Re: Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Sherry, Jan, Ruth, Roxanna,

Why now? What is now happening that for so many years we've been fighting so hard for our kids including all the running around and expense. (don't forget the stress!) And the school saying we don't see it nor willing to give our children any type of help - Why now? I'm reading this with several post. 1st with Ruth - (I was so happy for her) yet.... She was shocked! - just like I am now. (we just had our CSE meeting) The same thing from many others from different states posting on this site. I think it's amazing (and very good) that we all are finally going to get the help we need.

I can't wait to hear from you in September to see how everything is working out for you all. and to hear from your children to see how their year went. (Yet, I don't want to rush this summer). LOL...

*This morning, I got a call from school that my son forgot his school bag if I can bring it in....no different from any other day with his poor organization. except now, they are going to work with this instead of saying, 'he needs a consequence' for when he forgets. geeeeee, why didn't I or the specialist ever suggest that? (being sarcastic!.) but now they have strategies to work with this....I'm shocked!. and it's on his IEP!!!!!!!

Rose

From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone@...> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 8:23:16 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

Hi i totally sympathize with you and all the run around you have gotten as i too have been there i recieved word at meeting on may 29 that my son now too will recieve supports and services at school when we return, we have yet to have iep but i met with the learning support teacher and the speech therapist principal and others and they really made me feel good, and i believe with all my heart that i finally have my son in a public school that will help him. sherry

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com> Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 5:39:46 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

>> Ruth, I have been getting such a run around and so many surprises & stress at these past CSE meetings that I can't believe things went this well and they are going to work with my son and now see what I've been trying to tell them. They actually wrote everything he needs. I still can't believe this!....> *Sorry for misunderstanding your last post to me. I just can't believe this IEP....It's like I'm waiting for someone to say this was a mistake and make changes....God I hope not.This is where I am at too. Scared to death the other shoe is going to drop LOL... (Do I have that right?) I can't believe we may actually be able to relax and enjoy the

summer!Ruth

[Guest guest]

for me it was simply a matter of finding a school who actually care for the children all the children and who arent afraid to show they care we have only been in this school district for 2and half months, that is how fast the process worked this time. sherryFrom: Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> Sent:

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 9:28:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

Sherry, Jan, Ruth, Roxanna,

Why now? What is now happening that for so many years we've been fighting so hard for our kids including all the running around and expense. (don't forget the stress!) And the school saying we don't see it nor willing to give our children any type of help - Why now? I'm reading this with several post. 1st with Ruth - (I was so happy for her) yet.... She was shocked! - just like I am now. (we just had our CSE meeting) The same thing from many others from different states posting on this site. I think it's amazing (and very good) that we all are finally going to get the help we need.

I can't wait to hear from you in September to see how everything is working out for you all. and to hear from your children to see how their year went. (Yet, I don't want to rush this summer). LOL...

*This morning, I got a call from school that my son forgot his school bag if I can bring it in....no different from any other day with his poor organization. except now, they are going to work with this instead of saying, 'he needs a consequence' for when he forgets. geeeeee, why didn't I or the specialist ever suggest that? (being sarcastic!.) but now they have strategies to work with this....I'm shocked!. and it's on his IEP!!!!!!!

Rose

From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 8:23:16 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

Hi i totally sympathize with you and all the run around you have gotten as i too have been there i recieved word at meeting on may 29 that my son now too will recieve supports and services at school when we return, we have yet to have iep but i met with the learning support teacher and the speech therapist principal and others and they really made me feel good, and i believe with all my heart that i finally have my son in a public school that will help him. sherry

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com> Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 5:39:46 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

>> Ruth, I have been getting such a run around and so many surprises & stress at these past CSE meetings that I can't believe things went this well and they are going to work with my son and now see what I've been trying to tell them. They actually wrote everything he needs. I still can't believe this!....> *Sorry for misunderstanding your last post to me. I just can't believe this IEP....It's like I'm waiting for someone to say this was a mistake and make changes....God I hope not.This is where I am at too. Scared to death the other shoe is going to drop LOL... (Do I have that right?) I can't believe we may actually be able to relax and enjoy the

summer!Ruth

[Guest guest]

>

> for me it was simply a matter of finding a school who actually care for the

children all the children and who arent afraid to show they care we have only

been in this school district for 2and half months, that is how fast the process

worked this time. sherry

For me, since the school district is not up front about anything, I can only

guess. I think there are a lot of possibilities, and I think it is a mixture of

things. I think partly our school district is just finally getting it together

regarding high functioning autism spectrum disorders, partly they have a process

where they determine what level of services the student needs and they/we had to

work our way through that process, partly I put things in their face that had

legal repercussions that they couldn't ignore, partly I was persistent and kept

explaining " things " , partly because there were school staff who kept working on

things too--just off the top of my head. I also think they are just getting

over the RTI craziness. They were definitely experimenting with doing things

outside of SPED that they normally did in SPED.

