Re: I don't want to be cured (my son about 'cure autism now')

September 9, 2008

Hi, My son feels the same way. He loves himself and T.G. he's doing well in school so far and finally got accepted with other kids. (just this past summer). BUT, if there were a cure. I would jump on it so fast. No more doctors appointments, no more social skills groups, training for me to teach him, traveling to all those extra after school tutors, no more fighting/competing for services with school staff (due to their budget) no more working on organization and losing important things - no more frustration !. No more concerns with generalizing rules and not reading the non-verbal cues. understanding things without getting instruction confused because of being so literal. following more things like multi-step instructions instead of taking baby steps. IMO- I don't think a cure would change " who my son is " I'm thinking most people are

afraid of that - with their child's cute personality changing. NO, I think he/she would still be the same person with a lot less stress with coping with life's demands. I believe a cure would take the place of all the interventions he has to go through. Does that make sense? I don't believe it would change the person, just change all the things that we are working on anyway. like all the interventions. **** like Roxanna once posted. I agree with her 100%, I don't give autism any credit for things that he can do so well - I believe that was my son, not the autism. I used to tell my son he is so good in math, history and science because of the autism. (I was wrong) He can memorize that whole lesson - but Roxanna's post was a big wake up call for me. I never told him that again. I now tell him he is very, very smart in these subjects because of his strong interest in them -

not because of autism ...it's because of his strong interest in these subjects that he pays more attention to them and learns so much more.. (the autism is what's holding him back). Getting back to your post: I understand what you were pointing out and I'm so happy to hear/read that your son is loving himself, ''Just as he is''. I believe he feels that way because of YOU. You helped him with everything that he needs help in to progress to get him where he is today. You made him comfortable with himself. You should take that as a big - thank you - from you son... I do know from others that have it different. I'm so glad my son feels the same way. ( hi self esteem and he feels comfortable with himself). But I explained when he's doing well in school and got a good grade in his favorite subjects, it was because he studied and payed attention. Roseluivelez <luivelez@...> wrote: Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a

great day. F

September 9, 2008

Rose,I'd have to agree with you. I think, fundamentally, that WHO our children are is not connected to what disorder they have. For example, as a young adult and adult, I have struggled with severely debilitating depression. It effected all my behaviors, the way I interacted with the whole world, etc. But it wasn't WHO I was, and it wasn't until being medicated appropriately that I was able to BE who I really was. I see ASD as the same thing...who they aren't can't be completely expressed because of the way the disorder effects their ability to process information. Would an ASD child who is really artistic lose that if cured? I don't believe so. Would the hyperlexic 2 year old lose all his love of letters and patterns, or lose the knowledge he's gained? Most likely not. The things they are interested in and good at are more about their personality than their disorder. And, those of us with more than one ASD kiddos knows this quite well...each ASD child has their OWN personality, their own likes/dislikes, and even their own way of coping with their disorder!If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE themselves, and not less so, just as with medication for depression I was able to be more myself, rather than less-so.Mina Mina SmolinskiMommy to: 9/25/02 - NT 5/13/04 - HFAOwen 7/1/05 - HFA with HyperlexiaLila 3/3/07 - NT On Sep 9, 2008, at 7:08 AM, Rose wrote:Hi,My son feels the same way. He loves himself and T.G. he's doing well in school so far and finally got accepted with other kids. (just this past summer).BUT, if there were a cure. I would jump on it so fast. No more doctors appointments, no more social skills groups, training for me to teach him, traveling to all those extra after school tutors, no more fighting/competing for services with school staff (due to their budget) no more working on organization and losing important things - no more frustration !. No more concerns withgeneralizing rules and not reading the non-verbal cues. understanding things without getting instruction confused because of being so literal. following more things like multi-step instructions instead of taking baby steps. IMO- I don't think a cure would change " who my son is " I'm thinking most pe ople are afraid of that - with their child's cute personality changing. NO, I think he/she would still be the same person with a lot less stress with coping with life's demands. I believe a cure would take the place of all the interventions he has to go through. Does that make sense? I don't believe it would change the person, just change all the things that we are working on anyway. like all the interventions. **** like Roxanna once posted. I agree with her 100%, I don't give autism any credit for things that he can do so well - I believe that was my son, not the autism. I used to tell my son he is so good in math, history and science because of the autism. (I was wrong) He can memorize that whole lesson - but Roxanna's post was a big wake up call for me. I never told him that again. I now tell him he is very, very smart in these subjects because of his strong interest in them - not because of autism ...it's because of his strong interest in these subjects that he pays more attention to them and learns so much more.. (the autism is what's holding him back).Getting back to your post: I understand what you were pointing out and I'm so happy to hear/read that your son is loving himself, ''Just as he is''. I believe he feels that way because of YOU. You helped him with everything that he needs help in to progress to get him where he is today. You made him comfortable with himself. You should take that as a big - thank you - from you son...I do know from others that have it different. I'm so glad my son feels the same way. ( hi self esteem and he feels comfortable with himself). But I explained when he's doing well in school and got a good grade in his favorite subjects, it was because he studied and payed attention. Roseluivelez <luivelez > wrote:Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

