Son very depressed

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone....I just need a hug....

I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and

very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed

he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an

only child and that makes it harder....

I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't

pick out his clothes,

says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a

pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won't go

for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...

He said he is done with all his " friends " ...he gets hurt all the

time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there

either...

I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this

summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and

then dealing with homework and all that.

My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and

doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to

do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with

him. Ugh! How depressing.

Jan

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi everyone....I just need a hug....

> I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and

> very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but

claimed

> he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an

> only child and that makes it harder....

>

> I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't

> pick out his clothes,

> says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a

> pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won't go

> for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...

>

> He said he is done with all his " friends " ...he gets hurt all the

> time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there

> either...

>

> I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much

this

> summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and

> then dealing with homework and all that.

>

> My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and

> doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want

to

> do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with

> him. Ugh! How depressing.

>

> Jan

Hi Jan. I know exactly how you feel. My son is 7 and is constantly

getting knock backs from friends and gets deeply hurt but only shows

it really in anger. He is very possessive over friends but he really

cares for the few he has.I feel it so personally and sometimes even

more than he does I think. He gets very low and will not go out and

will never consider out of school activities so I understand where

you are coming from.I get bored and lonely as it is just us two and

he is very clingy but there is not much I can do but I get him out

when I can. Good luck with it!

>

[Guest guest]

Jan,,,,

I'm so sorry.

Not much to say to help. Just sorry.

Hopefully, someone here will have a miracle cure......

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Son very depressed Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an only child and that makes it harder....I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't pick out his clothes,says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...He said he is done with all his "friends"... he gets hurt all the time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there either...I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and then dealing with homework and all that.My use to be

girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with him. Ugh! How depressing. Jan

[Guest guest]

jan,

it does get depressing raising our kids, especially when they desparately want

friends and cannot find or keep them. I am sending lots of cyber hugs. but I

also have a few suggestions. If you can find a support group and make friends

with even one Mom who understands, it really helps. I am very fortunate because

one of the paras that worked in my classroom for two years has a 14yo daughter

who is also diagnosed with Aspergers. It has helped to have one to share Aspie

moments with . We see each other at school each day. And we have coffee

together at least once a week. I guess I am fortunate that my boys have never

been so intent on always being with friends. I guess that is because their dad

has always gotten interested in what they are and is their buddy. He has

learned to play Yu-Gi-Oh and plays with them and takes them to tournaments. He

has played Pokemon and watched Pokemom movies with our youngest. Sam (17) got

involved with the Anime club at the high school last year and has made friends

that way. He doesn't hang out with them all the time, but they eat together at

school, meet once a week, and share pictures, and music online. Their dad also

works with both boys on their computer interests. Sam is into photography and

editing photos. He has learned to make collages and is selling them for his

Anime club and to make some money. He is also planning to make them for

Christmas presents for the family.

Mack (16) is really into his Wii, so Dad plays that with him, too. One thing

that happened after Mack spent 16 months in a residential facility for violent

behavior is that Sam realized how much he missed him. Now they are actually

friends. Mack started high school this year and Sam took him to the Anime club

and introduced him to friends. Mack still has trouble with social skills, but

all of the kids in the club are rather eccentric. So, when they come over my

husband and I often mention that they are rather weird. Then we laugh as we

realize that our boys are weird to outsiders, too and " birds of a feather flock

together. " Our boys know that our house is the gathering place because we are

very strict to not let them run the streets or go to anyone's house if we do not

know the family well.

So, I guess my best advice is to try and find other children more like your

son. That has worked best for us. We have had to accept that they do not and

may never fit in with NT kids. But other kids with brain damage can be good

friends. It requires more supervision on our part because all of them have less

developed social skills.

I don't know if you have any other kids around you to form a social group for

your son, but this has worked for us.

Believe me, I know that it is hard. Sometimes we get more depressed than we

need to be about our kids lack of friends. Just try to get him interested in

activities that he can do alone. I'm not saying that he will never have

friends, but it is important for all of us to have activities to do alone. Some

of the things we have done with the boys is making jewelry - get things that

boys like - skulls, animal charms, shark teeth, etc. They enjoy making

necklaces, bracelets, ets. We have done clay and made pots and sculptures. You

can get clay that dries in the oven.

