UPDATE Re: How do I start this teacher relationship...

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everybody for all your help. Below is what I ended up writing. I

kept it to what the teacher mentioned and didn't offer help since he wasn't

asking for any. Vicky, I hope you don't mind I borrowed one of your snippets

verbatim. I just didn't see any need for change.

I won't send this until morning. I'm thinking about making the first paragraph

a little less harsh somehow, although I sort of don't mind letting my irritation

show through a little. And I feel sort of weird e-mailing so much, but I work

days and it is so much easier than trying to talk at the office. I'm thinking

my next contact should be a phone call though, regardless.

Ruth

Good morning, -----. Thank you for e-mailing me about -----. I understand

exactly what you mean about him telling you what he thinks you want to hear but

not following through. This is a classic example of his Aspergers. You are

correct that when you strip everything else away ----- does not take ownership

and responsibility for his daily classroom objectives. This is because he is

not able to do so. If he could do this he would have no need for a 504 plan and

would not be being considered for an IEP.

----- needs are probably different than what you are used to, or at least that

is what other teachers tell me. One quick suggestion I have is to reframe

conditional language into declarative language. If you " ask " him to use his

agenda, he will take the question in a literal way, thinking you mean it to be a

choice. If there are no consequences to his not doing the agenda, again he will

take this in a literal way and think that means it is okay not to do it. Since

he can't read body language, he doesn't feel the social pressure kids normally

do when they are told to do things by adults.

Just to let you know where ----- is at regarding some of the things you

mentioned...

The purpose of the new agenda was to give ----- more room to write as he needs

to write down more than simply the assignment - chunking, materials, checklists,

etc. It is not just a matter of reminding him to write down these things. He

needs to learn how to pick out what details he'll need later and develop

understanding of his working memory and other weaknesses and how to compensate

with strengths.

Organization - Now that ----- has his binder set up in a way that is simple

enough for him to manage, he has gotten pretty good at putting

assignments/materials he is working on in the front of the appropriate folder

(or at the front of his binder), but never organizes or throws away things after

the due date. (I have been helping him as much as I can, although I'm afraid to

do too much since I don't know what things are and he is too overwhelmed to help

much.)

We are using a collaborative learning style of intervention with -----. This

was suggested for ----- by ----- and we are happy with how it is working at

home. Although I think it works better for me than my husband. And I think it

is fine for different people to use different strategies. You probably know

better than myself what the teachers are using.

This is probably way more than you need. Thanks again for your help.

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