Teens and social situations

[Guest guest]

I come from a small town with little resources and help within the school

system. My son is 15 and has Aspergers, ADHD and he is dyslexic my family is

great but now that he is a teenager thing are so much more complicated. He is

little and shy, but he does have good friends but he still gets bullied at

school. He doesnt want us to talk to the school because he thinks it will make

things worse. I know that social skills are a big part of it and that he doesnt

stand up for himself but thats his nature. I just feel so lost in how i can help

get him through the next four years.

[Guest guest]

>

> He is little and shy, but he does have good friends but he still gets bullied

at school. He doesnt want us to talk to the school because he thinks it will

make things worse.

I'd like to give you some BTDT that might put your son's mind at ease (or at

least more so) and help him accept some help from the school with the bullying.

With all the privacy laws and all nowadays, the school will be very discreet

about it. As far as that goes, you and he could talk to the school and just

talk without anybody knowing. They could give him some options on what they

could maybe do to help and he could decide if it might work for him. If not, he

could walk away and nobody would be the wiser. The school could simply keep a

closer eye on the bullies and catch them in the act. Nobody would ever need to

know he " tattled " . And some of the " bullies " may be decent kids who just need

someone to talk to them and open up their eyes a little. My son was severely

bullied in 6th grade and we asked the school for help. They were very effective

in handling it and things got much better for my son. He was never retaliated

against, and it has been a couple of years.

In sum, I wouldn't blow getting help from the school just because your son is

uncomfortable with it. Rather, I would try to ease his mind. It will be good

for him to see how to get help like this. I think it really helped my son to

see me stand up for him and to know that teachers and school administrators were

taking the time to help him.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Hi, is the bullying just verbal/teasing or, and I hope not, is any of it

threatening? I understand his fear it would make things worse if he lets the

school know. In some instances, I have talked to the school and in others not.

We're small town too.

>

> I come from a small town with little resources and help within the school

system. My son is 15 and has Aspergers, ADHD and he is dyslexic my family is

great but now that he is a teenager thing are so much more complicated. He is

little and shy, but he does have good friends but he still gets bullied at

school. He doesnt want us to talk to the school because he thinks it will make

things worse. I

[Guest guest]

I agree 100%. You need to let the school know...and they can be discreet. They will keep their eyes open and be more aware of what is going on. I have personally seen this happen. There are 4 girls in our school that pick on kids...first it was one girl and now it is another...but we all keep our eyes open....they are very sneaky but the girl feels safer knowing we are quite aware of these girls. We don't tolerate any of this. I am always checking all the kids about this...are they okay? What is going on? Is so and so bothering you? etc. etc. I don't tolerate any of this nonsense. And, I have no problem telling a student about it and/or writing them up and reporting it. I was teased horribly in 6th grade ...so I know what it is like. You need to alert the school...your child sure not have to

suffer this abuse...it will affect him the rest of his life...do it now!

I've been there, suffered it and it is awful!!!!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Teens and social situations Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 2:48 PM

>> He is little and shy, but he does have good friends but he still gets bullied at school. He doesnt want us to talk to the school because he thinks it will make things worse. I'd like to give you some BTDT that might put your son's mind at ease (or at least more so) and help him accept some help from the school with the bullying. With all the privacy laws and all nowadays, the school will be very discreet about it. As far as that goes, you and he could talk to the school and just talk without anybody knowing. They could give him some options on what they could maybe do to help and he could decide if it might work for him. If not, he could walk away and nobody

would be the wiser. The school could simply keep a closer eye on the bullies and catch them in the act. Nobody would ever need to know he "tattled". And some of the "bullies" may be decent kids who just need someone to talk to them and open up their eyes a little. My son was severely bullied in 6th grade and we asked the school for help. They were very effective in handling it and things got much better for my son. He was never retaliated against, and it has been a couple of years.In sum, I wouldn't blow getting help from the school just because your son is uncomfortable with it. Rather, I would try to ease his mind. It will be good for him to see how to get help like this. I think it really helped my son to see me stand up for him and to know that teachers and school administrators were taking the time to help him.Ruth

[Guest guest]

First of all...you need to let the school know...teachers and monitors can keep an eye out for this...it is a must that you do this...don't let you son suffer from these cruel kids...I work in a high school and I always keep my eye open to this. I don't tolerate it. So, if the school is aware of it happening....they will keep a closer eye on your son and maybe catch them in the act. NO ONE deserves to be Bullied.

Next,,,,,would your son be interested in Karate or going to the weight room and building up. My son goes to the Y and works out in the gym...it has made him feel better about himself...and also make he less fearful of the other kids.

Just some thoughts

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: sandersnicole49 <sandersnicole49@...>Subject: ( ) Teens and social situations Date: Wednesday, May 6, 2009, 8:39 PM

I come from a small town with little resources and help within the school system. My son is 15 and has Aspergers, ADHD and he is dyslexic my family is great but now that he is a teenager thing are so much more complicated. He is little and shy, but he does have good friends but he still gets bullied at school. He doesnt want us to talk to the school because he thinks it will make things worse. I know that social skills are a big part of it and that he doesnt stand up for himself but thats his nature. I just feel so lost in how i can help get him through the next four years.