Frustrated, deflated, and dealing with those who Already have all the answers...

[Guest guest]

Had my meeting with the school yesterday. I am completely

frustrated and I failed yesterday at trying not to cry in front of the kids

(glad I held it together in front of the teachers/principal DURING the meeting).

The meeting didn’t go at all the way I’d hoped. I

started the meeting off by saying that I wanted this to be a positive meeting,

that it wasn’t about me against them, or them against me. That this had

to be child focused. That was responded to with a story about asking the kids

what their primary job was, that it was not to teach them, that it was actually

to “keep them safe”. That set the tone for the rest of the meeting,

where it was clear they were focused on “my children’s behavior”

and “keeping the other children safe”. Sigh.

The rest of the meeting, I felt like every time I’d say

something, they’d come back at me with a reason why what I was saying was

irrelevant, and they needed to “Focus on the behaviors.” I told

them I didn’t want them to IGNORE the behaviors, but rather I wanted them

to understand and acknowledge that the YEARS of dealing with my kids, different

schools, different psychologists, psychiatrists, specialists of all

kinds… that I had learned a thing or two, and could provide them with

some ideas to save them from the headache of trying strategies that just

aren’t going to work. I told them I wasn’t needing to be focused on

a “label” or “DX” per say… but that my

children are two very bright little boys who clearly need some help… now.

And while we can’t change anything on paper without an official

diagnosis, certain strategies applicable to one “behavioral

condition” (as they called it) aren’t going to work with

Aspergers… and THAT is why we have to focus on trying different

strategies.

I requested speech language assessment for my youngest. I

requested that he be placed under a “developmental delay” “label”,

I guess you could call it, so that we could start an IEP for him. I requested

FBA for both children. We will see what comes of all of that.

I don’t have my hopes up.

We’ve already dealt with teachers who wanted to write my

eldest off. Who figured that he had “ODD” and therefore, was just a

defiant brat, who needed to be “Taught a lesson”. And THEN, after

all their efforts didn’t work, he was written off as the child who “didn’t

learn from his mistakes”. HA! When are they going to get a clue?

I am seriously considering pulling them both and homeschooling

until we get a diagnosis. I emailed our premier for the province, I emailed our

local MHA in my riding to complain about wait times… because WITHOUT that

diagnosis, families are expected to just suffer.

And mine is. My relationship with my husband has paid the

ultimate price… and if we can’t get things turned around quickly, I

am scared for where we’ll end up

When did teaching become so negative and self-righteous? When

did it stop being about empowering these children through positive affirmation and

approaches?

Sigh.

=)