Re: need to find other aspies to relate to

[Guest guest]

Melody

Where are you located? My daughter is 9 years od and has AS. Shouldn't

your school district provide services? My daughter has an IEP (since

kindergarten) and gets speech therapy and OT, social work services.

Thanks,

Bridgette

>

> my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year,

she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been

changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social

groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old

for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades,

she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional center.

i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long

way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

>

> regards, melody

>

[Guest guest]

Melody my daughter rejects any DX as a negative judgement.

If she thinks I think she has any DX she says " I'm going to

have to run away from you because you think I am wierd " .

Such a different prespective.

If your daughter wanted to talk about her DX then maybe a

therapist could help you to connect to another girl.

You would have to initiate this. My daughter had a playmate

once a week in K, 1 and 2nd thru a therapist and it was at

her office. My daughter doesn't want anything like this.

I think you wrote your daughter was in a social skill class

or do I remember wrong.

Melody what are your daughter's interests? My daughter is 11.

If your daughter wanted a penpal they could write to my daughter

on . My daughter has a account. My daughter would likely

write about animals, nature being a 5th grader. She would write about going to

our campground. She would write nothing about AS, therapy, medication all of

which she finds too personal.

People usually say to connect our kidos around their special

interests.

My daughter this summer is signed up for a half day gardening

camp. Very low key and only a few days a week. It is not a

aspie group so it is likely she won't connect to any of the

kids even though she wants to.

Are you close to a YMCA, you could pay for an aide to help

her connect to others. This has been hard for me to set up

for my daughter. Because my daughter doesn't want to stay

in these programs.

I did set my daughter up with a girl with a DX of AS guess

what happened ...my daughter did not share the younger

girls interest in fairies and the younger girl was

afraid of American Girl dolls. I felt so very bad because

the younger girl liked my daughter and wanted her over so

bad. (tears for the younger girl) I felt so bad for the younger

girl. But this happened to my daughter with an older AS girl.

My daughter loved the older girl but the older girl didn't

like my daughter's silly behavior. I wonder if these kids

need to be set up with typical peers that can be flexible.

Two inflexible kids is difficult to sustain.

My daughter loves younger typical girls around age 5-7.

Especially if they are very social.

We joined a RV campground so our daughter can be around a lot

of kids at the pool and there are many special events.

Saturday nights there is a dance party (chicken dance, hokey pokey stuff) and it

is a chance to be included. The younger girls

seem to connect to my daughter and she can take a role as

a big sister.

Tells us more about your daughter's interests.

Pam

>

> my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year,

she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been

changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social

groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old

for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades,

she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional center.

i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long

way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

>

> regards, melody

>

[Guest guest]

We are in fresno, California. She has an iep for speech

therapy, has had for years. But the aspie diag, she only received in jan of

this year. having an iep mtg on june 5. Trying to premeet with various

parties. As I speak with them, I am hearing already a lot of no’s. since she

is starting middle school next year, I am very concerned about crowded halls,

having enough time to get from class to class, pe and having everything in

writing for her (capd). So these are my intial goals at this meeting. I have

a phone call into the autism director. Wanted to premeet with her or at least

find out about the programs the school offers. I still have so much to learn

about services and what and how to ask for what she needs.

Regards, melody

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of bridgette_0419

Sent: Sunday, May 24, 2009 6:48 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: need to find other aspies to relate to

Melody

Where are you located? My daughter is 9 years od and has AS. Shouldn't

your school district provide services? My daughter has an IEP (since

kindergarten) and gets speech therapy and OT, social work services.

Thanks,

Bridgette

>

> my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this

year, she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has

been changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local

social groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is

too old for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good

grades, she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional

center. i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go

a long way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

>

> regards, melody

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you are on the ball....as far as crowded halls...she may be able to leave her classes a few minutes early in order to avoid the crowd and noise. Check into that! I do this with my student ....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Melody Kalomiris <mkalomiris@...>Subject: RE: ( ) Re: need to find other aspies to relate to Date: Sunday, May 24, 2009, 3:55 PM

We are in fresno, California. She has an iep for speech therapy, has had for years. But the aspie diag, she only received in jan of this year. having an iep mtg on june 5. Trying to premeet with various parties. As I speak with them, I am hearing already a lot of no’s. since she is starting middle school next year, I am very concerned about crowded halls, having enough time to get from class to class, pe and having everything in writing for her (capd). So these are my intial goals at this meeting. I have a phone call into the autism director. Wanted to premeet with her or at least find out about the programs the school offers. I still have so much to learn about services and what and how to ask for what she needs.

