Re: I don't want to be cured (my son about 'cure autism now')

[Guest guest]

Hi, Sue.........I am RUTHIE---RUTH is someone else, just so you know........anyway, that is great. I never knew ANYONE else with AS did this. That is great. Ruthie

From: susiejones58@...Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 13:02:54 -0700Subject: RE: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi Ruth,

I can't believe that there is another little boy who does the same thing as Gage. He also "walks" a stuffed lion even though we do have a real dog. He also loves wearing my apron and put things in the pocket. He also loves gathering tools and will sit outside with the hammer, a couple of nails and a piece of wood. He has a plastic wagon from his toddler days that he will tie a rope to and pull stuffed animals around.

Our neighbors are all elderly and they absolutely love Gage. They think he is amazing. His imagination is incredible also. I just love to read about other children who do the same things as my son and that is what is incredible about this site.

Sue

From: BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn>Subject: RE: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Aspergers Treatment Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 1:04 PM

I guess I knew that, too, Roxanna..... .....at one point, I even asked the doctor about that,because you have to be so many of them to be 'aspergers' and he told me my children were ALL OFthem BUT CREATIVE---- ------so I guess some of them are......... ....some are not. I LOVE the 7 thing; my 7 year old would LOVE THAT NUMBER!!!!! Is is STILL FOR SALE? He is my kiddo that creates costumes---right now, he has a tool belt (you wouldn't call it that but he has made itone---to be honest, I am NOT SURE WHAT IT IS but TOOL BELT----) and he goes to the garage and gets about10 tools of my husband, wears that around while riding his bike, playing, etc. He knows not to use them inappropriately sofor the moment, it is HIS COSTUME!!! EVERY HALLOWEEN COSTUME UNDER $5 ON CLEARANCE, I own; and anything worn thepast 3 years, he wears----nearly daily, he has a costume. He is SOOOOO creative and inventive, we have received a cardfrom a neighbor (remember, we just moved in February) telling us how creative that one, small, skinny boy of our's is, and howmuch they are sooooo enjoying watching him play in the neighborhood, thanking us for entertaining them......we just thought that was amazing and great!!!! Both our young sons have JEEPS----my 7 year old AS ropes things to his, wagons, etc. He willpull other kids around for a ride. He will just do the most cool things (weird really but amazing in the same----weird to most I guess).He has a lion, that is his DOG, he has a chain, leash, etc., and will take it for walks (we do play in to it, but why wouldn't we? It's a stinking$1 for the leash, $1 for a chain, all at DOLLAR TREE!!!)---- -----cheaper than ANY toys, and the lion is about 4 years old now-----actually,we entered him with his dog into a dog show photo contest, and he was one of the three top winners, and got a $50 gift certificate when he was like4 years old------it is free to feed and he has more fun with it than he ever would a real dog!!! REMEMBER, ROXANNA, some of these kiddos turn out to be doctors, lawyers, architects, etc., so there is sooooooo much hope!!!! And, I love the number 7 thing; that is just great!!!! Ruthie

From: madideas@zoomintern et.netDate: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 10:58:33 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Aside from the fact that this sort of thinking makes me crazy, lol, I must say that my kids have never been good at inventing anything. I don't know how kids have such an imagination and can still be autistic? Yes, I do know all kids with autism are different. But imagination is greatly altered in my kids. Perhaps that is a difference between HFA and AS?

My older ds once saw the idea about selling lemonade on the side of the road to make money only he has HFA. So instead, he was out in the backyard pounding away with chunks of wood, nails and a hammer. He came in all happy and excited to show me his creation - the number "7". And yes, he sat on the side of a road waiting for someone to come by and want to buy a "7" pounded together with old wood and giant rusty nails. Never mind that we lived at the end of a lane and nobody would be driving by our house anyway. Still, it broke my heart to have to tell him that people would not want to buy that 7 and while I think it's wonderful, nobody else would appreciate it. (If we had had family nearby, I would have paid a relative to come and buy that 7!!!) He never did get the connection of my explanation - I could see it in his eyes - wondering if he should have made a "T" instead.

My other ds (also hfa) comes up with ideas but it's never anything that makes much sense or anything. He does things like wonder what would happen if you put egg in kool aid. He will have a school experiment to do (do eggs float in water?, for instance) and then he alters it somehow to make it more messy and odd. So it did not matter if the egg floated in kool aid because he cracked it in the kool aid. What was the original question? Did that matter to him? Was there a point? Did he drink it? No! He just got stuck on the "put the egg in" part and went with that. I should be grateful it went into a glass and not somewhere else.

If your kid is happy with who they are - I like that part! Good for them! I hate to have them crediting a disability for that, though, but I know people do that a lot. I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for autism is important. I know recently I took my 11 yo with me to have lunch with my friend whose child is severely autistic. Her ds was flapping and making noises and wanted to run around the restaurant so it was an experience for my ds! Afterwards I talked to my ds about how autism is different for some people and not in positive ways either as he saw firsthand. So it was a good overall experience for him as he has trouble imagining this in other people and generalizing it.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

