Guest guest Posted October 27, 2002 Report Share Posted October 27, 2002 Kathy, One of the things that you can put in the IEP is Circle of Friends. I think Kathy knows more about this, but I think it's a small group of friends that eat lunch together and interact during recess or playtime. Sometimes, we are the ones who have to initiate the 'playdates " as we call them here in NY - invite some (or just one) of the girls to the park, or movies or to your house. One of our biggest struggles has been 'friends' for amanda. She says shes got lots of friends at school, but i havent seen them here or they havent called her to get together. Last year, the teacher told me who was friendly with amanda and who would be good for her. so i started taking them together to the park. then they started calling each other on the phone and seeing each other out of school more. I too have had amanda join some activities with spec needs peers, and that hasnt amounted to much either. I just keep her very busy - soccer, choir, youth group and she spends time with her peers/friends and occassionally a friend comes over or we go someplace together. Its a heart breaker, especially since my son has so many friends. but then one day someone said to me, " Maybe she is happy with one or two really good friends and thats all that she can handle. " I think that may be very true and i should take off my expections and let her find her own. One year the para at lunch time created games where amanda could be included - board games, etc. Ask the people who interact with her every day for some suggestions. I know exactly what youre going thru. ~ Mom to 12 DS and Diabetes Type 1 and 8 NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 Hi Carol, As the mom of a 9th grade aspie I have been there. What specific problems is he having? Social stories and acting out scenarios worked well for Miss Molly. Also, if available, I would highly recommend Boy Scouts, or another social group to "practice" make sure that the leaders are aware of his limitations - generally if kids know what the issue is, they are more than willing to help out and mentor other kids - it makes them feel helpful and important you know? mblaman2001 <mblaman@...> wrote: Hi, I am a mom of a 5th grade Aspie and was hoping for some input from other moms of similar age children. My son is very high functioning but has a lot of trouble socially with his peers. He is getting to the age that I need some advice from parents with kids who have experienced all this social stuff with their child. He will be entering middle school next year and this social stuff is only going to get harder. He is aware that he doesn't make friends or keep friends once he makes them. He wants to have friends. Any suggestions on things that really worked to help in and out of school with peers would be so helpful. Thanks so much.Carol______________________________________________________________ "I want to be part of the solution. Not part of the agonizing, grinding, boring complacent problem..." Henry Rollins; From "I hate U2" It's here! Your new message!Get new email alerts with the free Toolbar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. social issues Hi, I am a mom of a 5th grade Aspie and was hoping for some input from other moms of similar age children. My son is very high functioning but has a lot of trouble socially with his peers. He is getting to the age that I need some advice from parents with kids who have experienced all this social stuff with their child. He will be entering middle school next year and this social stuff is only going to get harder. He is aware that he doesn't make friends or keep friends once he makes them. He wants to have friends. Any suggestions on things that really worked to help in and out of school with peers would be so helpful. Thanks so much.Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 , I am WAY behind on reading, but I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers and we have an IEP in 2 weeks. I would love to hear what you put in your IEP for social skills. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. BeckyH From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Bernstein Sent: Monday, January 29, 2007 6:31 PM Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: social issues You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Ditto Becky, Our 9 year old is WAY behind in social skills, and we don't even know where to start with the school. They acknowledge that he has severe deficits in this area, yet they offer us nothing to help him along. Any help on this front is MUCH appreciated! On 1/29/07, BHolland <bholland20@...> wrote: , I am WAY behind on reading, but I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers and we have an IEP in 2 weeks. I would love to hear what you put in your IEP for social skills. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. BeckyH From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Bernstein Sent: Monday, January 29, 2007 6:31 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: social issues You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. -- Don't Breed, Don't Buy, Adopt! www.avianwelfare.