Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 People with Aspergers take and think literaly, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with aspergers really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. Ah sweet therapy! I've been in therapy now for over five years.(Earlier for childhood stuff.) We have been through three marriage counsellors. My man says he cannot get them to understand his side, in retrospect, this is true. This past therapist is the one that suggested he may has Asperger's. Him being avoidant and non-responsive, and Language was always an issue... just today I was upstairs and asked him to send his youngest nephew upstairs to me for a nap, and also to print out some copies of a home flyer for our empty flyer box out front of the house (we are selling our home). He said to me in a very impatient tone, "Well right now?! I can't do both right now!" I always say "whoa, whoa" to calm it down, as I get lost in what he is even proposing I am suggesting or thinking. I said to him, "you seem upset and I don't understand what you mean..." Sure enough he somehow thought he was to do both simultaneously (based on what I said). "How is that even possible!!!" I asked. He yelled back to me, "Exactly! What you are asking me is impossible!" We have about 10 of these a day, highly frustrating. Well, we managed to clear it up, he sent the nephew upstairs, I read a book to him while we both napped for over an hour. I came downstairs and my husband proudly says, "I printed out the home flyers!" There they sat on the table by the door. Not in the empty box out front. Mind you probably no one drove by and needed a flyer but you get the picture. Again, very frustrating. The worst part is that he gets very defensive very quickly. His own father is a really critical parent so perhaps that is it, he has worked on his defensiveness a lot in therapy, which in short has not helped.My guy has been in therapy for about 3 years now, he says it does not work and he never gets help from it. Before the asperger's suggestion, I was seeing our marriage counsellor alone to get advice on leaving the marriage as my guy said he did not intend to continue with therapy, which I had deemed my only hope. I am still on medical disability, so I'm not in a hurry to leave the marriage financially but just not so sure what to do next. I love him but it has been very bad, lonely and just oddly cruel at times. I know now much of this is aspergers but it doesn't change that he reacts and treats me a certain way. I just don't know what to do.Thank you everyone for replying and being here for me! You are ALL so great!Adrienne> >> > I have found out my husband most likely has Asperger's. He is > > undergoing diagnosis now. At first it was a relief but the > treatment > > options concern me. He's not one for therapy.> > > > Our marriage and relationship from day one has been so confusing to > > me. I often think of him as the "nicest jerk I know". I feel lonely > > and hurt, counselling did not help.> > > > He seems so aloof with affection. He is brilliant in science and > all > > things related to computing (makes a very good living at it too), > he > > is highly recognized for these achievements. I enjoy the monetary > > aspects of our life but miss love and passion.> > > > I was only his 3rd love interest at age 28. When we made love the > > first time it felt awkward. I sort of "got used to it" but the > truth > > is, it is weird/awkward. He cannot seem to hold his body like other > > lovers have. He shakes when he does a precise movement, and in > > general he is shaky.> > > > He has weird or odd things he does. He drinks with a straw from his > > glass at the top or rim of the glass, because the water is "colder" > > there. > > > > If he asks me what I want to drink for dinner, I will say, "I think > I > > will have a glass of water." Only he never gets me the water > because > > I was only "thinking" about it. > > > > I could go on and on. It's been exhausting. > > > > The worst partis awkward affection, never inititating sex and he > > never seems to relate to how I feel.> > > > Is there any hope? He is 31 now. I feel so discouraged. Moving > > forward for us has been near impossible. When we talk about issues > he > > just fiddles with things. He is much like a child.> > > > A.