun. **KABOOM** He screamed, why not today??? He ran off,

threw his backpack and kicked his shoes off outside and continued to scream for

maybe 5 to 7 minutes.

>

> Today: We bought a new coffee machine (we still have and use the old one) and

put it in the house. It was all wrapped up. He wanted to open it NOW. (We have

no kitchen and no electrical outlets, so there is nothing operating in that room

yet.) I told him when the electrician comes to install the outlets we can use

it. **KABOOM** HIgh pitched shreiking and screaming I want to do it NOW.

>

> He refused to go to his safe place inspite of a conversation he and I had

yesterday about how to handle these situations that just happened. He finally,

today for the first time, went up to his safe place. (yes, this semi-thrills me,

but I can't get all happy about a one-time thing yet.)

>

> Does this behavior fall into his sensory processing issues? He has some

seemingly minor sensory issues with touch and sound, but how does this specific

behavior fall into this category--if at all?

>

> Does this seem Asperger's related or do you think of something else from what

I've described?

>

> Thanks for reading ?)

>