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi Carolyn, I know this isn’t what you were looking for. I am also new to the group (Gotta Love Me) see my post. I am looking for the same. You can see all the details in my first post. It’s hard for the Aspie’s and to their defense it’s even harder in our area because I believe (with good cause) they are overlooked. My son is highly intelligent and appears to other people as it’s just a behavior issue and unfortunately our area does NOT get it. I almost believe if he was lower functioning then we might have some ideas of what to do, etc. Is it just me or my surrounding area? Deb’s From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of mblaman2001 Sent: Monday, January 29, 2007 11:36 AM To: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: social issues Hi, I am a mom of a 5th grade Aspie and was hoping for some input from other moms of similar age children. My son is very high functioning but has a lot of trouble socially with his peers. He is getting to the age that I need some advice from parents with kids who have experienced all this social stuff with their child. He will be entering middle school next year and this social stuff is only going to get harder. He is aware that he doesn't make friends or keep friends once he makes them. He wants to have friends. Any suggestions on things that really worked to help in and out of school with peers would be so helpful. Thanks so much. Carol -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/657 - Release Date: 1/29/2007 9:04 AM -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.14/657 - Release Date: 1/29/2007 9:04 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 My son's school has a behavior psychologist. She works on social interaction role playing. She tries to teach him how to interact with his peers. Also the speech therapist is working on how to communicate in certain situations. It really seems to help him because he's starting to understand how to socialize and behave appropriately. He still acts up but definitely not as much and is starting to understand his actions. Academics is not a problem for him it is only behavior and that why this has work well for him. Good LuckBHolland <bholland20@...> wrote: , I am WAY behind on reading, but I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers and we have an IEP in 2 weeks. I would love to hear what you put in your IEP for social skills. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. BeckyH From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of BernsteinSent: Monday, January 29, 2007 6:31 PMTo: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: social issues You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. Ally Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debatein the Answers Food Drink Q&A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hi and Everyone, I am fairly new to this group. Here are some resources to help the group. If anyone live in the state of Florida please look into going to The Family Cafe. If you have a child with special needs or a family member . The state of Florida has made provisions for families with special needs to get to this conference by offering financial assistanceto get to the conference in Orlando . The state has helped every year for the past 8 years to help the disables /special needs population get educated and iempowered with some awesome knowledge all you have to do is apply if you have a special needs family member or child or if you yourself are disabled or have a special need. It is an awesome place to learn what services are offered through out the state of florida. http://www.familycafe.net/. last year they had 10,000 people gather to this conference. It connected the top administration of Florida state services to the consumer which it served . If you don't a conference in your state like the family cafe I highly recommend an event like this in every state to help the community... As for IEP's here is another Resources http://www.wrightslaw.com/ for IEP's I have a web site called Bobby's World. I have a son with cerebral palsy and a daughter with ADHD and a third daughter . they are all teens. If there is anything I may be of service or you have questions in resource you think I may be able to help with please feel free to ask . I know what it feels like to battle with the educational and health state system in the state of Florida because that is all I have done all my children's lives. But I Got to tell you Our State is getting better every year... I hope the resources help.. Thank you all for being so awesome. God Bless Have An Awesome And Blessed Day Eldalee Cook www.bobbys-world.com Bobby's Movie cookeldalee@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 , Even social skills should be documented in the IEP. I hate to say it, but unless the school has a therapist, they can't do much except to acknowledge it. That's where the therapist that you have comes in. Either they, or an advocate, needs to be at the IEP meeting to voice what can be done to help your situation to the school. They will be looked at highly as experts in the area and will be taken seriously, instead of an overprotective parent who feels their child's rights are being violated. Joe > > > > , > > > > > > > > I am WAY behind on reading, but I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers > > and we have an IEP in 2 weeks. > > > > > > > > I would love to hear what you put in your IEP for social skills. > > > > > > > > Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > BeckyH > > > > > > ------------------------------ > > > > *From:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto: > > Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] *On Behalf Of * Bernstein > > *Sent:* Monday, January 29, 2007 6:31 PM > > *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment > > *Subject:* Re: social issues > > > > > > > > You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all > > together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific > > struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we > > survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > Don't Breed, Don't Buy, Adopt! > www.avianwelfare.org > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 , Even social skills should be documented in the IEP. I hate to say it, but unless the school has a therapist, they can't do much except to acknowledge it. That's where the therapist that you have comes in. Either they, or an advocate, needs to be at the IEP meeting to voice what can be done to help your situation to the school. They will be looked at highly as experts in the area and will be taken seriously, instead of an overprotective parent who feels their child's rights are being violated. Joe > > > > , > > > > > > > > I am WAY behind on reading, but I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers > > and we have an IEP in 2 weeks. > > > > > > > > I would love to hear what you put in your IEP for social skills. > > > > > > > > Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks. > > > > > > > > BeckyH > > > > > > ------------------------------ > > > > *From:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto: > > Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] *On Behalf Of * Bernstein > > *Sent:* Monday, January 29, 2007 6:31 PM > > *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment > > *Subject:* Re: social issues > > > > > > > > You're right, middle school is the worst! I wish they could skip it all > > together. It would help if you could give some detail about his specific > > struggles. I feel like we have been through it all with our son, but we > > survived. We added so much to our IEP for social skills. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > Don't Breed, Don't Buy, Adopt! > www.avianwelfare.org > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a AS child. My question is, how hard do you push him/her? My daughters therapist is driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is in school 6+ hours a day, and gets to see her friends while she is there. They have lunch, and recess together. When my daughter comes home in the afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own thing. Of course homework fits in there somewhere, but I don't force my kids into any structured activities. We tried band, but that was too frustrating for her. Her motor skills make any kind of sports difficult. She is not interested in " playdates " , which I feel is a silly term for a 12 year old LOL I'm thinking of signing her up for some kind of art or sculpting class. But how hard do you push them into social situations? I already have to push her into school, and what is required there. I already have to push her into weekly therapy. When can I stop pushing? I'm trying to figure out where I'm supposed to find the time on top of it. By the time they are done with homework its dinner time, and by the time dinner is over its time to unwind for bed. I'm just so stressed out. The school suspects my 7 year old son has AS, and I have a daughter that just had surgery 2 weeks ago, and has had 3 surgeries over the last 6 months. I just really need some down time LOL Am I bad for wanting that? Thanks for letting me vent....I feel better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Hi Sheryl, That is a question I struggle with as well. But I think the short answer is " follow your instincts. " I am sure you have a gut feeling about what is right for your family. Both my boys 7 and almost 5 are in baseball. I really don't think they like it much. It is at the Y, so it is not as high pressure as true Little league. But I do it so that they can be exposed to something more " traditional. " My oldest especially would sit in front of the TV or computer all day if I let him. I had to encourage him to learn how to ride a bike at 5 (against his preference), but now he loves riding his 2-wheeler and it does help having that skill when friends come over. He " blends in " more. I even think baseball is growing on them. The kids in the neighborhood all play as well. But at the same time, I try to allow some time for their true interests as well...favorite computer game etc. I hope I am striking the right balance. Good luck! in NY > > I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a AS child. My > question is, how hard do you push him/her? My daughters therapist is > driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is in school 6+ hours a > day, and gets to see her friends while she is there. They have > lunch, and recess together. When my daughter comes home in the > afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own thing. Of course > homework fits in there somewhere, but I don't force my kids into any > structured activities. We tried band, but that was too frustrating > for her. Her motor skills make any kind of sports difficult. She is > not interested in " playdates " , which I feel is a silly term for a 12 > year old LOL I'm thinking of signing her up for some kind of art or > sculpting class. But how hard do you push them into social > situations? I already have to push her into school, and what is > required there. I already have to push her into weekly therapy. > When can I stop pushing? I'm trying to figure out where I'm supposed > to find the time on top of it. By the time they are done with > homework its dinner time, and by the time dinner is over its time to > unwind for bed. I'm just so stressed out. The school suspects my 7 > year old son has AS, and I have a daughter that just had surgery 2 > weeks ago, and has had 3 surgeries over the last 6 months. I just > really need some down time LOL Am I bad for wanting that? Thanks > for letting me vent....I feel better! