How old does a child have to be to understand dx?

June 2, 2009

My seven year old knows he takes meds for anger and mood swings. He knows he is

trying a new med to help him focus. He does not know he has bipolar, ADHD, and

now Asperger's. I talk to him about his social difficulties and emotional

difficulties, but I hesitate to label them, because I don't want him to feel

anymore different than he already does. But since he does feel different would

it be better to explain the dx so he knows there is an actual reason for it, and

not just because " he is wrong " (as opposed to " something is wrong " )? And even

then, I don't want him to think he is less than a person b/c he has a dx, you

know?--ginger

June 2, 2009

>

> My seven year old knows he takes meds for anger and mood swings. He knows he

is trying a new med to help him focus. He does not know he has bipolar, ADHD,

and now Asperger's. I talk to him about his social difficulties and emotional

difficulties, but I hesitate to label them, because I don't want him to feel

anymore different than he already does. But since he does feel different would

it be better to explain the dx so he knows there is an actual reason for it, and

not just because " he is wrong " (as opposed to " something is wrong " )? And even

then, I don't want him to think he is less than a person b/c he has a dx, you

know?--ginger

I don't know if it is the age that is the factor as much as there being a

reason. What would he get out of it? I'm not sure a 7yo would even be able to

understand what it means to have a dx beyond explaining he has certain symptoms,

which he already knows. The rule of thumb I have always been given is to let

the child take the lead. That is, when he starts asking questions, that is when

you talk about it. With an ASD child, since they often don't have good

question-asking skills, I would add to watch for frustration that could be

helped by some knowledge. One thing to consider when your child is so young is

that the dx may be wrong. The bipolar especially, as that is mainly an adult

illness and there is no way your son's dx at such a young age is in any way

conclusive. The ADHD symptoms could be executive dysfunction associated with

the Asperger Disorder. In any case, at least in my state, he doesn't have to

start attending IEP meetings until he is 16, so you have some time. I think

this is all very individual though. My son is 14 and just in the past several

months has started to kinda be able to talk about what he calls his Asperger.

But I hear of other kids who are comfortable much younger.

Ruth

June 2, 2009

We explained it

to my son at 8. Read the chapter in Tony Attwood’s latest (approx 2007)

book on AS about how to tell your kid their dx. We followed it pretty much

word-for-word, basically you end up congratulating him for having AS because it

means he’s different and “it’s cool to be different”.

Tony even wrote a message in the book addressed to my son when I bought it, to

that effect. Focus on his strengths

– his special interests, the things he is good at, the things he finds

easier than the other kids do. But read the section in the book, and talk

about your own strengths and challenges that you each have when you talk to him

so he doesn’t think it’s just him.

HTH. Bottom

line, tell him it means ‘he’s smart’!

Miss G.

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of gngrbnks

Sent: Wednesday, 3 June 2009 2:43

AM

To:

Subject: ( ) How

old does a child have to be to understand dx?

My seven year old knows he takes meds for anger and

mood swings. He knows he is trying a new med to help him focus. He does not

know he has bipolar, ADHD, and now Asperger's. I talk to him about his social difficulties

and emotional difficulties, but I hesitate to label them, because I don't want

him to feel anymore different than he already does. But since he does feel

different would it be better to explain the dx so he knows there is an actual

reason for it, and not just because " he is wrong " (as opposed to

" something is wrong " )? And even then, I don't want him to think he is

less than a person b/c he has a dx, you know?--ginger

June 3, 2009

Yes, I would tell him the names for the problems. Identify problems and explain why in a matter of fact way. There are books out there to discuss AS. You might try one of those. We did not know how to face this situation with my older ds. He seemed really happy and relieved to know there was a name for it all when we finally did. With my younger ds, we have just always said "autism" in conversation and it is just a matter of fact that he has always known. It takes away the mystery. Most kids will fill in the blanks with their imagination if they don't have facts.