Rose, good morning,

I just would like to say that I agree 100% with you..

I am the parent of Victor, 09 years old, dx / w/ HFA. For a long time, I was reading the emails of the group and was amazed how similar your daily lifes can be compared to our reality. We are also trying, like you, all the possible therapies to develop Victor's potentials and increase his possibilities to be an independent person in the future. I love my Victor anyway, of course, but I would prefer to see him NOT suffering (from discrimination at the school, people's ignorance, etc, etc) and behaving as a "neurotypical child". I am sure that he would be the very same Victor, but without the "autistic way", even if this "way" can be considered as a kind of gift sometimes.

All the best for the group,

Pedro (and Victor, 09 years old, dx w/ HFA) - Rio de Janeiro - Brazil.

--- Em ter, 9/9/08, Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> escreveu:

De: Rose <beachbodytan2002@...>Assunto: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Para: Data: TerÃ§a-feira, 9 de Setembro de 2008, 11:08

Hi,

My son feels the same way. He loves himself and T.G. he's doing well in school so far and finally got accepted with other kids. (just this past summer).

BUT, if there were a cure. I would jump on it so fast. No more doctors appointments, no more social skills groups, training for me to teach him, traveling to all those extra after school tutors, no more fighting/competing for services with school staff (due to their budget) no more working on organization and losing important things - no more frustration !. No more concerns with generalizing rules and not reading the non-verbal cues. understanding things without getting instruction confused because of being so literal. following more things like multi-step instructions instead of taking baby steps.

IMO- I don't think a cure would change " who my son is " I'm thinking most people are afraid of that - with their child's cute personality changing. NO, I think he/she would still be the same person with a lot less stress with coping with life's demands. I believe a cure would take the place of all the interventions he has to go through. Does that make sense? I don't believe it would change the person, just change all the things that we are working on anyway. like all the interventions. **** like Roxanna once posted. I agree with her 100%, I don't give autism any credit for things that he can do so well - I believe that was my son, not the autism. I used to tell my son he is so good in math, history and science because of the autism. (I was wrong) He can memorize that whole lesson - but Roxanna's post was a big wake up call for me. I never told him

that again. I now tell him he is very, very smart in these subjects because of his strong interest in them - not because of autism ....it's because of his strong interest in these subjects that he pays more attention to them and learns so much more.. (the autism is what's holding him back).

Getting back to your post: I understand what you were pointing out and I'm so happy to hear/read that your son is loving himself, ''Just as he is''. I believe he feels that way because of YOU. You helped him with everything that he needs help in to progress to get him where he is today. You made him comfortable with himself. You should take that as a big - thank you - from you son...

I do know from others that have it different. I'm so glad my son feels the same way. ( hi self esteem and he feels comfortable with himself). But I explained when he's doing well in school and got a good grade in his favorite subjects, it was because he studied and payed attention.

Roseluivelez <luivelez (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

Novos endereÃ§os, o que vocÃª conhece. Crie um email novo com a sua cara @ymail.com ou @rocketmail.com.

September 9, 2008

AMEN!!! Isn't that great??? We are GLAD to hear we are not alone! Our 7 year old solves all our problems around here.

Our five year old, not AS but has all the caretaking and then some characteristics, has some inventions; a couple, my

husband is going to try to patent (we shall see---but it is AMAZING what he comes up with to help his special brothers).

