Introduction and question.

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. New here with, of course, a major problem...but first a 'little' (I

use this word very loosely) background...

DS 12 was diagnosed with AS when he was nine, but we had been diagnosed with

AD/HD prior to that. He had been evaluated privately the first time when he was

four and has been evaluated by the school system and privately a total of six

times all told. Each time prior to the official diagnosis said 'gifted, adhd,

maybe Asperger's but we're just not ready to give that diagnosis'.

Anyway, as is the case for many with AS, my ds knew he was different early on

because he was treated differently by peers and he preferred the company of

adults. He is also very bright and liked to talk about and do things that most

of his peers weren't into yet. In addition, when it came time for regular

school, it became apparent that he was having significant issues with attention

and with written output. I had no problem getting the school to recognize he's

difficulties, but lots of problems getting them to recognize the areas where he

had tested way above grade level. He ended up mainstreamed for most of the day

with some OT and some pull out for language arts due to his written output

issues. He continued to have issues with peers bullying him or (when the school

stepped in) just ignoring and excluding him. Several of his mainstream teachers

couldn't figure out how to engage him so they just let him sit and do nothing,

which I only found out about after the fact from a parent volunteer whom I met

much later.

Finally after the AS evaluation, the person who did the evaluation told me about

a program in another county that offered a GT/LD program that she thought would

be a good fit. We moved during the middle of fourth grade and he was accepted to

the program for his fifth grade year. Those years were the golden years and my

son did as well as he'd ever done and even made a few friends. Unfortunately

circumstances required that we move back to the county we had come from at the

end of ds's sixth grade year. Rather than putting him into a huge secondary

school (7th-12th grades with something like 3000 kids enrolled) I have chosen to

homeschool him.

Now for the problem that brought me here. Ds used to be a very charming kid. He

was generally very sweet and agreeable as a child, excpet at home where he would

sometimes be oppositional, stressed and sad...like he was bottling up his

negative feelings from the day and letting loose on me (I'm a single parent

btw). However, mid-way through last school year (he would have been aroung 11.5

then) he began to change for the worse.

He has become sullen, angry, mean and condescending. Now I suspect that part of

this is related to puberty, but some of his behaviors have to be stopped. He has

begun throwing fits that it is hard for me to describe here without starting to

cry and these fits are occuring in public not just at home. He screams and

screams, hits and kicks things and me and himself. These things happen when he

doesn't get something he wants or is asked to do something he doesn't want to do

or is disappointed in some way. These things only happen, however, when I am

present. If he is with his father (my ex-husband who is also definitely AS but

never diagnosed and has a horrible temper which is the reason we are not

together) he won't act out. He says it's because he's afraid of him. When he's

with my father (who watches him on days when I go into the office) he's fine...I

think part of that's because he gets what he wants and isn't asked to do things

he doesn't want to do when he's with him. He seems so much more severely AS now

which I don't understand. I thought he would improve with age but he seems to be

exhibiting much more severe symptoms. He's becoming more rigid and resistant to

change, obviously more explosive, stimming more and just unpleasant to be

around.

I feel that he probably needs to be in therapy of some sort, but I'm not sure

what kind of therapy or if I'm going to be able to afford it. In short I would

love some btdt advice and, if possible, some local recommendations/resources.

We're in the Washington, D.C. metro region.

Thanks for reading...