Re: Self-care skills - for Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Roxanna – I had to laugh when I read this as I don’t think this list will help with my DS’ issues. He just turned 19 and graduated from high school. While extremely bright academically, he takes no initiative for “self-care”. We have to remind him to take his meds, remind him to shave, remind him to shower, remind him to brush his teeth... - the list goes on and on. And, even when I “remind” him to shower and brush his teeth, I am not always sure if he does it or how well it is done – last time he had his teeth cleaned and saw the dentist he needed at least five fillings. I don’t know if it is a sensory thing or what but it drives me nuts. The organization at which he has done “social understanding” groups for the past 3 years started a program this past year to help kids with AS transition to college – it is individualized to each student’s needs. They will also help with money management (another huge issue with Tyler) and independent living skills. We see them this week for an assessment and they will then make a recommendation for services. From what I have been told by the director the program sounds very similar to CLE (College Living Experience) but will, of course, be cheaper as they are not providing room and board. I am sure it will still be costly but feel we have to do something. I think part of my problem is I don’t know how to help Tyler “learn” these skills on his own and get some resistance from him probably due to the fact he is resistant to any suggestions from “Mom” and often says I am “nagging”. I think an independent third party might be more successful. If nothing else, they should be more successful as AS is their area of expertise. Hopefully, they will be successful at helping Tyler learn to do these things on his own.

Tina,

if you google " developmental milestones " , you will get a bunch of sites that have a variety of milestones listed in all areas. Then you can see what you can expect at his age.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

( ) Self-care skills

Hello all,

My HFA son will be turning 4 in July. I am wondering , for those of you with NT kids, what self-care skills mastery would be on target for this age? I am worried that some are still above what a typical child is doing by this age, so are we pushing him too hard too soon already? He is also big for his age, so is sometimes assumed to be older than he is. His preschool teacher has already mistakenly assumed he is going to Kindergarten next year instead of another year of preschool.

He does have some motor skills issues, lack of concentration, and learned helplessness....

Brushing own teeth (cannot spit into sink at this point)

Shoes on/off (velcro)

Socks on/off

Shirt on/off

Pants on/off

Do/undo snaps

Do/undo buttons

Zip/unzip

Bathe/Dry off

Wash hair/Dry hair

Comb hair

Thanks

TJ

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[Guest guest]

The person writing the OP wanted to know if they were pushing their almost 4 yo to learn skills before it was a typical skill for that age. So that is why I suggested googling milestones - to find out what a typical child can do. Then they can tell if they are teaching age appropriate skills.

I know what you mean about how our kids will not fit on a scale for "normal" kids. That is so true. But I have found using these milestone scales/charts to be really helpful when my ds was younger just to write the IEP. I could see what a typical kid could do and keep expectations up there in that general area.

Now don't give up on self help skills. Hopefully this program will help him!! He may need a list/chart posted to be able to follow through on some of those things. Let us know how it is going!

Roxanna

Autism Happens

( ) Self-care skills

Hello all,

My HFA son will be turning 4 in July. I am wondering , for those of you with NT kids, what self-care skills mastery would be on target for this age? I am worried that some are still above what a typical child is doing by this age, so are we pushing him too hard too soon already? He is also big for his age, so is sometimes assumed to be older than he is. His preschool teacher has already mistakenly assumed he is going to Kindergarten next year instead of another year of preschool.

He does have some motor skills issues, lack of concentration, and learned helplessness....

Brushing own teeth (cannot spit into sink at this point)

Shoes on/off (velcro)

Socks on/off

Shirt on/off

Pants on/off

Do/undo snaps

Do/undo buttons

Zip/unzip

Bathe/Dry off

Wash hair/Dry hair

Comb hair

Thanks

TJ

Hotmail® goes with you. Get it on your BlackBerry or iPhone. <http://windowslive.com/Tutorial/Hotmail/Mobile?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_W

L_HM_Tutorial_Mobile1_052009>

Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off <http://www.aolhealth.com/diet/weight-loss-program/?ncid=emlcntusheal00000001> to learn how.

Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off to learn how.

[Guest guest]



Ha, ha, ha..... this reminds me of a comment another parent made to me. I was lamenting how I was tired of being the grown up, tired of being the responsible one, tired of making all the hard choices and decisions, tired of dealing with all the really ugly and big problems of life, and tired of the SAME old problems.......