As for homework, I know that battle. We started school on August 13 and

surprisingly it has not been as much of a battle as other years. At least we

only have verbal and not physical aggression. It sometimes takes hours,l but we

split it up with breaks for snacks, dinner, video games, showers, etc. I also

have reached a point where I think that one hour of homework is enough, even for

my high school students. We break it up into 15 minute segments. If they work

well during 4 segments, then I think it is enough. if they understand what they

are doing, why do hours and it they don't understand why beat your head and

theirs into the wall? So, then I email the teachers and explain why we stopped

if we did not finish and then whether they understood the concepts. It has

really helped to have a time limit and let them know that there is an end in

sight.

Sure hope this helps. I know it can be hard.

Donna

---- and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

> Jan,,,,

> I'm so sorry.

> Not much to say to help.  Just sorry.

> Hopefully, someone here will have a miracle cure......

> Robin

>

>

>

> From: jrushen <jrushen@...>

> Subject: ( ) Son very depressed

>

> Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....

> I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and

> very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed

> he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an

> only child and that makes it harder....

>

> I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't

> pick out his clothes,

> says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a

> pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go

> for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...

>

> He said he is done with all his " friends " ... he gets hurt all the

> time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there

> either...

>

> I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this

> summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and

> then dealing with homework and all that.

>

> My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and

> doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to

> do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with

> him. Ugh! How depressing.

>

> Jan

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>

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>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

donna...robin....

thanks for your hugs! It worked....thank you thank you. I didn't realize how rough the first day was and How burnt out I was because it was also my first day back. Today, 2nd day was a little better. And, would you beleive came home HAPPY AND EXCITED. He had a GREAT day...this is the first time ever since kindergarten. He says in science they are going to dissect a frog and he is so excited. And, his science teacher apologized to him....he said he had a stressful day....that was nice and david thanked him. Now they are thinking of moving from this Blue group to the white group becaue the science and social studies is not pull out...but he really doens't need pull out for those 2 subjects as long as the teacher follow his IEP....so I emailed the supervisor of SpEd. in his school and the guidance counselor explaining how difficult this move might be on him as he doesn't do well with change....and the supervisor emailed me right back

and said that they would talk about it first b4 doing anything and I told them I would be happy to sign the changes. I just want my son to stay as Excited as he is....

I have a feeling we won't have much homework this year as most of his classes are pull out ....I really don't beleive in too much homework especially for our kids... is gone from 7:40 to 3:40 and he is burnt out by the time he comes home....they have no time to chill. they have to eat dinner and shower and get clothes out for the next day and do it all over again. I know I am exhausted these 2 days and I basically done nothing but look at his papers to be signed and read my emails. that is it!

His friend apologized to him...he said he was having a bad day. Of course, my son accepted. He loves friends and people. He never holds a grudge for more than a day....usually it lasts 1 hour. Ha Ha! He is very very social....which is why I sometimes question his DX but he has a lot of the other symptoms.....which make it hard to have and keep friends.

does like working with clay. I wish his dad would do some of this stuff with him. He loves Xbox and plays it live with a 13 yearold boy in Florida who has ADD....they are a perfect match.

I know what you mean about finding those special friends and he does have 2. Both in the neighborhood...both are small for their age....one is more shy especially around kids his age and the other is tiny and on the quiet side and is not allowed ot play very much because he has to babysit his brother and sister.

Thanks for everything. You guys are the gREATEsT! I would not be sane or somewhat sane without you. God Bless.

Hugs to all of you.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

> > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>> Subject:

( ) Son very depressed> > Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM> > > > > > > Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....> I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and > very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed > he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an > only child and that makes it harder....> > I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't > pick out his clothes,> says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a > pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go > for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...> > He said he is done with all

his "friends"... he gets hurt all the > time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there > either...> > I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this > summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and > then dealing with homework and all that.> > My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and > doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to > do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with > him. Ugh! How depressing. > > Jan> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

That would be great! And even better if one of our kids discovered it!!! EH! I will tell my son....he is so excited about dissecting a frog! Maybe he will go into the science world. Ha ha!!!

