Help with independent living skills/apt etc

[Guest guest]

DS, 24 has been at Job Corps a hundred miles away and now has finished his GED

and Culinary Vocational Arts program, yeah, we are VERY PROUD! But now that he

is ready to move to the next step--leaving the center and getting a job, neither

they or we think he is ready to live independently, as in " all alone in an

apartment. " So along with Job Corps, we are researching options...however, I

feel like dejavu, this is exactly what I was looking for before he went! He can

stay there a little longer, but would really like to find good working

situation.

I wish, that he was maturing at 24 and miraculously functioning, but it isn't

happening. Everything still takes him longer, needs more oversight, is much

harder than for other young adults.

I don't see how he is functioning at school after seeing him at home. He brought

home a friend a couple of weeks ago. Friend immediately asked about laundry to

do his wash, son had to be reminded over and over and over to get his laundry

together, other kid just did it! Other kid took shower every day, DS had to be

reminded, warned, nagged, and yelled at and threatened with grounding to take a

shower! And then he did not shave or brush his teeth, until same routine

initiated.

There is a program run by College Living Experience: " To facilitate a successful

transition to college and independent adulthood, CLE students live with a

roommate in an apartment near campus. With coaching from an independent living

skills instructor, students learn to manage their money, pay bills and use an

ATM. Students shop for groceries and prepare their own meals. They clean their

apartments and do their laundry. They take public transportation. Many students

with Asperger's, autism and learning disabilities are performing these tasks for

the first time in their lives, and doing so facilitates their transition to

independent living. "

Our son needs about half of the above, he can do most of these things, just

needs a little help and overseeing by someone other than me saying " OMG, look at

this pigstye! "

Where do you find this kind of person or arrangement, what kind of training do

they have? JobCorps is looking also. The CLE also assists with school but it

starts at $33,000! I have called to see if scholarship money might be available.

Or to find out how these people are trained to be these facilitators.

It is funny in a way that we are going through the same situation with husbands

elderly aunt in Florida who needs " just a little help to live independently. "

Same as son!

ly, I am too tired and too burned out on dealing with son to even begin to

find this person/situation.

Sue in TN

[Guest guest]

Thanks, sounds a lot like our son. Have you ever tried the Dave Ramsay envelope

method with him for money mgmt? That was one thing that did work with our son.

He would cash paycheck, he got paid weekly, and then he had a set of envelopes

with an amount on each and each labeled " rent " " car " " gas " etc and he divided

his check up each week. Then what was left after proper amounts in envelope

went into cash for spending envelope. It is the only money thing that has worked

with DS, it was so much more visual than a checking account number.

Good luck to son that wants to go to Job Corps. If it fits your child's

personality it is wonderful.

Sue in Tn

> > DS, 24 has been at Job Corps a hundred miles away and now has finished his

GED and Culinary Vocational Arts program, yeah, we are VERY PROUD! But now that

he is ready to move to the next step--leaving the center and getting a job,

neither they or we think he is ready to live independently, as in " all alone in

an apartment. " So along with Job Corps, we are researching options...however, I

feel like dejavu, this is exactly what I was looking for before he went! He can

stay there a little longer, but would really like to find good working

situation.

> >

> > I wish, that he was maturing at 24 and miraculously functioning, but it

isn't happening. Everything still takes him longer, needs more oversight, is

much harder than for other young adults.

> >

> > I don't see how he is functioning at school after seeing him at home. He

brought home a friend a couple of weeks ago. Friend immediately asked about

laundry to do his wash, son had to be reminded over and over and over to get his

laundry together, other kid just did it! Other kid took shower every day, DS had

to be reminded, warned, nagged, and yelled at and threatened with grounding to

take a shower! And then he did not shave or brush his teeth, until same routine

initiated.

> >

> > There is a program run by College Living Experience: " To facilitate a

successful transition to college and independent adulthood, CLE students live

with a roommate in an apartment near campus. With coaching from an independent

living skills instructor, students learn to manage their money, pay bills and

use an ATM. Students shop for groceries and prepare their own meals. They clean

their apartments and do their laundry. They take public transportation. Many

students with Asperger's, autism and learning disabilities are performing these

tasks for the first time in their lives, and doing so facilitates their

transition to independent living. "

> >

> > Our son needs about half of the above, he can do most of these things, just

needs a little help and overseeing by someone other than me saying " OMG, look at

this pigstye! "

> >

> > Where do you find this kind of person or arrangement, what kind of training

do they have? JobCorps is looking also. The CLE also assists with school but it

starts at $33,000! I have called to see if scholarship money might be available.

Or to find out how these people are trained to be these facilitators.

> >

> > It is funny in a way that we are going through the same situation with

husbands elderly aunt in Florida who needs " just a little help to live

independently. " Same as son!

> >

> > ly, I am too tired and too burned out on dealing with son to even begin

to find this person/situation.

> >

> > Sue in TN

> >

> >

>