Re: reward system - how effective is it ??? - Roxanna

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Well said Roxanna, They are only starting to see my concerns now....because he is getting older and its more obvious and more noticed, especially since I put each and every concern in writing. they have no choice 'but to see it'. they do have a tract sheet for class, for after school activities, for him to check off what he needs to take home...and with adults making sure he is following them... I also learned from others from this site, that responded on what to do when he's at a friends home or outside activities to keep track of his personal stuff. which I feel is going to work. Roxanna, it took all this....(writing back and forth) doctors appointments, lots of phone calls, social skills groups, meetings, and lots of questions... just to find the right ""complete""" strategy to work for my son. I feel better about

this (organization routine) because I'm getting somewhere now, and it's working, without a "quick dumb answer' that isn't going to work with my son... Now, I have been told that they are going to do this with a few other kids in the class that have that same problem as my son with organization...well great for them... better that, than a consequence...I wonder where their parents were and what they were doing to help their child out? I feel that because everything is kept such a tight secrete at school, and if we had a meeting with these concerns, since I'm not the only parent complaining about this, and we all get together and try to figure this out. our kids wouldn't miss out on so much and things would be different. Our kids wouldn't get a consequence for something they have no control over... but that's a Hugh dream...At least we have something to work with that makes sense

and will work...exhausting!!! right?... And after all these strategies, efforts, routines, being firm and consistant with each and everything, "baby steps all the way, to get here"... all those after school tutors, doctor appointments. and when our kids finally get it !!! and start doing well, lol, the school feels like they cured him of autism !!!! then want to change his classification... Rose Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I understand what you are saying completely and I agree. Most of the time, these kinds of plans are what I call, "Let the parents deal with it at home." And basically, whether he remembers or forgets, you get to deal with it at home and they don't have to do anything at the school end to facilitate his learning. Kind of nice how that works. (sarcasm!) I think the reward system works but it has to be designed to fit the child's needs and not the school's needs. For instance, someone could design a system for him to get his things together at school and go over it with him. Then teach whatever system is working to him in parts, rewarding him every time he is successful. I don't think giving him a

consequence for not being successful would work either and I like your analogy of going into the dark basement because it's true. But through achieving goals and being successful small steps at a time, he could learn and improve his abilities. Perhaps he will always need help getting organized, perhaps it will kick into gear eventually or perhaps through working with someone, he will improve over time. But I agree, just telling you to punish or reward him at home, well after the fact, does nothing at all and teaches nothing at all. Plus, it puts you in charge of the problem when you have no way of helping him learn since you are not at school and there during the time the actual problem is happening. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) reward system - how effective is it ??? With my concern with my son's organization is still at a complete standstill. Including asking the school for help. They did help somewhat with an organization chart - check off list - with prompting. but my son still forgets/loses his winter clothes/boots/gloves forgets his books/homework folder, etc...(less often with that chart) The school came up with a reward system. If he

''remembers'' to take home his belongings, he should get a reward, if not, he should get a consequence. Now I'm not sure why they think this would work for him. If he remembers to bring home his winter clothes/homework assignments on Monday (because there was no distractions to help him forget) and he gets a reward. and again on Tuesday, and maybe Wednesday and he gets a reward but on Thursday there was lots of distractions and maybe a fire drill, change of activity etc.. and he forgets because his routine was changed. How would a consequence work? and the days that he did "happen" to remember to take everything home. Why should a reward make a difference ''as a teaching method''? was it a consequience that he remembered? no distractions, or somebody reminded him?..Now I do believe in the reward system for certain things.(younger age group). but not as a main idea for a teaching strategies. because when he

doesn't remember his things and is clueless to forgetting them and its not intentionally but because its due to a change of routine, (he forgot). I feel this only makes the child feel bad about him/her self and lowers their self esteem...He is not doing this by choice.If someone had a fear of the dark, a real fear. would you tell them if you go into the basement without light, I'll give you a reward and if you don't, I'll give you a consequence, because there is nothing there for you to be afraid of? I know this is a poor example, but my point is, a reward/consequence doesn't work to teach a person without a strategy & routine to help them out.I also feel it's like a time out for a child. "Time out" doesn't teach the child anything. but it does give everybody a break for a few minutes. and I can add: with behavioral concerns: if the child was told:, If you behave today and not hit or yell at anyone today,

''you will get a reward''. that can set up your child for abuse. If another child was teasing your child and pushed your child. he/she won't do/say anything about it because he/she "wants that reward" and not a consequence.. meanwhile the child is being bullied and no one will know... so how effective is that reward?. I believe that might be a good idea for pre-school age children (with somethings) but older children need a strategy and routine to help them out. and if that doesn't work, it's the wrong strategy...just my experience Rose

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ROFL, yep...the cure. <GG>

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) reward system - how effective is it ???

With my concern with my son's organization is still at a complete standstill. Including asking the school for help. They did help somewhat with an organization chart - check off list - with prompting. but my son still forgets/loses his winter clothes/boots/gloves forgets his books/homework folder, etc...(less often with that chart) The school came up with a reward system. If he ''remembers'' to take home his belongings, he should get a reward, if not, he should get a consequence. Now I'm not sure why they think this would work for him. If he remembers to bring home his winter clothes/homework assignments on Monday (because there was no distractions to help him forget) and he gets a reward. and again on Tuesday, and maybe Wednesday and he gets a reward but on Thursday there was lots of distractions and maybe a fire drill, change of activity etc.. and he forgets because his routine was changed. How would a consequence work? and the days that he did "happen" to remember to take everything home. Why should a reward make a difference ''as a teaching method''? was it a consequience that he remembered? no distractions, or somebody reminded him?..Now I do believe in the reward system for certain things.(younger age group). but not as a main idea for a teaching strategies. because when he doesn't remember his things and is clueless to forgetting them and its not intentionally but because its due to a change of routine, (he forgot). I feel this only makes the child feel bad about him/her self and lowers their self esteem...He is not doing this by choice.If someone had a fear of the dark, a real fear. would you tell them if you go into the basement without light, I'll give you a reward and if you don't, I'll give you a consequence, because there is nothing there for you to be afraid of? I know this is a poor example, but my point is, a reward/consequence doesn't work to teach a person without a strategy & routine to help them out.I also feel it's like a time out for a child. "Time out" doesn't teach the child anything. but it does give everybody a break for a few minutes. and I can add: with behavioral concerns: if the child was told:, If you behave today and not hit or yell at anyone today, ''you will get a reward''. that can set up your child for abuse. If another child was teasing your child and pushed your child. he/she won't do/say anything about it because he/she "wants that reward" and not a consequence.. meanwhile the child is being bullied and no one will know... so how effective is that reward?. I believe that might be a good idea for pre-school age children (with somethings) but older children need a strategy and routine to help them out. and if that doesn't work, it's the wrong strategy...just my experience Rose

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