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My older HFA son, , has a phenomenal imagination as well, makes up stories, does a lot of imaginary play, etc. He's also extremely artistic. Mina On Sep 9, 2008, at 4:12 PM, Sue wrote:I can tell you that Gage has a heck of an imagination. He has imaginary friends who he talks to. He can also invent stories. He has AS. SueFrom: Roxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net>Subject: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 10:58 AMAside from the fact that this sort of thinking makes me crazy, lol, I must say that my kids have never been good at inventing anything. I don't know how kids have such an imagination and can still be autistic? Yes, I do know all kids with autism are different. But imagination is greatly altered in my kids. Perhaps that is a difference between HFA and AS? My older ds once saw the idea about selling lemonade on the side of the road to make money only he has HFA. So instead, he was out in the backyard pounding away with chunks of wood, nails and a hammer. He came in all happy and excited to show me his creation - the number "7". And yes, he sat on the side of a road waiting for someone to come by and want to buy a "7" pounded together with old wood and giant rusty nails. Never mind that we lived at the end of a lane and nobody would be driving by our house anyway. Still, it broke my heart to have to tell him that people would not want to buy that 7 and while I think it's wonderful, nobody else would appreciate it. (If we had had family nearby, I would have paid a relative to come and buy that 7!!!) He never did get the connection of my explanation - I could see it in his eyes - wondering if he should have made a "T" instead. My other ds (also hfa) comes up with ideas but it's never anything that makes much sense or anything. He does things like wonder what would happen if you put egg in kool aid. He will have a school experiment to do (do eggs float in water?, for instance) and then he alters it somehow to make it more messy and odd. So it did not matter if the egg floated in kool aid because he cracked it in the kool aid. What was the original question? Did that matter to him? Was there a point? Did he drink it? No! He just got stuck on the "put the egg in" part and went with that. I should be grateful it went into a glass and not somewhere else. If your kid is happy with who they are - I like that part! Good for them! I hate to have them crediting a disability for that, though, but I know people do that a lot. I would hope that you could try to explain to them that some people with autism are not doing as well as they are so finding a cure for autism is important. I know recently I took my 11 yo with me to have lunch with my friend whose child is severely autistic. Her ds was flapping and making noises and wanted to run around the restaurant so it was an experience for my ds! Afterwards I talked to my ds about how autism is different for some people and not in positive ways either as he saw firsthand. So it was a good overall experience for him as he has trouble imagining this in other people and generalizing it. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. FNo virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date: 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

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I did keep the 7 but during a move at some point, it was lost. Either that or it is in a box somewhere. But I would bet someone found it and threw it out. So, no 7 for sale anymore!

I just do not get the creativity part - and the playing too. My kids don't do that. I have a friend whose ds is AS and her kid re-enacts plays and shows. So it's creative in one sense but of course, it's always just like the show he watched originally. So in that sense, it is not creative in that it is not his original thinking. That is also how my kids are. They might play something but it is something they have seen or read somewhere else. But there is not a lot of play.

Also, toys! We do not have many toys but it's because the boys never wanted any or were interested in them. So they have a few things but overall, very little.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

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That is GREAT! My 7 year old would be thrilled with paper, pencils, art stuff----the WALL ('cuz I swear it is his favorite

place to draw and design even though it is wrong and he knows it----does it anyway!!!!)----------HE DOES LOVE

TOYS----HE LOVES CASH REGISTERS AND MONEY STUFF---ALTHOUGH HE CAN'T COUNT IT OR ANYTHING---AND HE DID

learn it in my daycare----carries it on in his own play so some of it is taught; other stuff, he completely (as far as we know) creates

on his own-----------I sure never said to draw letters and numbers in rainbow fashion on the wall while we sleep!!! But, he does---

could have seen something like it on TV and did it to his wall??? But, that is NOT a 'shining moment.'

I went to a speaker last night, and she was saying her son loves light bulbs, and does things with a light bulb that most never

knew could be done, and that he has NEVER broken one but has to have one every place he goes!!!!! So, who knows....they 'obsess'

on certain things....................

I sure wanted that seven......lol.

Have a great day, Roxanna.

Ruthie

From: madideas@...Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:34:47 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

I did keep the 7 but during a move at some point, it was lost. Either that or it is in a box somewhere. But I would bet someone found it and threw it out. So, no 7 for sale anymore!

I just do not get the creativity part - and the playing too. My kids don't do that. I have a friend whose ds is AS and her kid re-enacts plays and shows. So it's creative in one sense but of course, it's always just like the show he watched originally. So in that sense, it is not creative in that it is not his original thinking. That is also how my kids are. They might play something but it is something they have seen or read somewhere else. But there is not a lot of play.

Also, toys! We do not have many toys but it's because the boys never wanted any or were interested in them. So they have a few things but overall, very little.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date: 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

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Roxanna, My son is like that - your last paragraph. One birthday party I had for him, Lots of kids showed up - but he never got invited to their parties. Not one. anyway, he got lots of presents that weren't opened at his party - lots happening and every enjoyed playing the place was closing and we ran out of time. When we got home, he still didn't open any presents. I thought he was just overwhelmed and tired. the next day and week, everything was still in this big clear garbage bag still wrapped. I asked him when was he going to open his presents?. that's when he opened his gifts, just unwrapped them. he didn't open the boxes to actually play with them. so, was he not interested or just the wrong timing?. My son prefers to battle with this little action figures or just little things, it doesn't make a difference what they are. maybe a little dinosaur or small insects that you can get

at the dollar store, stuff like that. Now with my daughter, she'll be unwrapping them at the party or in the car on the way home, boxes opened and on it - playing right away. she just can't wait. so different between the two. Same with school shopping. My daughter tried on everything again when she got home and couldn't wait to wear her new sneakers, shoes, everything...till today, my son's new clothes are still in the same bags that they came home in and still in the same spot in his room. He only wore his sneakers because the old ones got wet. He didn't even remember he bought new socks and told me he has no more clean socks. I had to remind him he has a ton of new ones. OH !.RoseRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I did keep the 7 but during a move at some point, it was lost. Either that or it is in a box somewhere. But I would bet someone found it and threw it out. So, no 7 for sale anymore! I just do not get the creativity part - and the playing too. My kids don't do that. I have a friend whose ds is AS and her kid re-enacts plays and shows. So it's creative in one sense but of course, it's always just like the show he watched originally. So in that sense, it is not creative in that it is not his

original thinking. That is also how my kids are. They might play something but it is something they have seen or read somewhere else. But there is not a lot of play. Also, toys! We do not have many toys but it's because the boys never wanted any or were interested in them. So they have a few things but overall, very little. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date: 9/9/2008

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My younger ds (now 11 yo, hfa, hyperlexic) used to write on the walls all the time. He got this interest from going to pre-k - where they had signs up everywhere telling you what things were (The sign on the wall says, "Wall", the sign on the door says, "door", ect.) So I have/had writing on my walls to go with that kind of theme, lol. He even decided to write an entire abc/123 chart on the doors in a box - you had to type in the secret code to get in and out. Creative yes, but only in that he saw it on a movie or show somewhere. And it also fit his intense obsession with numbers and letters. He would draw arrows for parts that he labeled - like an arrow pointing to a keyhole that would say, "Key." And because of this, we never got any walls mixed up with doors in this house for all these years. ROFL! There was also his little brother's name written very high on my wall with a line going horizontal - like people would draw a line at the top of their kid's heads to show how tall they got. I always wondered if his brother jumped that high off the bed. But some things we just don't want to ask. So we don't know and we don't ask. lol. (Isn't that a military policy? lol)