Love Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Son very depressed Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an only child and that makes it harder....I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't pick out his clothes,says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...He said he is done with all his "friends"... he gets hurt all the time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there either...I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and then dealing with homework and all that.My use to be

girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with him. Ugh! How depressing. Jan

[Guest guest]

Glad the hugs helped. I have plenty of time to give them right now as we are

evacuated from Hurricane Gustav. I am in a hotel room in Little Rock Arkansas

all day with two boys while my husband is at work. At least they have their

computer and game systems to keep them busy.

Donna

---- rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

> donna...robin....

>  

> thanks for your hugs! It worked....thank you thank you. I didn't realize how

rough the first day was and How burnt out I was because it was also my first day

back.  Today, 2nd day was a little better. And, would you beleive came

home HAPPY AND EXCITED. He had a GREAT day...this is the first time ever since

kindergarten. He says in science they are going to dissect a frog and he is so

excited. And, his science teacher apologized to him....he said he had a

stressful day....that was nice and david thanked him. Now they are thinking of

moving from this Blue group to the white group becaue the science and

social studies is not pull out...but he really doens't need pull out for those 2

subjects as long as the teacher follow his IEP....so I emailed the supervisor of

SpEd. in his school and the guidance counselor explaining how difficult this

move might be on him as he doesn't do well with change....and the supervisor

emailed me right back and said

> that they would talk about it first b4 doing anything and I told them I would

be happy to sign the changes. I just want my son to stay as Excited as he is....

>  

> I have a feeling we won't have much homework this year as most of his classes

are pull out ....I really don't beleive in too much homework especially for our

kids... is gone from 7:40 to 3:40 and he is burnt out by the time he comes

home....they have no time to chill.  they have to eat dinner and shower and get

clothes out for the next day and do it all over again. I know I am exhausted

these 2 days and I basically done nothing but look at his papers to be signed

and read my emails. that is it!

>  

> His friend apologized to him...he said he was having a bad day. Of course, my

son accepted. He loves friends and people. He never holds a grudge for more than

a day....usually it lasts 1 hour. Ha Ha! He is very very social....which is why

I sometimes question his DX but he has a lot of the other symptoms.....which

make it hard to have and keep friends.

>  

> does like working with clay. I wish his dad would do some of this stuff

with him. He loves Xbox and plays it live with a 13 yearold boy in Florida who

has ADD....they are a perfect match.

>  

> I know what you mean about finding those special friends and he does have 2.

Both in the neighborhood...both are small for their age....one is more shy

especially around kids his age and the other is tiny and on the quiet side and

is not allowed ot play very much because he has to babysit his brother and

sister.

>  

> Thanks for everything. You guys are the gREATEsT! I would not be sane or

somewhat sane without you. God Bless.

>  

> Hugs to all of you.

>  

> Jan

>

>

>  Jan Rushen

> Smile because it is contagious!!!!

>  

>  

>

>

> >

> > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>

> > Subject: ( ) Son very depressed

> >

> > Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....

> > I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and

> > very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed

> > he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an

> > only child and that makes it harder....

> >

> > I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't

> > pick out his clothes,

> > says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a

> > pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go

> > for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...

> >

> > He said he is done with all his " friends " ... he gets hurt all the

> > time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there

> > either...

> >

> > I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this

> > summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and

> > then dealing with homework and all that.

> >

> > My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and

> > doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to

> > do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with

> > him. Ugh! How depressing.

> >

> > Jan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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> >

> >

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[Guest guest]

Hi Jan

Sorry you had such a bad day and I am sending you a bunch of hugs and

kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I am so happy for david let him know that collin went the first day

too and had a great day. I have a quick question for ya, what do you

mean by david has alot of pull out classes so he wont have much

homework? What are pullout classes???? Let me know what you mean by

that. thanks , your friend gina XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO

-- In , rushen janice <jrushen@...>

wrote:

>

> donna...robin....