I will be curious to try to nose around next year and see how many of the kids

in my son's special class for autism spectrum students are on first-time IEPs.

I imagine the kids may kind of talk about whether they have done a similar class

before or not, and I may be able to figure it out.

To me, the disrespect and dismissal, even borderline abuse, that is sometimes

shown both parents and students while things are being worked out is really kind

of a different issue. That is really what gets to me when I bother to think

about it. Usually the people that indulged in the negative behaviors are not

the same ones that end up taking action to change things. I think you have to

resist generalizing and sort out the helpful people from the unhelpful ones, so

you can figure out how to work with everyone. People talk about having good

school districts and bad school districts and I can't say as I can label my own

school district so decisively. We have had great experiences, horrible

experiences, and everything in between. And many of the great experiences came

out of the good people helping us deal with the bad people. I think one

difference once you get a decent IEP, or even a good 504, is that the bad eggs

know they can't get away with torturing your kid as easily so they vent

themselves elsewhere.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Sherry,

I'm so happy for you both...relief at last.

Rose

From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone@...> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 10:14:26 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

for me it was simply a matter of finding a school who actually care for the children all the children and who arent afraid to show they care we have only been in this school district for 2and half months, that is how fast the process worked this time. sherry

From: Rose <beachbodytan2002> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 9:28:32 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

Sherry, Jan, Ruth, Roxanna,

Why now? What is now happening that for so many years we've been fighting so hard for our kids including all the running around and expense. (don't forget the stress!) And the school saying we don't see it nor willing to give our children any type of help - Why now? I'm reading this with several post. 1st with Ruth - (I was so happy for her) yet.... She was shocked! - just like I am now. (we just had our CSE meeting) The same thing from many others from different states posting on this site. I think it's amazing (and very good) that we all are finally going to get the help we need.

I can't wait to hear from you in September to see how everything is working out for you all. and to hear from your children to see how their year went. (Yet, I don't want to rush this summer). LOL...

*This morning, I got a call from school that my son forgot his school bag if I can bring it in....no different from any other day with his poor organization. except now, they are going to work with this instead of saying, 'he needs a consequence' for when he forgets. geeeeee, why didn't I or the specialist ever suggest that? (being sarcastic!.) but now they have strategies to work with this....I'm shocked!. and it's on his IEP!!!!!!!

Rose

From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 8:23:16 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

Hi i totally sympathize with you and all the run around you have gotten as i too have been there i recieved word at meeting on may 29 that my son now too will recieve supports and services at school when we return, we have yet to have iep but i met with the learning support teacher and the speech therapist principal and others and they really made me feel good, and i believe with all my heart that i finally have my son in a public school that will help him. sherry

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com> Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 5:39:46 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

>> Ruth, I have been getting such a run around and so many surprises & stress at these past CSE meetings that I can't believe things went this well and they are going to work with my son and now see what I've been trying to tell them. They actually wrote everything he needs. I still can't believe this!....> *Sorry for misunderstanding your last post to me. I just can't believe this IEP....It's like I'm waiting for someone to say this was a mistake and make changes....God I hope not.This is where I am at too. Scared to death the other shoe is going to drop LOL... (Do I have that right?) I can't believe we may actually be able to relax and enjoy the

summer!Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth, so well said !!!!

I like and agree with your last paragraph and especially your last 3 sentences!!!...how true that is...with me, those teachers {the bad eggs} (they know who they are) can't even look at me.....wonder why?????????

Rose

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 12:43:23 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

>> for me it was simply a matter of finding a school who actually care for the children all the children and who arent afraid to show they care we have only been in this school district for 2and half months, that is how fast the process worked this time. sherryFor me, since the school district is not up front about anything, I can only guess. I think there are a lot of possibilities, and I think it is a mixture of things. I think partly our school district is just finally getting it together regarding high functioning autism spectrum disorders, partly they have a process where they determine what level of services the student needs and they/we had to work our way through that process, partly I put things in

their face that had legal repercussions that they couldn't ignore, partly I was persistent and kept explaining "things", partly because there were school staff who kept working on things too--just off the top of my head. I also think they are just getting over the RTI craziness. They were definitely experimenting with doing things outside of SPED that they normally did in SPED.I will be curious to try to nose around next year and see how many of the kids in my son's special class for autism spectrum students are on first-time IEPs. I imagine the kids may kind of talk about whether they have done a similar class before or not, and I may be able to figure it out.To me, the disrespect and dismissal, even borderline abuse, that is sometimes shown both parents and students while things are being worked out is really kind of a different issue. That is really what gets to me when I bother to think about it. Usually the people that indulged in

the negative behaviors are not the same ones that end up taking action to change things. I think you have to resist generalizing and sort out the helpful people from the unhelpful ones, so you can figure out how to work with everyone. People talk about having good school districts and bad school districts and I can't say as I can label my own school district so decisively. We have had great experiences, horrible experiences, and everything in between. And many of the great experiences came out of the good people helping us deal with the bad people. I think one difference once you get a decent IEP, or even a good 504, is that the bad eggs know they can't get away with torturing your kid as easily so they vent themselves elsewhere.Ruth