Ruthie

From: luivelez@...Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 02:58:26 +0000Subject: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

Wonderful.

I've said about my son, that despite the struggles and hard times,,,,,,,he is more comfortable with himself than many adults I know.

Love it!!

From: luivelez <luivelez@...>Subject: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 9:58 PM

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

Is that typically for our kiddos??? My seven year old could care a less what YOU think; he thinks and knows

he is fabulous...............which often cracks us up. You can tell him he is ugly, and he will tell you, No, I am not

ugly, in fact, I am cute, handsome, adoreable, depends on his mood but he not only stands up for himself, but

believes he is great, and thus, he just does not HAVE the issues our 14 year old whom was abused has. I was just

wondering if it is typical for these kids to have confidence and be like this??

He is sensitive to other kids not wanting to play or play nice with him, so we are really working on that right now.

On a huge level, he is much too advanced in his play for typical kids, in my opinion. He does come up with some amazing things

for just a mere 7. This weekend, he designed a really cool ladder and made my husband (and he did do it) make it, so he could

safer, more easily, and guaranteed to never get hurt, climb the tree in our front yard. He was the salesman to the max and a complete

and amazing designer. He found SCRAPS my husband could use for it, and it is a great ladder at that.............but, just something else.

Ruthie

From: jrisjs@...Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 07:02:57 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Wonderful.

I've said about my son, that despite the struggles and hard times,,,,,,,he is more comfortable with himself than many adults I know.

Love it!!

From: luivelez <luivelez >Subject: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 9:58 PM

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

I love it. Man, how I wished we could all live near eachother.......oh well...he hee.

I think it is a trait of our kids. An incredible trait. If you are self-centered, in a way,,,,,,,,,,,you maybe see yourself as just fine? I don't know. It's hard to say,,,,cause my son would never want to get up in front of people, though, and chat. He's not confident to that extreme. I don't know. He just loves himself,,,,plain and simple. I'm so glad. I wish I was that confident.....he hee.

From: luivelez <luivelez (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 9:58 PM

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

Aside from the fact that this sort of thinking makes me crazy, lol, I must say that my kids have never been good at inventing anything. I don't know how kids have such an imagination and can still be autistic? Yes, I do know all kids with autism are different. But imagination is greatly altered in my kids. Perhaps that is a difference between HFA and AS?

My older ds once saw the idea about selling lemonade on the side of the road to make money only he has HFA. So instead, he was out in the backyard pounding away with chunks of wood, nails and a hammer. He came in all happy and excited to show me his creation - the number "7". And yes, he sat on the side of a road waiting for someone to come by and want to buy a "7" pounded together with old wood and giant rusty nails. Never mind that we lived at the end of a lane and nobody would be driving by our house anyway. Still, it broke my heart to have to tell him that people would not want to buy that 7 and while I think it's wonderful, nobody else would appreciate it. (If we had had family nearby, I would have paid a relative to come and buy that 7!!!) He never did get the connection of my explanation - I could see it in his eyes - wondering if he should have made a "T" instead.

My other ds (also hfa) comes up with ideas but it's never anything that makes much sense or anything. He does things like wonder what would happen if you put egg in kool aid. He will have a school experiment to do (do eggs float in water?, for instance) and then he alters it somehow to make it more messy and odd. So it did not matter if the egg floated in kool aid because he cracked it in the kool aid. What was the original question? Did that matter to him? Was there a point? Did he drink it? No! He just got stuck on the "put the egg in" part and went with that. I should be grateful it went into a glass and not somewhere else.

If your kid is happy with who they are - I like that part! Good for them! I hate to have them crediting a disability for that, though, but I know people do that a lot. I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for autism is important. I know recently I took my 11 yo with me to have lunch with my friend whose child is severely autistic. Her ds was flapping and making noises and wanted to run around the restaurant so it was an experience for my ds! Afterwards I talked to my ds about how autism is different for some people and not in positive ways either as he saw firsthand. So it was a good overall experience for him as he has trouble imagining this in other people and generalizing it.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date: 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