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 On Dec 29, 1:39am, " Sheryl " wrote: } } I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a AS child. My=20 } question is, how hard do you push him/her? My daughters therapist is=20 } driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is in school 6+ hours a=20 } day, and gets to see her friends while she is there. They have=20 } lunch, and recess together. When my daughter comes home in the=20 } afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own thing. Of course=20 My son is the same way and I was like that too, so I try to give him as much chill time as I reasonably can. Luckily I get respite care, so I can go get some things done while he hangs at home. School is a LONG day for people with a lot of sensory issues and other problems and home is our safe place. Willa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 {{{Sheryl}}} Sounds like you could use some TLC and some rest for yourself! Wish I could make that happen for you. I wouldn't push your daughter regarding the socialization. At a "good time", a time when she's relaxed, not moody, peaceful, I would mention in passing that if she ever wanted to have a friend over, or go to a movie etc.. with a friend, that you'd be happy to take her. I don't think nagging would do any good, and it might even turn her off even more. I have gone thru the same thing with my son. He's always been very content on his own. Occasionally, he's had times where he seemed to want to have a friend around, but for the most part, he's very content to do his own thing. I agree that school is a long, very stimulating day for our kids. I know my son needs some time to himself to decompress after school. Plus, with dinner and homework, etc... that can really fill the rest of the night anyway. (For NT kids who don't have the issues our AS kids have, they may be able to handle busy schedules with afterschool activities, but it's a lot even for some of them. IMHO, there is way too much pressure from some parents for kids to be in as many extra curriular programs as possible. ) I was concerned for my AS son regarding having friends, etc... The psych he sees doesn't see it as a problem and has never pushed the issue. I agree with what you said about them being in school for 6+ hours and being with friends there. My son may not seem to have friends because he doesn't hang with them outside of school, but as I listen to him and hear about his day, he seems to have plenty of buddies in school. He does belong to a couple groups at school and interacts well with those kids. Don't let the therapist push you on this issue. I think everything you explained makes perfect sense. Mims From: Sheryl <sherylfoster@...>Subject: ( ) Social issues Date: Thursday, May 1, 2008, 4:48 PM I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a AS child. My question is, how hard do you push him/her? My daughters therapist is driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is in school 6+ hours a day, and gets to see her friends while she is there. They have lunch, and recess together. When my daughter comes home in the afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own thing. Of course homework fits in there somewhere, but I don't force my kids into any structured activities. We tried band, but that was too frustrating for her. Her motor skills make any kind of sports difficult. She is not interested in "playdates", which I feel is a silly term for a 12 year old LOL I'm thinking of signing her up for some kind of art or sculpting class. But how hard do you push them into social situations? I already have to push her into school, and what is required there. I already have to push her into weekly therapy. When can I stop pushing? I'm trying to figure out where I'm supposed to find the time on top of it. By the time they are done with homework its dinner time, and by the time dinner is over its time to unwind for bed. I'm just so stressed out. The school suspects my 7 year old son has AS, and I have a daughter that just had surgery 2 weeks ago, and has had 3 surgeries over the last 6 months. I just really need some down time LOL Am I bad for wanting that? Thanks for letting me vent....I feel better! Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I totally understand. Apart from raising my 15 y.o. dd with AS, I have my parents living with me, my dad has mobility issues from a neurological issue and my mother is suffering from Alzeimer's brought on by a closed head injury. And quite frankly, I have ADHD and chronic pain issues. At the end of the day, after despensing medications, preparing food, trying to keep the house in order (that part I am failing miserable with) I am exhausted and my ambition is close to zero (sometimes in the negative numbers). So the idea of doing " outside therapy " with a child who doesn't want it is not on the top of my priority list. However, I do focus on things that she likes, like horseback riding, and that is her big social skills training time. There are other kids at the barn that love horses as much as she does. So she already has a common area of interest with them. So she learns how to interact with them in her own comfort zone. I think she's learned more social skills at the barn than she did in her social skills group that she did 3 years ago. The group did give her a foundation but no practical application. I think we as parents know what we can handle and we also know our kids better than anyone else. A child that is not motivated to learn social skills will not learn them. IMO. Not all kids with AS want to be loners but some do. My dd, still won't go out of her way to be social after