I am repainting things lately so I have to take pictures of some of his stuff so I can remember it. It is cute. I definitely am going to paint over it all, though. <g>

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something verysweet he said today.Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: "papa, I don'twant to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who isgoing to do all the inventions?"I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, hefeels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.Have a great day. F

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date: 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

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Roxanna, I laughed and cried a little at this wonderful story of the " 7. "

As an artist, though, I would have to say, your son's " 7 " was really

much more creative than the lemonade stand. Practical? no, probably

not, money making, no, probably not. BUT, just think of the

contemporary art that hangs in most museums and what your son did is

much more along the lines of the way these artist's minds work.

How many people could think of something as unique as what your son

made? Very few! How many people would be able to completely disregard

the traditional thinking of society to come up with this idea? Again,

not many.

Now for the graphic design, practical artists part of me...he may, and

my son who is very much like what you described, never be able to

translate that creativity into something " usable " or that helps him

function in society. That is part of the gap that makes it so hard for

us, and for them.

This aspect of my child has been the most difficult for me to accept.

As a child I was always " making " stuff. Whether it was with wood, or

mud, or cooking, sewing, whatever, I had a cozy picture of the me and

my future child doing this. Unh uh. Didn't happen. While he has

creative quirks, they are not in the areas that I expected.

Your story is one of my all time favorites, one of those that has made

me stop and think!

Sue in TN

In , " Roxanna " <madideas@...> wrote:

>

> I did keep the 7 but during a move at some point, it was lost.

Either that or it is in a box somewhere. But I would bet someone

found it and threw it out. So, no 7 for sale anymore!

>

> I just do not get the creativity part - and the playing too. My

kids don't do that. I have a friend whose ds is AS and her kid

re-enacts plays and shows. So it's creative in one sense but of

course, it's always just like the show he watched originally. So in

that sense, it is not creative in that it is not his original

thinking. That is also how my kids are. They might play something

but it is something they have seen or read somewhere else. But there

is not a lot of play.

>

> Also, toys! We do not have many toys but it's because the boys

never wanted any or were interested in them. So they have a few

things but overall, very little.

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

> ( ) " I don't want to be cured " (my son

about 'cure autism now')

>

>

>

> Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8

> yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something very

> sweet he said today.

>

> Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: " papa, I don't

> want to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who is

> going to do all the inventions? "

>

> I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, he

> feels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.

>

> Have a great day. F

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date:

9/9/2008 10:47 AM

>

>

>

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> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date:

9/9/2008 10:47 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Rose,

that sounds exactly like my kids. My in-laws used to get so upset (with me, of course since it was all my fault!) because our ds would not be interested in the presents they bought him. And they had stuff for him everytime we showed up. Usually it was just stuff she would get at yard sales or the dollar store - but little plastic toys, fake money, pretend shaving cream bottles, etc. He never was interested. Even at holidays and birthdays! We just would do it for him and try to draw him forward into the moment while he hid in another room or under our chairs.

Finally, he had advanced enough to get to the point where he would open a present. But only one! Once he opened one gift, he was done. So we would open the rest for him and try to show him that something exciting was inside - something he did not always agree with!! It was too overwhelming for him to deal with more than one gift at a time.

Years later, he was good at opening gifts by then but still was odd when it came to getting anything new. For a long time, I would buy the same shoes as he got the last time because to get new ones would be such a tantrum! They aren't the same!! Then one day, he was ready to try a new pair of different shoes! Finally!

Then I remember buying him some shirts I found on sale and he shrugged and didn't take them or even look at them. Why not? "I already have shirts." He's 19 yo and still telling me he already has tshirts. Why would you buy more when you have some already? lol. AUGH! I have to keep after him on these things, "Because they are a good buy and the ones you have will wear out or look old fashioned soon...so we are allowed to get more and save them for later...ok?" lol.

For the little guy I have worked with (severe autism), I wrote him a social story about his birthday because, like many kids with autism, opening presents did not interest him. I made sure to have a birthday present in the story and when you read it, you would say, "What is in the box??" and I would wonder what might be in it? We did this last year and he actually opened his presents, his mom said. He has zero interest in toys but I think he got the idea that "something" was in there and I was pleased that he was curious enough to open and find out!

My dd's are the same way as yours. My 16 yo dd now has new socks and shirts on before we get home. I'm like, "Hello! You couldn't wait to get in the house first????" lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

Roxanna, My son is like that - your last paragraph. One birthday party I had for him, Lots of kids showed up - but he never got invited to their parties. Not one. anyway, he got lots of presents that weren't opened at his party - lots happening and every enjoyed playing the place was closing and we ran out of time. When we got home, he still didn't open any presents. I thought he was just overwhelmed and tired. the next day and week, everything was still in this big clear garbage bag still wrapped. I asked him when was he going to open his presents?. that's when he opened his gifts, just unwrapped them. he didn't open the boxes to actually play with them.

so, was he not interested or just the wrong timing?. My son prefers to battle with this little action figures or just little things, it doesn't make a difference what they are. maybe a little dinosaur or small insects that you can get at the dollar store, stuff like that.

Now with my daughter, she'll be unwrapping them at the party or in the car on the way home, boxes opened and on it - playing right away. she just can't wait. so different between the two.

Same with school shopping. My daughter tried on everything again when she got home and couldn't wait to wear her new sneakers, shoes, everything...till today, my son's new clothes are still in the same bags that they came home in and still in the same spot in his room. He only wore his sneakers because the old ones got wet. He didn't even remember he bought new socks and told me he has no more clean socks. I had to remind him he has a ton of new ones. OH !.Rose

..