September 9, 2008

Mina, you are proof of what I was trying to say...Thank you for sharing your own experience. RoseMina Smolinski <mina@...> wrote: Rose, I'd have to agree with you. I think, fundamentally, that WHO our children are is not connected to what disorder they have. For example, as a young adult and adult, I have struggled with severely debilitating depression. It effected all my behaviors, the way I interacted with the whole world, etc. But it wasn't WHO I was,

and it wasn't until being medicated appropriately that I was able to BE who I really was. I see ASD as the same thing...who they aren't can't be completely expressed because of the way the disorder effects their ability to process information. Would an ASD child who is really artistic lose that if cured? I don't believe so. Would the hyperlexic 2 year old lose all his love of letters and patterns, or lose the knowledge he's gained? Most likely not. The things they are interested in and good at are more about their personality than their disorder. And, those of us with more than one ASD kiddos knows this quite well...each ASD child has their OWN personality, their own likes/dislikes, and even their own way of coping with their disorder! If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the autistic brain getting in the way.

They will be MORE themselves, and not less so, just as with medication for depression I was able to be more myself, rather than less-so. Mina Mina Smolinski Mommy to: 9/25/02 - NT 5/13/04 - HFA Owen 7/1/05 - HFA with Hyperlexia Lila 3/3/07 - NT On Sep 9, 2008, at 7:08 AM, Rose wrote: Hi, My son feels the same way. He loves himself and T.G. he's doing well in school so far and finally got accepted with other kids. (just this past summer). BUT, if there were a cure. I would jump on it so fast.

No more doctors appointments, no more social skills groups, training for me to teach him, traveling to all those extra after school tutors, no more fighting/competing for services with school staff (due to their budget) no more working on organization and losing important things - no more frustration !. No more concerns withgeneralizing rules and not reading the non-verbal cues. understanding things without getting instruction confused because of being so literal. following more things like multi-step instructions instead of taking baby steps. IMO- I don't think a cure would change " who my son is " I'm thinking most pe ople are afraid of that - with their child's cute personality changing. NO, I think he/she would still be the same person with a lot less stress with

coping with life's demands. I believe a cure would take the place of all the interventions he has to go through. Does that make sense? I don't believe it would change the person, just change all the things that we are working on anyway. like all the interventions. **** like Roxanna once posted. I agree with her 100%, I don't give autism any credit for things that he can do so well - I believe that was my son, not the autism. I used to tell my son he is so good in math, history and science because of the autism. (I was wrong) He can memorize that whole lesson - but Roxanna's post was a big wake up call for me. I never told him that again. I now tell him he is very, very smart in these subjects because of his strong interest in them - not because of autism ...it's because of his strong interest in these subjects that he pays more attention to them and learns so much more.. (the autism

is what's holding him back). Getting back to your post: I understand what you were pointing out and I'm so happy to hear/read that your son is loving himself, ''Just as he is''. I believe he feels that way because of YOU. You helped him with everything that he needs help in to progress to get him where he is today. You made him comfortable with himself. You should take that as a big - thank you - from you son... I do know from others that have it different. I'm so glad my son feels the same way. ( hi self esteem and he feels comfortable with himself). But I explained when he's doing well in school and got a good grade in his favorite subjects, it was because he studied and payed attention. Roseluivelez <luivelez > wrote: Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

September 9, 2008

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the

> opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the

> autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE

>themselves,>>>>>>

So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys

to be 'Typical'?

I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of

society as then everything would be BORING.

Marj

mom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the

other that has HFA.

September 9, 2008

<<I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people

with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for

autism is important.>>

We did talk about the need to find a cure, not just for those with

severe autism. He actually brough it up himself.

As for autism not being part of a many of his special traits and

capacities... I totally disagree. I know that his sweet personality is

a consequence of other factors, and that philosophically we don't want

to credit a disorder with being a good thing, but in reality many of

these kids excell at some things so well because they have great

memory, narrow interests, and can learn and work so much on a specific

issue. Nobel, Edison, Mozart, Van Gogh, Gates, etc, etc, all of them

were/are clearly autistic, genius at what their restricted interests

were, and somewhat disfunctional at other things. Had they not had such

restricted interests, they may not have excelled in such dramatic way.

Most dramatic achivements require intense dedication, and that is

something our children can do very well.

We can't predict what they will end up doing, but we can expect the

best for them and find alternatives to help them excell at their

capacities. Don't you all think that is what we all really try to do

every day?

