Re: Ignoring my child's obsession

May 28, 2009

bestmombrooklyn wrote: about 4 year old's play.

You want to play with her this way for say 30 minutes or so and see if you can

transition her to something she can't perfectionize.

Maybe something sensory she likes swings, jumping, gym time.

When my daughter was 4 I got her out of the house everyday

for one activity that got her out of her head and more

into movement of some kind.

As much as you can you don't want this kind of play to go on

for hours like this alone. Unless this is just one small part of her

day and she is engaged with you and others and this is relaxing to her.

You want to start with her idea of play and

see if you can stretch it into something else where she is engaged

with you in other ways too.

My daughter turns a fun activity like doll hair until a task

that I must do right and I do not enjoy.

I see my task as broadening my daughter's interests. I have taken

her roller skating (at age 8), we go to movies (use to be to loud).

At age 4 she is still so young ...but a walk in the park,

reading to her at the library, going to Mc's (a place with

other kids), a YMCA class for little tots.

If you get her to be with other kids, spend time with her on the

swing set, maybe doing messy art, then maybe the perfectionizing she

is doing with the hair won't dominate the day but she may enjoy it

still on some level.

My daughter was very much like this. She still is like this to some extent. But

she also has many other interests too.

Pam

> My daughter, age 4 has become obsessed with styling her dolls' hair (dolls,

plural!). When I mean obsessed, I'm guessing you guys know it means not stopping

for hours. only trouble is that she cannot exactly twist a ponytail holder

around the hair on her own, yet. So every 2 minutes, she comes to me for help. I

mean, every 2 minutes, for hours. I already put my foot down a few times and I

said that if you can't make *her* a ponytail, then use the headbands! Well, she

keeps coming again and again.

>

> Do I have a right to stick to my guns and teach her to play on her own, or is

it cruel since it is an obsession, I'm not helping her be soothed by it because

I'm not helping her arrive to her goal? HELP! I'm losing my mind. (oh, she has

about 40 dolls with long hair!)

>

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