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My guys didn't "get" the whole present thing for a while, but (4, hfa), just finally figured out around his birthday that presents were great fun, and was totally into opening them to see what was inside. It helps, I suppose, that I try to make sure I buy gifts that he's really interested in, like a new game for his V-Smile, etc. I also try to make sure that anyone else buying gifts for him knows what his interests are.Owen, who's 3, hfa and hyperlexic, is understanding the whole present idea faster, and this last birthday was somewhat interested in opening his gifts, although he had all 3 siblings helping as well. He'll probably really be into it at Christmas this year.Mina Mina SmolinskiMommy to: 9/25/02 - NT 5/13/04 - HFAOwen 7/1/05 - HFA with HyperlexiaLila 3/3/07 - NT On Sep 10, 2008, at 10:29 AM, Roxanna wrote:Rose,that sounds exactly like my kids. My in-laws used to get so upset (with me, of course since it was all my fault!) because our ds would not be interested in the presents they bought him. And they had stuff for him everytime we showed up. Usually it was just stuff she would get at yard sales or the dollar store - but little plastic toys, fake money, pretend shaving cream bottles, etc. He never was interested. Even at holidays and birthdays! We just would do it for him and try to draw him forward into the moment while he hid in another room or under our chairs. Finally, he had advanced enough to get to the point where he would open a present. But only one! Once he opened one gift, he was done. So we would open the rest for him and try to show him that something exciting was inside - something he did not always agree with!! It was too overwhelming for him to deal with more than one gift at a time. Years later, he was good at opening gifts by then but still was odd when it came to getting anything new. For a long time, I would buy the same shoes as he got the last time because to get new ones would be such a tantrum! They aren't the same!! Then one day, he was ready to try a new pair of different shoes! Finally! Then I remember buying him some shirts I found on sale and he shrugged and didn't take them or even look at them. Why not? "I already have shirts." He's 19 yo and still telling me he already has tshirts. Why would you buy more when you have some already? lol. AUGH! I have to keep after him on these things, "Because they are a good buy and the ones you have will wear out or look old fashioned soon...so we are allowed to get more and save them for later...ok?" lol. For the little guy I have worked with (severe autism), I wrote him a social story about his birthday because, like many kids with autism, opening presents did not interest him. I made sure to have a birthday present in the story and when you read it, you would say, "What is in the box??" and I would wonder what might be in it? We did this last year and he actually opened his presents, his mom said. He has zero interest in toys but I think he got the idea that "something" was in there and I was pleased that he was curious enough to open and find out! My dd's are the same way as yours. My 16 yo dd now has new socks and shirts on before we get home. I'm like, "Hello! You couldn't wait to get in the house first????" lol. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Roxanna, My son is like that - your last paragraph. One birthday party I had for him, Lots of kids showed up - but he never got invited to their parties. Not one. anyway, he got lots of presents that weren't opened at his party - lots happening and every enjoyed playing the place was closing and we ran out of time. When we got home, he still didn't open any presents. I thought he was just overwhelmed and tired. the next day and week, everything was still in this big clear garbage bag still wrapped. I asked him when was he going to open his presents?. that's when he opened his gifts, just unwrapped them. he didn't open the boxes to actually play with them.so, was he not interested or just the wrong timing?. My son prefers to battle with this little action figures or just little things, it doesn't make a difference what they are. maybe a little dinosaur or small insects that you can get at the dollar store, stuff like that.Now with my daughter, she'll be unwrapping them at the party or in the car on the way home, boxes opened and on it - playing right away. she just can't wait. so different between the two. Same with school shopping. My daughter tried on everything again when she got home and couldn't wait to wear her new sneakers, shoes, everything...till today, my son's new clothes are still in the same bags that they came home in and still in the same spot in his room. He only wore his sneakers because the old ones got wet. He didn't even remember he bought new socks and told me he has no more clean socks. I had to remind him he has a ton of new ones. OH !.Rose. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 9/10/2008 6:00 AM

[Guest guest]

I've been called autistic too. I guess we all may have some traits. What I wished the most is that the term 'autism' did not have any negative connotation, that our kids could say with confidence, "I have autism, I have particular needs and characteristics related that, and I also have great gifts associated to it... so if you are willing to know me well, you'll see how great I am". I don't pretend to deny all the hardships associated with it, but life isn't easy for most people anyway. I've made it a point to speak about autism without any negative connotation. I don't accept any 'poor boy' about my son from any of my friends or co-workers, and I have tried to educate them about the issue. My son is sweet, smart, funny, and quirky, and I love him for every bit of that, including his quirks and limitations.

I truly believe that all these kids can become good at something extraordinary. There must be several Edisons among our children (you may disagree with Dxing people long dead, but when someone tried 401 times before succeding with the incandescent bulb like Edison did... boy I have a hard time explaining such persistence from an otherwise NT individual!); and I'm sure there are very many among our children that will be great doctors, facsinated with just one health problem, and great firefighters interested in anything that can be done to prevent fires, and great bakers so interested in cookies that they are capable of making the best chocolate chip cookie in the entire city, and great landscapers, or great inventors, or engineers fascinated with how to balance a beam in a particular type of structure, or great pianists, or some of the best of train photographers, or the foremost expert in transportation...

I'm sorry, but I can only believe that despite all our struggles, and all their suffering, there is a bright future for them, that the key is to help them cope with and alliviate their handicaps, and excell at whatever their narrow interests allows them too. And they may always be quirky... and that's perfect. We all are quirky. Caetano Veloso, a famous Brazilian singer and songwriter says: "no one is normal from a close distance".