Regards, melody

From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of bridgette_0419Sent: Sunday, May 24, 2009 6:48 AM Subject: ( ) Re: need to find other aspies to relate to

MelodyWhere are you located? My daughter is 9 years od and has AS. Shouldn'tyour school district provide services? My daughter has an IEP (since kindergarten) and gets speech therapy and OT, social work services.Thanks,Bridgette>> my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year, she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades, she doesn't qualify for local services thru the

central valley regional center. i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?> > regards, melody>

[Guest guest]

Talk to the school guidance office....look on line...check out MH/MR and see if they know of any groups...or social services....sometimes colleges run groups...just keep asking anyone and eveyrone ....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Melody <mkalomiris@...>Subject: ( ) need to find other aspies to relate to Date: Saturday, May 23, 2009, 11:46 PM

my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year, she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades, she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional center. i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?regards, melody

[Guest guest]

good idea. i thought to ask them about either leaving early or arriving late

would be okay.

regards, melody

> >

> > my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year,

she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been

changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social

groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old

for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades,

she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional center.

i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long

way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

> >

> > regards, melody

> >

>

[Guest guest]

i never thought about calling the college. good idea. i will try that.

thx, melody

>

>

> From: Melody <mkalomiris@...>

> Subject: ( ) need to find other aspies to relate to

>

> Date: Saturday, May 23, 2009, 11:46 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this year,

she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has been

changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local social

groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is too old

for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good grades,

she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional center.

i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go a long

way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

>

> regards, melody

>

[Guest guest]

megan attends a social (only) group. there is usually only one other boy,

sometimes a girl. the boy is bipolar, temper issues, the girl just has major

family dysfunction. i get no feedback about what the leaders are trying to

accomplish but megan wants to go because she feels like these are her friends.

i will ask her therapist straight if she knows of other aspie girls that megan

could meet with. another great idea! again, i am learning so much here,

something so simple as what questions to ask. i guess i had assumed she would

offer this, given the fact that i have expressed megan's feelings of isolation.

megan's current focus is how to be a teen and fit in. there is alot of talk

about " dating " at her school and some of the girls and boys are dating, which

really consists of eating lunch together and sometimes hanging out at recess

together and it usually lasts one day to two weeks. she wants to instant

message, go to the mall, walk to the corner store or got to a movie with friends

have sleepovers. she attended cotillion this year which is a very structured

manners class in how to behave at school dances-culminating in boys and girls

dancing together. she loved that. she also likes video games, animal crossing,

legend of zelda. up until this phase, she focused on animals, in particular

birds. read everything she could get her hands on until there was nothing new

to read. we went to weekly bird watching groups until the sponsor went out of

business, she is a member of the local wildlife rehabers and attends monthly

meetings. has attended training and rehabed doves and ducks. this became lots

of work for me since she was in school during peak season and the animals needed

caring for every couple hours, so we won't be rehabing birds until she is much

older. when younger, she had a deep connection with nature, she seemed to just

know things. i was having trouble with a flower bed and mentioned it to her.

she went on got a ball pump and pushed the needle into the ground around the

flowers and started pushing air into the ground, she told me the flowers needed

air--turns out she was correct. she spent all her spare time outside just

hanging with the trees and butterflies and birds. i was in awe of her during

this period--am hoping she will return to this connection someday. for now, she

is too anxious about flies and parasites and mosquitos, etc and wanting to fit

it at school. puberty has been rough.

i want to join the rv campground group! it sounds like such fun, the dancing

the parties. when do you go to the rv campground? i had hoped to sign megan up

for the summer camp in how to be a vet, it filled up the day it opened for

enrollment, so looking into leadership groups at the river parkway trust

foundation. this teaches the kids how to care for the river and surrounding

vegetation and then help with the younger children plant and care for the area.

i appreciate your penpal offer. i will ask megan and let her know that as &

meds would be off limits.

warmest regards, melody

> >

> > my daughter megan, 12 yo, was diagnosed with aspergers in january this

year, she did not find out until march. her feelings about this diagnosis has

been changing but mostly she feels alone. there doesn't seem to be any local

social groups consisting of aspie kids, although i have called around. she is

too old for early intervention and since she can manage at school and gets good

grades, she doesn't qualify for local services thru the central valley regional

center. i can tell her there are more kids like her out there, but it would go

a long way if she could meet a few. any suggestions?

> >

> > regards, melody

> >

>