Re: Fellow member of the husband-doesn't-get-it-club

[Guest guest]

>

> I have pointed out the behaviors, he experiences the frustration with her -

trying to 'teach' her something or seeing her socially flub up again and again

despite explaining the issue - and although a neurologist gave a clinical dx of

asperger's and OCD traits, he still thinks this is something she will mature out

of eventually.

It might really help if he goes to the meeting where you discuss the dx findings

and recommendations and discusses all this stuff with the neurologist himself

along with you.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

I agree, I feel like I am doing this alone. And that my husband is in denial or that our AS son will grow out of this. And to make matters worse my mother in law, thinks he is just fine and that I am the crazy one. He acts just like a boy. While I see AS things in my husband so it does make since but is not helpful at all.

All I can say is hang in there things do change and he will come around slowly.

Becky G

From: andie <andie6294@...>Subject: ( ) Fellow member of the husband-doesn't-get-it-club Date: Monday, April 20, 2009, 9:30 PM

It all sounds so familiar. This is causing a HUGE rift in our marriage too. He believes I am reaching with every bit of information I come up with. I have pointed out the behaviors, he experiences the frustration with her - trying to 'teach' her something or seeing her socially flub up again and again despite explaining the issue - and although a neurologist gave a clinical dx of asperger's and OCD traits, he still thinks this is something she will mature out of eventually.I feel like I'm doing this all alone. Probably because I am! In fact, it may be easier to do it alone. At least then I wouldn't have the resistance to deal with on top of chasing my tail trying to figure out how to be a decent mom to this child.> >> > Hi My name is Zapalac and I am new to the group. My son is 13> > and was just diagnosed with AS and everything else that comes along> > with it. I really need someone to talk to that knows what to do and> > how to handle it. My husband doesn't understand or should I say it> > doesn't want to. He thinks that my son is just being like this to> > irritate him. He thinks after one therapy session he should know> > better. They are just going at with each other in front of our other 2> > children and I had to remove my son and I from the situation so there> > would not be any more problems. But like most AS children they are out> > of there comfort zone so they don't know how to act. I don't know how to get

my husband to> > understand. We have only gone to one session but I fell like it is not> > fair for the other 2 children (4 and 2) for there time to be ruined. > > I feel helpless. Can you help me please.> > Thank you,> > > >>

[Guest guest]

Thank ya'll so much for your response. It help to know that I'm not the only

one with a hard headed husband.

My son doesn't like to go anywhere and I let him stay home by himself(he is 13)

and my husband doesn't like it, but that is where he doesn't get it. Do you

think I am hurting my son? It is so hard to take him out because as you all

know they are out of there comfort zone and the battle is on. Trying to get my

dh to understand is like talking to a wall. I know my son need to socialize but

I feel like I should let him get more help before pushing him. Most of the

family outtings I make him go but if we go to his brothers game he will stay

home because I can't watch the game when he is with me.

Thank you again for your help.

> > >

> > > Hi My name is Zapalac and I am new to the group. My son is 13

> > > and was just diagnosed with AS and everything else that comes along

> > > with it. I really need someone to talk to that knows what to do and

> > > how to handle it. My husband doesn't understand or should I say it

> > > doesn't want to. He thinks that my son is just being like this to

> > > irritate him. He thinks after one therapy session he should know

> > > better. They are just going at with each other in front of our other 2

> > > children and I had to remove my son and I from the situation so there

> > > would not be any more problems. But like most AS children they are out

> > > of there comfort zone so they don't know how to act. I don't know how to

get my husband to

> > > understand. We have only gone to one session but I fell like it is not

> > > fair for the other 2 children (4 and 2) for there time to be ruined.

> > > I feel helpless. Can you help me please.

> > > Thank you,

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

You do what you have to do...your son is unique. Don't listen to everyone else...you know him best. And, besides, who would want to go to his brother's game and just sit there and be bored...it is good that you can leave him home. He is showing he is responsible in staying home. I am not AS but I would not want to go and just sit and watch a game and be bored...i would rather be home crafting, reading, emailing, watching a movie, etc.

Yes, it would be nice if our kids could get out more and go with us every where...but sometimes they just can't. It is okay. We are all Unique onto ourselves. And, if you do get him out....baby steps...remember baby steps. Maybe he could work up to it. If he can't ...he can't and that is that...

Just enjoy him for who he is...and besides if he stays home...you don't have to listen to all the other parents comment on him or try to give you advice when they don't have any idea at all.

I just had 2 friends try to help...yes they tried...they told me...all parents have trouble with their teenagers...they are going thru the SAME thing. Ha! I beg your pardon...I don't think so....but I let them ramble on...the kids may share some of the same teen problems but I truly beleive our kids have a more difficult time as we as parents do. But, i could talk till I am blue in the face and they still won't "get" it. I guess you gotta "live it" to "know it".

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: klmckimmy <klmckimmy@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Fellow member of the husband-doesn't-get-it-club Date: Tuesday, April 21, 2009, 9:38 AM

Thank ya'll so much for your response. It help to know that I'm not the only one with a hard headed husband. My son doesn't like to go anywhere and I let him stay home by himself(he is 13) and my husband doesn't like it, but that is where he doesn't get it. Do you think I am hurting my son? It is so hard to take him out because as you all know they are out of there comfort zone and the battle is on. Trying to get my dh to understand is like talking to a wall. I know my son need to socialize but I feel like I should let him get more help before pushing him. Most of the family outtings I make him go but if we go to his brothers game he will stay home because I can't watch the game when he is with me. Thank you again for your help.> > >> > > Hi My name is Zapalac and

I am new to the group. My son is 13> > > and was just diagnosed with AS and everything else that comes along> > > with it. I really need someone to talk to that knows what to do and> > > how to handle it. My husband doesn't understand or should I say it> > > doesn't want to. He thinks that my son is just being like this to> > > irritate him. He thinks after one therapy session he should know> > > better. They are just going at with each other in front of our other 2> > > children and I had to remove my son and I from the situation so there> > > would not be any more problems. But like most AS children they are out> > > of there comfort zone so they don't know how to act. I don't know how to get my husband to> > > understand. We have only gone to one session but I fell like it is not> > > fair for the other 2

children (4 and 2) for there time to be ruined. > > > I feel helpless. Can you help me please.> > > Thank you,> > > > > >> >>

[Guest guest]

If it's a comfort to anyone, my husband was in major denial at first,

shouting at the Early Intervention people that " there's nothing wrong

with him! " But he did come to accept the diagnosis and participate in

our son's treatment, although he is still very resistant to anything

alternative.

Willa