intentional potty accidents hitting, spitting on other children, and outright misbehavior

[Guest guest]

HELP!!! My 5 1/2 year old is in Kindergarten this year. He is in an integrated classroom, and has a regular ed teacher, a special ed teacher and a shared aide. We have been having a VERY challenging time with him in Kindergarten. He had been in a special needs preschool for 2 years and they felt with the right supports he would do well in an integrated classroom. He is very bright,a s many kids with HFA are, he is reading at the second grade level, can do simple math, loves reading and can figure out just about any computer game put before him. But he also has many delays, obviously, with social emotional skills, some physical delays, and auditory processing issues. The school was not real helpful at first, but as time has gone on, they have stopped treating us like over bearing parents, and have actually finally

started to communicate with us.

My son has been potty trained for over 9 months now,a nd while he will have occasional accidents, he appears to be intentionally having a bowel movement in his pants at school every day. And then laughs and giggles as they take him to the nurses office to get cleaned up and change his clothes. They have been having him sit on the potty and try to go every 2 hours, so it is not that he just forgets. He also has no problems when he is with us. Both we and his special ed teacher are thinking now that it is an intentional behavior. As he seems to really enjoy getting to go to the nurse as a "special" thing just for him. So they are going to do what we do at home when he has an "accident" that we suspect is intentional--he has to change his clothes himself, clean himself up, and put on fresh clothes. They are going to have him to this int eh regular classroom bathroom, with the teacher giving instructions through

the door (I am also going to write a list out for him to follow visually, as he does better following directions written out step by step). Hopefully this will take the "FUN" out of pooing in his pants at school every day (it has been getting more frequent as time as gone on).

Has anyone else had a similar problem before? how did you handle it and what worked? We are also having trouble with him deciding that he can talk baby talk instead of using real words.

In addition he is getting in trouble on the bus, has ended up in the principles office for hitting another child for not reason and without warning at all. And he is spitting all over the other kids an excessive amount on the bus, int eh classroom, and on the playground.

He also has decided that he can tell his parents, teachers, and bus driver "no way" when he is instructed to do something or stop doing something. He also have been very, very oppositional, mostly at home. We says something like, "G, its time for dinner" a nd he will insist it is not. He also is having major melt downs (screaming, kicking, and stomping his feet) when it is time for him to end his computer game or his TV show ends.

I am at my wits end. I had planned to be able to continue to be a stay at home mom with him and his younger brother (who has CP due to complications from prematurity). But alas my other half works in sales and on commission and with the economy being so bad, sales are abysmal, so I had to go back to work full time (which may be contributing to some of this as well, as I had been home all the time and now he has a sitter a couple days a week after school and goes to the after school program a couple of days a week as well).

I am not sure what to do, we have tried so many different things to try to help curb these issues, and his behavior just gets more and more challenging every day. I need some advice from some of you who have been there done that. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks,

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Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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"I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable." -- ph