> >> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 ITU, MY SON CAN'T EVEN TELL WHEN SOMEONE IS JOKING HE TAKES LIFE SO SERIOUS, I FIND MYSELF TELLING PEOPLE LOOK MY SON DOESN'T UNDERSTAND U ARE JOKING, WE HAD ADULT FRIENDS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS THAT THEY WOULD TELL MY SON TO DO SOMETHING AS A JOKE AND HE WOULD GO TO DO IT, I'D HAVE TO STOP HIM AND TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHY HE WASN'T REALLY SUPPOSED TO DO IT THAT IT WAS ONLY A JOKE, THEN WE RAN INTO THE PROBLEM THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY ALL THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS WOULD MAKE ME VISIBLE FURIOUS AND NOW THESE PEOPLE DON'T COME AROUND ANYMORE. I TOLD MY PARTNER THAT I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY ABOUT THE SITUATION AND THAT I'D RATHER NOT BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEEM TO EVEN WANT TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND A CHILD WITH AS OR THE PARENTS WHO HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME ON THIER OWN WITHOUT SOMEONE ADDING TO IT FOR LAUGHS. MY JOSH CAN ONLY TAKE ONE INSTRUCTION AT A TIME, IF WE TRY TO GIVE HIM TOO MUCH AT ONCE HE GETS IT ALL MIXED UP AND THEN WE HAVE A BIG MESS.AND AS I SAID BEFORE U REALLY HAVE TO WATCH WHAT U SAY AROUND HIM BECAUSE HE THINKS SO STRAIGHT FORWARD ALL THE TIME AND SPEAKS THIS WAY TOO, AND WILL RESPOND ULTIMATELY WELL MOM, U KNOW IT IS THE TRUTH, I'M JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. SHERRYPatti Journey <pjpoo78363@...> wrote: People with Aspergers take and think literaly, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with aspergers really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. Ah sweet therapy! I've been in therapy now for over five years.(Earlier for childhood stuff.) We have been through three marriage counsellors. My man says he cannot get them to understand his side, in retrospect, this is true. This past therapist is the one that suggested he may has Asperger's. Him being avoidant and non-responsive, and Language was always an issue... just today I was upstairs and asked him to send his youngest nephew upstairs to me for a nap, and also to print out some copies of a home flyer for our empty flyer box out front of the house (we are selling our home). He said to me in a very impatient tone, "Well right now?! I can't do both right now!" I always say "whoa, whoa" to calm it down, as I get lost in what he is even proposing I am suggesting or thinking. I said to him, "you seem upset and I don't understand what you mean..." Sure enough he somehow thought he was to do both simultaneously (based on what I said). "How is that even possible!!!" I asked. He yelled back to me, "Exactly! What you are asking me is impossible!" We have about 10 of these a day, highly frustrating. Well, we managed to clear it up, he sent the nephew upstairs, I read a book to him while we both napped for over an hour. I came downstairs and my husband proudly says, "I printed out the home flyers!" There they sat on the table by the door. Not in the empty box out front. Mind you probably no one drove by and needed a flyer but you get the picture. Again, very frustrating. The worst part is that he gets very defensive very quickly. His own father is a really critical parent so perhaps that is it, he has worked on his defensiveness a lot in therapy, which in short has not helped.My guy has been in therapy for about 3 years now, he says it does not work and he never gets help from it. Before the asperger's suggestion, I was seeing our marriage counsellor alone to get advice on leaving the marriage as my guy said he did not intend to continue with therapy, which I had deemed my only hope. I am still on medical disability, so I'm not in a hurry to leave the marriage financially but just not so sure what to do next. I love him but it has been very bad, lonely and just oddly cruel at times. I know now much of this is aspergers but it doesn't change that he reacts and treats me a certain way. I just don't know what to do.Thank you everyone for replying and being here for me! You are ALL so great!Adrienne> >> > I have found out my husband most likely has Asperger's. He is > > undergoing diagnosis now. At first it was a relief but the > treatment > > options concern me. He's not one for therapy.> > > > Our marriage and relationship from day one has been so confusing to > > me. I often think of him as the "nicest jerk I know". I feel lonely > > and hurt, counselling did not help.> > > > He seems so aloof with affection. He is brilliant in science and > all > > things related to computing (makes a very good living at it too), > he > > is highly recognized for these achievements. I enjoy the monetary > > aspects of our life but miss love and passion.> > > > I was only his 3rd love interest at age 28. When we made love the > > first time it felt awkward. I sort of "got used to it" but the > truth > > is, it is weird/awkward. He cannot seem to hold his body like other > > lovers have. He shakes when he does a precise movement, and in > > general he is shaky.