I'm sure many of you wwill disagree, but I find it better to come to

terms with his disability... the good and the bads. I don't know when

there will be a cure, and I'd speculate that given the brain

characteristics that are already well established in our AS kids by the

age of 1, the cure will be most likely to prevent autism in pregnant

women and maybe infants. Nevertheless, I'm sure partial solutions to

some of the problems they have now will be found soon, and I'll be very

gald to try them.

The reason why I think it is important to let my son know that his

amazing memory (consequence of smaller but more abundant neurons

present - part of his autism) and his capacity to dedicate to something

with such extreme concentration (also consequence of the repetitive

brain circuits present as part of his autism) are great gifts, is

because it helps us capitalize on them for his future, and it

definitely helps with his self-esteem.

Don't you all love the chance that this list gives us to exchange ideas

about everything, from the the simplest to the most complex issues

regarding our children?

Have a wonderful day. F

September 9, 2008

I guess I knew that, too, Roxanna..........at one point, I even asked the doctor about that,

because you have to be so many of them to be 'aspergers' and he told me my children were ALL OF

them BUT CREATIVE----------so I guess some of them are.............some are not.

I LOVE the 7 thing; my 7 year old would LOVE THAT NUMBER!!!!! Is is STILL FOR SALE? He is my

kiddo that creates costumes---right now, he has a tool belt (you wouldn't call it that but he has made it

one---to be honest, I am NOT SURE WHAT IT IS but TOOL BELT----) and he goes to the garage and gets about

10 tools of my husband, wears that around while riding his bike, playing, etc. He knows not to use them inappropriately so

for the moment, it is HIS COSTUME!!! EVERY HALLOWEEN COSTUME UNDER $5 ON CLEARANCE, I own; and anything worn the

past 3 years, he wears----nearly daily, he has a costume. He is SOOOOO creative and inventive, we have received a card

from a neighbor (remember, we just moved in February) telling us how creative that one, small, skinny boy of our's is, and how

much they are sooooo enjoying watching him play in the neighborhood, thanking us for entertaining them......we just thought

that was amazing and great!!!! Both our young sons have JEEPS----my 7 year old AS ropes things to his, wagons, etc. He will

pull other kids around for a ride. He will just do the most cool things (weird really but amazing in the same----weird to most I guess).

He has a lion, that is his DOG, he has a chain, leash, etc., and will take it for walks (we do play in to it, but why wouldn't we? It's a stinking

$1 for the leash, $1 for a chain, all at DOLLAR TREE!!!)---------cheaper than ANY toys, and the lion is about 4 years old now-----actually,

we entered him with his dog into a dog show photo contest, and he was one of the three top winners, and got a $50 gift certificate when he was like

4 years old------it is free to feed and he has more fun with it than he ever would a real dog!!!

REMEMBER, ROXANNA, some of these kiddos turn out to be doctors, lawyers, architects, etc., so there is sooooooo much hope!!!!

And, I love the number 7 thing; that is just great!!!! Ruthie

From: madideas@...Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 10:58:33 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Aside from the fact that this sort of thinking makes me crazy, lol, I must say that my kids have never been good at inventing anything. I don't know how kids have such an imagination and can still be autistic? Yes, I do know all kids with autism are different. But imagination is greatly altered in my kids. Perhaps that is a difference between HFA and AS?

My older ds once saw the idea about selling lemonade on the side of the road to make money only he has HFA. So instead, he was out in the backyard pounding away with chunks of wood, nails and a hammer. He came in all happy and excited to show me his creation - the number "7". And yes, he sat on the side of a road waiting for someone to come by and want to buy a "7" pounded together with old wood and giant rusty nails. Never mind that we lived at the end of a lane and nobody would be driving by our house anyway. Still, it broke my heart to have to tell him that people would not want to buy that 7 and while I think it's wonderful, nobody else would appreciate it. (If we had had family nearby, I would have paid a relative to come and buy that 7!!!) He never did get the connection of my explanation - I could see it in his eyes - wondering if he should have made a "T" instead.