Thanks and have a great day. F

[Guest guest]

Roxanna, all this is amazing !.. Last Christmas, our therapist said. for me to get my son some paper clips for Christmas. He would love them. Of course, when I left, I thought how silly that sounded. I couldn't just get my son paper clips. anyway, I got him a nice toy - a boys toy. forgot what it was but other boys in the store were playing with it. Looked good. I wrapped it and at the last minute I bought a Hugh box of paper clips. After a while when he got to opening his gifts, he went into his room quiet for a while. when he came out he said. Look what I made. and out from paper clips he made a boy walking his dog on a leash. I think that was of him and his buddy - his dog. it looked awesome !. I couldn't believe he made that so good with paper clips. that other toy was still in the box. He asked me if I can get him another large box of paper

clips. LOL, I can just picture it. when he went back to school and the kids asked each other - what did you get for Christmas ? and he says - a box of paper clips. lol. because of all the gifts, that's what he liked the best. RoseRoxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Rose, that sounds exactly like my kids. My in-laws used to get so upset (with me, of course since it

was all my fault!) because our ds would not be interested in the presents they bought him. And they had stuff for him everytime we showed up. Usually it was just stuff she would get at yard sales or the dollar store - but little plastic toys, fake money, pretend shaving cream bottles, etc. He never was interested. Even at holidays and birthdays! We just would do it for him and try to draw him forward into the moment while he hid in another room or under our chairs. Finally, he had advanced enough to get to the point where he would open a present. But only one! Once he opened one gift, he was done. So we would open the rest for him and try to show him that something exciting was inside - something he did not always agree with!! It was too overwhelming for him to deal with more than one gift at a

time. Years later, he was good at opening gifts by then but still was odd when it came to getting anything new. For a long time, I would buy the same shoes as he got the last time because to get new ones would be such a tantrum! They aren't the same!! Then one day, he was ready to try a new pair of different shoes! Finally! Then I remember buying him some shirts I found on sale and he shrugged and didn't take them or even look at them. Why not? "I already have shirts." He's 19 yo and still telling me he already has tshirts. Why would you buy more when you have some already? lol. AUGH! I have to keep after him on these things, "Because they are a good buy and the ones you

have will wear out or look old fashioned soon...so we are allowed to get more and save them for later...ok?" lol. For the little guy I have worked with (severe autism), I wrote him a social story about his birthday because, like many kids with autism, opening presents did not interest him. I made sure to have a birthday present in the story and when you read it, you would say, "What is in the box??" and I would wonder what might be in it? We did this last year and he actually opened his presents, his mom said. He has zero interest in toys but I think he got the idea that "something" was in there and I was pleased that he was curious enough to open and find out! My dd's are the same way as yours. My

16 yo dd now has new socks and shirts on before we get home. I'm like, "Hello! You couldn't wait to get in the house first????" lol. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else... Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my

son about 'cure autism now') Roxanna, My son is like that - your last paragraph. One birthday party I had for him, Lots of kids showed up - but he never got invited to their parties. Not one. anyway, he got lots of presents that weren't opened at his party - lots happening and every enjoyed playing the place was closing and we ran out of time. When we got home, he still didn't open any presents. I thought he was just overwhelmed and tired. the next day and week, everything was still in this big clear garbage bag still wrapped. I asked him when was he going to open his presents?. that's when he opened his gifts, just unwrapped them. he didn't open the boxes to actually play with them. so, was he not interested or just the wrong timing?. My son prefers to battle with this little action figures or just little things, it doesn't make a difference

what they are. maybe a little dinosaur or small insects that you can get at the dollar store, stuff like that. Now with my daughter, she'll be unwrapping them at the party or in the car on the way home, boxes opened and on it - playing right away. she just can't wait. so different between the two. Same with school shopping. My daughter tried on everything again when she got home and couldn't wait to wear her new sneakers, shoes, everything...till today, my son's new clothes are still in the same bags that they came home in and still in the same spot in his room. He only wore his sneakers because the old ones got wet. He didn't even remember he bought new socks and told me he has no more clean socks. I had to remind him he has a ton of new ones. OH !.Rose . No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 9/10/2008 6:00 AM

[Guest guest]

> Roxanna, I laughed and cried a little at this wonderful story of

>the " 7. " >>>>>>>>>>

Ok so where is this story of the 7 as its not here as the reponse to in

the above post????

Marj

[Guest guest]

Roxanna, I have been searching around in my mind for a response to

your third question about what is it like to parent a child with

disability. I have turned over one metaphor after another in my mind

and YOU JUST WROTE IT IN THIS POST!!!!

It is a lifetime of putting metaphorical artwork up on the wall, his

and everyone elses in school, in the neighborhood, in the world. And

his is different and it's painful many times in that difference.

Yeah, you can tell me over and over about how you are not supposed to

compare your children to one another. But what are the many, many

tests they give these kids but a comparison to " how do you stack up to

everyone else. " Where is your score on the " norm? "

Sometimes that artwork is really beautiful, sometimes nobody but Mom

or Dad sees the beauty. The " critics " hoot at it and the fact that it

is up for this public comparison, just like an art show is so hard and

so painful.

Darn, if I were a really good writer I could have this make more

sense, but what you wrote is my metaphor for what my life with my HFA

son is like.

Sue in TN

In , " Roxanna " <madideas@...> wrote:

>

> lol, glad you liked the " story of the 7. " I sure wish I had it

still and I'd share a photo of it too. And yes, I know his mind is

amazing, even autistic as it is. lol.

>

> Did I tell this one lately? Maybe I have - it's the same ds of mine

a few years later: Same boy a few years later went to a nice

parochial school in 3rd grade. One day, they called me in to talk

about him. I was so nervous - what did he do???? lol.

>

> So I go in and sit down and his two teachers are nice and tell me

something nice about him first. Then they invite me to look at all

the pictures hanging up at the top of the wall. They were all the

same - looked like a big town square each child drew - stores on one

side, big tree in the center, street going around...all very nice.

All the same. Did I mention how all those drawing were alike? The

assignment was to draw a town square. They gave a list of things you

had to include - such as a post office, store, etc. Nice kids. Nice

drawings...

>

> Then they open a folder and pull out my ds's. It looked nothing

like a town square and nothing like the other kids' drawings on the

wall. No. It had big mountains. It had a wall drawn through the

mountains (duh, the Great Wall of China!) and there were little

fighting men (roaming bands of men raping and pillaging, of

course...did I mention this was a parochial school?) and well, what

can one say to that? The teachers said, " We are

just....concerned....about Royce. "

>

> Hmm. Me too. Ever since they told me was autistic, I've been

concerned. lol....lol!

>

> So anyway, long story longer, I immediately recognized what he had

done. He loved playing the game " Civilization " on the computer. So

when they said " create a neighborhood " - he did just that as if he

were playing the game Civilization. And of course, that means

starting from nothing and building your empire from the ground up! lol.

>

> The teachers were relieved to know what it meant.