>  

> thanks for your hugs! It worked....thank you thank you. I didn't

realize how rough the first day was and How burnt out I was because

it was also my first day back.  Today, 2nd day was a little better.

And, would you beleive came home HAPPY AND EXCITED. He had a

GREAT day...this is the first time ever since kindergarten. He says

in science they are going to dissect a frog and he is so excited.

And, his science teacher apologized to him....he said he had a

stressful day....that was nice and david thanked him. Now they are

thinking of moving from this Blue group to the white group

becaue the science and social studies is not pull out...but he really

doens't need pull out for those 2 subjects as long as the teacher

follow his IEP....so I emailed the supervisor of SpEd. in his school

and the guidance counselor explaining how difficult this move might

be on him as he doesn't do well with change....and the supervisor

emailed me right back and said

> that they would talk about it first b4 doing anything and I told

them I would be happy to sign the changes. I just want my son to stay

as Excited as he is....

>  

> I have a feeling we won't have much homework this year as most of

his classes are pull out ....I really don't beleive in too much

homework especially for our kids... is gone from 7:40 to 3:40

and he is burnt out by the time he comes home....they have no time to

chill.  they have to eat dinner and shower and get clothes out for

the next day and do it all over again. I know I am exhausted these 2

days and I basically done nothing but look at his papers to be signed

and read my emails. that is it!

>  

> His friend apologized to him...he said he was having a bad day. Of

course, my son accepted. He loves friends and people. He never holds

a grudge for more than a day....usually it lasts 1 hour. Ha Ha! He is

very very social....which is why I sometimes question his DX but he

has a lot of the other symptoms.....which make it hard to have and

keep friends.

>  

> does like working with clay. I wish his dad would do some of

this stuff with him. He loves Xbox and plays it live with a 13

yearold boy in Florida who has ADD....they are a perfect match.

>  

> I know what you mean about finding those special friends and he

does have 2. Both in the neighborhood...both are small for their

age....one is more shy especially around kids his age and the other

is tiny and on the quiet side and is not allowed ot play very much

because he has to babysit his brother and sister.

>  

> Thanks for everything. You guys are the gREATEsT! I would not be

sane or somewhat sane without you. God Bless.

>  

> Hugs to all of you.

>  

> Jan

>

>

>  Jan Rushen

> Smile because it is contagious!!!!

>  

>  

>

>

> >

> > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>

> > Subject: ( ) Son very depressed

> >

> > Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....

> > I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself

and

> > very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but

claimed

> > he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an

> > only child and that makes it harder....

> >

> > I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't

> > pick out his clothes,

> > says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a

> > pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t

go

> > for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...

> >

> > He said he is done with all his " friends " ... he gets hurt all the

> > time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there

> > either...

> >

> > I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much

this

> > summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long

and

> > then dealing with homework and all that.

> >

> > My use to be girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and

> > doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want

to

> > do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it

with

> > him. Ugh! How depressing.

> >

> > Jan

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm SOOOO glad you both had a better 2nd day.

Ahhh.......the ups and downs.......gotta love em, right? Well,,,,,at least enjoy with open arms and mind the good days.

So glad.

Robin

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Son very depressed Date: Monday, September 1, 2008, 2:48 PM

Hi everyone.... I just need a hug....I feel so bad for my son...he is lonely and hanging by himself and very depressed. He rode his bike over to 's but claimed he could not play....so he came back home all depressed. He is an only child and that makes it harder....I think part of his depression is worrying about school. He won't pick out his clothes,says he is not taking his backpack the first day...just a pencil....he has been in his room all down in the dumps...won' t go for a walk or bike ride...would not go to the mall with me...He said he is done with all his "friends"... he gets hurt all the time. I don't know where Shane is or if something happened there either...I go back tomorrow too and I feel down too! Not that I did much this summer but now I have to get up at 5:15 am and the day is long and then dealing with homework and all that.My use to be

girlfriend ....her kids are in football and band and doing all kinds of things...and we sit here...my son doesn't want to do things w/o a friend and no one is around or wants to do it with him. Ugh! How depressing. Jan