school but I know that she's taken great strides during school to interact. When she gets home she just needs to chill and unwind because she's done all she can do to keep her self " together " at school and interact and engage. Then come Saturday morning we head out to the barn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Yes, you need down time and so do your kids...any child for that matter. School is so stressful for them. I am not sure what the answer is...but I stopped pushing ...we were paying $21.00/week for guitar lessons....and my son is 12 and wanted to play and is pretty talented (more than me) but it started to be a fight to go...he would not practice, etc. It was stressing us all out...so we not going to do it for a while. Maybe as he matures...he'll want to go back...or maybe he will start learning it on his on. He used to play summer soccer but doesn't want to do that so we are not going to do as it just stresses all of us out and none of need more stress. Art sounds good to me. I was amazed to learn that my son loves working with clay. Try things I guess but if it isn't for them, then don't push. And, if you child is happy being home then let him/her. My son is the opposite...all he wants is to have friends over every single day...he is obsesses and NO one wants to " hang " with him. One kid up the street said... " why don't you find some other friends " . My son was devastated. So I guess I am looking at it from another angle...I would be so grateful if my son was comfortable in his own skin and could find things to do to entertain himself. Just keep working on it and keep your child out in the community so they learned to interact and socialize but I am not a great fan of all these organized sports etc. etc. I think people are putting too much pressure on kids today. To much to keep up with ....I really don't know how the parents do it. I think we really need more " family time " . Just my thoughts! Hang in there we are all behind you! And, TAKE a BREAK! Jan --- smitch458 <smitch458@...> wrote: > Hi Sheryl, > You don't sound bad to me. > To me, it sure sounds like you need some relaxing. > You sound very > stressed, (you do have alot going on). > My 17 yr.old son is a loner (claims he likes it that > way) > He doesn't go out except to the occastional movie or > to the gym with > me and my other son. And he takes guitar lesseons > once a week. > We used to bowl (him and I, but after a few years he > was done with > it). > I understand where your coming from...I tryed once > for him to go to > an asperger's social group in our area. > They went bowling. While he was there he seemed like > he was having a > decent time, but afterwards said he didn't want to > do it again. > I told him about another social group I was going to > give a call to > but he really doesn't want me to do that either. > I'm in the same boat...do you force them to do > things? or just let > them enjoy doings just the things they like? > My main concern is that when he needs to be social > for (real) life, > he won't have a handle on it. > That's why we are putting him in a > occupational/rehabilitation > program at the local hospital. He will do 1/2 school > day and 1/2 day > there. He will learn different things while he is > there to maybe > find out what he would like to do in the future. > He'll be introduced to many different jobs, > plumbing, electrical, > office work, etc., plus he will get paid minimum > wage to do it. > So I'm hoping this helps him socially also, because > the other young > adults there have similiar situations, (asperger's, > down's syndrome, > etc.) Plus they plan trips and parties there too, so > I'm really > looking forward for him to go there, although he is > not). > He already thinks he's going to hate it, but my son > mostly sees the > glass as 1/2 empty. > In any case, you have to do what you feel is right > for your daughter > and your situation. I know it's hard not feeling > guilty but, you > have others and yourself in your family that need > taken care of too. > Good luck to you and don't let that therapist > pressure you. > Sharon > > > > > > > > I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a > AS child. My > > question is, how hard do you push him/her? My > daughters therapist > is > > driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is > in school 6+ > hours a > > day, and gets to see her friends while she is > there. They have > > lunch, and recess together. When my daughter > comes home in the > > afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own > thing. Of > course > > homework fits in there somewhere, but I don't > force my kids into > any > > structured activities. We tried band, but that > was too > frustrating > > for her. Her motor skills make any kind of sports > difficult. She > is > > not interested in " playdates " , which I feel is a > silly term for a > 12 > > year old LOL I'm thinking of signing her up for > some kind of art > or > > sculpting class. But how hard do you push them > into social > > situations? I already have to push her into > school, and what is > > required there. I already have to push her into > weekly therapy. > > When can I stop pushing? I'm trying to figure out > where I'm > supposed > > to find the time on top of it. By the time they > are done with > > homework its dinner time, and by the time dinner > is over its time > to > > unwind for bed. I'm just so stressed out. The > school suspects my > 7 > > year old son has AS, and I have a daughter that > just had surgery 2 > > weeks ago, and has had 3 surgeries over the last 6 > months. I just > > really need some down time LOL Am I bad for > wanting