reintroduction

[Guest guest]

I'm kinda not up to speed so thought I'd reintroduce myself and try to catch up. I was told I need to talk to others in the same boat so I'm on this group hoping to not feel so overwhelmed.

My son has aspergers with high intelligence (145 IQ). He's almost 18 and in his last year of high school, whether or not he graduates. I'm working on selling my timeshare to give him extra school money. He has high anxiety and has been prescribed some type of valium and cymbalta (I think). The anti-depressant seems to have turned him a 180 and he is great at school now, listens and gets along MOSTLY.

We have issues with him not being able to accept help. He gets incredibly angry. He also is unable/unwilling to ask for help. He's told me he wants me to get on his case, pick fights with him, whatever it takes so he will do his school work. He can't get himself up in the morning, no matter how loud and obnoxious the alarm is so he expects me to do it. He won't go to bed at night and claims it's his upset stomach. He's a gamer, which I've encouraged because he talks to people a LOT rather than talk to no one. I would rather he didn't lose sleep though and have caught him up late at night on his game. I find it to be a poor compromise as he can be super cranky without enough sleep, but the Cymbalta has been helping him find he needs to sleep at night too.

On the good side, he's incredibly sweet, can hold any conversation, is insightful, and is an animal magnet, all animals love him and flock to him. (It's almost weird). He's very smart and I hope to help him work through his concentration issues and retrain himself to be able to sit and figure things out rather than want someone else to do it for him. He tests well, just can not complete homework for the life of him.

He was diagnosed 2 years ago with a firm diagnosis last year (in writing). So, we've not had much time to get used to the idea, we always thought he had ADD/ADHD.

Also, we tried many diets, found dropping milk and wheat was a huge benefit but couldn't stick with it. Also used amino fuel (had lots of brain food nutrients based on my research) and that helped quite a bit. But we aren't too consistent and now understanding what it is he is dealing with we are looking into dialectical behavior therapy/training (DBT) per a recommend by his special ed teacher.

That's the gist of it. He's truly the most precious part of my life and I am very lucky to have him as my son. He's also a pain in the neck but I love him.

Deb S

[Guest guest]

Liz : yes, they will have each other, which is good in one way but then they don't try and make friends because they have each other...The program sounds wonderful and if will go and try to learn he will be better off and more equipped to handle college on his own again soon. That sounds perfect... just what they need. I have tried to teach them 'daily' things and they just won't listen to me like they would someone else...see my boys won't even take the phone from my hands unless I tell them it's ok, it's dad or grandma... so I can see major problems with school BUT the disability director we met sounds like he would help them if only they will LET him. That's the difficult part, getting them to understand just how much they DO depend on us... I hope they won't have to learn the hard way.... I hope sticks with it, it sounds like it will benefit him greatly.. you must have better persuasive tactics than me and my dh...< grin> Toni

Re: ( ) reintroduction

Hi Deb,

There are a few of us with older kids with AS on this listserv. I've got an almost 20 (can you old timers believe it???) year old with AS. He's had one year of college, then dropped out due to severe depression. Starting in the summer, he's going into a program that will work with him on independent living skills, social skills, executive function skills, and the skills he'll need for college. (He'll take a college course or two.) It's a program specifically for young people with Asperger's. This is a difficult time in anyone's life, because separating from one's parents and thinking of making a life of one's own can be scary. But for a young person with AS, I think this is doubly true. They often just don't have the skills to do that. At least in my house, there is a lot of anxiety around this issue.

Liz