Guest guest Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 Oh, I could write a book....I am natually kind of reserved and my " claim to fame " growing up and still is that I am a " people pleaser " and love people to like me. I smile a lot, try to think of others feelings etc. Well, God wanted to bless me with this child who when he gets frustrated and overwhelmed, lashes out at his peers. Not a great way to bond with the neighbors! He has had meltdowns in public places and has gotten physical with peers when he doesn't get his way. This is much improved now that he is 5, but 3 and 4 were tough years and I am still very jumpy when I am not supervising him with peers at all times. He hit a girl in a kids museum because he was angry that there was no tape for his craft. I know he looks " normal " and so I know the other mom just thought he was " bad. " I am doing the best I can and he is improving, but it is hard having an " Invisible disability " . I know my own MIL thinks this is all nonsense. I somtimes wonder if this is my life lesson to gain a tougher skin. But I feel like things are looking up and I have survived!! Good luck! in NY In , " Roxanna " <madideas@...> wrote: > > Hang in there , you are doing just fine! Many people will not stop to tell you that you are doing great because they don't want to make it worse. I'm glad someone did! The more you stick to your limits, the better it will be in the long term. For now, I would just hang in there and keep at it. I have had to drag kids out of public places while they were screaming many times in the past. I know how awful it feels. I wish I had a magic formula!! But the good thing is, I'm still here and I'm not insane and the kids are in one piece. <g> > > I remember one time we had our car break down on a cold winter's trip to my parents house for Xmas. We were towed to the local Sears repair shop which was hooked onto a mall. I walked with the kids around the mall waiting for my parents to drive up to get us. We were all tired and stressed. My ds was probably 3 or 4 yo at the time, did not speak yet and had headbanging tantrums. So I tried pulling him out of this toy store as I saw him winding up but I was too late. He starts screaming and headbanging right there in the toy store, in the mall. People stared. Ugh. I wanted to become invisible. But no such luck! Instead, I kept pulling him and dragging him to find a quiet spot - a door somewhere to the outside so we could scream in private. <g> > > Well, all of the sudden I rounded the corner and saw a door! My escape! As I hurriedly dragged my darling (he was kicking, screaming and not able to be carried so I was literally dragging him!) a lady grabbed my arm. She told me that it was ok, kids have tantrums in public all the time and that I should not use violence to solve the problem. > > LOL! I wasn't planning to beat him - I just wanted to get him out of there and into some cold air to cool off and calm down. But later I realized I probably looked like I wanted to beat him! LOL. > > Sad to say, this was not an isolated incident as we regularily had to leave stores for a long while. Now he is 19 yo and I can take him out in public, lol. No more tantrums. So there is a light somewhere down the road...just keep going forward. > > Roxanna > You're Unique > Just like everyone else... > ( ) Frustration > > > Hi all. This is the first time I have posted. But I am so defeated > right now. Just when you think you have made two steps forward, you > take three back. Our son is a bright and intelligent boy, but geez > can he be disagreeable! > > We were the proud parents of a major meltdown at the Science Center > yesterday, had to carry him out of the building, out to the car. It is > just so mortifying in public you know...the stares, the > explanations..I just hate it all. It makes me so sad. > > We set the boundaries--he pushed, we asked him to chose and the > defiance started. He responds--I am getting it all. We try quiet > reasoning, we remind him of the limits set, he doesn't care. He gets > this look on his face as if his personality changes right in front of > our eyes. Finally, have what seemed like an eternity of this, I put > the hammer down. Inform him he will get nothing because he can't > follow the agreed upon guidelines and the meltdown is in full tilt > whirlie at that point. > > Wrenching the items out of his hands, I pick him up, offering > apologies on the way out. The one redeeming moment is when I have > pulled the car around and a random parent comes to me and > congratulates us for not caving into his fit. I thank him for the > encouragement and wish him a good afternoon. > > How do you all recover from these incidents? How do you handle the > power struggle in public? How do you move on and still get out in > public? Any suggestions, guidance would be appreciated. As my > husband pointed out--it's hard when it is a support group of two. We > are so tired of struggling.... > > We start TSS on Thursday--took all summer to secure it, do we relate > this to her and the BSC? > > God, I just don't know what to do. > > Thanks for listening. > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- > > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.14/1646 - Release Date: 9/1/2008 6:03 PM > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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