>

> Oh - I have fun stories about this kid! When he was around 2 or 3,

he would get up at night and raid the house. I would fall asleep in

front of his door to prevent him from leaving his room. He would wait

for me to pass out from exhaustion and walk over me. One night I woke

up around 3 a.m. and he was squating in front of the tv set with a

carton of eggs. He was carefully (ha!) cracking them open - more like

sticking a finger in them until they opened. It was such a mess. It

was not until later that evening as I read him his favorite bedtime

story that I realized why he was cracking eggs. He loved the book by

Dr. Suess called, " Are you my mother? " and he was looking for baby

birds in the eggs.

>

> We had a problem keeping eggs safe in my house for a long time

after...He's always had a different way of seeing the world. He's 19

yo now. :-) If I try telling him these stories about himself, he just

says, " That's not true! " LOL! Like I make this stuff up! LOL.

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

> ( ) " I don't want to be cured " (my son

> about 'cure autism now')

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi! We are having a pretty bumpy start of the school year with our 8

> > yo son (3rd grade), but I wanted to share with you something very

> > sweet he said today.

> >

> > Today he read an ad for 'cure autism now' and said: " papa, I don't

> > want to be cured! If we don't have people with Asperger's, who is

> > going to do all the inventions? "

> >

> > I feel is such a treasure that, despite all the inconveniences, he

> > feels well about himself being in the autistic spectrum.

> >

> > Have a great day. F

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ----------------------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> >

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> > Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date:

> 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ----------------------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> >

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> > Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1662 - Release Date:

> 9/9/2008 10:47 AM

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date:

9/10/2008 6:00 AM

>

[Guest guest]

I have read many posts over this theme now,and foremost Roxanna´s statements.Personally I feel that AS is a part of my son(not apart:))). I don´t know who he should be not having high functioning autism.He might be more social and do more different things. He might also be teasing other kids,trying to be a smart guy or selling things at doors,what might lead into the trap of a pedophile. Now I know what he is doing and if he doesn´t know what to do,he calls me. The other boys his age in this neighbourhood are out late in the evening,just hanging out.,never greeeting..........I think my boy will be able to live a life of his own and have a job thats suits him.He knows how to clean and make some food already.But I am not able to imagine him without AS.If it is a part of one´s personality, you cannot separate what is from the autistic side and what not.I am

not able to judge,I may be on the spectrum myself.--- Den tors 2008-09-11 skrev Roxanna <madideas@...>:Från: Roxanna <madideas@...>Ämne: Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')Till: Datum: torsdag 11 september 2008 15.34

No Marj,

this is not at all what she said. I thought she expressed herself very well and made her point. I don't know how you didn't understand it. Maybe if you explained what parts are confusing you, I can help you or she can try to re-explain it to you in a simpler way?

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves, >>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the other that has HFA.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 9/10/2008 6:00 AM

Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo.se/c-169901-resor-biljetter.html

[Guest guest]

Um, no, that's not exactly what I was saying at all. I do NOT credit ASD with any of the wonderful traits and talents my children have. My children are highly intelligent...not because they are HFA, but because THEY are intelligent. My son is highly artistic...as is my own brother, who is NOT ASD. My son Owen is very good with letters and numbers, and pattern relationships...I also was good at these things as a child (I had an effortless time learning to read...my teacher in school ask me how I did it and I told her "You just put the letters together and they make words."). My husband and I BOTH have IQ's in the genius range...his just a few points higher than mine. Therefore, it's not terribly odd that we would have very intelligent children, as well. Both my NT kiddos seem to have quite high intelligence as well...in fact the baby (NT girl) seems VERY smart. And, actually, part of the reason for MY particular point of view may be my faith...I don't think that our BRAINS are the central point of our personality...they are just an organ for organizing, sorting, and processing that which is produced by our SPIRITS, which is US. So, anyone who's belief says otherwise will probably not "get" my point, and that's ok. I'd rather have the true expression of my children's personalities (talents and all!), that that which is expressed by processing through their autism-damaged brain. I LOVE my children as who they are, JUST as they are...but I see frustration on their part in dealing with communication issues, not understanding HOW to get their point across, etc. This disorder is NOT just difficult for us as parents to handle...it's that much more difficult for those who experience it! Would I trade hyperlexia for a son who could TALK to me and have a conversation? YES!!! None of the talents I see in either of my children (and they are MANY) are things that are not possible in an NT child. Artistic? Lots of artistic NT kids. Imaginative? Yup. Good with letters and numbers? Sure. High intelligence? Of course. So, I am NOT convinced that these ASD kids are all the GOOD things they are BECAUSE of the ASD. In my thinking, just IMAGINE how much more they could do and be without the disability of autism!Mina Creative Designs by Minahttp://www.minasmol.etsy.com On Sep 9, 2008, at 11:29 AM, kellystar734 wrote: > If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves,>>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the other that has HFA.

[Guest guest]

, I think you nailed it. I am guessing that all the parents on

this list basically want one thing...that their child grows up to be

able to take care of themselves and live independently. This is more

attainable for some and not possible for others. For the non-college

bound, it is a scarier proposition, because services such as they have

had at school are no longer there. And college and higher education

brings with it a whole range of problems.

Jobs, driving, relationships seem to loom as larger hurdles. Getting

in trouble at this age can bring up the prospect of jail rather than

suspension...

This has been my experience for DS, 23.

Sue in TN

>

> From: Roxanna <madideas@...>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: " I don't want to be cured " (my

son about

> 'cure autism now')

>

> Date: Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 7:36 PM

>

> I am not saying that they are not wonderful kids or that they cannot be

> special in any way. My kids are extremely special to me. And I do

not say

> that they cannot go forward in life and do things, because everyone

can do

> something, IMO. I do not equate autism with who they are so I don't

make

> distinctions like that. Each person has the capacity to excel at

something.

> To me, having autism limits the choices that many kids will have.

How much

> these choices are limited depends on how incapacitating the autism

is. I

> see the individual first and then the autism is there lurking and

causing

> problems. There are good things and bad things about my kids and

that is

> beyond what autism is and is not. It is who they are. Autism causes

> specific problems. In no DSM does it give autism credit for things

and I am

> not sure why other people do that. If a child is extra intelligent

- why

> should we say it's because they have AS? Why can't they just be really

> smart because they are really smart? I know my 11 yo is a genius due to

> test scores but I do attribute that to having autism in the least!