He said that he and his wife have a saying for this.....especially in relation to their sons IEP.....

"we need some new unreachable goals"

I just thought this was perfect. All of the goals we set seem so impossible at the time. "He needs to be able to attend" "He needs to learn the learning to learn skills" "He needs to be able to.... ........ fill in the blank."

My mother always says in response......."He needs to not have autism." That is one of my favorites too...

( ) Self-care skills Hello all,My HFA son will be turning 4 in July. I am wondering , for those of you with NT kids, what self-care skills mastery would be on target for this age? I am worried that some are still above what a typical child is doing by this age, so are we pushing him too hard too soon already? He is also big for his age, so is sometimes assumed to be older than he is. His preschool teacher has already mistakenly assumed he is going to Kindergarten next year instead of another year of preschool.He does have some motor skills issues, lack of concentration, and learned helplessness....Brushing own teeth (cannot spit into sink at this point)Shoes on/off (velcro)Socks on/offShirt on/offPants on/offDo/undo snapsDo/undo buttonsZip/unzipBathe/Dry offWash hair/Dry hairComb hair ThanksTJ

Hotmail® goes with you. Get it on your BlackBerry or iPhone. <http://windowslive.com/Tutorial/Hotmail/Mobile?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_W L_HM_Tutorial_Mobile1_052009>

Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off <http://www.aolhealth.com/diet/weight-loss-program/?ncid=emlcntusheal00000001> to learn how.

Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off to learn how.

[Guest guest]

I sympathize completely...DS is 24 and we are still reminding of these things.

However after picking him up at school a few months ago and his half shaven face

looked like an animal had molted on it, we stopped at a convenience store,

bought a razor and shaving cream, made him go in and shave and made an even

bigger deal than usual about it and since then, he HAS been clean shaven

(mostly) when we pick him up. We also threatened to leave him in the car while

we went to eat as didn't want to look at him across table.

But it still takes CONSTANT reminders...one thing that helps with the tooth

brushing is sugar free gum. He does like to chew gum, I figure the sugar free is

helping more than the 3.5 seconds he spends brushing teeth and he will chew it.

We have tried rewards...$$ taped on the bathroom mirror, to-do lists, punishment

(grounding) but nothing makes him do it on his own.

He even lost out on opportunity to go on to advanced training in JobCorps partly

because of hygiene issue.

Oh, one other thing we did, that worked while he knew where his watch was, LOL,

was to set watch alarm 30 minutes before bed to remind him to shower. He insists

he just doesn't " remember. " I am not sure I buy into the " sensory " thing as

being the root of his hygiene problem, at least with him...it is probably part

of it.

Sue in TN

>

> Roxanna †" I had to laugh when I read this as I don’t think this list will

help with my DS’ issues.  He just turned 19 and graduated from high school.

 We have to remind him to take his meds, remind him to shave, remind him to

shower, remind him to brush his teeth...  - the list goes on and on.  And,

even when I “remind†him to shower and brush his teeth, I am not always sure

if he does it or how well it is done †" last time he had his teeth cleaned and

saw the dentist he needed at least five fillings.

[Guest guest]

Pick a few good looking sites and use them. You can get a basic ideas from them. Development is not a set thing. Everyone is on a different trajectory. Most sites will give you an average.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

( ) Self-care skills

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> My HFA son will be turning 4 in July. I am wondering , for those of you with NT kids, what self-care skills mastery would be on target for this ag

e? I am worried that some are still above what a typical child is doing by this age, so are we pushing him too hard too soon already? He is also big for his age, so is sometimes assumed to be older than he is. His preschool teacher has already mistakenly assumed he is going to Kindergarten next year instead of another year of preschool.

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> He does have some motor skills issues, lack of concentration, and learned helplessness....

>

> Brushing own teeth (cannot spit into sink at this point)

>

> Shoes on/off (velcro)

>

> Socks on/off

>

> Shirt on/off

>

> Pan

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>

> Do/undo snaps

>

> Do/undo buttons

>

> Zip/unzip

>

> Bathe/Dry off

>

> Wash hair/Dry hair

>

> Comb hair

>

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Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off to learn how.