Guest guest Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into "that" group. The coach is a minister with a "perfect" child and greatly dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Lori ...is your son classified? Have an IEP? Do you have a counselor/therapist you see? Are his grades not so good because he doesn't do HW? Does he do well on tests? There are so many different accomodations you could aask for .. he could have a study time at school with special ed help, no homework or a modified HW. Have you had him evaluated by a neuropschy? Pam > > My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into " that " group. The coach is a minister with a " perfect " child and greatly > dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting. > Lori > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Lori, You need to go in to the school immediately....something must be done....why can't the teachers ask for his homework....why do they give it ....putting him in detention every day is not working. They need to do an FBA and find out what is going on....have you asked your son....does he forget to hand it in? Does he do the homework? Does he feel it is stupid to do homework? Why can't his teachers just ask him for it? Ugh! I hate stupidity! And, it is getting out of hand....the school is doing nothing to accommodate your son and are making things worse for him. Don't they realize that giving him detentions solves nothing!!!! Ugh! Call for an FBA asap ... Jan Janice Rushen "I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope" From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: so aggravated Date: Friday, May 22, 2009, 7:20 PM Lori ...is your son classified? Have an IEP? Do you have a counselor/therapist you see? Are his grades not so good because he doesn't do HW?Does he do well on tests? There are so many different accomodations you could aask for ..he could have a study time at school with special ed help,no homework or a modified HW. Have you had him evaluated by a neuropschy?Pam >> My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into "that" group. The coach is a minister with a "perfect" child and greatly> dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting.> Lori> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Lori, Jan is completely right. For the students who can't remember (and this is most of our kids), special accomadations have to be made so that they are asked specifically to turn things in, and to take what they need to do homework with home with them. All this takes from the teacher is a sentence of actually looking at your son. If the school objects because they just don't have the time or it's not fair to the other kids, tell them this story that my cousin told me about. It was from a video on Autism. The presenter knew that one of his students needed something specifically (for this student it was notes taken for her)-for yours it is the simple action of asking for homework and reminding to take his things home to do homework. Anyway, the teacher thought it was too hard for her, and if she did it just for this student it would not be fair for all the other students. Well, the presenter told her: " Let's pretend that there is a student in my class that is having a heart atack. Well, I know CPR, and I could help her, but I tell her that I just don't have the time, and if I gave her CPR and not everyone else CPR, it just wouldn't be fair. Sorry " Well, I guess this really put a different spin on it for the teacher. The presenter told her that fair means everyone gets what they need, not that everyone gets the same thing. I don't know about you, but when I told several people this story, it really impacted the way they thought right away. Remember that what you're asking is not hard, and even if it was hard, it is still necessary for his education. It should definitely be in his plan. Good luck in dealing with everyone. ah > > > > My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into " that " group. The coach is a minister with a " perfect " child and greatly > > dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting. > > Lori > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 may i say wow, that story should put it into a whole other perspective, and i have one aspie child but others in home that are typical and one child that we arent sure if dx is appropiate but we are always getting it is not fair so now maybe this will help guide us because with all the children running around we try to make everyone feel they are treated fairly we think they are but some require different things, 4 boys 1 girl so you see they dont always get the same thing, but when needs come we provide. thank you you helped me and i didnt even need to ask that is way cool. sherryFrom: maryahmaki <maryahmaki@...> Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:04:57 PMSubject: ( ) Re: so aggravated Lori, Jan is completely right. For the students who can't remember (and this is most of our kids), special accomadations have to be made so that they are asked specifically to turn things in, and to take what they need to do homework with home with them. All this takes from the teacher is a sentence of actually looking at your son. If the school objects because they just don't have the time or it's not fair to the other kids, tell them this story that my cousin told me about. It was from a video on Autism. The presenter knew that one of his students needed something specifically (for this student it was notes taken for her)-for yours it is the simple action of asking for homework and reminding to take his things home to do homework. Anyway, the teacher thought it was too hard for her, and if she did it just for this student it would not be fair for all the other students. Well, the presenter told her: "Let's pretend that there is a student in my class that is having a heart atack. Well, I know CPR, and I could help her, but I tell her that I just don't have the time, and if I gave her CPR and not everyone else CPR, it just wouldn't be fair. Sorry" Well, I guess this really put a different spin on it for the teacher. The presenter told her that fair means everyone gets what they need, not that everyone gets the same thing. I don't know about you, but when I told several people this story, it really impacted the way they thought right away. Remember that what you're asking is not hard, and even if it was hard, it is still necessary for his education. It should definitely be in his plan. Good luck in dealing with everyone. ah > > > > My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into "that" group. The coach is a minister with a "perfect" child and greatly > > dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting. > > Lori > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Thanks everyone for your responses and suggestions. I will talk once again to the school and see what can be done. There are resources at the school that he could take advantage of like after school tutoring and a very wonderful teacher that will stay after with him if he so chooses. The problem is ODD. He is very defiant and manipulating. People say ground him, take away his vehicle. Well that sounds really good and I have tried it but he has to get to work somehow. He is the king of turning words around to fit his needs. I know part of his problem started when I got custody of my 10 yr old nephew who is AS and my 6 yr old niece, about 5 yrs ago. He gave me a poem for mother's day that said that he doesn't want to share his mama. We try to spend time with him but his father works many hours trying to keep our construction business afloat and I do my best to deal with everything else. Lori From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: so aggravated Date: Saturday, May 23, 2009, 8:08 AM may i say wow, that story should put it into a whole other perspective, and i have one aspie child but others in home that are typical and one child that we arent sure if dx is appropiate but we are always getting it is not fair so now maybe this will help guide us because with all the children running around we try to make everyone feel they are treated fairly we think they are but some require different things, 4 boys 1 girl so you see they dont always get the same thing, but when needs come we provide. thank you you helped me and i didnt even need to ask that is way cool. sherry From: maryahmaki <maryahmaki@...> Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:04:57 PMSubject: ( ) Re: so aggravated Lori,Jan is completely right. For the students who can't remember (and this is most of our kids), special accomadations have to be made so that they are asked specifically to turn things in, and to take what they need to do homework with home with them. All this takes from the teacher is a sentence of actually looking at your son. If the school objects because they just don't have the time or it's not fair to the other kids, tell them this story that my cousin told me about. It was from a video on Autism.The presenter knew that one of his students needed something specifically (for this student it was notes taken for her)-for yours it is the simple action of asking for homework and reminding to take his things home to do homework. Anyway, the teacher thought it was too hard for her, and if she did it just for this student it would not be fair for all the other students. Well, the presenter told her: "Let's pretend that there is a student in my class that is having a heart atack. Well, I know CPR, and I could help her, but I tell her that I just don't have the time, and if I gave her CPR and not everyone else CPR, it just wouldn't be fair. Sorry" Well, I guess this really put a different spin on it for the teacher. The presenter told her that fair means everyone gets what they need, not that everyone gets the same thing.I don't know about you, but when I told several people this story, it really impacted the way they thought right away. Remember that what you're asking is not hard, and even if it was hard, it is still necessary for his education. It should definitely be in his plan. Good luck in dealing with everyone.ah> >> > My 16 yr old son who has ODD has much difficulty turning in his homework. We have tried many different things and all have failed. He usually ends up serving detentions for homework not turned in which is almost a good thing because he gets the one on one attention he needs. Needless to say, his grades are not so hot so he is not allowed to play any sports or be in any organizations. I know this is a state law, but I fear it has put him in with a different group of kids. The I don't care group. He does get to play summer ball (because grades are not a issue) and he looks forward to it every year. This morning he had to serve a detention even though school is out and he missed ball practice. The coach said he wasn't sure that he would get to play the next game. So...he is talking about quitting. I feel like all confidence has been depleted and he is being sent further into "that" group. The coach is a minister with a "perfect" child and greatly> > dissaproves of my child. Excuse my rambling...just venting.> > Lori> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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