He is

> that smart because he's a smart kid! If he didn't have autism, he'd

be that

> smart still. Why wouldn't he be?

>

>

>

> I CAN see someone doing something 401 times before succeeding that

is not

> AS. He could be OCD. He could be a genius who works to do

something he can

> see happening in his mind (obviously, he was!) There is no reason

to say it

> means a person has AS at all. Do only people with AS have a drive

to find

> an answer? Do only people with AS have the ability to follow a plan to

> completion no matter how long it takes them? Do only people with AS

have

> limited interests? Only people with AS did all great things out

there? Of

> course that is not true. Neither is it true that all these dead

people had

> AS just because they did something famous. At the least, it is pretty

> unfair to dx someone who is not even here to defend themselves or

refute the

> allegations. Maybe some of these folks would like to take the

credit for

> their discoveries on their own and not hand the credit off to a

disability

> that they probably don't even have.

>

>

>

> I suppose you can say we are " all " quirky, something that is true, but

> autism and AS are not the same thing as having some quirks. If that

were

> true, we wouldn't have a name for it. Why would we if it is so

common as to

> happen to all of us? But this is different that just being quirky.

This is

> a disability. The words used to dx this are words like " severe

impairment "

> - not just a " little quirk. " It's been one the biggest problems I

have seen

> in the years on my list - parents having problems getting other people

> (mostly school personnel, sometimes docs, parents and neighbors) to

> appreciate that their child has real and serious needs. Some cannot

even

> get sped services provided because the staff will not appreciate the

> distinction between a quirk and a severe impairment.

>

>

>

> Once in a meeting for middle school for our ds, I would say our ds

needed

> help keeping organized and this staff member would laugh and say,

" Oh don't

> we all! " I'd tell them he needed help whenever he had to write

stories or

> that he would shut down if he was overwhelmed. She'd snort away and say

> comments like, " Don't all teens do the same thing! " and " I wish someone

> would provide a 1-1 to help ME with that problem! " or " All boys

this age

> have that problem! " as if we were just parents unable to realize the

> development quirks of teen boys. I really hated that lady the most,

lol.

> She made all of our concerns seem insignificant and belittled the

needs of

> our ds, who was not getting the help he needed. We had to get a

lawyer to

> fix their attitude problem and get them to take his needs seriously

in the

> end. And she learned to shut up during meetings (meetings with me

> anyway...) ugh.

>

>

>

> I would also add that saying " life isn't easy for most people

anyway " to be

> such a huge understatement in relative comparison to the world of

autism.

> This is not a case where someone just has to work harder to achieve.

> Autistic people are not just autistic due to lack of effort to overcome

> their problems. I've also not seen this wonderful side of autism at

all -

> autism that hands out wonderful traits and gifts and has just a few

little

> glitches attached. Autism stinks. I want people to not like the

word, to

> want to find a cure, to work harder to help eliminate autism altogether.

> Then my kids, and other kids affected by the disability of autism, could

> finally go as far as they can dream to go, without being impeded by a

> disability called " autism. "

>

>

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

>

> ( ) Re: " I don't want to be cured " (my son about

> 'cure autism now')

>

>

>

>

> I've been called autistic too. I guess we all may have some traits.

What I

> wished the most is that the term 'autism' did not have any negative

> connotation, that our kids could say with confidence, " I have

autism, I have

> particular needs and characteristics related that, and I also have great

> gifts associated to it... so if you are willing to know me well,

you'll see

> how great I am " . I don't pretend to deny all the hardships

associated with

> it, but life isn't easy for most people anyway. I've made it a point to

> speak about autism without any negative connotation. I don't accept any

> 'poor boy' about my son from any of my friends or co-workers, and I have

> tried to educate them about the issue. My son is sweet, smart,

funny, and

> quirky, and I love him for every bit of that, including his quirks and

> limitations.

>

>

>

> I truly believe that all these kids can become good at something

> extraordinary. There must be several Edisons among our children (you may

> disagree with Dxing people long dead, but when someone tried 401 times

> before succeding with the incandescent bulb like Edison did... boy I

have a

> hard time explaining such persistence from an otherwise NT

individual!) ;

> and I'm sure there are very many among our children that will be great

> doctors, facsinated with just one health problem, and great firefighters

> interested in anything that can be done to prevent fires, and great

bakers

> so interested in cookies that they are capable of making the best

chocolate

> chip cookie in the entire city, and great landscapers, or great

inventors,

> or engineers fascinated with how to balance a beam in a particular

type of

> structure, or great pianists, or some of the best of train

photographers, or

> the foremost expert in transportation. ..

>

>

>

> I'm sorry, but I can only believe that despite all our struggles,

and all

> their suffering, there is a bright future for them, that the key is

to help

> them cope with and alliviate their handicaps, and excell at whatever

their

> narrow interests allows them too. And they may always be quirky... and

> that's perfect. We all are quirky. Caetano Veloso, a famous

Brazilian singer

> and songwriter says: " no one is normal from a close distance " .

>

>

>

> Thanks and have a great day. F

>

>

>

> _____

>

>

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> 6:00 AM

>

> _____

>

>

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9/10/2008

> 6:00 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Absolutely, Rose.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Rose

Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008

11:25 AM

Subject: Re: ( )

" I don't want to be cured " (my son about 'cure autism now')

Mina, Just love you last sentence. I think about that all the

time. those exact words.

I look at my son and see how much interest he has in the things,

subjects and sports he likes so much and he puts his all into each one of

them. He learns so much about them because of his strong interest.

I always wonder, If he didn't have autism - Imagine how much more he could do

without the disability of autism holding him back....

Rose

Mina Smolinski

<minablackcatsystems> wrote:

Um, no, that's not exactly what I was saying at all. I do NOT

credit ASD with any of the wonderful traits and talents my children have.