> > > > He has weird or odd things he does. He drinks with a straw from his > > glass at the top or rim of the glass, because the water is "colder" > > there. > > > > If he asks me what I want to drink for dinner, I will say, "I think > I > > will have a glass of water." Only he never gets me the water > because > > I was only "thinking" about it. > > > > I could go on and on. It's been exhausting. > > > > The worst partis awkward affection, never inititating sex and he > > never seems to relate to how I feel.> > > > Is there any hope? He is 31 now. I feel so discouraged. Moving > > forward for us has been near impossible. When we talk about issues > he > > just fiddles with things. He is much like a child.> > > > A.> >> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Patti, It is very much like a person with amnesia. The thing is, it's been six years together, we've gone over this time and time again, shouldn't he " know " by now? At what point do I need to stop explaining every detail of life so he can remain in la-la land. I need him to be responsible for himself, he's 31-years old. He knows I don't mean things literally and exact by now... he's just not being responsible (and argumentative). For example, I have a very creative mind, so creative it got excellent at scaring me and I would believe every thought and have sleeplessness and anxiety. Then I got some help and was told that " it's not my first thought that matters but the second one " . It took some time, but I disciplined my thinking and overcame thought related obstacles. I had not not trust or believe that first thought and decide what I would think and how to respond. If I can do it, he can, he's extremely intelligent beyond anything or anyone I have ever met. Adriene > > People with Asperger's take and think laterally, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with asperger's really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain > why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Sherry, good for you for standing up for your son!!! there are some people, I don't know why, but they need to put some one else down, just to make themselves feel good. I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm wondering what their kids are like? sending you a hug Rose sherry burford <superchick0770@...> wrote: ITU, MY SON CAN'T EVEN TELL WHEN SOMEONE IS JOKING HE TAKES LIFE SO SERIOUS, I FIND MYSELF TELLING PEOPLE LOOK MY SON DOESN'T UNDERSTAND U ARE JOKING, WE HAD ADULT FRIENDS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS THAT THEY WOULD TELL MY SON TO DO SOMETHING AS A JOKE AND HE WOULD GO TO DO IT, I'D HAVE TO STOP HIM AND TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHY HE WASN'T REALLY SUPPOSED TO DO IT THAT IT WAS ONLY A JOKE, THEN WE RAN INTO THE PROBLEM THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY ALL THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS WOULD MAKE ME VISIBLE FURIOUS AND NOW THESE PEOPLE DON'T COME AROUND ANYMORE. I TOLD MY PARTNER THAT I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY ABOUT THE SITUATION AND THAT I'D RATHER NOT BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEEM TO EVEN WANT TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND A CHILD WITH AS OR THE PARENTS WHO HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME ON THIER OWN WITHOUT SOMEONE ADDING TO IT FOR LAUGHS. MY JOSH CAN ONLY TAKE ONE INSTRUCTION AT A TIME, IF WE TRY TO GIVE HIM TOO MUCH AT ONCE HE GETS IT ALL MIXED UP AND THEN WE HAVE A BIG MESS.AND AS I SAID BEFORE U REALLY HAVE TO WATCH WHAT U SAY AROUND HIM BECAUSE HE THINKS SO STRAIGHT FORWARD ALL THE TIME AND SPEAKS THIS WAY TOO, AND WILL RESPOND ULTIMATELY WELL MOM, U KNOW IT IS THE TRUTH, I'M JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. SHERRYPatti Journey <pjpoo78363 > wrote: People with Aspergers take and think literaly, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with aspergers really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. Ah sweet therapy! I've been in therapy now for over five years.