that? Thanks > > for letting me vent....I feel better! > > > > > Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 What are her interests? Does she enjoy the computer? Does she like video games, does she enjoy art or nature or reading or math even? Often there are clubs around that focus on specific things like this. I know growing up I was in a math club, a computer club, a reading club and astronomy club (at different times and ages not all at once--and I lived in an extremely rural area--only 13 kids in my graduating class, from 5 towns, a public school). If it is something that she is really, really intereseted in, you may not have to "push" her to go. Overall, I would think that if you have to really push hard for her to go somewhere or do something, she is not going to enjoy it as much, as if it where something she really enjoys and that you may only have to nudge her to get her into. Check area colleges and see if they offer mentoring clubs to jr hihg and high school students in subjects that interest her. My son is only 5, so we are just entering the realm of trying to get him into structured socail activities outside of his preschool. But my brother who has a lot of AS like issues (and I think has AS though undiagnosed as he is older) really got alot out of a cooking club thorugh the local BOCES he was in for a while. But then someone said soemthign that offended him so he dropped it. But it was an interest of his and when he would do nothign else, he would get going to that group, and had a great time. Just my suggestion, Sheryl <sherylfoster@...> wrote: I know this isn't a new subject for anyone with a AS child. My question is, how hard do you push him/her? My daughters therapist is driving me nuts concerning this. My daughter is in school 6+ hours a day, and gets to see her friends while she is there. They have lunch, and recess together. When my daughter comes home in the afternoon she just wants to chill, and do her own thing. Of course homework fits in there somewhere, but I don't force my kids into any structured activities. We tried band, but that was too frustrating for her. Her motor skills make any kind of sports difficult. She is not interested in "playdates", which I feel is a silly term for a 12 year old LOL I'm thinking of signing her up for some kind of art or sculpting class. But how hard do you push them into social situations? I already have to push her into school, and what is required there. I already have to push her into weekly therapy. When can I stop pushing? I'm trying to figure out where I'm supposed to find the time on top of it. By the time they are done with homework its dinner time, and by the time dinner is over its time to unwind for bed. I'm just so stressed out. The school suspects my 7 year old son has AS, and I have a daughter that just had surgery 2 weeks ago, and has had 3 surgeries over the last 6 months. I just really need some down time LOL Am I bad for wanting that? Thanks for letting me vent....I feel better! ******************************************************** Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -RW Emerson Ideas, dreams and visions are planted within you because you have the ability to make them happen. You'll learn, grow, scramble, fail, and get back up again! The important thing is to simply never give up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Wow...sounds like you are doing a GREAT job! And, yes, since you know her best...you figured out what she needs and wants and what works the best for her. Keep up the GREAT work! BRAVO to you! Jan --- carol379 <lvs2sing@...> wrote: > I totally understand. Apart from raising my 15 y.o. > dd with AS, I > have my parents living with me, my dad has mobility > issues from a > neurological issue and my mother is suffering from > Alzeimer's brought > on by a closed head injury. And quite frankly, I > have ADHD and > chronic pain issues. At the end of the day, after > despensing > medications, preparing food, trying to keep the > house in order (that > part I am failing miserable with) I am exhausted and > my ambition is > close to zero (sometimes in the negative numbers). > So the idea of > doing " outside therapy " with a child who doesn't > want it is not on > the top of my priority list. However, I do focus on > things that she > likes, like horseback riding, and that is her big > social skills > training time. There are other kids at the barn > that love horses as > much as she does. So she already has a common area > of interest with > them. So she learns how to interact with them in > her own comfort > zone. I think she's learned more social skills at > the barn than she > did in her social skills group that she did 3 years > ago. The group > did give her a foundation but no practical > application. > > I think we as parents know what we can handle and we > also know our > kids better than anyone else. A child that is not > motivated to learn > social skills will not learn them. IMO. Not all > kids with AS want to > be loners but some do. My dd, still won't go out of > her way to be > social after school but I know that she's taken > great strides during > school to interact. When she gets home she just > needs to chill and > unwind because she's done all she can do to keep her > self " together " > at school and interact and engage. Then come > Saturday morning we head > out to the barn. > > > > Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Kate, Can we buy the 50 acres next to yours? J I thought I had sent this in and forgot about it then saw your name. Ha Regina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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