My children are highly intelligent...not because they are HFA, but

because THEY are intelligent. My son is highly artistic...as is

my own brother, who is NOT ASD. My son Owen is very good with letters and

numbers, and pattern relationships...I also was good at these things as a

child (I had an effortless time learning to read...my teacher in school ask me

how I did it and I told her " You just put the letters together and they

make words. " ). My husband and I BOTH have IQ's in the genius

range...his just a few points higher than mine. Therefore, it's not

terribly odd that we would have very intelligent children, as well. Both

my NT kiddos seem to have quite high intelligence as well...in fact the baby

(NT girl) seems VERY smart.

And, actually, part of the reason for MY particular point of view may

be my faith...I don't think that our BRAINS are the central point of our

personality...they are just an organ for organizing, sorting, and

processing that which is produced by our SPIRITS, which is US. So, anyone

who's belief says otherwise will probably not " get " my point, and

that's ok. I'd rather have the true expression of my children's

personalities (talents and all!), that that which is expressed by processing

through their autism-damaged brain. I LOVE my children as who they are,

JUST as they are...but I see frustration on their part in dealing with communication

issues, not understanding HOW to get their point across, etc. This

disorder is NOT just difficult for us as parents to handle...it's that

much more difficult for those who experience it! Would I trade hyperlexia

for a son who could TALK to me and have a conversation? YES!!!

None of the talents I see in either of my children (and they are MANY)

are things that are not possible in an NT child. Artistic? Lots of

artistic NT kids. Imaginative? Yup. Good with letters and

numbers? Sure. High intelligence? Of course. So, I am

NOT convinced that these ASD kids are all the GOOD things they are BECAUSE of

the ASD. In my thinking, just IMAGINE how much more they could do and be

without the disability of autism!

Mina

Creative Designs by

Mina

http://www.minasmol.etsy.com

On Sep 9, 2008, at 11:29 AM, kellystar734 wrote:

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the < /SPAN>

> opportunity to know who they REALLY are

without the filter of the

> autistic brain getting in the way. They

will be MORE

>themselves,>>>>>>

So the way I read this and others might also

is that you want your boys

to be 'Typical'?

I sure don't want my children to be 'typical'

and be like the rest of

society as then everything would be BORING.

Marj

mom to 2 terrific children one which has

Aspergers and the

other that has HFA.

[Guest guest]

,

I didn't say it was a separate part of them. I just said we shouldn't give autism credit for our children's good attributes.

I also think it's ok to have a child without autism as you can set limits and keep them from hanging out in the evening with bad influences. I'm not sure where the pedophile came in the picture, lol, but you could work on that whether the child has autism or doesn't have autism. I don't think that would be a deciding factor in whether you could teach your son properly or not.

Hmmm, why do we do this conversation so often? It always gets twisted up this way. I can't wait for Pam to get back from vacation. I need a vacation. lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves, >>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the other that has HFA.

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[Guest guest]

It's late and I'm tired but wanted to finish reading some more post. So, not to be funny or hurt feelings. but this reminds me of the game we use to play as kids. It's called telephone. Maybe some of you heard or played this game. you get a bunch of kids and sit in a circle. the more kids that play, the better. the first kid will whisper a sentence into the child's ear that is to his/her left. then that child will whisper that same sentence to the next child on their left. then that one will also do that same thing until all the children heard that same sentence. BUT that last child has to say that whole sentence out loud and boy has that sentence changed. it was nothing like the first sentence. kind of like what we're doing here. Well if anyone is offended, I'm sorry, but it was a tough

day... If you heard of this game called ' telephone ' you might also find this funny too. That's what I was thinking of when I read this last post for the night... Rose Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: , I didn't say it was a separate part of them. I just said we shouldn't give autism credit for our children's good attributes.

I also think it's ok to have a child without autism as you can set limits and keep them from hanging out in the evening with bad influences. I'm not sure where the pedophile came in the picture, lol, but you could work on that whether the child has autism or doesn't have autism. I don't think that would be a deciding factor in whether you could teach your son properly or not. Hmmm, why do we do this conversation so often? It always gets twisted up this way. I can't wait for Pam to get back from vacation. I need a vacation. lol. RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone

else... Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now') > If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves, >>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the

other that has HFA. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.19/1664 - Release Date: 9/10/2008 6:00 AM Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo.se/c-169901-resor-biljetter.html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.20/1666 - Release Date: 9/11/2008 7:03 AM

[Guest guest]

Hee hee. It fits!!! Certain subjects seem to bring this game out.

Robin

,

I didn't say it was a separate part of them. I just said we shouldn't give autism credit for our children's good attributes.

I also think it's ok to have a child without autism as you can set limits and keep them from hanging out in the evening with bad influences. I'm not sure where the pedophile came in the picture, lol, but you could work on that whether the child has autism or doesn't have autism. I don't think that would be a deciding factor in whether you could teach your son properly or not.

Hmmm, why do we do this conversation so often? It always gets twisted up this way. I can't wait for Pam to get back from vacation. I need a vacation. lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves, >>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the other that has HFA.

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[Guest guest]

That is the truth! I was thinking last night that i should just copy and paste my posts. lol.

I can say that over the years, we do rehash all the same subjects over and over again. I have been used to that. New people come and go and with them, all the same concerns and worries and questions come and go with them. But you know, we just had this very discussion just a few weeks ago! We did not agree then either! It's becoming relentless and I wonder if it's the position of the moon, if people did not see it last time? If they did but decided now to discuss it this time? Who knows?

I just think it's funny/ironic/frustrating. Now I am picturing all of us sitting in a circle and sending our message around! lol. Pretty soon, it will be said that one of us feels autism is an extra appendage hanging on behind each child or something weird and science fiction-ish like that! lol. Or that we think our kids have 2 personalities... Who knows what we can come up with here? My brain doesn't work as good in the morning so I can't come up with anything wilder than this for now. I bet someone could, though. lol. Ack! Back to life...

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) "I don't want to be cured" (my son about 'cure autism now')

> If my boys were actually cured of autism, I believe I'd have the > opportunity to know who they REALLY are without the filter of the > autistic brain getting in the way. They will be MORE >themselves, >>>>>>So the way I read this and others might also is that you want your boys to be 'Typical'?I sure don't want my children to be 'typical' and be like the rest of society as then everything would be BORING.Marjmom to 2 terrific children one which has Aspergers and the other that has HFA.

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