(Earlier for childhood stuff.) We have been through three marriage counsellors. My man says he cannot get them to understand his side, in retrospect, this is true. This past therapist is the one that suggested he may has Asperger's. Him being avoidant and non-responsive, and Language was always an issue... just today I was upstairs and asked him to send his youngest nephew upstairs to me for a nap, and also to print out some copies of a home flyer for our empty flyer box out front of the house (we are selling our home). He said to me in a very impatient tone, "Well right now?! I can't do both right now!" I always say "whoa, whoa" to calm it down, as I get lost in what he is even proposing I am suggesting or thinking. I said to him, "you seem upset and I don't understand what you mean..." Sure enough he somehow thought he was to do both simultaneously (based on what I said). "How is that even possible!!!" I asked. He yelled back to me, "Exactly! What you are asking me is impossible!" We have about 10 of these a day, highly frustrating. Well, we managed to clear it up, he sent the nephew upstairs, I read a book to him while we both napped for over an hour. I came downstairs and my husband proudly says, "I printed out the home flyers!" There they sat on the table by the door. Not in the empty box out front. Mind you probably no one drove by and needed a flyer but you get the picture. Again, very frustrating. The worst part is that he gets very defensive very quickly. His own father is a really critical parent so perhaps that is it, he has worked on his defensiveness a lot in therapy, which in short has not helped.My guy has been in therapy for about 3 years now, he says it does not work and he never gets help from it. Before the asperger's suggestion, I was seeing our marriage counsellor alone to get advice on leaving the marriage as my guy said he did not intend to continue with therapy, which I had deemed my only hope. I am still on medical disability, so I'm not in a hurry to leave the marriage financially but just not so sure what to do next. I love him but it has been very bad, lonely and just oddly cruel at times. I know now much of this is aspergers but it doesn't change that he reacts and treats me a certain way. I just don't know what to do.Thank you everyone for replying and being here for me! You are ALL so great!Adrienne> >> > I have found out my husband most likely has Asperger's. He is > > undergoing diagnosis now. At first it was a relief but the > treatment > > options concern me. He's not one for therapy.> > > > Our marriage and relationship from day one has been so confusing to > > me. I often think of him as the "nicest jerk I know". I feel lonely > > and hurt, counselling did not help.> > > > He seems so aloof with affection. He is brilliant in science and > all > > things related to computing (makes a very good living at it too), > he > > is highly recognized for these achievements. I enjoy the monetary > > aspects of our life but miss love and passion.> > > > I was only his 3rd love interest at age 28. When we made love the > > first time it felt awkward. I sort of "got used to it" but the > truth > > is, it is weird/awkward. He cannot seem to hold his body like other > > lovers have. He shakes when he does a precise movement, and in > > general he is shaky.> > > > He has weird or odd things he does. He drinks with a straw from his > > glass at the top or rim of the glass, because the water is "colder" > > there. > > > > If he asks me what I want to drink for dinner, I will say, "I think > I > > will have a glass of water." Only he never gets me the water > because > > I was only "thinking" about it. > > > > I could go on and on. It's been exhausting. > > > > The worst partis awkward affection, never inititating sex and he > > never seems to relate to how I feel.> > > > Is there any hope? He is 31 now. I feel so discouraged. Moving > > forward for us has been near impossible. When we talk about issues > he > > just fiddles with things. He is much like a child.> > > > A.> >> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Adriene His brain is wired differently , he CANNOT ......unless you can accept this, you will be beating your head and his head against a brick wall forever. hugs Wags! Wags! Wags! Lowry "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." Author Ben From: adriene@...Date: Sun, 3 Feb 2008 23:56:31 +0000Subject: Re: ( ) Therapy and multi-tasking: My marriage Patti,It is very much like a person with amnesia. The thing is, it's been six years together, we've gone over this time and time again, shouldn't he "know" by now? At what point do I need to stop explaining every detail of life so he can remain in la-la land. I need him to be responsible for himself, he's 31-years old. He knows I don't mean things literally and exact by now... he's just not being responsible (and argumentative).For example, I have a very creative mind, so creative it got excellent at scaring me and I would believe every thought and have sleeplessness and anxiety. Then I got some help and was told that "it's not my first thought that matters but the second one". It took some time, but I disciplined my thinking and overcame thought related obstacles. I had not not trust or believe that first thought and decide what I would think and how to respond.If I can do it, he can, he's extremely intelligent beyond anything or anyone I have ever met.Adriene>> People with Asperger's take and think laterally, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with asperger's really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain> why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Exactly. Betty Lowry <flyballmom@...