Guest guest Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 ah: I certainly feel your distress. I assure you though that there are fathers out there who "get it" and participate on this list. You child's partner may even "get it" somewhat too. Having said that, dads are not moms and parent differently, even with neuro-typical children. Dads are often the source of less engaged parenting and "tough love". The balance I, personally, am always trying to strike is to understand my child without excusing his behavioral manifestations. Our kids (well most of them) still need to learn to live amongst the neuro-typical majority. Remember, also, there is a strong genetic link between autism and males so there is a better than 1:150 chance that if a chid has an ASD so does Dad or Grandpa. Perhaps, this is also at work with your spouse. If so, he may not only be coming to grips with a new understanding of your child but himself. Very truly yours; Todd B. Kotler Attorney and Counselor at Law PO Box 2041 Massillon, Ohio 44646-2041 330-777-0065 Phone / Fax / VoicemailDISCLAIMERThis e-mail contains information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If the reader of this e-mail is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, any dissemination, publication or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. The sender does not accept any responsibility for any loss, disruption or damage to your data or computer system that may occur while using data contained in, or transmitted with, this e-mail. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify us by return e-mail. Thank you. -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ]On Behalf Of maryahmakiSent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 22:47 Subject: ( ) Fathers!! Hey all you moms. (And Dads, too if any come to this site).Are there any fathers out there that really understand and try to get their children with AS? Or is it just the mom that tries, and we have to get the Fathers to understand?I'm sorry if this sounds rude. I'm just sitting here crying wondering what to do about this.ah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 Having been through this myself with my husband, I would just like to say that the very first thing that started turning my husband around was taking him to appointments with evaluators/doctors so he could hear it for himself from the mouths of professionals and ask his own questions. After that, it was a matter of giving him room to deal with it on his own time and his own way. He never read anything I gave him, but he found his own things to read that suited him more. He has never wanted to talk to me much about it, but he has joined a discussion group or two (different ones than the ones I am on--says he thinks I need my space--I think he is the one that wants his space LOL). I don't think he has ever posted a single thing, but he reads sometimes. He's having a hard time. I can only get him to come to school meetings by saying I really want him to come and playing the helpless female card. He doesn't come because he wants to, he doesn't prepare at all, and doesn't participate much. But it is a start. He still kind of thinks/wishes we could remove all these supports and let our son alone and he would be fine. He still kind of sees Asperger as my thing rather than something that exists on its own right. Don't know if this helps, but it is my BTDT. Still a work in progress! Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Wow, - you are so lucky! It's also great that your dad will be able to take his knowledge and use it at the school. Roxanna Autism Happens ( ) Fathers!! Hey all you moms. (And Dads, too if any come to this site). Are there any fathers out there that really understand and try to get their children with AS? Or is it just the mom that tries, and we have to get the Fathers to understand? I'm sorry if this sounds rude. I'm just sitting here crying wondering what to do about this. ah Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off to learn how. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Be sure and share any tips you get from your dad! These are goals I have for my 12 yo ds, too!!! So far, the sped teachers have just wanted to do the following: Get a timer and have him work for X minutes at a time, increasing the time as he meets with success. Have him use an agenda. I can't remember anything else. Well, there are things like, "Use a graphic organizer" when writing. I will be doing the timer but I am not sure it will work because we did this when he was in 1st and 2nd grade and he hyper-focuses on the timer so much that he doesn't do his work. So that may have to be adjusted. I don't know because it hasn't been tried in a long while. Having him fill out his own agenda is just not the best idea. I don't see him as having the skills necessary to do this on a regular basis. I think I will need to start by working on it with him. In the past two years, I have gotten his assignments each week and listed them for him. So he could see the day at the top, then check off each one as he finishes it. (because he e-schools, I can easily do this.) It works ok this way. I think I will have to "baby step" him into doing it on his own though. First, I think I'd like him to use the list on his own before I start making him write it up himself. I also attend a lot of his classes with him (e-school means the classes are online, of course.) But I do that because I need to redirect him a lot to stay on task. If I leave the room, he seems to wander, get up, do something else, or start chatting with the other kids but not about the lesson. So I'd like to get him to attend more on his own and me less. Of course, a benefit to me being here in the class is that I can help him with his work since I know the material. But it does take all my time. I am hoping once we get over the puberty bump he will be able to focus a little better. Roxanna Autism Happens ( ) Fathers!! Hey all you moms. (And Dads, too if any come to this site). Are there any fathers out there that really understand and try to get their children with AS? Or is it just the mom that tries, and we have to get the Fathers to understand? I'm sorry if this sounds rude. I'm just sitting here crying wondering what to do about this. ah Wanna slim down for summer? Go to America Takes it Off to learn how. Make your summer sizzle with fast and easy recipes for the grill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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