[Guest guest]

Why now? I don't know. My personal observations with my own kids is that when they are little, problems are dismissed so easily. "He's a boy", "He's immature", "All kids have this problem" and on and on. As they get older, it is harder to make these excuses, the problems become more pronounced and they haven't magically gone away. So it is less likely to get brushed off as a phase or "just immaturity" - although some schools will keep at it for a long time.

Another problem is just a common sense kind of problem. A child in lower grades can't really be failing enough to get their attention just because they are too young to fail too much. I mean, how far behind can a Kindergartner be compared to a kid in 5th grade for instance? This is not to say they can't have serious problems, of course. But they are so young that it usually shows up as a moderate delay or even a mild delay. Years later, without help and with the same problems, they finally can show up as a larger delay. In an IEP meeting I attended a few months ago, the OT admitted that she sees kids in K and 1st grade who really need help but they don't qualify as being far enough behind yet. She knows they will qualify a few years later and will finally be far enough behind to qualify for help. Yet she could help them more easily sooner rather than later.

Schools are very big on using discrepancy formula's to qualify for help instead of using common sense.

And also, for some kids - after years of failing, they give up. They stop trying, they start acting out, they are so lost that the frustration is written all over them. That, combined with puberty, can be a serious complication. Once a kid is throwing chairs or refusing to do things, suddenly it becomes a real problem.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

>

> Ruth, I have been getting such a run around and so many surprises & stress at these past CSE meetings that I can't believe things went this well and they are going to work with my son and now see what I've been trying to tell them. They actually wrote everything he needs. I still can't believe this!....

> *Sorry for misunderstanding your last post to me. I just can't believe this IEP....It's like I'm waiting for someone to say this was a mistake and make changes....God I hope not.

This is where I am at too. Scared to death the other shoe is going to drop LOL... (Do I have that right?) I can't believe we may actually be able to relax and enjoy the

summer!

Ruth

Make your summer sizzle with fast and easy recipes for the grill.

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,

you are so right about some schools taking a little longer than others. thanks for explaining this- got to see how our next year goes.

Rose

From: Roxanna <MadIdeas@...> Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2009 11:11:28 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth, Jan, Sherry, Roxanna

Why now? I don't know. My personal observations with my own kids is that when they are little, problems are dismissed so easily. "He's a boy", "He's immature", "All kids have this problem" and on and on. As they get older, it is harder to make these excuses, the problems become more pronounced and they haven't magically gone away. So it is less likely to get brushed off as a phase or "just immaturity" - although some schools will keep at it for a long time. Another problem is just a common sense kind of problem. A child in lower grades can't really be failing enough to get their attention just because they are too young to fail too much. I mean, how far behind can a Kindergartner be compared to a kid in 5th grade for instance? This is not to say they can't have serious problems, of course. But they are so young that it usually shows up

as a moderate delay or even a mild delay. Years later, without help and with the same problems, they finally can show up as a larger delay. In an IEP meeting I attended a few months ago, the OT admitted that she sees kids in K and 1st grade who really need help but they don't qualify as being far enough behind yet. She knows they will qualify a few years later and will finally be far enough behind to qualify for help. Yet she could help them more easily sooner rather than later. Schools are very big on using discrepancy formula's to qualify for help instead of using common sense. And also, for some kids - after years of failing, they give up. They stop trying, they start acting out, they are so lost that the frustration is written all over them. That, combined with puberty, can be a serious complication. Once a kid is throwing chairs or refusing to do things, suddenly it becomes a

real problem.

RoxannaAutism Happens

Re: ( ) Question? - Ruth

>> Ruth, I have been getting such a run around and so many surprises & stress at these past CSE meetings that I can't believe things went this well and they are going to work with my son and now see what I've been trying to tell them. They actually wrote everything he needs. I still can't believe this!....> *Sorry for misunderstanding your last post to me. I just can't believe this IEP....It's like I'm waiting for someone to say this was a mistake and make changes....God I hope not.This is where I am at too. Scared to death the other shoe is going to drop LOL... (Do I have that right?) I can't believe we may actually be able to relax and enjoy the

summer!Ruth

Make your summer sizzle with fast and easy recipes for the grill.