> wrote: Adriene His brain is wired differently , he CANNOT ......unless you can accept this, you will be beating your head and his head against a brick wall forever. hugs Wags! Wags! Wags! Lowry "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." Author Ben From: adrienetriad (DOT) rr.comDate: Sun, 3 Feb 2008 23:56:31 +0000Subject: Re: ( ) Therapy and multi-tasking: My marriage Patti,It is very much like a person with amnesia. The thing is, it's been six years together, we've gone over this time and time again, shouldn't he "know" by now? At what point do I need to stop explaining every detail of life so he can remain in la-la land. I need him to be responsible for himself, he's 31-years old. He knows I don't mean things literally and exact by now... he's just not being responsible (and argumentative).For example, I have a very creative mind, so creative it got excellent at scaring me and I would believe every thought and have sleeplessness and anxiety. Then I got some help and was told that "it's not my first thought that matters but the second one". It took some time, but I disciplined my thinking and overcame thought related obstacles. I had not not trust or believe that first thought and decide what I would think and how to respond.If I can do it, he can, he's extremely intelligent beyond anything or anyone I have ever met.Adriene>> People with Asperger's take and think laterally, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with asperger's really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain> why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. > Take care, Betty Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 I wish I knew how to help you, if you are going to counseling make sure it is someone that knows about aspergers. Other wise they may not be able to help you. It's hard being a mother to someone with aspergers, I can only imagine what you are going through. Your right it would seem like your husband would learn what you mean. But unless you have aspergers who knows. Things I think my son should already know and do, I still have to continue to work with him on them. Get your husband to try that Rescue Remedy that someone suggested, it's worth a try. Patti,It is very much like a person with amnesia. The thing is, it's been six years together, we've gone over this time and time again, shouldn't he "know" by now? At what point do I need to stop explaining every detail of life so he can remain in la-la land. I need him to be responsible for himself, he's 31-years old. He knows I don't mean things literally and exact by now... he's just not being responsible (and argumentative) .For example, I have a very creative mind, so creative it got excellent at scaring me and I would believe every thought and have sleeplessness and anxiety. Then I got some help and was told that "it's not my first thought that matters but the second one". It took some time, but I disciplined my thinking and overcame thought related obstacles. I had not not trust or believe that first thought and decide what I would think and how to respond.If I can do it, he can, he's extremely intelligent beyond anything or anyone I have ever met.Adriene>> People with Asperger's take and think laterally, if I ask my son to do more than one thing at a time, he thinks he is supposed to do them at the same time. He gets upset with me and tells me he can't do them at the same time. I just assume that he knows to do them one at a time. So now I try to remember to add, do, whatever, after you do what I first tell you. This helps and he doesn't complain. Men in general don't think like women, and men or boys with asperger's really don't think like we do. It takes more explaining, communication in a way that they understand. We just have to learn it. Sometimes I will ask my son what would make him understand me more, etc. it's a constant, like they are little children, and you can't take it for granted that they understand you all the time. Things that we already know, from learning from people around us, they aren't clued into automatically. My husband and I are trying to remember this and try to explain> why we do this, or why one shouldn't do or behave like that. It is almost like teaching someone that has amnesia. Communication and knowing how to with them is the best thing we can do to help them and us. > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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