My other ds (also hfa) comes up with ideas but it's never anything that makes much sense or anything. He does things like wonder what would happen if you put egg in kool aid. He will have a school experiment to do (do eggs float in water?, for instance) and then he alters it somehow to make it more messy and odd. So it did not matter if the egg floated in kool aid because he cracked it in the kool aid. What was the original question? Did that matter to him? Was there a point? Did he drink it? No! He just got stuck on the "put the egg in" part and went with that. I should be grateful it went into a glass and not somewhere else.

If your kid is happy with who they are - I like that part! Good for them! I hate to have them crediting a disability for that, though, but I know people do that a lot. I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for autism is important. I know recently I took my 11 yo with me to have lunch with my friend whose child is severely autistic. Her ds was flapping and making noises and wanted to run around the restaurant so it was an experience for my ds! Afterwards I talked to my ds about how autism is different for some people and not in positive ways either as he saw firsthand. So it was a good overall experience for him as he has trouble imagining this in other people and generalizing it.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

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September 9, 2008

Hi again, that is what I was doing/saying in the past. that it's because of his autism that he has that ability to memorize the whole Zack and Cody show. - who else would want to do that !. or memorize the whole history lesson. I hate history... but my son has a strong interest with it. But, instead of giving that credit to the autism, I now let him know that it's HIM that is doing well because he has such an interest in this. In the beginning, when I was saying it's because he has autism - that's why he does well in these subjects to now re-directing that to it's him, because he's paying such close attention and has such a strong interest is why he's doing so well (not mentioning the autism at all at this point). He is still doing well with all this - And doing well -self esteem wise. I also agree with you with - If there is a cure, it won't help my son now - because - as our neurologist put it,

Autism is a neurological disorder that effects the brain, and you can't change the brain. I hope they do find a cure - it would be to help the fetus or new borns. As for my son, we still work on the tutoring & therapies. And YES, I love that we all have our own opinions and can post them here. that's why I love this site and stay... I want to hear them all. you know, sometimes with some topics both sides make so much sense at the same time and they are so opposite opinions, it just get so confusing...did that happen to anyone else ? But I still think IMO that it's him not the autism that makes him so smart in certern things. *smile* Roseluivelez <luivelez@...> wrote: <>We did talk about the need to find a cure, not just for those with severe autism. He actually brough it up himself.As for autism not being part of a many of his special traits and capacities... I totally disagree. I know that his sweet personality is a consequence of other factors, and that philosophically we don't want to credit a disorder with being a good thing, but in reality many of these kids excell at some things so well because they

have great memory, narrow interests, and can learn and work so much on a specific issue. Nobel, Edison, Mozart, Van Gogh, Gates, etc, etc, all of them were/are clearly autistic, genius at what their restricted interests were, and somewhat disfunctional at other things. Had they not had such restricted interests, they may not have excelled in such dramatic way. Most dramatic achivements require intense dedication, and that is something our children can do very well. We can't predict what they will end up doing, but we can expect the best for them and find alternatives to help them excell at their capacities. Don't you all think that is what we all really try to do every day?I'm sure many of you wwill disagree, but I find it better to come to terms with his disability... the good and the bads. I don't know when there will be a cure, and I'd speculate that given the brain characteristics that are already

well established in our AS kids by the age of 1, the cure will be most likely to prevent autism in pregnant women and maybe infants. Nevertheless, I'm sure partial solutions to some of the problems they have now will be found soon, and I'll be very gald to try them.The reason why I think it is important to let my son know that his amazing memory (consequence of smaller but more abundant neurons present - part of his autism) and his capacity to dedicate to something with such extreme concentration (also consequence of the repetitive brain circuits present as part of his autism) are great gifts, is because it helps us capitalize on them for his future, and it definitely helps with his self-esteem.Don't you all love the chance that this list gives us to exchange ideas about everything, from the the simplest to the most complex issues regarding our children?Have a wonderful day.

F

September 9, 2008

i like your thinking,!--- Den tis 2008-09-09 skrev luivelez <luivelez@...>:Från: luivelez <luivelez@...>Ämne: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Till: Datum: tisdag 9 september 2008 18.23

<<I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people

with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for

autism is important.>>

We did talk about the need to find a cure, not just for those with

severe autism. He actually brough it up himself.

As for autism not being part of a many of his special traits and

capacities.. . I totally disagree. I know that his sweet personality is